the presentation I was given
my presentation.
4,692 Matching Annotations
- Apr 2019
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aliciarinksot.weebly.com aliciarinksot.weebly.com
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much
many
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f vision
by....reading articles? how did you accomplish this?
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are
were
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may be having difficulty completing
had difficulty with.
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learn more knowledge about.
....learn more about
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function is causing the affected occupation
Can you reword, or clarify? Is it always a function? Can it also be contextual at times?
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I feel as if
Remove these words. You can start the sentence by saying, Completing these forms each week helped....
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for
during
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she
my clinical instructor
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own research
research? Consider using a less "loaded" or misleading word.
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then
unnecessary word
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OS (sequential oral sensory)
Reverse order--abbreviation in parentheses comes after
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I was able to initially observe, discuss my thought processes, begin interventions under close supervision to eventually being trusted to carry out the treatment sessions independently
I cannot understand this sentence as written--please clarify.
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would always use
I always used...
Can you give a specific example?
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I often times would refer to the American Journal of Occupational Therapy (AJOT) when attempting to learn more about an area I wanted to learn more about
Can you give a specific example?
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Within my practice,
Remove the words "Within my practice" or "in my practice" from the beginning or the end of this sentence.
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In order to remain an evidence based practitioner throughout my practice, I intend to always seek out opportunities to be a life-long learner. I will accomplish this long-term goal of mine through participating in workshops offered within my facility as well as within the community when time and scheduling allows. When seeking future employment, I will inquire about if the facility has a specific amount of money allocated toward attending CEU courses for their employees. However, if the facility does not have an allotment, I still intend to budget for the CEU courses myself. As far as pursuing additional degrees, that is not in my current plan of action. Although, I have not completely ruled it out. If I do decide to obtain my doctorate in the future, I feel as if I will wait until after I have practiced as an occupational therapist for 10 years or so. I am currently excited to start practicing as an OT so any further degree pursuits is on the back burner for now. As I build my knowledge and stay up to date with the literature and current research, I will be more equipped with the tools to provide my patients with the best possible care and treatment I am able to give.
These are great long-term goals for your future. However, none of this is relevant to show how you met this objective (past tense). What did you do as part of your advanced professional development, while in this program, to meet this standard?
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aliciarinksot.weebly.com aliciarinksot.weebly.com
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m as well.
Well done. I really applaud you taking this on! No doubt it was scary. I am so glad you wrote about it, and that it went well!
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and how my
and that my presentation
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I feel as if this example highlights
Remove the words "I feel".
This example highlights...
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herapy into practice as well as other therapists I had seen
Word order.
I was nervous considering my supervisor and other therapists in the setting were interested...
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instead of trying to self-promote myself.
In favor of self-promotion.
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careful and what appropriate methods
careful about the methods that were used to address...
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would also be
was also
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often time
frequently
or
often
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would progress
progressed
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have had multiple
I had many
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I have also been encouraged more to embrace a leadership role
I was encouraged
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(RKSTC)
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I have actively tried to increase my participation
Can you simplify this statement? Perhaps...
Throughout OT school...I actively participated in..."
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is a comment from my supervisor on my second level II fieldwork placement within the pediatric facilit
It appears to be the same screen shot used in the previous standard. It is my understanding that you can use it only once.
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ir strengths.
Please provide a specific example.
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eeded.
Can you give one specific example?
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t’s
no apostrophe
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how to use
consider revising to read: This allowed me time to really think about what I knew and apply this knowledge....
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out
about?
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even in
remove words
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this population
This sounds like a broad generalization, can you make it sound more specific?
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ncidence
? Do you mean to say incident? What type of incident?
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e.
?
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I felt
See previous comment
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ent's
grammar
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felt as if they could do more. I felt as if I could grade the interventions up more and push the clients further. I felt as if I could ma
Perhaps find a synonym for the word "felt"?
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performance within the facility
This is a very beautiful, heartfelt, and well-written reflection for this standard.
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Maintaining professionalism throughout my fieldwork experience has been something I feel I was definitely prepared for before entering into my Level II rotations.
Can you simplify this statement?
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as students
redundant
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not an easy one to say the least
Consider rewording this. Imagine the patient's family member reading this blog--it may be perceived as insulting. Perhaps the patient was having a difficult time adjusting to his new surroundings.
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tood what they were going through.
Were you told this, or is it conjecture? If you were not told this directly or indirectly, then a statement like this could potentially be insulting towards your client. You can discuss that you felt this way but recognize that it may just be your own insecurity.
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pulation
Nice. I like the way you describe the contents of the image to the reader who cannot view it.
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eatment.
Did someone actually say this?If so, tell about it to back up your statement, otherwise it's an assumption, not fact
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Although, I feel that there is always room for improvement with the area of confidence
This is not a complete sentence. Did you mean to use the word However?
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was simply a trust issue
How do you know this to be true? Or is this your assumption?
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the geriatric population
Revise to first-person language.
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frustrated behaviors occur
Using a passive voice can make the reader feel very detatched. Consider using your active voice, e.g., "I saw how easily a patient, became frustrated while trying to put on her shirt. I was also on the receiving end of angry outbursts in both settings, as when a young child spat on the floor when I asked him to collect the toys with which he had been playing".
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oth the geriatric and pediatric population.
Please use first-person language. This is a broad statement. Perhaps keep it more specific to your experiences with select patients/clients.
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6.
Consider adding a space above---breathing room!
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do
tense
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need to work
needed to work (use past tense)
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opulation was an area I was unfamiliar with
Is a population an area? Please reword.
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ife much more.
Mazal tov! Congratulations!
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responsibilities to fulfill with fieldwork
Can you state this using different words so that it doesn't sound like a repeat of the previous sentence?
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has been
was
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ne.
Can you give a specific example?
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focus
tense
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3.
Leave a space above
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nes.
Great. You may want to reference the visuals for those who cannot see the images...
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IEP
Individualized Education Plan (IEP)
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essions.
I'm curious to know, did your CI go over your recommendations before you gave them to the COTA?
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feel out the document
do you mean fill out the document?
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plans
planned
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had already wrote
grammar
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couple weeks
couple of weeks
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When performing COTA oversight, the COTA will write down
Keep it in past tense
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patient’s
no apostrophe
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aliciarinksot.weebly.com aliciarinksot.weebly.com
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with each
NIce explanation!
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become
tense
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RUE
See previous comment
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ROM
Imagine that someone who is not in the healthcare field reading this portfolio. Spell out any acronym or abbreviation and then place it in parentheses before using it the first time!
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g therapy
I love the way you described to the reader how you met this standard, rather than telling the reader to read your discussion board post. This is a great example of using the image as a visual aid to demonstrate "proof" of accomplishing this standard!
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how I built m
The photo is not an example of how you built your communication skills, but rather an example of the comments by your CI stating that you were able to communicate well with others. It is important that you summarize for the reader what the picture is about. Imagine that someone who is using a screen reader is reading this blog--the screen reader cannot "read" the image.
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Assisting each other with treatment ideas benefits both the therapy team as well as maximizes the benefits for the patients
Use past tense--this was your experience, right? Or is this hypothetical?
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This included different age groups with my clients as well
This sentence does not make sense. Please revise.
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Knowing what to say and how to comfort those clients that may have low socioeconomic status
In what context? Can you expand what you mean here?
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settings
do you mean facilities? organizations? workplaces? Can you be more specific? This is a theoretical/opinion--perhaps you should mention that this is what you learnt from your CI....how do you think an administrator would feel reading this sentence when considering hiring you for a position?
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I feel as if
You can leave these words out
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I have learned through engaging in fieldwork how much diversity affects occupational performance and the best way to treat individuals with respect while also providing the best treatment you are able to give.
This sentence needs to be broken down into two sentences or more, or needs some commas to separate the clauses. I had a hard time understanding its meaning.
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Client
Alicia, please make sure that you use consistent terminology throughout this portfolio. At times you mention client, and other times patient. I would recommend that you choose one or the other, and revise the wording throughout this beautiful APDE.
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eat
insert comma
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working
worked
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earn about as many foods as possible
learn about? or did you expose her to a wider variety?
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,
remove comma
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with
this word is unnecessary
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any primitive reflexes integrated
consider revising to read,
...did not demonstrate integration of any primitive reflexes...
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evels with socioeconomic status
I'm not sure what a "level with socioeconomic status" means. Perhaps you can find a clearer way to make this statement.
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maggiewidickot.weebly.com maggiewidickot.weebly.com
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l judgement to maintain my integrity as an OT professional.
As in many of my previous comments, please summarize the picture below. Thanks!
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for the NBCOT
Nice job! I am so proud of you!
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In the picture is me with the OT therapy team at West Florida Rehabilitation Institute.
Perhaps this sentence should come first, and elaborate on how being part of the team made you feel (in the past tense). You can cut out all of the previous sentences (except for the first one) as they are theoretical rather than based on your experience. If they are based on your own experience, use the word "I" rather than "you".
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it
grammar-remove the word
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back ground
spelling
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formance skills.
Great example of this standard!
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a elevated
an elevated
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for me
what do you mean, "for me"?
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Guillain Barre Syndrome
Guillain Barre Syndrome (GBS)
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It is important to maintain professional behavior in the work place and leave personal problems at the door when you walk in. As a student, a lot of eyes are on you watching you work your way towards becoming an entry level practitioner. Once you graduate, you often have a mentor or more experienced OT supervising you as you are getting started. Then we are set free to be independent practitioners and it will be our responsibility to make sure we maintain professionalism when we aren’t as closely watched.
True, but unnecessary to mention here. Please summarize the discussion post and use the screen shot as a visual aid for those who choose to delve deeper.
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on the table?
Great!
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through this experience
This is such a wonderful example of meeting this standard, Maggie! Again, as in my previous comments, make the reader know what the image below says--not verbatim, but a succinct summary.
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der of deadlines
I love these pictures of you, your dog, and your friend on the beach! How wonderful! Please summarize what the comments from your FW educator say!
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s into strengths
Nice, although elaborate more for those who cannot read the image.
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rehab setting
Nice job Maggie!
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When you are a student, it can be difficult to provide feedback to your fieldwork educator about their teaching styles or what they can do to enhance your learning experience. As we continue to develop into OT practitioners, we could also become fieldwork educators and be responsible for the education of a future member of the OT community. It is essential to be able to provide constructive feedback in a timely and educational manner. It is important to know how to give and receive feedback in a professional environment. In daily practice, you have to know when to give feedback to patient’s and how much you are giving to ensure they are learning and improving their skills.
True, but this is superfluous and can be discarded from this section. What is more interesting to me is your personal experience. Describe what is in the image and how it relates to this goal.
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maggiewidickot.weebly.com maggiewidickot.weebly.com
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brain injury and other neurological cases
Please change this to first-person language! Thanks.
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CBIS
?
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VA terms
I love this! Great idea. These are great, short, succinct examples of how you met this standard.
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The comment below describes my ability to effectively implement the OT domain during evaluations to establish and appropriate plan of care
What does it say about you in your own words?
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The comment below highlights opportunities seized on my first level I experienc
This piece of evidence was already used in standard 1 of this section. Do you have something different to show?
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I think it is important to be able to admit when you don’t know something but being able to utilize the appropriate resources to find the best solution to any problem.
True: can you describe how this applied to you during FW?
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Outside of the facility it is important to be a knowledgeable consumer of evidence to ensure the safety of your patient and your integrity as a therapist.
Is this sentence necessary?
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The pursuit of continued education and additional certificates/degrees are all potential opportunities that can lead you down exciting paths in the world of occupational therapy.
This seems like a superfluous statement...also, what do you want the reader to know about the images you posted below?
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I spent additional time to observe
Consider rewording: I spent additional time observing...
or
I took additional time to observe
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LTAC
Not sure what this stands for...
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maggiewidickot.weebly.com maggiewidickot.weebly.com
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erences
Maggie, this is wonderful. Again, direct the reader to the images to the right--why are they there? What would you like the reader to do after reading this block of text? What is the message in the images? What will someone who cannot see be able to glean from this?
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With all clients you must know how to interact with appropriately and respectfully in order to maintain a therapeutic relationship
Please elaborate on the example in the previous sentence (or use a different one) to demonstrate how you have accomplished this standard. Alternatively, tell the reader how the screen shots that appear to the right of the text demonstrate this standard. Imagine a complete stranger reading this blog. What do you want that person to know about the reason you placed the images on the right side of the text? What is their meaning in this context? What is the message they transmit? Imagine that someone is reading this using screen-reading software. The software cannot "read" the image!
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OT
To make this portfolio stand out and be as professional as possible, make sure that you spell out each acronym or abbreviation before you use it the first time, and then place the acronym/abbreviation in parentheses. Assume that a complete stranger who has never read about OT is reading your blog.
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Client
Maggie, this is a beautiful portfolio. However, (and you are not the only one) there is inconsistent reference to the person to whom you were providing OT: sometimes they were clients and sometimes patients. Please polish this portfolio and be consistent, or explain why you use the terms interchangeably, or describe why you use the term in one setting versus another.
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theoretical models.
Maggie, can you give a specific example of a theory or frame of reference that you used during your experiences, in your own words?
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I respect their feedback throughout their progress on what they wish to improve on to get back to their norm.
This is a long run-on sentence. Consider rewording and breaking it down into two separate sentences.
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atient's
grammar
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l my evaluation skills are becoming very well rounde
Use past tense...you're no longer there, right?
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xperience,
plural
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t they are capable of
Nice! Again, make reference to your "proof". You might choose to say something like this:
I received the rating of 'exceeds standard's on selecting motivating occupations....as evidenced by the comments from my CI shown in figure 3 to the right.
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You would also hear the response, "I've already done therapy today" when they had already worked with physical therap
Try to change the sentence in second person to first-person language. Instead of saying, "You would also hear the response...", consider "I would also hear the response..."
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5.
Formatting--insert a space to keep the look of your blog consistent and professional!
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These discussion boards highlight my passion for collaborating and problem solving to promote health and prevent disability
Are you going to make the reader read through the discussion board post? No! Summarize the point you would like to make by referencing, and providing as evidence, the discussion board posts. But please don't make the reader have to do the work!
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aintain
Grammar
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individual's
Is this singular or plural?
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densely
Not sure what you mean by this?
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laurenleiser.weebly.com laurenleiser.weebly.com
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so listed below
Excellent! But please elaborate for someone who is unable to view the images!
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their
his or her
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It
check capitalization
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they would benefit from
would be most beneficial to the client (or patient--be consistent with either)
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their
the
or
his/her
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their
See previous comment
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client’s
One or many? See the next comment
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facilities
Many or one? Should there be an apostrophe here?
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lient’s
singular or plural?
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ach client with what their needs
subject verb agreement
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mental health population I work with
please change to first-person language
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at
Remove word
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intervene with intervention
intervene with intervention? Can you rewrite this to make more sense grammatically?
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mpower
tense
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the
unnecessary word
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the clients
them
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eight bearing/weight shifting with clients who have experienced a stroke etc
Is this the best theory to use in clients who have had a stroke? I believe there is a better one.
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lastly
Capitalization
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research articles to provide to my CI
Did you provide her with the articles to read for herself, or did you provide a verbal summary of the article?
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provide
provide whom?
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I found this to be challenging due to their confusion of my schedule and time spent with each therapist
What do you think the CIs would think if they were to read this sentence?
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to provide to
for
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During my level II FW rotation in mental health, making the transition from a fast paced setting to a slow paced setting was challenging for my first week.
Consider revising: During the first week of my level II FW rotation in mental health, making the transition...was challenging.
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of
Remove
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y OT describing how the client has been applying their therapy skills towards common issues such as anger management, emotional regulation,, etc., OT then represents the unique role we play in the patient’s life and the progress we are helping the client make to move toward independent living and removing their barriers to engage in occupational performance
Please correct the tense
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My CI and I will then give our client a good report if they have been engaging and working towards their goals in therapy groups
Please revise to past tense
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is
tense
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MD’s, RN’s
grammar
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client’s
grammar
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if interested in future research or application of research found
Don't understand this clause....can you please reword to clarify? Thanks!
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to reference
Redundant.
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laurenleiser.weebly.com laurenleiser.weebly.com
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ren Leiser's iPhone
What do these images show?
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laurenleiser.weebly.com laurenleiser.weebly.com
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in the acute care setting
Summarize succinctly what it says, for those who want the gist, rather than have to strain their eyes reading the image! And for those who cannot see the image!
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my below discussion board
See in my discussion board post below...summarize! Think of someone using a screen reader to read this beautiful portfolio...but images cannot be "read"!
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laurenleiser.weebly.com laurenleiser.weebly.com
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below discussion board
I appreciate how you go on to describe what the image shows. You summarized what it says on the discussion board, so that the reader doesn't have to go and read through the entire thing to get the gist of it. This is a good example of the correct way to use an image as a visual aid.
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See below
See previous comment about referencing images. Describe what the reader should look for. Perhaps something like this:
The image below shows five examples of questions used in the education group conducted on Valentine's day.
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ugh a team approach!
Lauren, imagine that someone is using a screen-reader to read this portfolio. Images, such as the one below, cannot be "read". In your description of how you met this standard, summarize to the reader what the image is meant to convey. Do the work for the reader--don't make him/her have to dig through the image to find the relevant information. The image is great "proof"--but is only a visual aid, and needs to be described in your words.
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Practice
In summary, I enjoyed reading about your professional growth and your interesting experiences. You made me feel very proud to be your mentor along this journey! Thanks for allowing me to join you.
Regarding writing style, I made lots of comments to you to polish this beautiful portfolio. Others may want to read it and I would like it to sparkle just like your personality.
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Client
Lauren, please keep consistent your reference to the person you were working with: patient or client. You frequently switched between the two words throughout this APDE, and it would be best if you used the same term throughout.
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maggiewidickot.weebly.com maggiewidickot.weebly.com
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a professional setting
Don't make the reader do the work to figure it out! Please summarize, and use the screen shot just as a point of reference, or visual aid.
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nsiderate manner
Very important! It's great that you are aware of areas of weakness and that you accept it about yourself. Awareness, acceptance, action--those are the steps to take to change one's behaviors! You are certainly aware and accepting, and I believe wholeheartedly that you are taking the right actions to change.I am proud of your growth!
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within the hospital
Summarize what it says!
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By remaining ethical and keeping accurate records can be beneficial in the event of an audit by AOTA or other governing bodies
This sentence does not make sense.
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You
Rather than write in second person, keep the focus on yourself--this is your portfolio!
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d needs
Perhaps you can provide a specific example to highlight this standard?
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This comment from my fieldwork educator highlights my ability to work independently and effectively during high census times and feedback provided from other OT’s on the team
This long sentence does not make sense to me. Perhaps break it down into shorter segments.
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“how very OT of you, thinking outside of the box!”
The correct formatting would look like one of these:
..the speech therapist chuckled at my answers and said, "How very OT of you, thinking outside of the box!"
or
..the speech therapist chuckled at my answers and said, "...how very OT of you, thinking outside of the box!"
Do you see the difference?
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team as I became a reliable and dependable part of the team.
Nicely done!
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is
in?
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your
Mine?
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5.
Leave a space above
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on all other criteria
I am SO VERY PROUD of you! Maggie, this makes me smile! :)
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situations
Make it easier for the reader to know what you mean by specifying and summarizing what it actually says in the comments.
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One scenario that stands out to me was in my last few weeks of my inpatient rehab level II fieldwork experience
This is a great segue!
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CVA
Acronym!
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During my educator’s absence was the due date to my final project/in-service presentation
This is a clunky-reading sentence. Perhaps change the word order and start with ...
The due date for my final project was during...
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patient’s
grammar
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Daily commitments such as showing up on time, spending extra time with patients or documenting, or providing a helping hand with a patient during a session or transfer.
This is not a complete sentence.
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sional community.
Why does this link to someone else's blog?
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client’s
grammar--no need for an apostrophe here
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disability
Is this also an insurance or government agency?
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are encouraged
were--keep it in the past tense--soon you will no longer be a student!
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maggiewidickot.weebly.com maggiewidickot.weebly.com
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resume, and more
This makes me beam with pride!
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