757 Matching Annotations
  1. Jan 2024
    1. Agency is the satisfying power to take meaningful action and see the results of our decisions and choices.

      Here's the first unsatisfying definition

  2. Dec 2023
    1. Distinguished from the commonplace trope of an orphan discovering their destiny, t

      you need a citation in this paragraph. It very closely resembles the author's intro

    1. Solnit.

      tags go in parenthesis and if the original is paginated, include a page number (Solnit 23).

    1. nvisible illness," a.k.a. depression

      is the final diagnosis "depression"? I remember it as being narcolepsy.

    1. n games isn't actually possible,

      I think she says that empathy is an over-used adjective in relation to games. Not everyone can feel what it is to be or to feel a particular way

    1. No description available.

      title an details should be completed when you upload the image and the made visible in the caption when you import the image into your page.

    1. If you compare the figure below with the picture on page 1 of my book yo

      put them both in here

    1. the reader achieves an understanding of the emotional issues that others face.

      It's perhaps as if "soft underbelly" is the cat for the reader

    1. Development Page 1 Justin

      subtitles would be helpful to tell the subtopic and the game. Your name can go in the description or in the text box

    1. aken out of historical, political, social, economic and cultural context to paint Muslims in a certain undesirable light

      patchwork plagiarism.

      The whole section is a paraphrase of the author's intro. Whatever ideas are not your own need to be cited in-text with lead-ins and tags

    2. mindlesslessly consuming

      exact wording from game

    3. (con)TEXT looks at a small piece of text, modelled after a headline, and examines some of the many contexts that it is steeped in.

      this is exact language from the game

    1. It describes the representations of the Islam religion that we are exposed to in media is taken out of historical, political, social, economic and cultural context to paint Muslims in a certain undesirable light

      This sentence is the same as in the intro

    2. s the issue of decontextualisation, which is something imposed onto Muslims.

      summary of about form game

    1. To some extent, I would want you to explore this gaming mechanism. Here you mention it but then switch to Rukhl and Salzman without looking back to the image and the work it does.

    1. Survive the Century" and "My Coastal Futures

      you need to include makers names, dates, links etc

    1. agency is

      agency and immersion are different terms. I see you get to that difference below. Here following the qtn, you need to work with the language of the quotation

    1. This creates a continuous desire to immerse themselves within the landscapes due to the discomfort that they sense

      are you suggesting that Omori really is not therapeutic? or are shifting scenarios part of experiencing depression from a sage distance?

    2. No description available.

      need titles and descriptions for all the images!

    1. but in reality Sunny actually commits suicide by jumping off of a hospital balcony.

      Why did you choose to focus on this ending? Does it offer any particular insight to the theme you're following?

    1. This explanation “degamifies” the HUD, turning it from something that takes one out of the game world, and turns it into something that pulls the player further in.

      important but unclear

    2. UI..

      write out all acronyms (even within the quote--use [ square brackets] to denote the insertion

    1. No description available

      titles and descriptions can be built into scalar and serve as captions/citations

    1. MLA citations for all referenced works

      the works cited should be in alphabetical order.

    2. Murray, Janet. "Hamlet on the Holodeck." MIT Press, 1997.

      note that the version I copied chapters for class is from 2017

    1. To

      add a paragraph about your individual sections and brief summaries of the individual angles each section takes

    2. bring different meanings to the table about why we feel certain ways about discovery games.

      I'm not sure what this means. Being specific will help. What kinds of meanings and what ways of feeling.

    1. the games foster empathy and understanding, challenging players to confront their own biases and preconceptions.

      this is an example of a dangling modifier which makes for confusing syntax. You need a subject of the main clause that matches the subject of the introductory clause. (...we use games that foster empathy . . .to . . . .

    1. ughts.”

      use the 3-step quotation integration template. Follow the quotation with a citation, a paraphrase and an explanation/ exploration of how it adds to your analysis of the image.

    2. Getting Over It, With Bennett Foddy is an interactive platformer game available on mac and windows. The premise of the game is relatively simple: the player uses a hammer as a hook to climb up a mountain of obstacles while the narrator, Bennett Foddy, pokes and prods at the player. While strange and relatively simple compared to other platformers, Getting Over It is infamous for being difficult and frustrating to play, due partially to the intentionally awkward obstacle placement and in small part to Foddy’s half philosophical half mocking comments. It is as much a test of one’s willpower and frustration as it is a test of one’s platforming skill. In this, Getting Over It is a metaphor for the struggle of life in isolation.

      this info should go into the introduction. This page should be devoted to image analysis and connection to the quotation.

    1. Give these pages titles that set up the content. You can include your names also if that works for you

    1. Some additional set up for your book is needed in this introduction. What works dis you choose? Why? What aspects of or angles to the theme do they bring?

      What is the goal of your book

    1. Mental Health Day. This is a work created on itch and created by a user called myleshouse.

      You can put the platform info in parentheses. Also note that itch.io is (I think) just a server not a creation platform (Twine for instance is a creation platform).

      Then write a sentence summarizing the plot of Mental Health Day and Mental health.

    2. This work follows our groups theme of wellness because you have to avoid feelings like stress and sadness in order to stay mentally well in this game.

      ok.<br /> Follow up on this by suggesting what these games show about the relationship between mental health and gaming. Why are the games relevant and worth studying? Why should the viewer carry on to your pages?

    3. The next

      Start a new paragraph here. You space and spacing to organize your argument and claims

    4. mainly on mental health.

      be specific here! what aspects of mental health and what do they offer?

  3. Nov 2023
    1. Really nice work with the quotation. In your connection to the image and the game, you need more explanation.

    2. which bears great similarity to a real person.

      unclear

    3. In this passage, Murray argues

      Good clear rhetoical move

    1. Looking across the open ocean into a distant horizon evokes in the player's mind ideas of possibility and journe

      Working with the image in more detail is needed here! Consider how your discussion of the idea in the quotation opens up a way to think about the image from Redshift and Portalmetal and the story itself.

    1. some proofing of the sentences would be effective for clarity!

    2. In order to do so, the player must make more assumptions about the fictional world while also considering the differences between reality and fiction T

      good point--Murray's description of immersion puts the reader as oscillating between the real and the imaginary in a kind of orchestrated or willed movement.

    1. The physical equivalent of the theater's fourth wall would be the screen which is the interface which allows interaction between reader and story. Though the importance of what the digital fourth wall is does not lie in its physical equivalent, but rather in its impact on reader interaction.

      a little confusing in your language here. However, when you use the claim to analyze the image, your point becomes clearer AND the analysis exposes interesting aspects of "A Lost Scroll"

    1. This image portrays how the internet isolates users with feelings of individualism, while also giving them a sense of publicity with others.

      More detail about how what you see in the image relates to the feelings you note would make this connection and analysis more pertinent

    2. a person's imagination

      or rather, between an imaginary world ?

  4. Oct 2023
    1. format by giving the reader much more agency over the events of the story.

      Most of the passage explores this idea of agency--your paraphrase omits much of the richness of Murray's discussion. Consider that working closely with the language is a way to build complexity and depth that you (as writer) can then connect to your own analysis.

    1. moving around a digital environment

      as a self check, note how closely this phrasing resembles the original

    2. people enjoy navigating the internet, discovering the different topics they can learn about with just the click of a button and observing the changes they create through affecting and moving around a digital environment

      Some of your paraphrase seems to be outside this passage-note the importance of accurately representing the original.

    1. the ideas Pardeck had about th

      this pointing to Pardeck is great. Although these 2 sentences could be one

    2. consumers

      I'm not sure about this terminology. It's a loaded term. Readers would be better.

    3. Nair

      you need to include the other authors! MLA uses et al. for more than 2 authors

    1. digital forms are slowly becoming more popular than traditional books

      this idea is key to the passage bu underplayed here--reread the first and last sentences of the original!

    1. the maze orientation where there is a single solution

      Very similar/same phrasing. Consider the concept at stake.

    2. Murray suggests that moving forward in adventure games elicits both feelings of success and agency in the reader.

      I find this paraphrase a little too brief. It loses some of the richness of ideas of the original! Think complexity rather than utility!

    1. specific choices

      what kinds of choices? Here, some specificity about the relation between navigation and choice would help to make this paraphrase more effective.

    2. .

      if the work is paginated, your summaries/paraphrases need page # tags.

    1. o.

      consider how your connection might specifically deal with "emotions" in Voices

    2. process their emotions

      for the most part, this phrasing captures the original; however, you ignore the second part of the passage where the idea of "processing" is further expained

    3. by relating to a fictional character

      nearly exact language here. Consider the concept under consideration rather than a word-for word transcription.

    1. powerful tool

      exact language

    2. acilitate psychological realizations

      this is exact language from the original. As such, it's problematic. Consider the idea that is at stake here and rework the terms

  5. Sep 2023
    1. However, bibliotherapy can also be conducted with creative texts, giving readers the chance to analyse and accept their emotions and thoughts with relation to a fictional character. The bibliotherapy process involves readers progressing through stages of recognition, examination and insight into issues and feelings, and acceptance and problem solving (Pardeck, 2014).

      Passage 4 for annotating

    2. The content that we encounter online can help facilitate powerful psychological realisations and collective change. Bibliotherapy is a broad umbrella term for any type of directed reading (fiction or nonfiction) to help with psychological issues (Sevinc, 2019). While books can be a powerful therapeutic tool, the number of people who continue to enjoy the traditional print novel is on the decline, especially amongst younger generations (e.g. Clark & Goff, 2020). There are those among us who are still voracious readers but, collectively, more time is spent on newer media forms like film, television, videogames and bite-sized videos and captions in our social media feeds.

      passage 1 for summarizing

    1. As I move forward, I feel a sense of powerfulness, of significant action, that is tied to my pleasure in the unfolding story. In an adventure game this pleasure also feels like winning. But in a narrative experience not structured as a win-lose contest the movement forward has the feeling of enacting a meaningful experience both consciously chosen and surprising. However, there is a drawback to the maze orientation: it moves the interactor toward a single solution, toward finding the one way out.

      Passage 4 for summarizing

    2. All of them allow us to experience pleasures specific to intentional navigation: orienting ourselves by landmarks, mapping a space mentally to match our experience, and admiring the juxtapositions and changes in perspective that derive from moving through an intricate environment.

      PASSAGE 3 for Summarizing

    3. Agency is the satisfying power to take meaningful action and see the results of our decisions and choices.

      Great definition of "agency." I think though that it leaves it up to us to determine what meaningful action is and what constitutes satisfying results.

    4. This chapter is partially copied here!

    1. In an adventure game this pleasure also feels like winning. But in a narrative experience not structured as a win-lose contest the movement forward has the feeling of enacting a meaningful experience both consciously chosen and surprising. However, there is a drawback to the maze orientation: it moves the interactor toward a single solution, toward finding the one way out.

      Passage 4 for summarizing

    2. All of them allow us to experience pleasures specific to intentional navigation: orienting ourselves by landmarks, mapping a space mentally to match our experience, and admiring the juxtapositions and changes in perspective that derive from moving through an intricate environment.

      Passage 3 for summarizing

    3. We sing along with the chorus and remain silent for the verse; we answer the singer’s “call” with the appropriate response. And we do these things in unison as a single voice.

      Murray writes about call and response as a a kind of participatory engagement but with limited engagement because it's a form with expected patterns. I think this kind of repetition in traditional forms speaks to a kind of social agency if not to individual agency

    1. Despite the clear potential for the use of literature and creative work to positively influence behaviour and psychological wellbeing, there is little research that examines the use of fictional bibliotherapy. The more frequently utilised and researched genre of ‘self-help’ books have been critiqued as being problematically gendered, focusing on individual flaws women are responsible for fixing in themselves, whilst not addressing the underlying social context which perpetuates insecurity (Riley et al., 2019).

      passage 3 for summarizing.

    2. The content that we encounter online can help facilitate powerful psychological realisations and collective change. Bibliotherapy is a broad umbrella term for any type of directed reading (fiction or nonfiction) to help with psychological issues (Sevinc, 2019). While books can be a powerful therapeutic tool, the number of people who continue to enjoy the traditional print novel is on the decline, especially amongst younger generations (e.g. Clark & Goff, 2020). There are those among us who are still voracious readers but, collectively, more time is spent on newer media forms like film, television, videogames and bite-sized videos and captions in our social media feeds.

      passage 2 for summarizing

    3. While there is growing evidence that online media is harming us, we need to move the focus toward creating research and creative solutions that reimagine the stories being told online.

      Passage 1 for paraphrasing.

  6. Dec 2020
    1. Also, based on the origin of the game, Anthropy reveals the hypocrisy in what they did by trying to pander to the LGBT community through spoofing said game. 

      I'm confused by this sentence.

      I'd also appreciate an explanation of why space travel is relevant as a figure or "space" for representing LGBTQ+ stories (I think you're claiming this?).

    1. This screencast displays the animation features i

      absolutely haunting!

    2. : episodic and semantic memories.

      these terms need to be defined otherwise it's not clear what point you're making.

    1. poetic response to DuPlessis's essay.

      what is Du Plessis's essay about? and how does "Dreamlife" respond? More detail needed to set up your reader.

    1. ).

      see page note!

    2. This page is a solid block of text. Break it up--use the space of the page and guide your reader through ideas

    1. Really all the different pieces of text and media are all fragments to construct the greater work, all of which provide as the source of violence throughout the story that the reader has to endure.

      Very insightful claim!

    1. I see

      New paragraph here (for visual cues to move through your ideas).

      Nice connection between Short's concepts of game development and this work. -- one could expand even more by linking out to pursue in depth the information about trafficking.

    1. he player is able to understand Theodora's experience and gain a perspective on the struggles caused by autism. 

      based on the details in the previous pages, I wonder if autism is the cause of Theodora's struggles or if it's rather people who abuse others who they see as weak.

    1. and is typically considered to not be a proper video game.

      by whom?

    1. erge Bouchardon and Vincent Volckaert's "Loss of Grasp" (2010)

      Bouchardon has update this work in 2019. He also made it into a cell phone app

    2. Hazel Smith's "Motions" (2014)

      need to include all authors and programmers

  7. Nov 2020
    1. The player/reader becomes very accustomed to the format of linked phrases leading to ideas. Thus when they reach the ending and are given a true choice between links, they are surprised by the new organized format of the links and the fact that they are actions, not simply ideas. This changes the player/reader and helps them infer that the final decision is important.

      nice reading and adaptation of Meadows idea

    1. as its own shock value, for whatever  that’s worth.

      Page is pretty brief. Some context needed for the reader who hasn't read the work . Some additional analysis too!

    1. The map is great--did you make that?

      The video need some integration--why have you included it--what do you want it to show?

    1. The Escape element of "Paranormal Interactivity" will be recreated within this electronic literature book. So, you will have to pay attention if you wish to escape.

      I love this!

    1. society.

      this section following the two images seems like it should have it's own page.

    1. When Waddell uses such intense scenes and places them in hidden locations, he plays with the way the reader interoperates and interacts with the game. In a playthrough in which the reader never discovers the backstory, the animals seem to hold the greatest fault for the broken relationship, and the motifs that are written into main scenes providing a hidden bridge to these backstories, are unnoticed. Some scenes in which the darker nature of humans is revealed quite boldly, can even seem to be an exaggerated reaction to a different event based on what the reader has discovered. One example of this being the feeding of a classroom pet.

      It's interesting that a different path can lead to a radically different meaning.

    1. this story begins with a human sacrifice—an issue that, as Meadows mentions on page 24 of Pause & Effect, is something universal

      This sentence is unclear--human sacrifice isn't universal and I don't remember Meadows discussing human sacrifice.

    1. ne could easily pity Karen's father because of his war-inflicted hearing problems, but doing so would belittle Karen's experience as a person subject to his abuse.

      This is a really good point. It's difficult to know where to direct our pity in this story.

    1. The whole experience is less about the story, and more focused and interested in the player’s usage of their freedom to progress the story.

      Great point!

    1. As Case concludes, “Our problem today isn't just that people are losing trust, it's that our environment acts against the evolution of trust.”

      I'm intrigued by the connection you're making on this page and the claim. The discussion is just too brief and too dependent on knowing something beyond this page.

    2. this concept

      which concept?

    1. The addition of being able to converse with the game’s characters in some way makes every playthrough feel different, and overall makes Façade rather unique.

      I love this example. I'd really like to see some discussion on the interesting/unique aspect of these facial expressions

    1. .”

      what's the game about? You need a summary

    2. -such as JackSepticEye and Brutalmoose-

      probably a good place to link out.

      You need citations on this page!

  8. Dec 2019
    1. One of the floating stanzas scattered throughout the virtual world

      the image is so small that the reader can't really see the text.

      Think about design choices on this page and ways that the visual can be more visible and also about you could break up this giant chunk of text and make use of white space.

    2. The author’s specific use of such poetry is used to make a claim regarding the antiquity of traditional writing. Th

      interesting claim

    1. the concept of loss and this image helps to underline the idea of loss of self. This concept is portrayed simply by the reader’s initial position, they are placed in an unknown environment with no explanation to how they got there and they are surrounded by stanzas that convey little meaning but hold fragments of a story.

      does loss = lost?

      Good place also for a paragraph break

    1. seen strewn all around the player.

      What is the poem/game about? some additional summary is needed.

    1. With each transformation the avatar loses more and more of his physical self. 

      why does the avatar become more fishlike?

    1. Loss of Individuality PreziYoliztli Lopez

      I'd like to see more integration of these images, especially the "Loss, undersea" image--How are you using them and what do they show?

    1. r. 

      You need a more extended summary of the work--what is the story or the occasion of its poem? How does one navigate the work.

    1. Contrast is the difference between elements, where the combination of those elements makes one element stand out from another.” Th

      This idea of contrast in design is interesting. Your discussion needs some expanding-how does the idea of contrast inform your understanding of the game?

    1. Note that the title of the page should be your own.

      Good overview of game and game play. What is the story of the work/game?

    1. This Is How You Will Die' attempts to highlight the randomness that is characteristic of death; instead of predicting how we might die or worrying about it, we might as well mash together  random ways one could die so as to create one coherent story. T

      This idea of coherence from random elements (or of sentence parts in this case) is a frequent consideration of computer-generated lit.

    2. Nelson strips away this comfort with great effectivity and pessimism while unsuccessfully attempting to hide this dark basis behind this piece of e-literature. 

      so is the game/work whimsical and humorous or dark and pessimistic?

    1. However what separates Everybody Dies from other works is that more freedom is given, you may drastically change the path, but never the outcome. T

      interesting point. Text adventure fictions (like "Everybody Dies" seem to offer less insight into the whole network of possibilities.

    1. As seen in the image, the last character is now within the current character and is quite confused at the situation.

      good summary of this play. Needs some analysis too.

    1. By Claire Daugherty

      This twine is great. I think that you need to set it up to tell your readers what it is and what to do --you could also link it on a separate page where it's featured as a summary.

    2. Girl's Day Out

      plural possessive!

    1. When someone is involved or immersed in not just a game but any work they are going to get so much more out of it. Girl's Day Out may not be a video game, but it has a similar effect of engaging the reader with the slow reveal of a shocking murder, lack of sound and lack of color. 

      this connection is good. You need to expand the discussion to consider how this slow reveal presents surfaces and depths (?) in ways similar to how play situations allow both superficial entertainment and opportunities to explore values.

    2. No description available.

      needs a caption and citation

    1. Some attention to design on this page is needed. An image or more. white space.

      I'd also like to see some attention to how this focus gives some insight into the works exhibited. A few sentences could do that kind work.

    1. regardless of the positions we hold.

      I think this video clip is great--it's not clear how it's connected to the discussion--a pointer in the text (See video clip below) would be helpful.

    2. es

      syntax

    1. The theme of the game was meant to respond the accusation that calling for diversity and feminism in the game has ruined games. Through the delibrate utilization of tone and dictions with sarcastic connotation, Dietrich Squinkifer has elevated the game to a new leval that projects some serious social issues reflected from the tension between gamers and the identification of a game.

      you need to cite the author's and editors' introductions to Quing Quest on the ELC--you're paraphrasing and without a citation, your comments border on plagiarism.

    1. This video is a demonstration of the reader getting rid of the words they do not want in the poem.

      the video might be large for readability

    1. An image on the page would be very helpful to set up the chapter. You also need your name on every page you wrote.

    1. Alessandra Padula

      This author and the one below should be in the works cited page

    2. ."

      you need to integrate this quotation more thoroughly--it's not really meaningful in the context of your discussion until you make it so in writing.

    1. Continue onward to learn about Orange Sweatshirt

      needs a link to the works cited as well

    2. ).

      You need to include examples of these endings to give this page some body and to demonstrate careful work with images.

    1. relationship.

      see page note by clicking on page notes above

    2. Great focus on this page. Animation works with more that words or tones!

    1. Façade is an

      Information about the author/programmer, date, and platform is needed here as well.

    1. A collaboratively written introduction page that includes all your names and that introduces the theme, approach, and the insights offered by your collectively curated exhibit.Indicates the titles, authors/designers and dates of the works in the exhibit.Tells the reader how to navigate through the book.Sets forth a table of contents (or list of tags)

      This should be edited out of the final copy.

    1. Video Games of the Oppressed

      essay titles go in quotation marks

      I think also that to make this concept of audience/story separation work. you need to explain more carefully what that means in Frasca's essay and it "CG"

    1. No description available.

      you need a caption!

      You should also limit your video clips to a manageable time (30 seconds to 2 minutes absolute maximum)

    1. Also, sorry for everything being bolded. Scalar wouldn't let me change it after I copied and pasted from my Google Doc.

      Sometimes Scalar imports source code from other programs in weird ways. You can go into the source code on the editing box of each page and delete unwanted attributes from the code.<br> I did this on the conclusion page.

    1. .

      good explanation of this work's mechanic. It would be effective to include some specific textual examples either through images or quoting a particular generation.

    2. spewn

      strewn (or do you mean vomited?)

    1. Early generational A.I. attempting to generate poetry

      needs a citation (whose work? whose screencast?)

      How does this video support your summary?

    1. real world differently.

      I like how you make the works into a sequence to look at different facets of the term idealism.

      The page needs your names, an image, some attention to design (e.g. paragraph breaks) and an indication of how one navigates the book.

    2. Evolution

      All the works should be in quotation marks (for short works) or italicized (for longer works)

    1. The subtle layers in this illustration show the unrealistic body expectations society holds for women, and how anorexia can force people to starve themselves in an effort to try and reach these standards. 

      see page note

    2. I don't know that you need to repeat the information contained in the annotations of the image --the annotation do a lot of work. It would be more useful here to consider how the design works either to convey meaning or perhaps how anorexia /eating disorders are often portrayed

    1. , "a player's available choices can express a particular understanding of the world, such as the extent to which fate either is in the hands of individuals or societies" (1).

      interesting connection!

      Some additional explanation of the quotation itself (context and purpose) would be effective here.

    1. This use of combined visual and media elements in the “Loss Undersea” also serves as an example of how a work of electronic literature fits the genre definition constructed by Electronic Literature Organization, or the ELO.

      what's this definition?

    2. The work shows how electronic literature is essentially a “hopeful monster” in terms of its construction, since this image alone, and the entirety of “ Lost Undersea” for that matter, is an amalgamation of a multitude of technological backgrounds, expertisis, and forms (Hayles).

      interesting connection!

    1. http://groups.csail.mit.edu/icelab/content/loss-undersea

      the link should be hyperlinked.

      Use paragraph breaks to add some space and pacing into this large block of text.

    2. All in all, the work depicts the loss of humanity, or the loss of oneself, that takes place as a result of the experiences faced in everyday society. It portrays the ongoing struggle for happiness faced on a daily basis, and in turn, the constraints that modern society puts on an individual.

      some specifics would be helpful here--what experieinces or constraints does this work specifically deal with?

  9. Nov 2019
    1. Their stories begin to become unheard and when they are not heard, they are no longer relevant.

      unpack this claim as part of the effect or the argument of Daniel's work.

    2. After a while, another quote will appear, however, soon the same thing happens where it disappears. 

      is this paragraph referring to the video? That's not clear

    1. In prison, the guards can strip search you whenever they want because they have the power. Inmates have no power over anything, let alone what they want to be when they get out. 

      Good discussion or the image. Interesting that we see both inside and outside stories simultaneously in the image.

    1. is an interactive literature c

      you might be interested to know that PS was built in Scalar.

    1. ScreencastScalar URLhttp://scalar.usc.edu/works/elucidate-e-literature-/how-motions-works (version 1)Source URLhttps://youtu.be/3KTJBmV9iuI (video/YouTube)dcterms:titleHow Motions Worksdcterms:descriptionScreencastView asRDF-XML, RDF-JSON, or HTML

      you need a citation here and also a caption. The video frame should probably also be bigger so that the detail you speak of is visible

    1. In this way this piece is almost the direct revers of the effect in Robert Covers "Heart Suit" in which the power play that occurs lies in the fact that the story remains the same no matter how the reader moves the pages around rather than the in the story changing despite the illusion of structured choice. I

      I don't understand. You need to slow down and spell out the comparison you're making.

    1. Use paragraph breaks to avoid giant blocks of text and to guide your reader through the parts of this intro

    1. "The Mind's Eye", by Oliver Sacks, taking on the perspective of a blind man, https://www.amazon.com/Minds-Eye-Oliver-Sacks/dp/0307473023 (access to the entire novel from Amazon).

      here it would be most useful to quote or paraphrase a passage and to integrate that into your own discussion of this particular moment in "My hands"

    1. This image immediately alerts the reader that something bad is going to happen to the narrator. 

      how so? I don't see the image as independently portentous.

    1. Whether it’s LGBTQ+ rights, citizenship, income inequality, or even the basic human dignities of life and self-ownership, social justice is the broad term for what it is to bring light and right into these societal wrongs.

      it would be effective here to set up the injustices that your selected works address.

    2. Theme looks good. I'd like more specificity on how the selected works promote social justice or display injustice.

      You also need all your names on the page.

    1. At Play", that games and other works of New Media can and should contain values and expose the reader to said values in an attempt to cause them to focus and question their own values and morals. Reverte does this by creating a narrative built around mental illness and self-image, causing the reader to question their own sense of self-image and anxieties.

      nice point!

    1. The words at the top of the screen saying "It wasn't good enough". Floating around her are the self-deprecating words that her anxiety whispers into her ears letting her know she wasn't good enough.

      it would be good to include images to illustrate this description

    2. Interesting that the figure in this image has no head.

    1. these images are necessary as they truly emphasize the feeling that Reverte is trying to convey.

      What is the story that this work tells? Is it a documentary or a narrative? Where is it placed and for whom?

    2. ANAD

      what doed ANAD stand for?

    1. ”,

      needs a tag (p#).<br> The quotation needs more integration to show how "industry norms" fit in with the complex layers you're pointing to in "Dawn"

    1. Dawn,

      a link to the work would be useful here.

      How does one navigate this work?

    1. These experiments such as stem cell research and human genetic engineering will harm test subjects, but will result in saving millions of more lives.

      interesting--such experiments are a form of "play" with human genetics. Would you consider "The Lobotomy" a kind of game?

    1. .

      for you, is this breaking the rules of sentence mechanics liberating or is it a kind of memorial?

    1. which

      what does this pronoun refer to?

    2. then, if you ever try to click again, nothing happens.  you are locked into the storyline, a mere passenger with no way to do anything against the switching slides of the story pop-up

      nicely put

    1. sub-genres of social justice and community.  it

      what genre is this work? Is it a documentary? Social justice and community are topics or issues--not really genres

    1. Works cited should be ordered alphabetically. You seem also to be missing all the primary works.