is this reference cited in the body of your essay?

connected

insert ;

iPads

Nice job and well-written. You incorporated the three PK links, formatted the page and your references section appropriately, and cited your sources. You might have wandered away a bit from your thesis with the emphasis on e-commerce, but by connecting it to social media marketing and advertising you created some context for your argument.

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redundant

interesting to note that just today I saw a report that Netflix is already having to "switch gears" to adapt to the DECREASING number of subs/hours viewed because of the "opening up" of covid lockdowns...what goes up can just as quickly come down...unless you think that digital media consumption habits will be changed forever because of the pandemic

stay-at-home (?)

needs a space

probably best to insert period here

This first paragraph doesn't feel like an abstract, but rather an introduction to the covid pandemic and its current status.

Since we didn't have the benefit of posting the thesis and sources to Bb > discussion forum, I'm assuming this is the thesis statement. You might take one more step and declare that because of the increasing necessity of digital media, it is time for congress to classify broadband internet, and social media platforms, as public utilities...thus making their regulatory framework consistent with other utilities. This would have implications for Section 230 and the protection of free speech.

this has been a consistent argument made by losing candidates for decades, even centuries...including by Hillary Clinton in 2016 and continuing for years, even after Russian collusion was dismissed, and Stacey Abrams continuing to declare that the 2018 gubernatorial election was stolen...why the sudden interest in silencing the speaker, even if the statement is false...we tolerate lies by politicians all the time (because the alternative requires some way to determine what is true...and trust in a system to declare what is and isn't open to debate) with the expectation that the American public can and will make up their own minds about who to believe

And ultimately you're okay giving Twitter the authority to decide what information is "correct"? And if you're okay with Twitter's ownership today, what if they go off the rails and begin squashing speech that you support? Are you okay with that possibility?

what class?

• references should be alphabetical order by last name, and formatted using either APA or MLA style
• none of these references are cited in your essay

how do you respond to Jack Dorsey's statement that it “sets a precedent I feel is dangerous: the power an individual or corporation has over a part of the global public conversation...having to take these actions fragment the public conversation.”

this paper probably needs a more thorough analysis of Twitter's "glorification of violence" policy since that was the premise of the Trump ban...that and his tweet that said he would not be attending the inauguration...see https://techcrunch.com/2021/01/08/why-twitter-banned-president-trump/

preventing him from expressing

actually most do have age requirement (13 years) to comply with COPA

Section 230?

responsible

?

about 22% of US adults use Twitter, out of 85% who own a smart phone

sites, or better yet, platforms

sentence fragment, see https://www.grammarly.com/blog/mistake-of-the-month-sentence-fragments/

?

this is where your thesis statement should be presented

that was a long paragraph...would benefit from division into sections and sub-sections

hypertext link

this should be a hypertext link

Great job Raena...really nice overview of some of the salient issues facing the next generation of AI developers and users. Also, great use of multimedia elements and links to PK pages/topics.

assistants (?)

aha, the thesis statement...this paragraph might make more sense at the very beginning, with the section about history following

excellent job with references, in-text citations, and formatting

This is a fairly simplistic introduction to some of the arguments raised by the application of media effects theory to violent video game play by young people. One of the arguments, that sane people can separate game play from reality, could be negated as VR immersion erases the line between virtual and real reality...and that could be an interesting topic for future discussion.

I'm not convinced that you made the case for this statement...you've raised questions, but did you disprove the accusations?

what do we do about the "insane" segment of the population?

who

this would be a good place to address the correlation v causation issue...you begin to do that in the next sentence, but it benefit from additional development

This video seems to make a pretty strong case for parental concern over exposure to violent video games...but you don't respond with a convincing counter-argument

Is this your thesis statement? If so it should probably include a brief statement referencing the basic reason for your disagreement.

perhaps the question is more nuanced than that...at what age (level of maturation) are the risks of harmful psychological effects reduced to a level that is acceptable for healthy socialization?

this again raises the question, at what age is video video game exposure safe?

we also have natural inclinations (survival instincts?) to lie, cheat and steal...should those also be promoted as video game themes in the interest of engaging the player?

okay, we're well into the paper, time to start providing answers instead of questions

slang

beware of run-on sentences....best to replace the and here with a period

this set-up for the video that follows could have been a bit more detailed...for example, you could have mentioned that X-number of top-10 arcade games in the video below contained extensive and graphic violence.

are there two other links to PK Scalar pages?

dimensionally

References should be listed in alphabetical order by author's last name. Also, each of these sources should be cited in the body of your essay using standard in-text citation formatting, e.g. "words, words, words" (Ebersole, 2021, p.#).

Douglas Gentile (cited in Yenigun)

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thesis statement?

see note above about celebrities

later on you make the case for why cancelling is particularly harmful to ordinary folks

perhaps this is the link to the class topic (interactivity)...since online activism and anonymity make it easier to coordinate opposition to a thing/person...but if so, this needs to be developed

anonymity (?)

owners'

does it come down to democracy and rule of the majority?

you've provided several examples of cancels that have backfired, but how does one determine what is TOO far?

well, that's a good thing, right?

how is this not a subjective assessment...just your opinion?

is there a specific turning-point that you can reference? when did it cross the line?

?

for society (?)

who

If this is your thesis statement, it should be a statement and not a question, and should be introduced at the end of your introductory paragraph. Also, I'm not sure how this essay topic addresses issues specific to our class topic of interactivity/social media.

Neither is this source cited

This source is not cited in your essay

You didn't post your thesis and sources in the Bb Discussion Forum so I was unable to provide two sources for you to include.

were these protesters/rioters, by your definition, citizen journalists? See https://apnews.com/article/capitol-siege-media-journalism-riots-social-media-70192823f35380b860b6f2708904bc5c

Very thought-provoking thesis. I would have liked to see more emphasis on the way that social media platforms have become the de facto gate-keepers for citizen journalists and their posts.

the smart phone cameras that witnessed the apprehension and death of Floyd told an important part of the story, but it wasn't the whole story...which is why we still need professional journalists who are willing to do the research (on and off of social media) to uncover the full story

So, if doing journalistic work makes one a journalist, what standard is required when it comes to knowing and applying the SPJ Code of Ethics? What percent of citizen journalists know about or think about the SPJ code? And what percent of those agree that it should be the standard for their work? The loss of standards (or the perception thereof) has caused a loss of trust. See more at https://www.americanpressinstitute.org/publications/reports/survey-research/trust-journalism-values/

been swept (?)

not sure that I follow the logic here

again, this is an important report on the matter of public perception of journalism: https://www.americanpressinstitute.org/publications/reports/survey-research/trust-journalism-values/

if anyone with a smart device is a journalist, then the profession of journalism (by definition) is fading away

e.g., the profession of travel agent has disappeared because everyone was given the tools and access to book his/her own travel

again, even an unedited video recording can fail to deliver the truth

first-hand

isn't social media where much of this finger-pointing happens?

this is not universally accepted as a positive development

source or distribution channel?

are:

follow (?)

I see only 1 of the 2 suggested sources (posted to Bb forum)

these should be hypertext links

Good job overall. Could there be a technological solutions to the problem, e.g. software that will indicate if AI has been used to modify pixels? I see one link to a PK presentation...did I miss the other two?

requirement for minimum of 7 references

these should be hypertext links

?

not sure what this means

do or delete

would have been great to have embedded this video below this paragraph

?

sentence fragment

this should probably have been introduced when you mentioned GAN several paragraphs earlier

are you trying to say that this process resulted in the mapping of Cage's face onto video of another person's body, aka the "face swap" technique mentioned in the following paragraph?

?

?

compile (?)

?

citation?

Is this your thesis statement?

Overall a good introduction to the issues surrounding anonymity in social media spaces, with good examples specific to professional sports. Still curious as to whether you think the pro athlete twitter users are somehow worthy of specific standards...or if these observations should be applied universally. Good use of multimedia, hyperlinks, and incorporation of PK links.

re-reading your previous paragraphs, you seem to make a more convincing argument for the downside than the upside

shouldn't this be in your previous paragraph?

not sure that you made a case here for why Twitter specifically...your argument could be applied to any social platform

aura

this phrase should conclude the upside argument as you transition to the downside

more commonly, deindividuation

if Bottini was posting inside info, medical info, and other controversial information should Twitter bear any responsibility for giving her a platform?

plural > singular

? first time an NBA GM resigned?

good set up of the embedded video

athlete's

sentence fragment

account's

sounds like most anyone could have figured that one out

if this is the account name, use @quiresultan

this needs a transition to set up your shift to talking about exposing burner account owners

this would have been a good place to mention cancel culture

?

I think we're going to need a definition here (or at least a link)

celebrities, players and coaches, athletes...I understand that you are focusing on college and pro athletes, but I'll be interested to see if your observations apply equally to ordinary twitter users?

congrats, you are one of the few who followed instructions to include your thesis statement at the end of your introduction! :-)

delete

the style guide/example specified H3 for headings, and H4 for subheadings

MLA = Works Cited APA = References Also, none of these references are cited in the essay

Brianna, the lack of clarity and failure to clearly communicate is making it impossible for me to determine what you're trying to say...let alone whether you are constructing a valid argument for your thesis; "Twitter is the future when it comes to news delivery sources." I will continue to read your essay, but cannot continue to provide annotations because I am finding it impossible to understand what you have written.

?

sentence fragment, see https://www.grammarly.com/blog/mistake-of-the-month-sentence-fragments/

not sure that the following paragraph is truly an abstract of your paper

not sure what you're trying to say here

this does not make sense...needs to be edited for clarity

what study? did you intend for there to be an in-text citation here, or link to a particular study?

?

a (?)

Twitter is one of many channels for content dissemination

delete

this should be a hypertext link

this should be a hypertext link

Not sure why, but the images are not showing up for me.

A little slow out of the gate, but overall good overview of the advantages provided by interactivity. Thought you might go on to address AR/VR/XR since you seem to be very interested in the possibilities they provide.

medium

hadn't heard that one before...but I'm going to have to find an opportunity to use it now!

Stanford Research Institute

?

APA = References Also, I don't see either of the sources that I recommended to you

Great question for another paper. Another question...should they be forgiven instead of being cancelled? Or, should people only be cancelled if they refuse to accept responsibility or ask for forgiveness?

Great topic but I feel like you drifted away from your focus on social media archives, and the ease with which our digital footprints are so easily traced...and how that contributes to the practice of cancel culture.

actually, I think it is considered both bad and good, by different groups at different times

are you sure?

bosom

berate

expressed (?)

I feel like this needs more explanation. Because of the number and status of those who signed the letter, and how they were, in turn, cancelled for signing the letter, this is a critically important document that needs to be understood to fully grasp this subject.

it's probably worth noting that celebrity, fame, popularity, controversy, etc. makes digital dumpster diving more likely to happen...with my low-key lifestyle I'm probably safe from having my online past exposed and used against me knocks on wood

not sure what point you're trying to make with this paragraph since all social media (with the exception of embedded ads) is user generated

perhaps you're getting there...but I'd like to see you address the difference between cancel culture and consequence culture (if there is a difference) and why consequences can be good in so far as they discourage bad behavior from continuing even while cancelling can be unfair or even counterproductive

unnecessary

this statement is both obvious and, at the same time, not entirely true...and as such should be revised to be more clear

social media platforms have provided distribution and promotion channels for videos...they didn't facilitate permission per se

I don't see the sources that I posted in response to your thesis statement in the discussion forum

slang

Good job with formatting, incorporation of multimedia elements, and hypertext links to PK, sources, and references. And well-written too!

one reference short of the required 7...also, should be in alphabetical order

everyone should watch the following video

resistance will come from the fact that fortunes are made by financial institutions holding onto funds for even short periods of time

again, I would like to have some information about the following video clip. (interesting, btw) what does this video clip demonstrate? what should I watch/listen for?

"easy" as in, I understand all the words in the following sentence...but not so easy when trying to understand the technology behind it

would like to have a little bit more setup for the video to follow

nice!

The intent here was to have these terms reference in the body of your paper, not as a list at the end.

ebscohost links require the reader to have an account and password for access. The proper link to provide is a DOI (Digital Object Identifier) link.

So, this raises the issue of anonymity online. Should social media platforms allow for anonymous accounts, or should there be a requirement to register with some form of official ID?

This should be defined the first time you use it.

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two-headed

sentence frag, see https://www.grammarly.com/blog/mistake-of-the-month-sentence-fragments/

I think he was expecting a woman in her 20s. Teenager makes it sounds creepier than it was.

?

"catfishing" is a verb, so it would have to describe an act or behavior. A person who engages in "catfishing" is someone who "creates a false profile..."

this would be a great place for an in-text citation to your source for this info

Do you know where the term came from? It's origin story is explained at the end of the documentary Catfish. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1584016/

good intro

Spencer, except for your links in the Sources section you missed out on the opportunity to be a multimedia/interactive digital resource. Where are the embedded images and videos? How about linking terms in the body of your paper to resources, including PK pages? I see that you listed several PK terms at the end, with links, but these were supposed to be incorporated in the body of the paper.

Thomas, this feels so much like a traditional "paper" and not an interactive digital resource. Where are the links, the embedded images and videos, the hypertext paths to PK topics? From the assignment..."Because this is an electronic document and not a "paper," you should incorporate multi-media elements (images, graphics, animations, videos, etc.) that serve to support your argument."

This should be indented so that we know where the abstract starts and stops. Typically one does not use first person, e.g., "I will..." in a scholarly essay. Also, this feels more like an introduction than an abstract.

I stopped annotations at this point.

The

the authors?, researchers?, tech workers? Who are they?

Isn't this also very likely social media time?

Not sure what you mean by this.

one

Not sure that social media is a great source for external research.

I'm not sure that I believe this without a citation. Middle schoolers may have you beat!

sees

Not sure what this means.