740 Matching Annotations
  1. Dec 2018
    1. elders

      Odd expression - seems rather old-fashioned.

    2. o the pizza place in search of these children. As a result of this man not being educated on how to tell whether a website was fake or real, he got arrested. Thankfully in this case nobody was hurt, but if people don’t get the right education on digital literacy then occurrences like this one will continue to happen. This just shows that with all the fake websites out there, everyone needs to be educated on digital literacy. Society shouldn’t assume that one group of people automatically know more about the internet than the other because realistically everyone needs to learn more about the internet. If we want to make a change, then everyone need to ditch the terms digital native and digital immigrant and assume that everyone has the same understanding of the internet and then go on to learn from there.

      Interesting and promising. Try to revise, polish, and connect back to Boyd (or the other texts) in more detail.

    3. “[w]ikipedia isn’t simply a product of knowledge; it’s also a record of the process by which people share and demonstrate knowledge.” and “[w]ikipedia can be a phenomenal educational tool, but few educators I met knew how to use it constructively.” (Boyd 188-189)

      Good - but connect back to Caulfield. search his book.

    4.  “difference between a web browser and the internet”

      OK - but this is unrelated to the your discussion of Caulfield. Find better connections.

    5. extends Boyds argument by providing education and tips about how to navigate websites

      How to evaluate unfamiliar sites

    6. Simple skills like knowing when something is biased or fake, understanding algorithms, and knowing how to fact check are important things that most teenagers have no idea how to do.

      Good - develop this. Explain in more detail what she thinks young people need to know.

    7. Being born into a society where technology surrounds you can lead to many assumptions that the youth has all the skills and knowledge about it.

      Revise - too broad and vague.

    8. nk children know everything about technology because she “often found that teens must fend for themselves to make sense of how technologies work and how information spreads.” This shows why society should not place the youth and the elders in different categories when it comes to social media because in reality, children don’t know much about technology at all according to some studies Boyd created that will be talked about in the next paragraph. Overall Boyd disagrees with the terms digital native and digital immigrants whereas Zur and Walker think digital immigrants and digital natives are supposed to be divided into separate categories.

      Promising, but need to refine and make more precise account of differences.

    9. virtue of their being born around technology, others do not have a knack for technology and computers, or even an interest or inclination to learn more.” This shows that they expanded on these two terms

      I don't follow - seems to support Boyd?

    10. by showing all the elements to digital natives and digital immigrants

      Make account of claim more precise

    11. Therapy in the Digital Era

      Italics

    12. I will also look at Boyds claim that the youth needs to develop digital literacy skills and expand on that with an outside source that explains in detail the skills that all y

      Mabe make this part of intro - as an issue. She wants us to think abotu how we talk about digital literacy as it impacts how we teach it and organize policy.

    13. atives decreases equality among the people because we assume that young people know everything about technology that we disinclude them from all learning opportunities.

      Refine account of her argument

    14. Danah

      Boyd

    15. “ It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens”

      MLA

    16. Were you born in a time where technology always existed or in a time where you lived without it?

      Too broad. Technology has been wth us for milennia.

    1. automatically informed” (Boyd 177). It is dangerous because the less effort we put into teaching and developing skills involving technology the bigger the divide will grow. CNN describes the dispute between digital natives and digital immigrants as a “war” (CNN). War is an extreme way to describe digital literacy. War is a dire situation in which lives are lost, property is destroyed, and economies are ruined. While digital literacy is not as extreme as actual war it is comparable.

      This seems a long wayt from a complete body paragraph, and it isn't clear how you will connect the CNN story to Boyd.

    2. Although The label digital native is appropriate it also creates some misconceptions ab

      Boyd argues.....

      Make sure to stress you are giving an account of Boyd's claims.

    3. Natives and they “The c

      words missing?

    4. technology.

      All human societies use technology.

    5. In this essay I am going to be analyzing the excerpt from Boyd as well as comparing her excerpt to other works.

      See the prompt and try to echo the language used in it.You are going to use outside sources to extend, illustrate, complicate, etc., Boyd.

    6. A divide is starting to form between the technologically advanced and those who are not

      This relates rather vaguely to Boyd, but again it's very broad and "technology" remains highly ambiguous.

    7. technological revolution, technology

      Could clarify. "Technology" = everything, from the wheel, to toasters, to quantum computing.

    1. society are enormous problems and saying that being able to understand technology can solve these is a huge presumption. It takes Boyd’s argument and takes it to the next level. Also in, “Learning to Bridge the Digital Divide,” James writes that “men in mid-life whose work skills are no longer in demand, whose modest educational achievements have left them ill-equipped even to want to become computer literate.”

      These connections seem too general. James appears to be saying it is hard to retrain older workers. That is a long, long way from Boyd's argument.

      Perhaps consider using someone like Caulfield to explore how critical digital literacy might be taught (thus extending B).

    2. They do this by taking Boyd’s claim which is generally about “digital natives” and expanding it to all people. This puts the argument into a broader scope making it seem more urgent now that it affects all people, not just the teenagers who grew up with technology. It also makes the argument more effective by placing the blame for the digital divide on the users of the technolog

      See also https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/04/technology/digital-divide-us-fcc-microsoft.html

      You need to first explain Boyd's claim about digital inequality in detail, and present quotations from her, then explain the outside source, present quotations, and explain the connections back to Boyd.

    1.  He states that, “its contributors can choose which area they want to write about, which, in theory, means they only produce content where they are most qualified to do so.” This shows how Wikipedia could actually have a lot of factual

      This seems a rather vague connection. it is also very brief. You need to find more, better connetions, or choose a different text that examines the educational potential of wikipedia.

    2. gets a bad look

      revise

    3. ut people’s lives are increasingly made by software systems and algorithms.” Some things that people decide in their lives are based off of stuff that they find off the Internet. People want reassurance with things in their lives, and a way to do this is by using search engines like Google to see how they should perform certain tasks.  This extends the idea of how algorithms affect the thinking of the youth and the decisions that they make on a regular basis through what they search up on search engines.

      Good - but this needs a lot more development. Talk in more detail about how the Primer extends and illustrates Boyd's work. For example, what are some other problems and issues raised about algorith,s?

    4. ulfield extends on how the youth should work the websites they are using. Another outside source is by Caulfield which is titled “Using Google Reverse Image Search”, which maps out perfectly how to tell the background of a picture and the source for where it c

      Good - but there is more you could say about the tips Caulfield presents.

    5. mple, he says to follow four moves which ar

      This is for fact checking web sites you are unfamliiar with.

    6. chapter from a book by Mike Caulfield titled “Four Strategies” extends on this idea of critical digital literacy by offering ways for the youth to use proper website analysis.

      Well put.

    7. are questions that the youth should be asking themselves while searching on different websites for informatio

      Good.

    8. In this paper, I will present Boyd’s main claims and the ways that outside sources extend the main claims that Boyd makes

      Good

    9. expands on the ideas of how the youth today are digital native

      No, she cricizes this rhetoric and argues it is a damaging way of understanding digital literacy.

    10. Because teens grew up in a world in which the Internet has always existed, many adults assume that youth automatically understand new technologies.

      Good

    1. nlike “literacy” and the other outside source, this article was made for every age, with no specific audience, just to try to inform how and in what ways people are manipulated on the internet from a day to day basis. Throughout Rose-Stockwells article, he highlights the commotion about digital natives, and shows off that nobody can outthink technology like what the older generations expect the youth to be able to do.

      Interesting, bu you need to link Rose-Stockwell to Boyd. So present a claim Boyd makes, plus a quotation to illustrate it, then explain how Rose-Stockwell's work extends and illustrates Boyd, and present quotes that show this.

    2. “​Every time yo

      Introduce all quotations.

    3. e is Why students Can’t Google Their Way to Truth by Sam Wineburg and Sarah McGrew. Appealing to logos, the article shows off the digital native generation does not know what’s reliable from what, with many confused. One study Boyd focuses in on that claim that the youth do not know how to use the internet correctly to find out if the source is a reliable or not. The study conducted happened with Stanford students(some of the smartest youth in the USA) proved that even one of the most prestigious schools still have student that cant decipher if the source is reliable or not. “One task asked students to determine the trustworthiness of material on the websites of two organizations: the 66,000 mem

      This is promising. You should line up the claim from Boyd, give a quote from Boyd, then explain how Wineburg and McGrew extend and illustrate Boyd. Use quotes from M and W that you can link back to Boyd.

    4. When Boyd uses ethos in this manner, she makes an extremely strong persuasive claim. B

      This is good, but the paper isn't about analyzing strategies, so this isn't really needed.

    5. Boyd trys to use logos with this quote, which isn’t as persuasive as her ethos, due to the fact that she didn’t give us enough info, or legit studies. She only really says she met with a lot of teens.

      Again - this isn't the point of the paper.

      I suggest you read the prompt for paper 3.

    6. n’t supposed to be seen. If Boyd would have claimed that the term digital native came from Barlow, her audience could even be persuaded stronger about that term coming off as negative.

      This section is meant to analyze an outside source and explain how it extends, illustrates, complicates etc. Boyd.

    7. Boyd does not want her audience(which is predominantly parents) to not fear  “children’s natural-born knowledge”, a fake fact coming from Barlow’s work

      Not really her main point. Try to capture why she thinks the rhetoric of the digital native is problematic - what does it result in, and why?

    8. Barlow is a well known poet who came up with the term “native” versus “immigrant”, which basically means the eople born into the digital world are the natives, while the parents are essentially immigrants.

      Don't focus on Barlow. Focus on Boyd's argument. Barlow is a figure from the past (and from the band The Grateful Dead).

    9. Boyd says, “The suggestion that many take from Barlow’s proclamation is that adults should fear children’s supposedly natural born knowledge

      You haven't said who Barlow is. This isn't a useful quote to use. Try to find quotes that capture the essence of her claims, not quotes that are nearest the beginning of the text.

    10. negative

      Problematic.

    11. I will go over Boyd and the other articles, strengthening Boyds claims with research and data given, also highlighting concerns and assumptions.

      Try to use the langauge of the prompt. That is, talk about how you will extend, illustrate, or compliate etc. Boyd's text.

    12. hy Students Can’t google Their Way to Truthby Sam Wineburg and Sarah McGrew, and This Is How Your Fear and Outrage are Being Sold for Profitby

      See MLA citation guidelines - article titles are in quotation marks (book titles in italics).

    13. ave some crazy views to some

      Not sure why this is included - I am unaware of anyone who thinks she is crazy.

    14. this generation doesn’t know to take in all of the information being given, even if they know how to use all of these sites, and finally, the term digital natives is completely unfair.

      This doesn't capture her main claims accurately. Go back to the text.

    15. ople believe adults should fear kids’ natural ability of knowledge

      She doesn't claim this (it's from a quote by Barlow).

    16. the sense it hides the challenges the majority of the youth face in this world of networking.

      Good

    17. author Danah Boyd who is a

      Give a more precise account of who she is (you can use Wikipedia).

    18. research’s t

      Check apostrophe use

    19. The digital world. Something many uses,

      Watch grammar - fragments and agreement. Eg "many people USE computers," not "many people USES computers."

      Small extra credit opportunity. Look up "sentence fragments," "comma splices," and "subject verb agreement."

      Give a brief defintion of each, a give a few examples from your writing on this blog.

    20. Google and Facebook, very prominent huge mainstream sites and search engines.

      Watch out for fragments (there is no verb in this esmternce).

    1. Boyd coined the terms “digital native”

      She didn't coin these terms. Others did. She analyzes them.

    2. “It’s Complicated, The Social Lives of Networked Teens”

      No quotation (just italics)

    3. age of technology”, one has countless resources made available at their fingertips through

      People have...at their..(nicer agreement)

  2. sarahsblog376309888.wordpress.com sarahsblog376309888.wordpress.com
    1. young people do with technology…”(2:22). This is one of the first problems that Boyd mentions in her text that is carried with the term digital natives that many often assume. Yes, any parent can tell you that their son or daughter has helped them with technology a good amount of times but with what applications? Was it learning how to navig

      Conections are unclear - how is coding related to the quote? The quote mentions researchers being interested in researching young people. You say this connects to parents noting their kids use tech, but maybe don't code. I don't see a connection to Boyd. If you aim to connect to Boyd, state it.

    2. Bennett also brings up Jack, an example of a student who was created based off of scientific research and statistical data.

      I don't follow - Jack was created? Is he a "composite" of several people?

  3. riyathakur35.wordpress.com riyathakur35.wordpress.com
    1. al media as well as the internet can be looked upon as a learning portal for teens to gain new forms of powerful knowledge. It is a common place that teens go to when doing projects, finding new information and, to engage with others. Danah Boyd, author of

      say more about topic, why matters, why care. Cases?

    2. teaches at New York University. In this paper I will explain the main claims and use other articles to support them, and reflect on my research to see how it has established my position.

      I will use these articles to extend and illustrate Boyd...

    3. ou back from an opportunity you didn’t even know was out there because you didn’t have the correct exposure. This ties back to Boyd’s claim saying that although Google is a site that students are brought up to use, there are many pitfalls which include a biased algorithm which lead people to get different results. It is crucial for the public to be informed on how the search engine works and the thought process behind it. This can help them be aware of why they are getting the results they are getting as well as to open their eyes to do more research so they know if what they are seeing is the full story.

      say more about their arguments - why algorithms matter, how they can influence our lives, and how they can cause problems

    4. therefore leaking a form of bias

      awkward

    5. immune

      unaware

    6. Another topic that Boyd covers is the influence of algorithms, how they’re created and how they affect each person. Boyd explains how each person has a different algorithm that forms when they use a search engine- such as google. This algorithm is based on the person’s previous searches which includes likes and dislikes. For example Boyd writes “ Increasingly, the results people get from search engines like Google are highly personalized and dependent on what Google knows about the person doing the query, including demographic information, search query history, and data obtained through social media” (p.186)

      SHe thinks should be part of critical digital literacy education

    7. mation needed isn’t at their reach and how they are unable to dig deeper to get what they are looking for. This is because they have been brought up with information much more easily accessible and at an easy reach rather than having to use basic research skills such as going throug

      Can you find other examples and other quotes to connect back to Boyd and develop the analysis?

    8. h”, P

      Splice

    9. hereas adults are looked at as “digital immigrants” because they are having to learn the ways of technology at a later age and weren’t born into a digital age.

      Fragment

    10. that

      of

    11. e influence of algorithms and the scheme behind fake news and the type of effects it condu

      Good overview

    12. “Its Complicated: the social lives of networked teens”

      MLA

  4. emilyfrws100.wordpress.com emilyfrws100.wordpress.com
    1. tremendously. They did about half as well as the other students in the class.’” Schaffhauser effectively extends and illustrates Boyd’s claim that socioeconomic inequality is a driving factor in the digital divide between students

      Nice work

    2. digital divide, Bowles raises insights into trends of technology use and h
    3. Essentially, Bowles’s claim complicates Boyd’s claims because she proposes a contrasting claim regarding the relationship between socioeconomic status and screen time. A possible reason for this discrepancy could stem from the fact that Boyd’s book was published in 2014, while Bowles’s article was publishe

      Complcates and extends?

    4. These claims have been extended

      You are going to extend etc.

    5. “It’s Complicated: the Social Lives of Networked Teens”

      MLA - italics for book titles

    1. Another part of digital literacy has to do with algorithms and most people, including students, don’t understand what they are or how they work. Boyd believes that the lack of knowledge of algorithms because trust in web engines and other things on the internet that may be biased. I think that people should know basics about algorithms like: what they are, how they are used, what websites use them, and why they are biased.  Boyd writes, “The results that a search engine produces may reveal biases in the underlying data, or they may highlight how the weights chosen by engineers prioritize certain content over others(185).” Boyd writes this in the context of people trusting the order of Google’s results page for being reliable. In reality, Google is a for-profit company with the goal of acquiring the most profit. Which their algorithms will reflect their objective and manipulate which websites get ranked higher. But Google is still considered to be a very trustworthy site that teachers recommend to their student perpetuating the cycle. This is because people are unaware of the algorithms and their bias. Sam Wineburg is a Professor of Education and History at Stanford University and the author of Historical Thinking and Other Unnatural Acts  and Sarah McGrew teaches in the Stanford Teacher Education Program and together they wrote an article talking about the three things student should know about how to choose a trustworthy site from Google. In “Why Students Can’t Google Their Way to the Truth Fact-checkers”, Sam Wineburg and Sarah McGrew wrote, “Instead of trusting Google to sort pages by reliability (which reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of how Google works), the checkers mined URLs and abstracts for clues. They {professional fact-checkers} regularly scrolled down to the bottom of the search results page in their quest to make an informed decision about where to click first.” This gives insight on how professionals find the truth and trustworthy websites. This extends Boyd’s argument by giving options for a solution and it shows that even though Google is biased that you can find good websites if you know how.

      Intersting, it moves fro malgorithms to fact checking. And it's pretty general.

      Try using this text instead. https://datasociety.net/output/algorithmic-accountability-a-primer/

    2. ematics, logic and algorithms, and teaches you a new way to think about the world.” This shows the importance of teaching students coding that is just more than the saying that the future is computers. Students need to understand technology ,which starts with coding, to become digital citizen. Boyd and Schaffhauser claims people need to be taught technical skills and when the only thing required to be taught is about being safe in chat rooms, there is a lot more things that

      Good. Try to find more connections back to Boyd and use textual evidence.

    3. not preparing teens for college or to be digitally literate citizens. Which is the reason why Boyd talks about technical skills in her book. The Children’s Internet Protection Act is the only thing required by the federal government to be taught about the internet. This act forces schools to have two certificates making sure students are safe when using the internet. The extent of the teaching required by the 21st Century Act, which is under the CIPA, is schools must educate “minors about appropriate online behavior, including interacting with other individuals on social networking websites and in chat rooms, and cyberbullying awareness and response.” This is a great Act for protecting our children, but this is the only curriculum required by the government to be taught

      Good, but could develop this paragraph, and the analysis in it. Find more connections and use quotes to discuss.

    4. When Myspace was popular,

      Boyd notes that...

    5. A large claim in Boyd’s chapter is the lack of standardized technical skills being taught or introduced to students

      Need to describe as a claim. This seems like a topic.

    6. that

      who

    7. The digital era has progressed to a point where students can not be functioning citizens without digital literacy.

      Say more - this is important.

    1. use technology to our advantage because it has become such a major part of the modern day life.

      Too broad

    2. , she argues for the use of technology,

      broad

    3. claim to Patricia Wallace’s paper on Internet Addiction Disorder and Youth. I will explain how Patricia Wallace complicates Boyd’s claim of arguing for the use of technology in our youth, an

      Can you xplain how coplicates in more detail, or more precisely?

    4. “Its Complicated”

      MLA

    1. as, eac

      splice

    2. ated through Eli Prasier’s, current Chief Executive of the viral media sharing platform Upworthy, Ted Talk explaining and giving examples of these “filter bubbles”

      First explain her claim (Or Boyd's)

    3. The filtering aspect of Tufekci’s argument is further

      Unclear

    4. one on Facebook without the knowledge of their users as many of those who were affected by the data harvesting were unaware their information was being harvested to begin with.

      Need more - another text perhaps?

    5. ing app, thisisyourdigitallife, created by Cambridge Analytica that was in need of testing and was presented as an exchange if people used the app they were given one to two dolla

      Maybe mention use of data for voter supprssion?

    6. users, as stated by Tufekci “…the

      Integratin of quotes

    7. Tufekci’s article “Facebook’s Surveillance Machine” extends her original position, that the surveillance of social media has negatively impacted society rather than helping it in any way.

      Explain her intitial text and position first.

    8. This paper will analyze Tufekci’s claim that the surveillance of social media on their users has harmed society rather than helping to further it, and other articles that have extended, illustrated, and complicated her claim.

      Good.

      Intro could do more to illustrate and explain th issue and why people care.

    9. Zeynep Tufekci who is a writer

      See her other qualifications

    10. There are sides of the argument claiming that there are beneficial factors of surveillance on consumers through these social media platforms

      Reframe

    1. aulfield, he presents a list of four moves that help users’ fact-check what they are reading online which further extends Boyd’s argument that the youth needs new literacies. One of Weinberg “moves” m

      Perhaps you could talk about critical digital literacy (Boyd) then move to Caulfield? Alternataively, find an outside source that talks specifically about wikipedia and digital literacy, and connect taht to Boyd.

    2. tional gap but takes a different approach as to what should be done about

      OK this is a better text to use.

    3. You are terrified of your own children since they are natives of a world where you will always be immigrants” (Boyd 17

      I don;t think Barlow's work is a good source to use. It is very old and Boyd cites it as what is wrong.

    4. (Weinberg).

      Are you discusng Weinburg or Caulfield? I'm confused.

    5. 181). Youth need to learn how to challenge the biases and premises of the material they are looking at online. They need to be able to break down a source and figure out if it is a reliable one. These types of skills will only set them ahead in the future. Their ability to find and produce credible sources/research will give them a great advantage when finding a job later. Ther

      Good.

    6. digital divide.

      Isn't this a new topic? If so, create a new paragraph.

      Also, try to capture Boyd's account of digital inequality more fully and precisely, with more textual evidence.

    7. assert that this is why there needs to be more of a focus on technology use in schools, so kids are not at a disadvantage for not having the same privileges as others.

      Good. See also this recent piece: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/04/technology/digital-divide-us-fcc-microsoft.html

      It may help you develop this line if analysis.

    8. New York Times

      Italics (see MLA).

    9. chnologically literate. Not all children growing up in a technological age are considered a ‘digital native’ because they have not had the privilege of having access to technology at any time and we cannot leave them behind. T

      Good, but try to refer back to the specifics of the source text in order to establish concrete connections. Otherwise it can seem as if you are talking generally and loosely about topics in both texts.

    10.  In the article “Digital Natives, Digital Assumptions?”

      Who is the author?

    11. verlooked, “It is possi

      Quote introduction and integration

    12. cceed, “Be

      Problem integrating quote. See They Say.

    13. remote

      word choice (I don't follow what "remote" means here)

    14. In this paper, I will evaluate Boyd’s main claims and use outside sources to extend and challenge this aspect of her argument.  

      Good

    15. presented with the same opportunities to learn technology, but their needs to be a new established prioritization of teaching youth for future success.

      Go back to text (and handouts). This isn't really her overall argument.

    16. weather

      sp

    17. digital immigrants, are not equipped to teach the younger generations the right approach

      Are you sure she says this? Go back to text.

    18. r have been taught the proper skill set of appropriate technology use.

      Good.

    19. today’s youth technologically literate, also known as Digital Natives

      Not the same thing - need to clarify

    20. without technology

      Digital technology (humans have experienced technology for millenia).

    1. ts to hijack your brain. They hire the best designers and engineers to crack the code and use brain hacking techniques to make their users check their phones constantly. They come up with features in the forms of likes, heart-shaped icons, streaks, and followers. The only purpose of these apps — thriving in the attention economy market — is to trigger our brains into the instant gratification lifestyle, ultimately exploiting our mind’s weaknesses.”

      Good - but needs far more development and more detailed connections back to Mcnamee, Tufecki etc.

    2. , the effectiveness of which depends on gaining and maintaining consumer attention.

      not sure I follow - need fuller explanation

    3. he primary objective for all social media companies is to make money through advertisements, meaning that they are careless when it comes down to our mental health.

      Explain more fully

    4. Social media

      He claims that...

    5. t investors at Facebook. Golumbia, who is a professor at Virginia Commonwealth University, teaches digital studies and theories. In this paper I will identify the problems that these authors have made evident with social media and I will evaluate several solutions presented by other authors as well.

      Good - but do more to intro problem, what is entailed. why we should care.

    6. any more are reshaping the media, but they potentially cause risks towards their daily users.

      How? Can you explain.

    7. About 40% of the Earth’s population has become familiarized with and uses online social media.

      Source?

    1. extends Boyd’s argument that their generation does not determine level of knowledge on technology. Nigel Coutts and Danah Boyd both claim that digital natives can be out of touch with technology, and digital immigrants can actually adapt and learn about technology if they wish to

      This seems more like simple agreement. I wonder if you need a text that gives you more to work with. See the list from class.

    2. termines one’s level of engagement with technology but one’s disposition towards it” (Coutts).

      Good

    3. ds Boyd’s claims by arguing that digital natives may not be universally tech-savvy in terms of work, but most of them do know a thing or two about video games. If they used this knowledge in a work setting, they would be much more useful and be respected by older people. 

      This needs a lot of development. Need to find more connections and explain in more detail.

    4. oint that technology does not always mean in a classroom or work setting, but many “digital natives” are in fact digitally intelligent on things like video games. He claims that digital natives

      So he accepts the term? Doesn't that mean he disagrees with Boyd?

    5. Danah Boyd a

      Background - who is Boyd, where is the text from, etc.

    6. disagrees with the idea that digital natives are automatically well-equipped and tech-savvy, because many millennials and young people must in fact learn the ropes to technology. She also combats the idea that digital immigrants are so out of touch with technology that they can never be natives, they will always be one step behind the natives because they didn’t grow up using technology. Although this may be true for some, many adults and older people are actually better adapted to technology than younger people

      Good. Could say more about why this all matters, what is at stake, and the positions taken (optimists, pessimists, thosre in middle such as Boyd).

    7. With the implementation of technology

      Almsot everything is technology. Try to be more precise.

    1. Bennett begins by mirroring Boyd’s argument and then branches off in order to extend on the same argument. Bennett’s comparison of the term, “digital literacy,” to other biases and how they affect our thinking qualifies Boyd’s idea of the danger of the term.

      Atreong work - good connections. Develop, refine, make more precise.

    2. s where technical wherewithal is neither valued nor normative, teens are far less likely to become digitally savvy.” This quote highlights Boyd’s central claim about the digital divid

      Nice account of boyd on digital inequality

    3. In the same chapter from her book, “It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens,” Boyd
    4. y skills necessary, Wikipedia would be a valuable flow of information for their research.

      This source as currently presented seems too thin. Isn't there other research on the educaiton uses and values of wikipedia? I suggest you look to this and try to connect to more of B's points on wikipedia.

    5. The information from the university happened to be opinion statements a professor posted while Wikipedia had the facts.

      Need a fuller, more precise explanation. This is hard to follow.

    6. This paper will discuss Danah Boyd’s argument in her chapter on “Are today’s youth digital natives?” and connect her idea to two other articles in order to extend or complicate her main claims

      Need to refine and make more precise

    7. perspective on the topic that is neither pessimistic nor optimistic but a healthy space in between.

      Good - this may be a better angle and way of setting up your paper. Perhaps lead with this.

    8. of the other articles

      Reframe - talk the other writers ou there discussing thiese important topics

    9. children who grew up around technology and need technology to live their everyday lives.

      Fragment

    10. whether today’s youths are “digital natives.”

      Not quite what the chapter is about.

    11. , “It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens,

      See MLA for book titles.

  5. Oct 2018
    1. This chapter is also filled with different types of evidence and reasoning as to why his side of the argument is the correct one. It gets the readers thinking about things they might not have ever thought of before reading this.

      Need A) situate text and explain the controversy, B) give better overview of argument, C) revise metadiscourse section.

    2. Because he has three main claims, rebuttals are to be expected for nearly each one however, he does leaves them out or makes them so small that readers may not even notice that there was a rebuttal.

      Focus on a specific strengths or weakess and discuss this in depth.

    3. Personally I agree with Thompson because I have experienced that when I put my thoughts out there and read others work it helps me have a better understanding of different writing techniques that I can use later in my writing pieces.

      Try to avoid the claim-response pattern. Focus on analysis and T's claim instead.

    4. essay perfectly in one go? This is why we write things down because the thoughts and ideas can become jumbled in our brains if we don’t. Thompson often uses media discourse for hs man claims so that his readers know exactly what is going on throughout the essay. This claim is also backed up by evidence which is an effective way to prove the point trying to me made. He uses a poet to back up this argument to establish credibility for the audience. The famous poet, Cecil Day-Lewis, says “We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand” (Thompson 51). This quote is coming from someone who writes poems for a living and it shows that writing things down plays a huge role in clarifying your mind and is a big part of what writers do for their work.

      Promising, but again, need a more precise, fully developed account of this claim, more analysis if evidence and more work lining up quotations.

    5. than 500 million tweets on Twitter, and over 1 million blog posts and 1.3 million blog comments on WordPress alone” (Thompson 46-47). This shows people the bigger picture about how often and how much we use the internet for writing every single day. The use of the large numbers grasps the reader’s attention because it gets them thinking about the real statistics and to realize that Thompson may be right about what he is arguing

      On right track, but need a more precise, developed account of this claim. You also need to provide background for the evidence and quotations your present. Lastly, talk about evidence types and how used to persuade (see evidence section in textbook).

    6. gues that the internet has become an outlet for our writing skills and that we are writing more now than we ever have before.

      Needs to be more precisely articulated.

    7. more clear and cognitive,

      Unclear/awkward

    1. using many other people’s experiences, expert quotes, facts, and studies to support his argument. The author uses all four of these to support his claim about the audience effect. Thompson s

      Too generic. Focus on an element and how it strnghtens his case.

    2. A rebuttal that was addressed by Thompson was that college students are worse at writing now compared to people in the past. Thompson used a study from a Stanford English Professor as supporting evidence that people now write more than ever before. The findings were that the error rate stayed mostly consistent throughout the years, but what was interesting was that es

      Good. But develop and tighten this paragraph, and explain how the rebuttal advances T's putpose and persuades his audience.

    3. “hand waving” to prove that, if you were to write a controversial blog post with the concept of hand waving

      Need to first expain the audience effect in more detail.

    4. your need to please people.

      Not quite what he says.

    5. e that letter writing was a common event in the past, so people don’t realise how much they are writing in comparison to people in the past.  The author uses a Historian’s work to prove just how little people wrote letters. In 1845, the United States lowered prices on the cost of sending personal letters a

      Unpack and explain the claim before getting into the weeds.

    6. blic writing made possible by the internet has important effects on thought, knowledge-sharing, culture, and politics

      Nice

    7. in his book The Shallows that, “We (people who go on the internet) become mindless consumers of data.” which is similar to what you hear most people say when talking about the internet.  

      Good, but refine and revise this. It is a little abrupt and could do more to connect to T.

    1. ague and not relatable to his audience. Thompson recalls an observation he made when visiting young bloggers from China. He reflects on his surprise that many of the bloggers wer

      Interesting!

    2. that the most intellectual experts “[knew] how to debate, marshal evidence, listen to others, and [able] to concede points”(67). Thompson relates the Greek culture to today’s era to persuade the reader that today’s literacy includes a high standard of knowledge and proficiency. Thompson’s strong evidence is able to effectively persuade the reader on the increase of literacy.

      Agin - on right track, but need a more precise, developed account of this rebuttal, and background for the evidence and quotations your present.

    3. Thompson proves that with a society full of criticism, writers have to constantly reevaluate their own thoughts in a more precise and intellectual way to persuade the audience.

      On right track, but need a more precise, developed account of this claim. You also need to provide background for the evidence and quotations your present.

    4. The Internet has enlarged the impact of the audience effect

      Need to explain what the audience effect is first.

    5. but also improves one’s memory. For example, Thompson includes early evidence known as the “generation effect” tested by two psychologists. They found that individuals were more able to be recall words they had “written down compared to words merely read” (57). What he means by this is that writing is not only for developing thoughts but a process that allows individuals to improve intellectually.

      Good - but you start very broad and then work to a more specific claim. Explain that claim from the start, and develop your explanation of it, as well the evidence used.

    6. hat the Internet forms a new wave of public thinking constantly improving the way we live, th

      Overstates his argument. Try to capture the overall argument more accurately and precisely.

    7. ly improves ones writing abilities but also improves our society and culture as a whole.

      Perhaps mention writers like Nicholas Carr and Jean Twenge.

    8. New discoveries of the benefits of the Internet are evolving constantly, making it one of the most beneficial platforms in today’s era.

      This seems at odds with most of the recent news, which is negative (Russian hacks, invasions of privacy, trolling, etc.)

  6. riyathakur35.wordpress.com riyathakur35.wordpress.com
    1. people perform better in front of an audience

      writing for an audience improves the quality of both thought and expression.

    2. pson’s main claims, analyze how effective his claims are, evaluate his strengths and weaknesses and discuss rebutt

      Nice!

    3. writing in general is so important and the many benefits it contai

      Try to capture his argument more precisely.

    4. hese advancements have lead to many positive benefits including; clarity of thoughts, connecting and sharing information, knowledge, bettering our quality of writing and the expression of feelings. I

      Good - just need to rework this a little for clarity.

    5. a of writing in general there have been many advances with public writing, with the help of the internet.

      Imprecise - need to clarify.

    6. impact of writing on the internet has drastically changes and increases everyday.

      Think you have it backwards.

    7. expressed the many benefits it has

      Far too general. His argument is much more specific than this.

    8. , making us do whatever is convenient and not encouraging us to put forth our full effort.

      Great - nice reference to Carr. Try to make this a bit more precise (not sure "convenient" is his focus). Google his work - wikipedia might help.

    1. it has been proven

      Focus on Thompson's claims. Make Thompson the focus. (It has been proven by whom?)

    2. Educational development has radically transformed since the integration of technology.

      Avoid these huge generalizations at the start of paragraphs. Focus on a claim.

    3. e best that they can. He concludes that when you know no one else will be reading what you wrote, you will not care if it is well developed; however, if you know that many others will have access to what you wrote, you will have more motivation to try your best to create a well written piece.

      Rework this so that you focus on the claim about the "audience effect." Explain that claim in detail, and examine the types of evidence used to support it.

    4. they are no longer the only one who will be reading the material, a greater amount of pressure was put on to them to write something of higher value

      Reframe this in terms of what Thompson claims. Introduce a major claim and explain it clearly and precisely.

    5. within writing pieces

      not sure what that means

    6. acknowledging

      Use langauge of argument and analysis

    7. technology has had a positive impact on society.

      Too broad - this is far more general than T's claim.

    8. observe

      analyze and evaluate (watch for accuracy and precision).

    9. both sides in his writing

      He comes down firmly on one side. Need to rework the introduction and how you situate T's argument.

    10. public media

      I think you mean social media

    11. Between the various forms of social media and an increase in internet access, technology continues to influence the progression of society as a whole.

      Seems overly general and a little bit of a cliche.

    12. majorly transformed

      awkward

    1. ) When challenged to write for an audience, the students wrote more efficiently and even presented their argument better. Having an audience gives the writer a purpose and makes them want to create a piece that is legible to all audiences and all types of readers. The fear of criticism should not scare the author into not writing the way they feel most comfortable. Social media and blogging opens up the forum for discussion and gives us the opportunity to share our thoughts with others who are reading the same conte

      This section is good. Keep working on it and refining it.

    2. roviding the statistics and research persuading the reader to view the argument from his standpoint. Showing the proof behind his claims is a powerful tool when persuadin

      OK - but that is rather generic. Serious writers who write long texts usually use data and statistics. It doesn't seem a particular strentgth. It is a bit like saying it is a strength to use words when writing an argument.

    3. proves the point that our online posts are giving us a reason to write, and even though many of us think we can’t influence the thoughts and spark conversation all throughout the wor

      Suggest you focus on some of his more central claims, e.g. the importance of the audience effect.

    4. n age of limited ways of communication, people were still rarely using their writing skills to communicate. While people may disagree, think of it like this, why would the telephone have been invented if the form of communication that was already being used

      This seems to lead away from his claim.

    5. Research suggests that even in the United Kingdoms peak letter writing years- the late nineteenth century, before the telephone became common- the average citizen received barely one letter every two weeks, and thats even if we generously include a lot of distinctly unliterary business missives of the ‘hey you owe me money’ type.”

      Avoid what G and B call drive by quotations.

    6. Another claim presented in Thompson’s chapter, states that before the internet, people were not writing frequently

      Need to do more to frame as a claim.

    7. Thompson claims that people who use different messaging platforms rarely make grammatical errors in their essays and in their schoolwork

      Not a major claim.This element is really part of a rebuttal (he opposes the idea that social media is making writing worse).

    8. persuade the reader to understand his argument.

      He doesn't persuade in order to get us to understand. He wants us to agree.

    9. ur new generation writes. Thompson argues that the internet has given us a platform to write like never before. No other generation has had the tools to write so freely and easily

      Need to capture his overall argument more accurately and fully.

    10. The time has come when writing out our ideas with pencil and paper is no longer popular.

      Bit of an overstatement. A lot of people still use pen and paper to write many things.

    1. Thompson made the decision to include this experiment because his audience would know the esteemed reputation that Vanderbilt has and be more inclined to trust these results.

      OK, but this is rather broad and doesn't tell us anything very interesting. Studies from reputable universities are commonly used. Try to explore in more detail the way a choice or an elements works to persuade the audience or has an effect on the audience.

    2. ant decrease in the quality of papers that students produce. Thompson’s use of rebuttals function to strengthen his claims and counter any opposing viewpoints that his readers may have. 

      Good work in this section. Keep working on this and improving the analysis. Consider the strategic and persuasive dimensions of T's rebuttals.

    3. son directly challenged his opposer’s view and used evidence to persuade his audience that the counterclaim is invali

      Good

    4. lic Wikipedia entries. She found that “when the students first tried inputting badly sourced articles, the Wikipedians simply deleted them. So the students were forced to go back, work harder, find better evidence, and write more persuasively,” (56). Thompson i

      Need to discuss audience effect claim in sep paragraph, line up examples and evidence, and examine in much more detail. This is his central claim, so you need to explore it much more fully.

    5. Social media has given rise to a phenomenon known as the audience effect

      OK, but you seem to have moved to another claim.