capitalize

Six of my classmates and I conducted.... OR Along with six classmates, I conducted... OR Together with six classmates, I conducted....

past tense

Provide synopsis. Imagine the reader is blind and cannot access the image.

Can you give an example of one way in which you altered your treatment plan for a child with this diagnosis?

Here is an example similar to my first comment: instead of "we were able to try on the device"--meaning that you had the opportunity, say instead "we tried on the device". The latter tells me what you did, the former tells me only that you were given the opportunity, but not necessarily that you took it. Let me know if this makes any sense.

jargon

When you write "I was able to...." it leaves the reader wondering if you actually engaged in the activity. The mere fact that you had the opportunity doesn't necessarily tell the reader that you DID do the activity. Think about what you are trying to convey with precision: you can write "I participated in many inservice opportunities". Can you tell the difference?

This is a side comment: when talking about your work with others, it is customary to include oneself last, i.e., you could rephrase this as "The physical therapist and I did not change....etc." This is just a suggestion for a more conventional style--putting others first before yourself in a sentence.

Provide synopsis

plural = sections

Capitalize formal names of sections

Provide synopsis

spell out

was

for me to become

After

What does it say? Provide a synopsis please!

explained

Please rewrite for clarity: I don't understand what you meant.

See previous

Not sure what you mean by this.

See previous comment on use of acronyms or abbreviations.

Don't assume the reader knows this acronym

Spell out first time and place in parentheses

Kudos! Lovely example to illustrate this criterion.

Please provide a specific example.

Provide a synopsis--see previous similar comment.

This is really beautiful; can you provide a specific example? The entire passage is rather broad. Lovely, but broad and general. Looking forward to reading about a specific instance.

Provide a reader the synopsis so that the reader doesn't have to look for the information in the image.

What a wonderful sentiment.

Bachelor (not possessive)

Plural

I understand what you are trying to convey but think of person-first language. People with varied diagnoses....etc.

Singular

Love this!

Update to reflect present

Please provide a synopsis

Provide a synopsis. Blur out the name of your classmate.

Please provide a synopsis

Give a little more detail so the reader doesn't have to try reading the "raw data" in the image.

If you were a manager at Erlanger, how would you feel if you came across the image below on the internet?

Please provide a synopsis

spell out

lowercase

Provide synopsis.

Please provide a synopsis of the image.

Since you posted a picture of the discussion board, provide a synopsis of the discussion.

Synopsis here please.

lowercase. See this article.

lowercase

Provide synopsis so reader doesn't have to re-read your discussion post.

Provide the synopsis of the post here.

Capitalize name of theory

Needs a bit more description and synopsis--otherwise the reader needs to read the image, and you don't want to make the reader have to do that!

No need to capitalize

Not necessary unless used again on the page (it is not)

Spell out

Lovely!

Nice example. Describe image below.

Great example

spell out

Give an example and describe image.

Great example!

Need specific example and synopsis of image.

Image on the right is sideways

Describe image

Provide specific example

whose?

See previous comments on providing synopses of images.

Can you think of a specific example in which you used these resources during FW?

Wonderful example!

See previous comments about images of discussion board posts.

Please shorten this.

See previous comments about examples and expectations of using screenshots of your discussion posts.

Provide a synopsis of the image. Don't expect the reader to have to read through all your discussion board posts for the salient points.

Please shorten this sentence. Also, provide an example, as well as a synopsis of the image below.

This is too general. Please provide a specific example and describe the image.

Can you provide a specific example? And explain the image.

Please describe what the image is saying.

Can you break down this long sentence into shorter sentences please? It's hard tfollow.

This is lovely!

Grammar

See previous comment about providing a specific example.

This is general--please provide a specific example.

This is good, but very general. Please provide a specific example. And please describe the artifact.

unnecessary word

This is jargon. Is there a better way to phrase this?

See previous comment

See previous comment.

Explain what the image is below. Image a person who is blind using a screen reader to access your website. They would not be able to read the image. You need to explain what it is and provide a brief synopsis.

This is lovely. Consider rewording it to reflect the past tense--by the time you graduate and potentially use this to showcase your achievements to a potential employer, this will be long ago. Also, it is a Master of Occupational Therapy program.

Please update this to reflect the present time. Also, it is a Master of Occupational Therapy degree.

past tense

chance?

past tense

past tense

not possessive

not possessive

spell out

not possessive

spell out

Please use past tense

grammar

Great. Please write in past tense.

past tense

past tense

Grammar

You already provided this as an example in another section. Can you be more specific with something you worked on, aside from documentation?

Please rephrase. Confusing.

spelling

The patient required maximal assistance. The patient wasn't maximal assistance.

Write in past tense please.

Use past tense.

Use past tense

Not possessive

spell out

spell out

Please be more specific about how the spinning wheel related to the specific criteria of contributing to the knowledge base of OT practice.

Please provide a specific example to illustrate.

spell out

Please rephrase for clarity and try to avoid repetitive words, e.g., made sure & ensure; coping skills & performance skills & community based skills. It is difficult to follow this sentence.

not possessive

spell out

Give an example of a credible source--e.g., a reference.

In my browser, the picture appears above the number 1, before the description.

spell out

past tense

past tense

can you find a synonym for the verb "report"? You use it repetitively in this section.

were

she wanted you to put them on personal items, or did not want you to do that? I don't understand the syntax.

not possessive

Give example. This is very broad and vague.

not possessive

not possessive

?

Nice

See previous comments about acronyms

spell out before using for the first time

Write in past tense.

What you described here does not relate to the professional community, but rather to your patients. The prompt is about your colleagues in the profession.

is this the right verb?

spell out

spell out. Don't know what these mean.

See previous comments about abbreviations. When used the first time on a page, spell out before placing in parentheses, ONLY if you are going to use it again on then page. Otherwise don't bother with the abbreviation in parentheses.

Nice!

Nice!

See previous comment

Please provide a brief synopsis of the contents of the image.

This is a nice reflection but does not answer the prompt about application of theory. What theory did you use to design your intervention?

This is also a bit confusing. Perhaps a picture or diagram of the 8 dimensions of wellness would help here.

Was this for the particular client, or in general?

This is a long sentence that confused me, especially the final clause about learning skills in OT. Please rewrite for clarity.

Word order. This is a lovely activity.

who?

grammar--promote to promote

Spell out. If used again, place acronym in parentheses.

Spell out before using acronym

Capitalize

The entire name of the degree needs to be capitalized

"this kid" "our kids" --comes off casual, unprofessional, and almost condescending. It can also become dehumanizing. Be more sensitive in this paragraph. It's a great story.

Add a space before Level 1 FW experience

Under professional work experience, write out technician

is independence the goal? or meaningful engagement? Just something to think about. Not everyone wants to be independent in all occupations--there is often a trade-off between the energy required and expended to perform something independently versus saving the energy for something more important

(OT)

delete word

Delete this "with"

Lovely

Acronym alert

previous

Nice

plural

he could benefit from OT services

place these words after "I hope"

past tense

did not benefit me

gave

plural

in

comma

us

place this after the words "work on"

plural

lost

perhaps state: having an illness or experiencing a traumatic event can be

plural

This is fantastic! Such a cute picture!

I

my

delete

were

He even did a little dance

on it was

place this at the end of the sentence, and drop "for"

talked

after

Rephrase

this should come after the words "early intervention"

throughout

demonstrate