1,769 Matching Annotations
  1. Apr 2020
    1. very honest by saying

      honestly say

    2. I have found that I have been

      I have been

    3. Further, I feel as though

      omit. start with "Sometimes as a student..."

    4. was

      it was

    5. safely, therefore every minute counts of the 3 hours of therapy.

      safely. Therefore, every minute of their three hours of therapy matters.

    6. For my pediatric rotation specifically, several of our clients

      Many of our pediatric clients

    7. and

      . I

    8. ns

      sessions, so when I am documenting,

    9. Further,

      I was

    10. the amount of toys available to use for therapy was very limited and I had to still effectively provide treatment for the child by using creativity.

      there were few toys available to use, and I had to be creative in order to provide effective treatment.

    11. job and with

      job. With

    12. s a

      areas, and

    13. one picture link is broken.

    14. oming and I feel as though as I continue with my practice, I will continue to grow in the professional aspect

      coming. I feel I will continue to grow in the ....

    15. very natural

      naturally (adverb agreement)

    16. b

      job,

    17. patients

      patient's

    18. Also, every

      Every week,

    19. all

      omit

    20. b

      , because

    21. she

      the PT? or the fieldwork educator?

    22. I took over my fieldwork educator's caseload so

      "After I took over my fieldwork educator's caseload, I communicated and ..."

    23. enew these memberships every year and

      omit. Start with "I plan to stay in..."

    24. as I complete my final fieldwork rotation as well as when I enter into my practice

      omit (this is implied )

    25. There are several ways I plan to fulfill commitments in my future as a practitioner such as being a life long learner and keeping up with continuing education hours even if that means taking courses after I have met the criteria for the number of hours I am expected to get.

      revise. This is too long a sentence. You could simply start with "I plan to be a lifelong learner and I am committed to learning about my profession, even if that means taking...

    26. medica

      the healthcare professions. or in our profession.

    27. is writing a progress note

      Makensie, I begin to struggle here with your train of thought. You start with this "writing a progress note" as advocacy. Then you describe insurance denying visits due to lack of progress (that is a valid decision unless there are unusual circumstances). You then make their case by stating family and client non-compliance with therapy. Your better argument here would be 1. client has need 2. services can be helpful 3. how you modified POC to increase compliance 4. why further services are cost-effective long-term (more independent, fewer hosp stays) Also, you shift from past to present tense through the end of the paragraph.

    28. insurance was reluctant to approve her for visits because they say she isn't making progress.

      her insurance company kept denying additional visits due to lack of progress.

    29. the deficits listed above

      his deficits.

    30. and it

      . It was

    31. s it correlated with the child's age level.

      clarify? was the child given the assessment because it was age appropriate? were the results that the child scored age appropriate?

    32. n

      ,

    33. doesn't mean they wouldn't benefit

      (double negative) rephrase. omit "just because" i.e. A child may score at.....assessment, but still benefit ....

    34. evaluations because when

      evaluations. When you perform...

    35. Unfortunately, on multiple occasions, we are

      We are often put... (unfortunately) is a victimizing word here where you appear to be disadvantaged. Quite the opposite, you are the advocate!

    1. because she was able to understand

      , because she understood

    2. while standing at t

      on the mat

    3. of how MOHO is used is

      when MOHO was used was when

    4. ,

    5. g

      thing,

    6. ,

    7. and on most days, we

      stroke. Most days we would ....

    8. she had a goal set based on her evaluation to address visual memory,

      her treatment goal was focused on visual memory,

    9. and I

      , and I

    10. to

      in order to

    11. ,

    12. the

      omit

    13. and as we know, play is a child's

      . We know that play is.....

    14. ,

    15. and he

      . He

    16. activities he did that became much easier for him after his

      activities that became easier for him as his ....

    17. my sessions with him, I would try to

      During our sessions I would repeat...

    18. ,

    19. at times

      omit

    20. , therefore,

      . Therefore,

    21. to give them

      , to give him

    22. questions and

      questions. She thanked me....

    23. had

      supervised

    24. s

      questions,

    25. another therapist other than my fieldwork educato

      different (simplify)

    26. is, for example, I had a

      was the

    27. ducators as well as other team members know

      educators, as well as other team members, know

    28. r so this occupation is

      together, so this occupation was

    29. is

      was

    30. do e

      do,

    31. because he talked with me about

      and he told me

    32. how he wanted

      his desire to

    33. about

      omit

    34. caregivers and it seems as though several

      caregivers. However, some clients....

    35. is something that is so

      are

    36. as

      as a result of my advocacy. (omit " her therapy session ended and i left the room.)

    37. , she

      . She

    38. verbalize things

      consider. "convey information"

    39. and feel

      and I feel

    40. nd

      and with clients

    41. However, you become very optimistic and appreciative

      It is unclear how you become optimistic. Do you mean "You learn to appreciate the individual and understand their lifestyle choices."?

    42. environment so,

      environment. So,

    43. the different cultures each client represents.

      how culture influences each client differently.

    44. experience

      experience,

    1. evel II Fieldwork Experience EncompassHealth RehabHospital—North|Memphis, TN | Inpatient Rehab| January-March2020 High Hopes Pediatric Therapy | Monroe, LA| Pediatric Outpatient | September-December2019LevelI Fieldwork Experience Therapy Hut | Cordova, TN | Pediatric Outpatient| September 2018•Implemented pediatric OT evaluation, therapeutic stretching techniques, and the Peabody Developmental Motor Skills assessment. St. Francis Hospital | Memphis, TN | Inpatient Acute|March2019

      make a single heading "Clinical Experience" then list in reverse order by date (newest first)

    2. on

      omit the GPA.

    3. Objective

      Career objectives should not be in a resume

    4. Project

      Label this section Scholarship/ Research

    1. of

      for

    2. I believe

      omit

    3. provide

      become

    4. provides

      is

    5. with hopes to contribute research in future conferences, specifically on my

      and I plan to conduct and present research on DoC programs at future conferences.

    6. proceeding Vice President by

      incoming Vice President, and by

    7. the most

      omit

    8. so

      , so

    9. concerns and

      concerns. I took time to go over.....

    10. we would work so closely

      Because we frequently worked together, I was able to provide feedback....

    11. co-treat and having

      co-treat. Having

    12. , or

      and

    13. interventions, however

      interventions and modified them to be

    14. a high level of evidence, however was

      high level evidence, however it was

    15. to best support the needs of these clients, however, would consider the population.

      unclear. revise this and fix/remove the fragment "would consider the population"

    16. evidence based

      evidence-based

    17. When working with the pediatric population, there often wasn't research pertaining specifically to this population when dealing with medically complicated clients.

      revise. perhaps "There was a lack of research data related to pediatric clients with medical complexity"

    18. return an outcome

      recovery

    19. place

      place,

    20. to

      in order to

    21. many of our patients were in, however,

      of these patients. However,

    22. provided

      allowed me to complete

    23. that

      and

    24. in

      as an OT

    25. Upon

      After

    26. a

      omit

    27. is when

      was

    28. this

      omit

    29. pants

      pants,

    30. bathroom and with each step,

      bathroom, and with each step she

    31. With PT, we helped

      The PT and I helped

    32. is when I was when I was

      was

    33. have before because I have

      have otherwise, because I had

    34. hospital

      hospital,

    35. to

      into

    36. 2nd

      second

    37. have a unique perspective with

      develop a unique relationship with

    38. of

      during

    39. balance a

      schedule a

    40. time

      time effectively.

    41. with

      omit

    42. overall

      omit

    43. With

      By doing

    44. much opportunity

      many opportunities

    45. my weakness

      one of my weaknesses (object/predicate agreement)

    46. After working on this a week

      A week later,

    47. Late on in my

      During my

    48. hrough

      at

    49. After observing my first week, I advocated for my developed skills from previous rotations and provided feedbac

      After observing for one week, I felt confident in my treatment skills and I provided feedback to my instructor that ....

    1. With this information and the underserved population I frequently worked with (children 6-12 with a TBI), I decided to do my inservice on developing a Disorders of Consciousness (DoC) program for pediatric populations.

      reverse this. Start with I decided to do.....populations based on this information and knowing the needs of the underserved....TBI).

    2. I did my rotation at

      where I completed my internship had...

    3. And often, these

      These patients often wait...

    4. or

      and

    5. s

      are

    6. although out

      although it is typically out of... (some OT's have advanced training on SCI or pulmonary units)

    7. educate

      educate clients

    8. Through the pediatric hospital I did my second level II rotation at, the provided monthly CEU's during lunch

      The pediatric hospital, where I completed my second level II rotation, offered monthly CEU courses during lunch.

    1. Good!

    2. making, from the client, caregivers, and using my clinical expertise. 

      making, incorporating the client's and caregiver's needs and using my clinical expertise.

    3. This variety of exposure helped me to accurately discharge plan, seeing first hand the level of care provided, and helped me to gather a tool-box to carry over services to a variety of settings

      This is another sentence with multiple different subjects. Please revise. perhaps "Having first hand exposure to these diverse settings helped me to create effective discharge plans and added new knowledge and skills to my OT tool-box".

    4. see

      see and

    5. about it

      omit ( about it)

    6. ,

      .

    7. incase

      in case

    8. strengths, however

      strengths. However,

    9. well as

      was (verb ageement)

    10. successful, however

      successful. However,

    11. transfers in order to only receive periodic help with ADLs and family hasn't been

      transfers, she would only have periodic help with ADL's, and her family had not been educated on ...

    12. discussed

      discuss

    13. .

      Kelsi,

      You could also add any inservices you provided on your clinicals.

    14. population is underrepresented when it comes to adapting to meet their individual needs.

      consider: population with special needs is underrepresented.

    15. Through

      By

    1. MMT

      simplify- "strength"

    2. Through

      During

    3. and

      MMT strength and measure ROM

    4. often with

      for

    5. this is an essential skil

      home, so it is essential to address.....

    6. With often only seeing

      We often see

    7. hopefully helps

      can help

    8. the more likely a client is

      the client is more likely to

    9. accustom

      accustomed

    10. Yay! a functional home program!!!!

    11. seeing him a couple days and

      After a few days of me asking...

    12. with

      "and" or "resulting in"

    13. Because this individual made such an impact on my life, I have recently started working with local homeless organizations and educating on specific needs for the special needs homeless population and problem solving ways to get the resources for proper preventative care for this population.

      this is a very long sentence. Consider revising it into two smaller sentences. perhaps end the first around homeless organizations. also watch for changes in verb tense.

    14. but

      , but

    15. situations

      situation.

    16. about a subject

      the client on a topic or strategy,

    17. on

      the client on

    18. injuries, simply just were

      injuries simply were

  2. kelsiewasilukot.weebly.com kelsiewasilukot.weebly.com
    1. a special interests of

      I have special interests in pediatrics and in home modification. OR I am most interested in the field of pediatrics and performing home modifications.

    1. myself

      I

    2. She is only 59 years old with cognition intact and well enough aware to know she was not being treated with respect or taken care of fully

      revise, this sentence is not well constructed.

    3. staff

      assistant.

    4. for anything because we are

      because we are often

    5. and

      , and

    6. in which we would go

      where we went

    7. deficits, though she had

      deficits.She maintained a positive attitude and a strong spirit.

    8. and admire so many

      learn to appreciate people.....

    9. sessions all along, and will continue

      sessions. (omit this last part) Add a statement or picture evidence.

    10. and

      omit

    11. always

      always being

    12. One opportunity I found on numerous occasions to advocate for and represent the unique perspective of occupational therapy was when

      I had opportunity on numerous occasions to advocate for and represent the unique perspective of occupational therapy when.....

    13. a push

      encouragement

    14. may or may not ever go through myself

      may not ever experience or understand.

    15. Throughout these

      Through these

    16. FWEd

      use "CI" throughout the section.

    17. o

      omit "so"

    18. mind: a 64 year-old man with dementia and I believe depression

      mind, a 64 year old gentleman with dementia and depression.

    19. I

      to

    20. life

      In both my fieldwork experiences and in my personal life,

    1. did you complete an inservice? maybe a sentence or two about that and a pic.

    2. h.

      include a photo of the team, or poster, etc.

    3. One client, in particular, comes to mind to provide a specific example.

      omit

    4. add a pic of your certificate

    1. a lot of her difficulties were behavior-related, as well

      many of her difficulties were behavior-related.

    2. A lot o

      Some of