1,856 Matching Annotations
  1. Apr 2020
    1. After observing my first week, I advocated for my developed skills from previous rotations and provided feedbac

      After observing for one week, I felt confident in my treatment skills and I provided feedback to my instructor that ....

    1. With this information and the underserved population I frequently worked with (children 6-12 with a TBI), I decided to do my inservice on developing a Disorders of Consciousness (DoC) program for pediatric populations.

      reverse this. Start with I decided to do.....populations based on this information and knowing the needs of the underserved....TBI).

    2. Through the pediatric hospital I did my second level II rotation at, the provided monthly CEU's during lunch

      The pediatric hospital, where I completed my second level II rotation, offered monthly CEU courses during lunch.

    1. This variety of exposure helped me to accurately discharge plan, seeing first hand the level of care provided, and helped me to gather a tool-box to carry over services to a variety of settings

      This is another sentence with multiple different subjects. Please revise. perhaps "Having first hand exposure to these diverse settings helped me to create effective discharge plans and added new knowledge and skills to my OT tool-box".

    2. transfers in order to only receive periodic help with ADLs and family hasn't been

      transfers, she would only have periodic help with ADL's, and her family had not been educated on ...

    1. Because this individual made such an impact on my life, I have recently started working with local homeless organizations and educating on specific needs for the special needs homeless population and problem solving ways to get the resources for proper preventative care for this population.

      this is a very long sentence. Consider revising it into two smaller sentences. perhaps end the first around homeless organizations. also watch for changes in verb tense.

  2. kelsiewasilukot.weebly.com kelsiewasilukot.weebly.com
    1. a special interests of

      I have special interests in pediatrics and in home modification. OR I am most interested in the field of pediatrics and performing home modifications.

    1. She is only 59 years old with cognition intact and well enough aware to know she was not being treated with respect or taken care of fully

      revise, this sentence is not well constructed.

    2. One opportunity I found on numerous occasions to advocate for and represent the unique perspective of occupational therapy was when

      I had opportunity on numerous occasions to advocate for and represent the unique perspective of occupational therapy when.....

    1. therapy and then it spiraled from there into needing to lay down and over-working himself

      therapy. He would then become focused on lying down and work himself into a state of mental and physical exhaustion.

    2. Especially for the kiddos with sensory processing dysfunction, there are a lot of preparatory methods and treatment approaches that are beneficial for the kiddos that have

      For children with sensory processing disorder, there are many beneficial preparatory methods and treatment approaches that need to be incorporated into play. ( do not use pet names for clients in documentation)

    3. Overall, the risk of stepping out and being confident in the knowledge I had was very scary and intimidating, but ultimately successful and rewarding

      revise. possibly " It was scary and intimidating to step out of my comfort zone and trust my knowledge and skills, but ultimately very rewarding....

    4. sessions and "jumping in" so to speak in their developed routines of coming to therapy and working with their trusted therapist(s). 

      sessions. (revise this last part as it doesn't seem to link to your theme of using your strength of relationship building..)

    5. As evidenced by successful completion and passing grades of both fieldwork responsibilities, I demonstrated the ability to give timely and constructive feedback

      consider. I demonstrated the ability....feedback evidenced by successfully completing and passing both fieldwork rotations. (include a snapshot of one of your feedback forms)

    1. noticed varying levels of involvement and engagement regarding parents, some being influenced by religious

      noticed the level of involvement and engagement of parents can be influenced by religious or spiritual beliefs.

  3. houstynloosier.weebly.com houstynloosier.weebly.com
    1. RESUME 

      Your resume should be revised. Don't include career goals or objectives. Also GPA and student honors should be moved to the leadership and professional memberships. Add a section for Research/ Scholarship and put your EBP poster/ project in there.

  4. houstynloosier.weebly.com houstynloosier.weebly.com
    1. He did not get a login since he was only there for two weeks, so I shared mine with him

      This is a major HIPAA violation! You can never share a login or password. Omit this sentence! Consider revising this paragraph to emphasize mentorship and not discussing patient information or data.

    2. taught him all the tools I knew for him

      revise( you cant teach tools. you can teach a person to use a tool or to build a tool) possibly " provided him with the tools and resources necessary for him"

    3. but if we feel as though there are areas where he/ she can improve, we can keep the patient longer.

      but we can keep them longer if we feel there are areas in which they can still improve.

    4. I will present the schedule on Monday to my educator to see if approves of the changes

      Did she approve? This should be your final reflection of the fieldwork experience.