3,456 Matching Annotations
  1. Apr 2025
  2. Local file Local file
    1. At least this is how it felt for many of mypeers who have spent the majority of their free time scrolling on TikTok.

      At least that's how it felt for many of my peers who spend the majority of their free time scrolling on TikTok.

    2. Attachment theory, developed by John Bowley in the mid-1900s, explains how thebond between an infant and their primary caregiver will impact future relationshipsand behaviors.

      move to previous paragraph

    3. Now that I have described a scenario that may seem completely outside yourparental control, you may be asking yourself how you can help your child managehealthy online interactions. Here are a few pieces of advice from a Gen Zer who hasexperienced her fair share of online interactions while living within a framework ofrules set by her own parents:

      you could probably cut this paragraph; it's mainly metadiscourse, and the context indicates where the piece is headed

    4. One friend expressed genuine sadness about missing the opportunity topost “get ready with me” graduation content

      what does this paragraph accomplish?

    Annotators

    1. Utility Executives: Must meet peak electricity use while meeting decarbonisationmandates, which increasingly involve “smart power distribution systems”2

      maybe focus on CA only?

    2. l utilities to jointly create

      what's the incentive for utilities to collaborate? where will the funding come from to make the changes you're calling for?

    Annotators

    1. Don’t expect it to be the same, expect it to be entertaining.

      This is the point to drive home. Judge the film on its own merits. Comparing 2025 SW to 1937 SN & TSD is NOT a one-to-one comparison.

    2. “skin as white as snow” and “kindhearted innocence” presents a severely outdated racial assumption; one certainly worth removing from the film.

      right, and this explains, one presumes, much of the hate on RT. people love to dunk of "woke" Disney.

    3. Clearly, this film set a high bar that any remake would struggle to meet, right?

      here again, your phrasing suggests the original is a contemporary release. SW & TSD is nearly 90 years old; it's been reviewed countless times through a variety of cultural lenses. the question is the remake better or worse my be moot, given that you're dealing, in certain ways, more with an icon than a mere movie.

    4. This appears to be the case when Snow White is compared to the original film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937),

      maybe say: when compared to the original, many viewers find the remake to be lacking.

  3. Mar 2025
    1. A writer who does a good job forges a connection with the reader, and sympathetic understanding flows back and forth

      Yes! This goes for ALL writers seeking to be read in ANY context!

    2. I find that most academic writing is unfriendly and ungenerous

      Nice. This is a useful way to think about it, as it stresses the social nature of writing

    3. The main problem with writing for a captive audience is that it teaches us to take the reader’s attention for granted

      right. but also it teaches us to take for granted readers outside school.

    4. Long before they set foot in graduate school or venture beyond it, academic writers spend years getting used to a reader who can’t be distracted or discouraged, because that reader receives cash to read to the end

      This is such an important point. Don't expect anyone to read your work with such care again!

  4. Oct 2024
    1. I have never killed a darling in my life

      a common phrasing among writers. the idea is that sometimes you have to cut things you've written that you really like for the benefit of the whole piece

    2. self-surrender

      Lavery speaks of acceptance (of one's writing practice, no matter how quirky, uneven or predictable) in terms of surrender. To surrender is to give up or give in, and thus has a defeatist orientation. Does acceptance have to involve surrender? What might be another way to describe what Lavery is getting at?

  5. Apr 2024
  6. xiomaraneri340.substack.com xiomaraneri340.substack.com
    1. I am talking about all forms of love from all men in my life; whether it’s platonic love, sibling love, or family love; whether it’s my guy friends, guy cousins, or my brother.

      I am talking about all forms of love from all men in my life: platonic love, sibling love, family love.

    2. I have grieved the loss of love, specifically the lack of love from the men in my life.

      Phrasing:

      Specifically, I have grieved the loss of love from the men in my life.

  7. krandonishiba.substack.com krandonishiba.substack.com
    1. Krando NishibaWRIT 340Prof TomkinsMarch 27, 2024Part I:

      You don't need this info, unless you want your piece to look like an assignment for a class

    2. In many cases, scholars, students, policymakers, and the general public interested in such topics would be the main audience.

      it would help if you could point to an example. did you write this for academics, or for the public in an academic style?

    1. informed by a narrative that has dominated an outsiders’ perspective

      ... informed by a narrative that continues to dominate the outsider's perspective.

  8. ajjdomingo.substack.com ajjdomingo.substack.com
    1. conflict.

      This piece is too short, too limited in scope, and too information-based to qualify as a academic article. Viewed as a college essay, it's heavy on summary and light on argument. The objective here seems to been to learn more about the I-P conflict and its history. A commendable objective. But, as written, not one necessarily suitable for an academic audience.

    2. Loffredo captures statements, at an Israeli blockade to prevent aid to Arabs in Gaza, “[Palestinians] can starve to death” and “Kill them. I don't care.”

      This seems critical of Israel, though. Are you saying this film is pr-Israel, meant to spread populist Israeli sentiment?

    3. the Balfour Declaration in October 1917, declared the Palestine region as a national home for fleeing Jews from Nazism

      This was a British declaration that had nothing to do with Nazism

    4. populist narratives and strategies shape perceptions, policies, and outcomes in this longstanding geopolitical struggle

      But where? In the US? In Israel?

    5. populism has consistently defied categorization within political and social frameworks

      how do you know? what evidence are you basing this statement on?

    6. I wanted to write in an academic analytical style since it provides a structured format for presenting an argument, evidence, and analysis.

      But remember, the assigned asked you to identify your motivation and audience, and to select a genre that performed the appropriate social action. What were you motivated to accomplish here, given that your audience consists (presumably) of academics?

    1. holistic

      same issue here. it's one thing to link to a single article, but linking to books requires giving readers a little more information in the event they what to read more from the sourse being cited.

    2. possessed

      here, I would advise naming the author you're quoting, as well as the chapter. otherwise, readers will have no idea where to look for the precise information being cited.

    1. d

      “Today's tech platforms are caught in a race to the bottom of the brain stem to extract human attention. It's a race we're all losing. The result: addiction, social isolation, outrage, misinformation, and political polarization-all part of one interconnected system …that poses an existential threat to humanity.”

      --Christine Jackman, Turning down the Noise : The Quiet Power of Silence in a Busy World

    2. profound impact of silence and meditation

      what does profound silence and meditation have to do with exercise? you need to create a clearer link to make the previous paragraph seem less random.

    3. In a study, researchers found elite sprinters and runners compared to non-athletes had more bodily trust, attention, regulation, and self-regulation. (Seabury, 2023).

      Hyperlink to source

    4. “Today's tech platforms are caught in a race to the bottom of the brain stem to extract human attention. It's a race we're all losing. The result: addiction, social isolation, outrage, misinformation, and political polarization-all part of one interconnected system …that poses an existential threat to humanity.”

      to whom do you attribute this quote?

    5. it vividly. What are your surroundings? The smells, sounds, colors, and what you were doing

      Good direction, but a tad awkward.

      What were your surroundings? What were the smells, sounds, and colors? What were you doing?

    1. social analysis paper

      what is a social analysis paper? is this an article intended for a relatively broad audience, or an college essay geared toward a smaller one?

    2. In a YouTube street interview conducted by AsianBoss (2023), several young individuals shared their reasons behind their opinions on marriage and raising children. A recurring problem concerns the difficult economic state for these young individuals as the cost of living is high.

      in what part of south korea? also, i'd advise locating a more legitimate source. surely scholarly studies exist on the economic situation in south korean and how it's affecting the growth of young families

    3. my peers were unaware of the current issue in South Korea

      why not write an article on the matter for a larger audience? where do you imagine readers coming across your piece?

    4. formatting of this social analysis paper is directed to an audience that has little to no knowledge of the ongoing

      you've said this. but how does the formatting address that audience, exactly?

    5. social analysis paper allowed me to explain the social issue, and draw upon articles and data to support my findings.

      how is this different from any of the college essays you've written over the last few years?

    6. I felt that the direction of a social analysis paper allowed me to actively use my references as source material to explain and dissect a multifaceted topi

      as you have before, in college essays I presume

  9. izzypampalone340.substack.com izzypampalone340.substack.com
    1. an op-ed would be an excellent choice of genre

      to justify an op-ed, you need to identify a more immediate rationale. maybe the film's Oscar losses?

    2. The op-ed genre made the most sense to me because Barbie is an iconic cultural symbol with a complex legacy, representing ideals of beauty, femininity, and consumerism.

      Yes, but why write about Barbie now? What's the rationale for writing an op-ed about Barbie after the "Barbenheimer" moment has passed?

    3. The success of the Barbie movie was instrumental for Mattel.

      What's the singular focus of this piece? The through-line I think you're going for -- despite being the butt of the joke in Barbie, it's Mattel who wins the day -- gets a bit obscured

    4. “during the call that the first wave of movie-related products had sold out, and that Mattel plans to release more products timed for the holidays. In total, he said Mattel has locked in more than 165 partnerships with brands and retailers that cover everything from clothing to candles, furniture, burgers, pasta and even Barbie-inspired sushi.” (Kavilanz, CNN).

      --edit for grammatical clarity --use block quotes when cited texts exceeds three lines --use a hyperlink in public facing documents

    5. film was the year’s highest-grossing film, grossing over $1.38 billion at the global box office. By every definition imaginable, the film

      too much repetition (film, film, film)

  10. elisaliberati.substack.com elisaliberati.substack.com
    1. Stigma is defined as “the mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality or person”.

      where does this definition come from?

    2. but not watching my mom

      awkward phrasing

      I still have to manage my anxiety to this day but not watching my mom deal with mental health would’ve made me extremely more scared of the unknown, so I am eternally grateful to her.

    3. A blog always starts with a compelling tone, one that catches the reader and asking a question that everyone can answer was my goal

      how do you know this?

    1. While I was aware that a majority of people in the United States have generations of ancestors who have been living in this country, it never was a prevalent thought for myself growing up.

      While I was aware that a majority of people in the United States have generations of ancestors who have been living in this country, it never was a prevalent thought for myself growing up.

      Growing up, of course I noticed that most of my friends' families had lived in the U.S. for decades. But it never occurred to me that lacking a long-term American lineage would disadvantage me in the future.

    2. Despite being a Filipino American, and the first in my immediate family to be born in America, I have felt very disconnected from Filipino culture.

      Isn't this to be expected though, because you were, as you say, the first born in America?

    3. Even as a student in my last semester as a Cinema and Media Studies major, I have never taken a class that educated me about Philippine cinema

      Even as a student in my last semester as a Cinema and Media Studies major, I have never taken a class that educated me about Philippine cinema

      I have yet to take a class on Philippine cinema, despite being a Cinema and Media Studies major in her final year of college

    1. The rebels practiced asymmetric warfare against an oppressive and overwhelmingly powerful threat to their self-determination

      You should cite Cameron, since you're pretty much quoting him word for word here.

    2. narrative structure of Joseph Campbell’s seminal ‘hero’s journey’ and combined them

      narrative structure = one thing them = pronoun signifying more than one thing

    1. intended audience for this piece was music fans in general, essentially anyone passionate enough about music

      what kind of music fan, though? classical? jazz? no, it's fans of mainstream pop, isn't it?

    2. What categories should the GRAMMYs use? How much change needs to occur in the voting body of the Recording Academy?

      These questions arguably deserve more attention that they're receiving here