Donovan’s speech
Livingston's
Donovan’s speech
Livingston's
Donovan Livingston Spoken Word Commencement
transition? topic sentence?
Anzaldua wanted to focus on her peopl
again, try to be precise: what is the purpose of the writing?
Those who are stuck between the borderlines of language in her native land, those who feel oppression through not communicating according to how others expect you to communicate
fragment
her fellow chicanos
okay--good. Please emphasis this group as one of her intended audiences
The audience can becom
have you identified the audience?
mexicanos
no italics for quotations, okay?
For long quotations, perhaps you can it apart?
How to Tame a Wild tongue is an autobiography
okay--good Please punctuate or italicize title
Even when she devoted her life to becoming a teacher to help progress the next generation forward.
note fragment
Genre is the theme
actually, genre is a classification or category
you are
why the shift to "you"?
falls
fall
nd felt as if he needed to invoke pride, and initiative into those who would hear his speech.
no post write?
ollins, Billy. “Billy Collins Commencement Address .” Billy Collins Commencement address . 19 May 2008, Colorado.
web address?
Note that these are to be alphabetized, so numbers not needed
Anzaldua, Gloria. How to Tame a Wild Tongue. https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdf
dates of publication and last visit?
Harvard Graduate School of Education. “Donovan Livingston’s Student Speech.” Facebook Watch, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 26 May 2016, www.facebook.com/HarvardEducation/videos/10153893399331387
not quite MLA format
Her purpose is to not give up,
see my earlier comment about what purpose really is
english
English
her genre is a autobiography,
yes: but I sense that this paragraph is rather jumbled. I'd like to see a sharper focus in this paragraph and the others
deprived of being themselves.
not sure what this means
Gloria Anzaldua lived in a time where being Latino or bilingual was a problem in Northern America.
I sense the need for a transition and topic sentence
only 13 minutes to be precise.
okay: good. This shows that he knows how to connect to his audience, right?
Collins purpose in his speech is to not worry about the past
his purpose is to inspire, to teach, right? Try to be more precise?
everyone
edit for mechanics
Livingston’s purpose is to try y
note that purpose is not message, okay?
zaldua is reaching out to anyone who understands being deprived to be themselves.
can you be more precise? Chicanas?
Billy Collins writing is a commencement speech, Donovan Livingston is also a commencement speech a
true but one include a poem and the other is spoken word poetry
with out
without
ence- who is the writer talking to? and a
edit for punctuation
challenging, you
note comma fault and why the shift to "you"?
sites sorted Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm. Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm. Anzaldua | Gloria E. Anzaldúa – Wikipedia. www.keyfora.com/search/anzaldua.
Works Cited: not in MLA format
major assignment #1:
draft #2?
Harvard College Graduates
future teachers: how does he appeal to this audience eight white clergymen: how does King appeal to that audience Collin's audience: how does he connect with them?
ail would be in letter form
why did he choose to write in this genre? why did Livingston choose to produce a spoken word poem?
Billy Collins and Donovan Livingston’s genre would be Commencement Speeches
true but both use poetry, a different genre, no?
The purpose of Donovan Livingston Commencement Speech is that he is Congratulating the Graduating Class 2016 from Harvard.
new paragraph? transition? or is just repeating the word "purpose" sufficient? isn't he doing more,, though? isn't he inspiriting, exhorting these teachers?
f you
why the shift to "you"?
http:/web.cn.edu/k.wheeler/documents/letter_BirminghamJail.pdf.)
not in MLA format
His purpose was to tell his story about getting arrested in Birmingham after he non violently protested segregation there. The purpose of his letter was to state why he was put in prison and why it was so wrong that he was put in jail.
didn't he have a larger purpose, though: to justify his campaign of non-violence?
in the passage Letter From Birmingham Jail,
in the "Letter from Birmingham Jail"
When writing a story, article, book, essay, or even a letter to a friend, we always face some kind of rhetorical situation. When a writer is in the process of developing work, they have a purpose, a certain audience, and a genre to follow. All are important elements and choices that we need to follow to get our main purpose across while writing to a certain audience.
I like the clear and informative way you upon this essay
Collins, Billy. Commencement speech. Graduation Wisdom, 19 May 20http://www2.colorado08, college.edu/commencement/BillyCollins.asp
date of publication and date of access
Livingston Donovan Commencement speech facebook, may 25th 2016.https://www.facebook.com/HarvardEducation/videos/10153893399331387
date of access?
I did not complete everything asked for in the first draft, I completed my writing on each author, and focused more on each concept.
can you answer all the questions from the post write template?
He immediately treats his audience with respect, while also quickly stating the reason for this letter. He’s able to do this professionally and makes every sentence count as a politician should.
good, sharp observation
christian
Christian
against, therefore
edit for comma fault, here and elsewhere
But there seems to be something else that’s able to captivate the audience that I’ve realized. As I read on, I’m noticing that in each work I review, there seems to be a recurring theme of freedom and limitation.
need to create a paragraph break--for your reader's sake?
Livingston harvard.edu)
just the author's last name is sufficient here
Poetry is the main genre used in this speech
yes: spoken word poetry
type of writer’s
type of writers
“In the 1960s, I read my first Chicano novel. It was City of Night by John Rechy, a gay Texan, son of a Scottish father and a Mexican mother. For days I walked around in stunned amazement that a Chicano could write and could get published. When I read I Am Joaquin’ I was surprised to see a bilingual book by a Chicano in print. When I saw poetry written in Tex-Mex for the first time, a feeling of pure joy flashed through me. I felt like we really existed as a people. In 1971, when I started teaching High School English to Chicano students, I tried to supplement the required texts with works by Chicanos, only to be reprimanded and forbidden to do so by the principal. He claimed that I was supposed to teach “American” and English literature. At the risk of being fired, I swore my students to secrecy and slipped in Chicano short stories, poems, a play. In graduate school, while working toward a Ph.D., I had to “argue” with one advisor after the other, semester after semester, before I was allowed to make Chicano literature an area of focus.” (Anzaldua 81)
do you have a particular reason for quoting this at length rather than summarizing?
inspire others who have been through a similar situation
yes: in large part, although she may be reaching out to those ignorant of the mestiza's plight?
Auto-Biographical genre
autobiographical--good
There’s an example of this
Can you be more precise in this transition?
When I looked at the works I needed to review for my writing class, (eng 101) I thought about this sort of genetic writing as I read them
I admit that I read this long introduction with some interesting and you write with voice. I just wonder , given the genre and the situation, you might in a later draft get to the task sooner? or make the connection to the task even more explicit?
In this way, writing style and ideas can be passed on like genes. When you use this genetic form of writing, rather than passing genes down from parent to child, you instead pass down ideas from author to audience.
I see--and, carrying the analogy further--the reader poses it along as well?
Although no one wants to see an entire piece
mind separating these paragraphs with a space between?
”If readers put too much emphasis on their own opinions, it can often put off the reader.
agreed--at least in academic genres
My theory involves how some written works are like genes; how style is passed on, adapted and mixed in order to present a strong message.
interesting: I hope to hear more
Letter From Birmingham Jail.
edit for mechanics: italicize title or putting title in quotation marks?
Borderlands: The Now Metiza,
actually a chapter
Once you find that link, that one small connection that you can make with your audience, you can create something truly amazing.
don't see a post write
Carson-Newmen University Aug. 1963, web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/letter_birmingham_jail.pdf.
use our web source?
Anzaldua, Gloria. Borderlands: The New Mestiza. 1987. Aunt Lute Books, 2007
use our web source?
breaking the rules
I have a feeling that this idea will be part of your Theory of Writing at some point.
According to The Martin Luther King Jr. Research and Education Institute at Stanford University, King’s letter was published in various periodicals including the New York Post and Ebony magazine
do you have an author or editor?
He used examples that were very audience specific, and compared segregation and racism to “condemning Jesus because His unique God-consciousness and never-ceasing devotion to His will precipitated the evil act of crucifixion” (King, 3). Using a very well-known and important example from the Bible would help the clergymen understand their actions in a way they would not have before
excellent
Martin Luther King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” is another great example of a written piece breaking the traditional rules of the decided genre.
another effective transition
he begins to seem like a more relatable character, rather than someone acting like they have all of the answers
yes--good
to his speech, however, h
edit for comma fault
While David Livingston was able to connect to his audience through both similar life challenges and being nearly at the same point in life as the graduating class, connecting to his audience so easily was an obstacle that Billy Collins had to overcome in his commencement address to the 2008 graduating class of Colorado College.
an interesting transition: I think it works
He is challenging the beliefs of the educators and causing them to reevaluate how they think about education. A
exactly
primarily being a poem, which was written and delivered in such a way that catered to his young-adult audience.
good
bent the rules i
the rules of the commencement genre? Of course he is delivering a spoken work poem: another genre entirely, right?
and they understood that breaking the rules of their genres in certain ways would positively affect the outcome of their works.
I really like the thoughtfulness of this opening paragraph--you are seeing connections--a good omen for your Theory of Writing
is importan
are all important
The Martin Luther King, Jr. Research and Education Institute. “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” Stanford University.https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/encyclopedia/letter-birmingham-jail Accessed 1 Feb. 2020.
why two King sources?
Were my transitions successful? Were my theory of writing and definitions of genre, audience, and purpose clear? Were my in-text citations done correctly?
good, focused questions
how breaking the rules of a genre can be important in order to make a piece interesting
good point
a free speech genre,
I don't understand
differece
typo
He is trying to inspire those who felt alienated as well or different
good
also to a revolution of educators
not sure I understand: his audience is made up of current and future teachers?
Donald Livingston
Donovan
defend a non-violent wa
yes, or justify
Kings purpose is to pursuade majorites
purpose. . . minorities
to the Birmingham clergy
eight, white clergymen: how does he appeal to them?
I feel the same with Martin Luther King.
I appreciate the effort at transition but I'm not sure I follow
This next passage is powerfully written.
which?
Note that you seem to be summarizing message here rather than analyzing by way of our three terms
A persons
a person's
In “How to tame a wild tongue” by Gloria Anzaldua I believe she was speaking to people of the Hispanic culture (chicanas
yes: good. But do you want to begin with a topic sentence that introduces all three terms?
pursaude
typo
sexism groups
not sure what you mean
Her genre of choice was an impactful speech of realism
can you be more precise? memoir? essay?
Whom do you
why the shift to "you"?
requires particular rhetorical moves” (Blau and Burak 3). T
Thanks for drawing from the textbook--but can you explain what the authors are saying?
“How to tame a wild tongue” by Gloria Anazaldua https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdf “Letter to Birmingham” by Martin Luther King https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Letter_Birmingham_Jail.pdf “Lift off” by Donovan Livingston https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/16/05/lift “Writing in the works” by Burak and Blau
not in MLA format
What can I do to come up with a better theory? Are my transitions okay ? Can you tell clearly what the genre,audience and purpose are for each source
all good, helpful questions
This assignment allows us to go beyond just summarizing and has us analyze deeper into our three sources. This assigment really makes you think but also allows you to see the bigger picture with genre,audience and purpose.
nicely put
All three authors (sources) succeeded in engaging the audience
Will this idea be at the core of your Theory of Writing?
In Linguistic Terrorism, Anzaldua notes how Chicanos suffer from low self-esteem because of pressure existing ever since childhood to conform. She adds, “If a person, Chicana or Latina, has a low estimation of my native tongue, she also has a low estimation of me”(39).
note the extensive summary here and elsewhere
She goes on to describe the Spanish purists who disdained her Chicano dialect not only because it incorporates English words – “the language of the oppressor” – but because it is not pure Spanish (35).
note how thin some of these paragraphs are. Might you develop or shape them further?
For example, Sarah Stanley, in the Journal of Basic Writing provides the literal English translation of, “El Anglo con cara de inocente nos arranco la lengua.”
I'm impressed that you are drawing from a peer reviewed article.
However, although her essay may have broad appeal, her target audience includes anyone seeking to impose conformity, those who acquiesce to conformity, and those resisting conformity (especially “Los Chicanos”).
well stated
Anzaldua speaks to a wide audience in her essay/chapter (genre), “Tame a Wild Tongue”
Can you provide a transition?
King hopes to rouse them to action but not to violent action.
exactly--good
This leads to King’s main point which is, “Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.
notice your emphasis on summary rather than analysis
King’s premise of the oppressed not voluntarily giving up power (freedom) holds true even today!
as interesting and current as this is, I sense that you have lost the thread of your analysis, no?
he Letter genre King selects is a pragmatic choice. Because the letter eventually gained national prominence, it makes his choice of genre wise indeed.
why a letter rather than, say, an essay? What is distinctive about the letter genre?
While King’s letter is ostensibly aimed at the clergymen, he was speaking to the entire newspaper readership (audience) – just as the clergymen had in their letter
will you show he manages to connect with these men?
above Wikipedia source
cite source (original source)
The following Wikipedia excerpt sets up King’s Letter very well: The Birmingham campaign began on April 3, 1963, with coordinated marches and sit-ins against racism and racial segregation in Birmingham, Alabama. The nonviolent campaign was coordinated by the Alabama Christian Movement for Human Rights (ACMHR) and King’s Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC). On April 10, Circuit Judge W. A. Jenkins issued a blanket injunction against “parading, demonstrating, boycotting, trespassing and picketing.” Leaders of the campaign announced they would disobey the ruling.[1] On April 12, King was roughly arrested with … other marchers, while thousands of African Americans dressed for Good Friday looked on.[2] King was met with unusually harsh conditions in the Birmingham jail.[3] An ally smuggled in a newspaper from April 12, which contained A Call for Unity, a statement by eight white Alabama clergymen against King and his methods.[2] The letter provoked King, and he began to write a response to the newspaper itself. King writes in Why We Can’t Wait: “Begun on the margins of the newspaper in which the statement appeared while I was in jail, the letter was continued on scraps of writing paper supplied by a friendly black trusty, and concluded on a pad my attorneys were eventually permitted to leave me” (par.2).
why quote at length information meant for context? Can you summarize and or paraphrase parts? The long quotation stalls your analysis, I believe.
He then offers a mini-message, “Then there is global warming — it should be called “global roasting,” “warming” is too comforting — ” (Collins par.3). This observation would be more humorous if it wasn’t more relevant now than in 2008. Regardless, Collins’ main message is about taking Time in our lives to be Grateful.
to try stay away from summary and continue your analysis by way of our three terms, okay?
He then uses humor (pre-law students checking their watches to time his 13 minute speech) to engage his audience.
good
Collins starts his speech with part of a poem – about gratitude (and roses)
does he? or does he end with a pome-- "The Lanyard"?
authors use several mechanisms to achieve engagement. Blaua and Burak, in Writing in the Works , devote a whole section to ‘Creating Your Voice’ as a means of engaging the reader (8). They point out tone is an important element of voice and it should be consistent with the genre and message selected for the audience (8).
I like the way you use the textbook here.
– the message will be lost on them.
indeed--too true
Sometimes the author is constrained in their selection of audience. For example, the author has little, if any, control over the audience when asked to give a commencement address. In this instance, the author only has latitude in selecting the purpose and genre. Similarly, when providing an editorial response, the message and genre may be somewhat constrained to statements made in the original piece.
This is a very thoughtful approach to our terms. Nice
he Purpose of a writing is the message(s
try to distinguish between "purpose" and "message," okay? they are related but they are different, right?
Audience
these sub headings are so helpful--again, reader-friendly
‘Genre’ means a classification of related objects. These definitions of genre both classify objects into types.
good
Blaua and
Blau and
This assignment serves to compare three sources of writing (particularly with respect to genre, audience and purpose). First I’ll define the three key terms and how they relate. Then I’ll relate these terms to each other before explaining how each writing successfully conforms to my theory of writing.
very clear and reader-friendly
“Letter from Birmingham Jail”. Wikipedia. En.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letter_from_Birmingham_Jail. Accessed 2/15/2020
note sure why you have two King sources
Collins, William.
He goes by "Billy," I believe
Anzaldua, Gloria . “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”. WWW.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdf. Accessed 2/15/2020.
date of publication?
Works Cited
good form: no need to number, however. You will need to alphabetize
I chose to organize the assignment in Whole-to-Whole method
Thanks for identifying this structure.
When you begin writing you must know your audience in order to decide on a genre and understand the purpose of your writing in order to successfully develop your writing
good, developing theory
The genre of this essay is all about identity
can you be more precise? memoir, essay, poem
pose is she emphasizes
is to educate and encourage?
people speaks
speak
eaches his audience by relating to them
yes but how exactly?
Livingston genre is a poem.
why does he choose a poem to appeal to his audience?
the poem s
capitalize
His audience is future educators.
good
In 2016, Donovan Livingston delivered a convocation speech to Harvard Graduate school of education that went viral and received national attention.
can you rephrase as a topic sentence and provide a transition?
making this connection he captures the audience because he mentions something that relates to them.
can you say more about this, giving evidence?
he intended audience is King’s fellow clergy because he wrote specifically to them, King states “At first I was rather disappointed that fellow clergymen would see my nonviolent efforts as those of an extremist” (King
good--how does he tailor his language to appeal to this audience?
to defend the strategy of nonvio
good
is a letter.
why a letter--can you say more?
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. wrote a Letter from Birmingham Jail in 1963 where he was imprisoned as a participant in nonviolent demonstrations against segregation
yes but could you rephrase as a topic sentence that will include our key terms?
be able to identify genre, purpose and the intended audience in each piece and present evidence to back up my claims from the sources listed above.
fragment, here, too
Which all plays a part the rhetorical situation which will come to play when analyzing my sources Martin Luther King “Letter from Birmingham Jail”, Donovan Livingston Spoken Word Commencement Address at Harvard and Gloria Anzaldua “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”.
note fragment
what point is the authors message/purpose?
author's not sure I understand
is stated in Writing in the Works,”…you make the choice of genre by analyzing the rhetorical situation. Each of the elements-genre, purpose, audience, voice, design-are interrelated”
good use of text but note the fragment
In this sense, audience and purpose and genre all work together
this is an important idea--too bad it is buried in the middle of this paragraphj--hope you revisit it later
your audience
why the shift to "your"?
Anzaldua, Gloria. How to Tame A Wild Tongue. https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdf Last accessed 6 February 2020
pretty good MLA format (date of publication?)
Some writing skills I touched based with was outlining my essay. I broke up my essay into portions and incorporated where I want certain things to be placed in certain paragraphs to help shape my essay.
good idea
he three speeches they all try to connect to their personal experiences with the audience.
yes, exactly: perhaps you can show that above?
he purpose of Martin Luther King Jr’s Letter from Birmingham Jail is to state why he was put in prison
okay or more precisely to justify his non-violent campaign?
would be the eight white religious leaders of the South that he was responding to as stated at the beginning of the text
good--can you say how he appeals to this audience?
s in fact a letter
okay; can you say what makes a letter different from other genres?
The purpose of Billy Collins commencement speech is a very complex one to grasp due to what he says for instance,
purse refers to what the writing is doing: inspiring, teaching and so forth
https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm)
not in MLA format
I am going to speak for 13 minutes. I think you deserve to know that this will be a finite experience. It is well-known in the world of public speaking that there is no pleasure you can give an audience that compares to the pleasure they get when it is over, so you can look forward to experiencing that pleasure 13
okay--can you connect this passage with his appeal to his audience?
ld unmistakably be Harvard College Graduates
yes and can you say how he appeals to this audience?
two sense
two cents?
genre would be Graduation Speech or Commencement Speech
yes now can you say what the features of a commencement address are?
As seen, do to the fact this is a recorded event, you can find on Facebook.
note fragment
the why of the story. What is the point of the story and why was it made? Whatever that answer might be, is the purpose.
again, try to be more precise and accurate: purpose is what the writing is doing--not really the message but how and why the message is conveyed. See textbook?
sci-fi movie with sci-fi being the genre
yes--good
Star Trek
"Star Trek"
A genre is the subject that is analyzed
not really: you're right later on when you define it as a category of writing: please rephrase?
the authors tells
the authors tel
Mainly looking into these three articles that will be used throughout the assignment.
note the fragment
this work did not remind me of anything I have done in the past what new with this draft is that I added a better conclusion and put in my theory of writing I drawn my knowledge from the source material and tutors I decided to went over my grammar The question I have for my readers is simply, do they think its any good
Can you spend more time with this?
Collins, Billy. Commencement speech. Graduation Wisdom, 19 May. 2008, https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm . Accessed February 2020. King, Martin Luther, Jr. Letter from Birmingham., August 1963 accessed February 2020. Jailhttps://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Letter_Birmingham_Jail.pdf . Livingston Donovan Commencement speech facebook, may 25th 2016.https://www.facebook.com/HarvardEducation/videos/10153893399331387 accessed February 2020
good MLA form
And how Gloria Anzaldua that her fellow Chicanos that they shouldn’t give up their own language for another language because people that are not Chicanos think that their language is superior but to keep their language because that’s what they grew up with.
still looking for a Theory of Writing that connects these terms
other Chicano people that have been through the same struggle has her as to how somehow the English lan
good
The genre this story about her life would be a poetry of how she was treated differently because she would only know how to speak her native Chicano Spanish and how she would be treated differently by other adults and other children because she wasn’t able to speak the best of English and how people would put her down most of the time because of it and scold her on that she needs to be able to speak perfect English to be able to be in North America.
please edit and try to be more precise: the genre is poetry or is it memoir with poetry inserted?
In the piece called “How to Tame A Wild Tongue” Gloria Anzaldua talks about growing up learning English and how speaking Spanish got her in trouble a bundle of times and how she was forced to speak Engl
transition? topic sentence?
But as I continued to think about the matter, I gradually gained a bit of satisfaction from being considered an extremist. Was not Jesus an extremist in love? — “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use you.” Was not Amos an extremist for justice? — “Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.” Was not Paul an extremist for the gospel of Jesus Christ? — “I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.” Was not Martin Luther an extremist? — “Here I stand; I can do no other so help me God.” Was not John Bunyan an extremist? — “I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I make a mockery of my conscience.” Was not Abraham Lincoln an extremist? — “This nation cannot survive half slave and half free.” Was not Thomas Jefferson an extremist? — “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.” So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate, or will we be extremists for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice, or will we be extremists for the cause of justice?” (King, 2
This long quotation seems to overwhelm your paragraph and paper: please select parts and comment on their relevance? I'm really not sure how this passage helps support your rhetorical analysis of genre, audience, and purpose
inform that segregation will not end by saying it will end soon but when will it end and informing the religious leaders on how the religious figures they believe in also were treated how African Americans were being treated currently during that time.
see my earlier comment about inserting a topic sentence that includes all three terms?
letter from the Birmingham jail th
edit for mechanics: "Letter from Birmingham Jail"
One of the quotes that prove he aims this speech towards the students that are graduating is when tries to relate to the students as he says “I am going to speak for 13 minute
good--can you move that with the section on audience?
Explains that the present is important.
fragment
even to inspire them
good
target audience would be the kids that are graduating from the college or can be used for young people in general as
good, now can you say more about how Collins connects with that special audience?
The Genre of the piece would be defined as a commencement address.
good. Now can you say more about what the genre usually includes?
In the Billy Collins, commencement address Message
In his commencement address, Billy Collins. . .
I would suggest starting with a topic sentence that uses or three terms, no?
you always
why the shift to "you"?
Reading, Singing,
edit for capitalization, here and elsewhere?
Purpose in my terms would be defined as what the writer is trying to do to make the reader read what the writer has written like how some writers will try to amuse the reader in to keep reading the passage that the writer has written.
okay: what the writing is doing?<br> you might want to edit this long sentence
Starting off we will be defining the key terms of what they are defined as,
not sure I follow: rephrase for clarity?
Then lastly in my conclusion, I will paraphrase my theory of writing and how it all works with all the experts I used to show why they have successful writing in them.
This intro paragraph is helpful, if needing editing
be picking about
rephrase for precision and clarity?
n this current assignment, I’ll be discussing a plethora of things that summarize the idea of writing by naming and defining some of these key terms and Analyzing sources from specific readings from experts and defining them and how some of these key terms are used in these readings.
Informative but do you think you might trim this long sentence down? or break it up?
and Analyzing s
note capital
Anzaldúa, Gloria. “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”. Borderlands / La Frontera: The New Mestiza. Aunt Lute Books, 2012. Print.
use web address, since that is the version you read
King, Martin Luther, Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” 16 Apr. 1963. Web. Feb 7, 2020
include web address
Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm.
not quite in MLA format (and remember to alphabetize by author's last name, okay?
His purpose for this speech was to let these people understand that basically, we are superhuman, we are just human. We cannot predict the future and we cannot change the past. So why stress so much about things we have no control over?
Do you talk about his knowledge of the genre (actually, I don't see genre figuring in the draft at all, I believe.
or Billy Collins commencement speech, he is telling these graduates about how there is no point in worrying about the future.
revise topic sentence to get you back on task?
To listen to what their students have to say instead of getting upset or annoyed and work with them.
note fragment
In Donovan Livingston’s speech, his audience is targeted to educators who hold back their students.
good observation transition?
experience with racism, feeling outcasted by her peers and her own culture, and even her self identity
Can you use your topic sentence to focus this analysis using the three terms? I'm concerned that you are off task early on
In Gloria Anzaldua’s “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”, she
In her. . . Anzaldua discusses