1,222 Matching Annotations
  1. Apr 2020
    1. proves

      suggests?

    2. A third party that many journalists use for fact checking.

      fragment

    3. Good examples from YouTube about misuse and mis-labeling of the Italian hospital footage. Also, good job embedding the YouTube clips with cue points to take us directly to the shots in question.

    4. Good job linking to PK terms/presentations

    5. information

      disinformation?

    6. Great use of header graphic

    1. teenagers and young adults

      see earlier comment about YouTube embeds

    2. According to an article How Using Social Media Affects Teenagers by Rachel Ehmke for the Child MInd Institute website, she states

      same as earlier comment

    3. American Journal of Epidemiology

      instead of linking here, this should be cited and then linked in your list of references at the end

    4. This is explained in an article named Six Way Social Media Negatively Affects Your Mental Health by Sabrina Bar for the Independent website, in which she states in a study that

      replace with, "According to Bar,"

    5. trolls , they

      comma splice

    6. “The more we use social media, the less happy we seem to be. One study a few years ago found that Facebook use was linked to both less moment-to-moment happiness and less life satisfaction—the more people used Facebook in a day, the more these two variables dropped off. The author suggests this may have to do with the fact that Facebook conjures up a perception of social isolation, in a way that other solitary activities don’t.”

      The presence of "the author suggests" indicates that Walton was quoting another study. If so, that should be the source of your quote.

    7. in an article called 6 Ways Social Media Affects our Mental Health by Alice G. Walton for the Forbes website, she

      replace with Walton

    8. if not used right

      "if not used right" seems like an unnecessary qualifier

      couldn't this be said about any product or service? "If not used right, (insert most anything) problems can arise..."

    9. good job incorporating and linking to several PK topics

    10. they are not even in contact with

      depends on how you define "contact"?

    11. in her article Social Media and Teen Anxiety for the Harvard Graduate School website, she states that

      see earlier comment

    12. low self-esteem, and increases in depression or anxiety.

      Again, do not just link to YouTube videos...provide context and explain what this particular video contributes to your argument, then provide the embed code so that the reader can click play and not leave your website.

      Also, all multimedia sources, e.g. this TEDTalk, should be listed in your references at the end of your essay.

    13. “because the artificial blue light given off by smartphones activates arousing neurons in the brain. Hence, these chemicals disrupt the body’s ability to produce melatonin, a sleep-inducing hormone.”

      Actually, the article at https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/well-being/technology-and-sleep-deprivation/ or the research published by Nature (see https://www.nature.com/articles/497S13a) would have been a better source for this citation than the one used.

    14. they state

      the author states...

    15. by the Newport Academy for the Newport Academy website

      redundant

    16. mental health issues

      instead of linking to YouTube videos they should be embedded

      also, embedded videos need to be contextualized...you need to explain why this video segment is being included and to what video content the reader/viewer should pay attention...you need to connect the video content to your argument

    17. Constantly receiving, beeping, buzzing and blinking alerts wired to their social media accounts.

      fragment

    18. glued to

      in academic writing, try to avoid colloquialisms

    19. today’s day and age

      redundant

    20. enigma

      ?

    21. which carries out important stories that print does

      ?

    22. Is Social Media Affecting Teens Well Being?

      No need to repeat the title here.

    23. You should use headings to provide structure/organization and to serve as an aid to readers.

    24. www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/social-media-mental-health-negative-effects-depression-anxiety-addiction-memory-a8307196.html

      URLs should be hyperlinks

    25. Being

      question mark?

    1. And it is unfair to forcefully take information of anyone who doesn’t want their privacy being disrespected.

      Since many of these services are being provided at no-charge to users, why not just ask users who are uncomfortable with the idea of algorithms to not use the service? No one is being forced to contribute their data to these companies.

    2. These algorithms were originally produced to help us in our everyday tasks

      This paragraph would make more sense at the beginning of your paper.

    3. Algorithms will learn your different views and incorporate them into what you consume on a personal level.

      This would be a great place to introduce the concept of "filter bubbles."

    4. Citations

      Sources should be listed in alphabetical order by authors' last names.

    5. Problems with image display links

    6. Believing people should receive compensation for their contributions they are submitting which in part is ultimately granting businesses more revenue.

      sentence fragment

    7. algorithms”

      source?

    8. that

      who

    9. to a point of no return

      needs to be defined

    10. users based off of their

      you...your

    11. “geotargetting”. 

      This should link to the PK page, e.g. http://ebersolemedia.com/scalar/interactive-media-sp-2020/geotargeting Also, you misspelled Geotargeting

    12. and the unfair division of networks also known as net neutrality

      ?

    13. unknowingly

      Actually they are "knowingly" collecting data...but without the users' knowledge. Of course, whether algorithms are capable of "knowing" anything is up for debate...but of course I assume you mean the authors/owners of said algorithms.

    14. many

      Do ANY provide that right?

    15. liability

      ?

    16. right”.

      This quote needs some context and interpretation from you.

    17. quotes

      said,

    18. future

      and present

    19. Today algorithms have adapted and artificial intelligence (AI) has served as a new operation to their equations that equals YOU.

      Meaning of this sentence is unclear.

    20. a procedure for solving mathematical problems that involve finding the greatest common divisor in finite number sequences with repetition of operation

      source?

    21. Your paper needs headings to provide organization/structure and as an aid to readers.

    22. Spending the Future  

      Headings should use h3-level formatting. However, in this case the heading is simply a repeat of the title and is unnecessary.

    23. hbr.org/2019/01/how-retail-changes-when-algorithms-curate-everything-we-buy

      This URL should be a hyperlink like the others

    24. Video: https://youtu.be/GLfCfe6VVM4 

      YouTube video should be embedded

    1. References

      Good list of sources.

    2. Anonymous speech is something that is essential for modern day political debate.

      This feels like it needs a new paragraph (and heading).

    3. There

      Be consistent with indentation.

    4.  The 65-year-old Turing Test is successfully passed if a computer is mistaken for a human more than 30% of the time during a series of five-minute keyboard conversations.

      The use of present tense in this sentence feels awkward.

    5. but today this is the new reality

      Good introductory story to establish your thesis.

    6. They simply swap out control for regulate and there is a completely new sentence.

      Maybe they thought this is how one avoids plagiarism (just a little professorial humor there...very little)!

    7. . As

      Assuming both facts are credited to Schneier this should be one sentence.

    8. Ben Cason Term Paper

      This is where we should see the title of your paper, not the byline

    9. Good job with the links to PK topics

    10. https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-27762088

      URLs should be hypertext

    11. Your paper needs headings to provide structure and an aid to readers.

    12. (Lepowsky)

      image display issue

    1. TIKTOK

      need to be consistent regarding capitalization

    2. “TikTok has a bit of a complicated history. It's owned by a parent company called ByteDance, which is from China. ByteDance is one of the most valuable startups in the world. It's thought to be worth about $75 billion, which is massive. There are definitely concerns in the US about TikTok being a Chinese app that has become hugely popular in America, and, frankly, that's probably a mix of Americans being worried that their own homegrown companies, like Facebook, Google, etc., being outdone by a Chinese firm, but secondarily, you know, this concern feeds into the wider backdrop of the US-China trade war.”

      This lengthy quote feels like it repeats the points you made in the paragraph above.

    3. The app Musical.ly was an app that was similar to TikTOK because the company out of Beijing China ByteDance bought Musical.ly and exported the server data to China, the rebranded the app as TikTok and imported all the users from Musical.ly and used the users of ByteDance to push the new app for use in the United States, this push started out with cringe cosplay videos, and people dancing and has now morphed into the platform we see it as today.

      Be careful of run-on sentences.

    4. Ross

      sources should be listed alphabetically by last name

    5. URI error for missing media

    6. and all his user data for Twitter is kept in the United States.

      Okay, so this reinforces my earlier comment. Why is location of the server the defining issue?

    7. extreme

      Yes!

    8. which could lead us to war in the long run.

      Couldn't any public post on any social media platform run this same risk? Why is the data storage location the critical factor? Perhaps you're getting there, but I haven't seen the evidence yet.

    9. could lead quickly to the downfall of the United States

      Be careful of exaggeration.

    10. As seen above

      I thought for sure this was going to reference the Huawei logo/company.

    11. Good job incorporating PK topics and links to them.

    12. Next

      third? And why a paragraph break?

    13. service, another

      another comma splice

    14. You should be using headers to organize your paper and provide a guide to readers.

    15. links, the

      comma splice

    16. TIKTOK, User data, and a looming threat

      Same issue re capitalization

    17. User Data, and looming threat

      Be consistent with capitalization

    18. https://www.investopedia.com/articles/markets/032616/5-biggest-chinese-software-companies-chl-tcehy.asp

      These URLs should be hyperlinks

    1. quickly

      ...more here?

    2. Is it good? Is it bad?

      is this a real question?

    3. Coronavirus to explode from misinformation

      do you mean "misinformation about coronavirus information to explode"?

    4. actions

      decisions?

    5. a video of the paper

      this feels like satire

    6. https://wakelet.com/wake/0962d66d-afac-4357-8e6f-d0b0de855670https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-52157202https://www.cnet.com/news/with-coronavirus-hoaxes-flooding-social-media-governments-scramble-to-fight-misinformation/

      these citations do not comply with APA style

    7. buying

      hoarding?

    8. Reddit

      this could have been a link to a Pecha Kucha presentation

    9. Many companies have gone virtual allowing social media to be a necessary part for them to keep their business running in a way that employees are not at risk of contracting the virus to one another and others being in a work environment. The same is for schools, they are using different media platforms to communicate with students, hold lectures, meetings, and other operations that are usually done Face to Face. One industry being affected by Coronavirus is the book or literacy industry. According to Jim Milliot, the combination of limits on the size of public gatherings and a reluctance to travel led to most all author tours and events being canceled. B&N, for example, canceled all events through April 30. That left publishers to scramble to arrange virtual tours for its authors.

      Not sure how these paragraphs relate to your thesis

    10. devices

      Not sure what we're to do with this video feed from Time magazine. It needs context...you need to tell us what we're looking at, and why it is placed here in this spot in the body of your paper. Is it an example of true or false statements from the POTUS and VPOTUS? Is it an example of the kind of news stories that you saw on your social media feed?

    11. Since there were so many people wanting to be the first or cause a stir on social media.

      fragment

    12. Coronavirus vs COVID-19 Media

      I'm not sure what this headline means

    13. Misinformation spreads in a sense like this virus… quickly.

      Good point!

    14. are most likely to do what the president says no matter what platform it is received from

      evidence?

    15. from the CDC and the government

      CDC is government

    16. mediums

      Note: highlights without comment typically refer to spelling, grammar, or language issues

    17. journalist or reporter

      this could be a link to the PK about citizen journalism

    18. Social media can be an outlet for news but can be overwhelmed with non-credible information.

      Typically your first paragraph will end with your thesis statement, or a version of it.

    19. Your paper needs additional headings to provide structure, and as an aid to readers. You also need space before headings and paragraphs to provide some separation.

    1. Your paper needs headings to provide structure, and as an aid to readers.

    2. https://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/post-tribune/opinion/ct-ptb-davich-pew-research-factual-versus-opinion-statements-st-0127-story.html

      URLs should be hypertext

    1. byline?

    2. Your paper needs headings to provide structure, and as an aid to readers.

    3. www.politico.com/magazine/story/2015/09/2016-election-social-media-ruining-politics-213104

      URLs should be hypertext

    1. Your paper needs headings to provide structure and as an aid for readers.

    2. -Memes-Tiktok-Newsfeed-Stories

      These should be used in the context of the body of your paper, and hypertext linked to the PK entries.

    3. https://seopressor.com/blog/science-of-emotion-effective-social-media-marketing/

      URLs should be hypertext

    4. WORK CITED

      Works Cited

    1. Daniel Minich Term Paper

      This should be the title of your paper, not the byline

    2. Image display issues

    3. Your paper needs headings to provide structure and as an aid for readers

    4. hbr.org/2019/09/the-metoo-backlash

      URLs should be hypertext

    1. mid to early 1990s

      Actually well before that. See, A Brief History of VR, posted in Bb.

    2. Your paper needs headings to provide structure and navigation aids to readers.

    3. www.fi.edu/virtual-reality/history-of-virtual-reality

      URLs should be hyperlinks

    4. Work cite

      Works Cited

  2. Feb 2020
    1. This is a sample showing how you might format your multimedia term paper. The Title is automatically a level 1 header (large and bold). The section headings are formatted using H3 and subheads are H4. Images and image descriptions can be added to illustrate ideas mentioned in the body text. Quotes can be formatted as "pull-quotes" to draw attention. Hypertext links (see paragraph one) can link to website URLs or PK Presentations in Scalar. References can be hyperlinked to the original sources on the internet.

  3. Apr 2019
    1. Sources

      You were supposed to have a minimum of 7 sources, at least three of which were scholarly/peer-reviewed, and formatted using current standards, e.g. MLA or APA. Also, these sources should have been cited in the body of your paper...and of these only MLK quote was quoted (but not cited).

    2. can we cancel #JimCrow2018 in hopes it doesn’t spread into 2019 or any further

      ...JimCrow2019...spread into 2020...?

    3. maybe even distractivism and “stand” for otherwise.

      ?

    4. bs long drawn out stories about how truly sorry they are and this is not the person they want to be seen as and blah blah

      avoid colloquialism and slang in academic writing

    5. Thus, causing job loss, ruined reputations, and sometimes even death threats

      fragment

    6. How do publicly shame the person

      grammar

    7. publicly shamed

      Good job linking to other PK posted topics

    8. No description available.

      All media should have descriptions provided.

    9. The opening section (I'm going with paragraphs since you didn't include section headings) should conclude (not begin) with your thesis statement. Unfortunately your thesis statement does not establish a connection to any topic addressed in this class, and interactive media is not addressed until the fifth paragraph (where you mention social media and public shaming).

    1. References

      You were supposed to have a minimum of seven sources, and three of those were to be scholarly/peer-reviewed. Also, you were to use MLA or APA formatting for the list of references/sources. URLs should be hyperlinks. Also, all sources should be cited in the body of the paper.

    2. they should be removed and inactive

      ?

    3. you

      Hey, don't bring ME into this! :-)

    4. I believe that for now the rating system the Entertainment Software Rating Board has provided the consumers over the last 24 years should be kept in place it helps control what games get played by which age and it censors what goes into games.

      Finally...the thesis statement. But why here near the end of the paper? And why followed with a rebuttal?

    5. Apple

      Good attempt to link to the PK pages, but this is a bit of a stretch.

    6. anyone could access the computer

      heard of the "digital divide"?

    7. Knowing that the caution was there but they decided to not pay attention.

      fragment

    8. If they agree to the whole thing and say yes. The case is closed.

      ...and say yes, the case...

    9. even when the game is rated M, and most of the sequels to this game are rated M

      fragment

    10. It

      indenting should be consistent

    11. does not cross the lines of indecency

      It does cross a line for certain age groups...thus the need for ratings.

    12. rating

      ratings

    13. games like Mortal Kombat is kept out of the hand of young children

      I think this statement of fact would be challenged by many gamers.

    14. and the expectation of Everyone via content of game description

      ?

    15. Entertainment Software Rating Board

      You are about 750 words into your essay before you address the focus of your paper...the ESRB ratings system. The history of video games doesn't provide much important background or lay a foundation for your thesis statement and could be eliminated.

    16. mass

      number

    17. Until around

      From

    18. was

      were

    19. home.

      Why the line break and no indent?

    20. even though

      unnecessary, and creates a sentence fragment

    21. The first console that you could buy games and trade for was the Nintendo NES. Even though the console was about a foot and a half wide and weighed about 5 pounds it was loved by many. Games like Super Mario and Bubble Bobble were played by many kids and adults across the world.

      The first section should close with your thesis statement.

    22. atari

      Atari

    23. crazy

      I'm going with crazy!

    24. dawn of civilization there has been video games

      Really? Unless you mean the videogame Civilization by Sid Meiers :-)

    1. References

      Good job with the references...but some of the URLs need to be turned into hyperlinks

    2. Amanda Levendowski, a clinical teaching fellow at NYU’s law school questions AI further asking, “What does it mean for a journalist to obtain data both legally and ethically? Just because data is publicly available does not necessarily mean that it’s legally available, and it certainly doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily ethically available” (Lichterman). Levendowski continued by asking what being public means, citing the differences in public information disclosed on different social media platforms and the difference between a public account or a private account. “What does it mean when you feel comfortable disclosing personal information on a dating website versus your public Twitter account versus a LinkedIn profile? Or if you choose to make all of those private, what does it mean to disclose that information?”

      I think this graph needs a bit more explanation to connect the privacy concern to AI

    3. We need to be very aware that too much personalization crosses the line into a different activity

      exactly!

    4. Because they are built by humans, algorithms harbor human bias — and by examining them, we can discover previously unseen bias.

      very interesting

    5. Artificial intelligence will revolutionize journalism, but it will not be able to replace journalists. AI journalism is capable of writing about governmental announcements and statistics, it will allow journalists the freedom to report on news with more depth.

      Good job!

    6. prelusive

      hey, you introduced me to a new word! thx

    7. Great job!

    1. Work Cited:

      You were supposed to have a minimum of seven sources, and three of those were to be scholarly/peer-reviewed. Also, all sources should be cited in the body of the paper.

    2. Work

      Works

    3. As a self-regulated company updating rules can be done much faster.

      It feels like you were just getting started and then came to a screeching halt.

    4. contents on it are vast and many

      ?

    5. to

      too

    6. In this paper it will be explained and discussed why streaming platforms that host UGC should not be liable for the type of content that is posted on their site/platform. Content should be self-regulated by companies rather than the government so that the market (users, advertisers, and creators) can determine what content is appropriate.

      Good job with the thesis statement!

    7. opened

      ?

    8. protect

      protecting

    9. upload

      uploaded

    10. user-generated-content (UGC

      good job with the PK link

    11. provide to people to make connection continues

      ?

    12. Introduction

      H3

    13. At just over 600 words this essay is far short of the required range (1500-2000).

    1. web,2017

      space

    2. Sources

      Great job with your sources. Just one minor thing...they should be in alphabetical order by author's last name.

    3. The issue with all these incidents happening is that states and the government aren’t doing much to punish these offenders and these situations keep on occurring. These officers are getting away with murder. How can anyone be cool with this happening? Sure this paper may be one sided but how can anyone condone to the police actions and be okay with these injustices?

      Your conclusion should address interactive media and how it pertains to the issue rather than addressing police behavior and injustice. We understand that police are capable of injustice and that it happens, but the focus of your paper is how social media/interactive media is addressing the problem by using the power of recording, viral sharing and public shaming. The conclusion is where you make your closing argument...but instead you used it to re-litigate the problems that social media sharing is helping to address.