8,270 Matching Annotations
  1. Oct 2020
    1. King directs his letter to the Clergymen that criticized the timing of his movement to eradicate segregation.

      yes--good. But before moving on can you provide evidence from the letter to show how King reaches out to his audience?

    2. Martin Luther King Jr.

      Kong's Collins' Livingston's

    3. you

      why the shift to "you"?

    4. genre is the technique

      more precisely, genre is a category or kind of composition

    5. it’s the writers reason for writing the piece.

      more precisely: what the writing is doing note the use of comma instead of period or semicolon writer's

    6. Post Write:

      Please use the post write template?

    7. When I started I found it a little challenging breaking the pieces down

      can you elaborate?

    8. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htmKing, Martin L. Letter from Birmingham Jail. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1994. PrintHarvard Graduate School of Education. (2016, May 26). Donovan Livingston’s Student Speech. Retrieved September 30, 2020, from https://www.facebook.com/HarvardEducation/videos/10153893399331387

      not in MLA format

    1. They play off of each other

      how so? please elaborate

    2. easily connect with an audience who grew up or lives in similar circumstances, which are quite a lot of people, especially Mexican immigrants

      try to be more precise--Chicanas (not just immigrants).

    3. Anzaldua’s genre is about freedom,

      you seem confused between genre and message

    4. Gloria Anzaldua is a grows up in a Mexican family on the border of Mexico and The United States, s

      please revise for transition and topic sentence

    5. King knows his audience and can easily relate to them since he is a man of God himself, he is able to relate to them and bring up points that will grab the clergymen’s attention.

      good--please show how he reaches out to this audience

    6. Martin Luther King Jr. is arrested and sent to Birmingham jail after one of his peaceful public protests,

      Can you revise this to provide a more helpful transition and topic sentence?

    7. o inspire the students w

      good

    8. to grow a connection with his audience and be a lot more down-to-earth and relatable to the newly graduated students

      yes--good. How exactly does he do this--please elaborate and quote evidence

    9. Billy Collins, 2008.

      author's last name will suffice in parentheses

    10. the audiences

      audience's

    11. had expectations

      yes--can you elaborate what those are?

    12. So Collins goes against the status quo of a typical address to make his stand out to the audience,

      good point

    13. other commencement addresses, Collins fu

      please use period to separate sentences?

    14. In order to be a successful and memorable writer, the writer needs to create a connection with not only their own words, but more importantly, their genre, audience, and the purpose of their writing. Three writers who exceed in doing all three of there things are; Billy Collins, in his Commencement Address at Colorado College, Martin Luther King Jr., in his Letter from Birmingham Jail, and Gloria Anzaldua, in her “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”. 

      please skip a line between paragraphs for ease of reading?

      Have you defined the terms?

    15. Letter from Birmingham Jail

      punctuate for title?

    16. who exceed

      succeed?

    17. you cannot have just two without the last, it all must come together like a beautiful tapestry, a work or art.

      I see no post write.

    18. Citations: Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm. Anzaldua, G. (n.d.). How to Tame a Wild Tongue. https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdf King, Martin L. Letter from Birmingham Jail. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1994. Print

      not quite in MLA format

    1. The genre of this work is narrative

      can you say more about this and quote for support? Doesn't she introduce other genres as well? autobiography? academic essay? poetry?

    2. express and bring attentio

      to teach, express, educate, persuade?

    3. As her intended audience the Chicano readers Anzaldua also targets the Americans to understand Chicano life and to adjust to their language.

      yes--good

    4. her audience in my understanding is her Mexican/Hispanic heritage, mestizas as she calls them.

      mestizas or Chicanas--yes.

    5. he genre of this commencement is the message

      the two are different, no? genre different from message. what is the genre here or what are the genres, since we have a spoken word poem here? Please quote in support

    6. also trying to reach the current and future students alongside teachers a

      yes--good--evidence?

    7. n works of Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement Address at Harvard, I

      Rephrase. In his "Spoken Word. . ." Livingston tries to reach. . . .

    8. his audience were the students in Colorado college, current and future student

      yes--but can you give evidence as to how Collins reaches out to that audience?

    9. The genre of this work is graduation speech

      okay--good. But note how he makes fun of the cliches of the genre? Please quote to show that.

    10. “Carpe diem poetry urges us to seize our days, to carpe our diems simply because we do not have an unlimited supply of diems given to us.” “… carpe diem quam minimum credula postero — seize the day and trust little in the future.”

      please cite author (even though we know who that is) and try to lead into the quotation with a signal phrase (As Collins states, " )

    11. nform and provide information

      yes--good

    12. As well as faculty, staff, parents, relatives, friends, and students outside of Colorado college

      not a sentence

    13. Billy Collins, Commencement

      Collins' Livingston's Anzaldua's

    14. To express oneself, to provide information, to persuade, or to create a literary work.

      yes--good--but note this is not quite a sentence

    15. All writer has a purpose

      All writers? All writers have?

    16. Also, by guiding the purpose of the writers writing and determining how difficult or how simple the writing should be.

      not quite a sentence writer's writing

    17. a subcategory which falls on a specific category.

      not sure I understand

    18. n literature

      in literature and other forms of communication, right? I like what this opening paragraph is doing--it sets the stage nicely

    19. as to pull my audience in to my assignment.

      interesting--can you say more about how you did this?

    20. Collins, B. (n.d.). Billy Collins Commencement Speech. Retrieved September 29, 2020, from https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm   Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement Address at Harvard https://www.facebook.com/HarvardEducation/videos/10153893399331387 Anzaldua, G. (n.d.). How to Tame a Wild Tongue. https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdf

      Close to MLA format but not quite there Pease give full first names and include dates where given (you have them all). And alphabetize the list

  2. hbrody11.edublogs.org hbrody11.edublogs.org
    1. These three terms all correlate with each other

      can you show that correlation, precisely?

    2. helps different people identi

      who is the intended audience and how do we know?

    3. genre, or message,

      see my comments above about your confusing these terms

    4. The genre of this speech is more of a message

      you are confusing genre with message, right? What is the genre here or genres? Commencement speech, spoken word poem--provide evidence in support of that analysis?

    5. explains a purpose for his speech, which is to encourage students, educators,

      good

    6. The audience he is trying to reach is the graduating class at Harvard, as well as many high school and college students across the country.

      okay--and teachers. Please give evidence to show how he reaches out to that audience--quote and comment for support

    7. Donovan Livingston’s Spoken Word Commencement Address at Harvard University also has such great value

      I appreciate the attempt at transition but can you make it more meaningful? perhaps tie value to the good understanding of our three terms

    8. The genre that this letter portrays is speech/ spoken word.

      not sure I understand--this was written in the genre of a letter, mean to be read, right? Why a letter and not an essay or sermon?

    9. he purpose for writing this letter from prison was in response to the criticism of the nonviolent protests in Birmingham, Alabama in April 1963.

      yes--good

    10. The very first topic he begins writing with is calling the clergymen people of “genuine goodwill” and acknowledging the sincerity of their concern,

      okay--can you give evidence showing how King reaches out to these eight clergyment?

    11. The letter was written for an audience, especially students w

      sorry--no. This was written as a response to eight clergymen

    12. as they explain the values of English literature throughout texts, writings, and even commencement speeches. 

      i don't see a Works Cited list

    13. letter from the Birmingham jail

      please punctuate and capitalize as appropriate for a title

    14. udience is a particular group of readers who read a piece of writing, as well as for whom the writer writes for. The term genre refers to a category of literature identified by either form, content, or style. This allows students to mainly classify compositions within the larger aspect of literature. The term audience can refer to many topics such as spectators, listeners

      Thanks for these useful definitions. I do note the need for some transitions or connectors from sentence to sentence, don't you? The sentences seem abrupt and choppy to me. Still this paragraph's meaning and purpose are clear.

    1. depend on one another

      can you elaborate?

    2. intending to reach educators

      exactly--good

    3. to educating his audience

      his purpose, in part--yes

    4. genre of Livingston’s address is a commencement address

      yes--but it also is in the genre of a spoken word poem, no? How does that change the genre up?

    5. that his audience

      can you give evidence as to how well Collins understands his audience?

    6.  The reason for Collins’s purpose is his audience: college graduates.

      not sure I understand--these two seem very different

    7. purpose of Collin’s writing is to inspire

      good

    8. e is also offering his opinion on what qualities should be in a commencement address,

      can you say more about what those qualities might be?

    9. as those mentioned above are often used to communicate respect towards others, implying that King intends to reach his audience with honor and dignity.

      exactly--good. Can you provide more evidence as to how King reaches out to this specific audience?

    10. King uses phrases such as “my fellow Christian and Jewish brothers” and “dear fellow clergymen” to indicate his specific audience. P

      yes--good.

    11. (King 1963)

      thanks for the in-text citation. In MLA the date is not necessary in text.

    12. purpose in King’s letter is to respond

      yes--that's true

    13. at the genre of his work is, in fact, a letter a

      yes--but can you say more about how the genre creates certain expectations? why write a letter and not a sermon or an academic paper?

    14. In King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” he

      In his "Letter". . . . King. . . .

    15. Ethos, pathos, logos.

      I wonder what the relationship might be between these three "rhetorical appeals" and our three terms, which are part of the "rhetorical situation."

    16. are trampled

      not sure "trampled" is the word you want

    17. Each one of these authors and their works of literature use genre, purpose, and audience to create successful writing that well exceeds the ordinary expectations of communication.   

      good, helpful thesis statement

    18. Post Write:

      for ease of reading, might you break up this into paragraphs?

    19. I also drew upon my awareness of audience, because I needed to be able to put myself in the shoes of an audience member to write this essay. 

      good--any particular challenge in meeting that audience's needs?

    20. “Spoken Word Commencement at Harvard University.”

      I believe that the formal title is "Lift Off"

    21. Works Cited

      pretty good MLA form in this list

    1. The relationship between all three is that they are all very specific in writing, and they all go well together and make the writing easier and better to understand.

      yes--but can you be more precise? For example, is there a link between audience and genre? what might that be?

    2. reading the letter to clergymen,

      yes--please provide evidence that he understands his audience

    3. o inspire his audience as well as educate them b

      yes--good

    4. audience include the graduates of his class, families, teachers, and alumni

      yes but isn't he reaching out to teachers (and their students)? Please give evidence as to how we know this?

    5. and the audience is clearly shown as the graduates of 2008.

      yes--but can you provide evidence that he understands his audience?

    6. he genre of this piece is a graduation speech

      Can you slow down and talk about what this genre usually includes--the expectations that come with the genre? You seem to be moving too quickly in your analysis

    7. graduation speech, he

      edit for comma fault--use period to separate sentences?

    8. while giving his speech

      while he gives his speech

    9. writers job

      writer's

    10. because it allows the writer to create a relationship with the people who are reading.

      nicely put

    11. Sources: Billy Collins, Commencement Address at Colorado CollegeMartin Luther King Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail” Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement 

      not in MLA format

    1. n conclusion within literature and other forms of art, writers and artistic minds alike use devices to convey emotion. Although different every author had their own reason for writing and crating their art. I have touched upon a lot of examples above in hope that we all can understand and become better audience members.

      this seems thin to me and doesn't begin to formulate a Theory of Writing

    2. se is to let a group of people who wouldn’t normally understand Chicano Spanish speakers to take a glance into their world

      to teach or inform them? yes

    3. The genre of this piece of literature would have to be Culture.

      see comments above

    4. I think this perfectly encapsulates her intended audience

      I agree--good

    5. audience member would have to be Anglo people as she wants them to understand her struggles

      nice

    6. audience would have to be undoubtedly Chicano Spanish speakers.

      good

    7. With all addresses the speaker is try to bestow some of their knowable upon a younger more impressionable audience. The general idea being that if they can know what has plagued the speaker in his life maybe they’ll have a better chance of avoiding it. Thus Collin’s reason for making this is because he doesn’t want other people to struggle with what he had to go threw.

      you seem to lose your focus away from purpose to theme or message

    8. Going off of my previous definition genre the main point or theme of his address is time.

      see my earlier comments about genre, which you seem to confuse with theme and other concepts

    9. The letter was made in response to a opposing open letter “A call for Unity” written by eight local white clergymen

      Yes: can you show evidence from the letter that King is mindful of his audience? Please quote and comment

    10. thus his intended audience are these students

      yes--what evidence is there that he understands how to reach his audience?

    11. intend audience.

      intended

    12. hole letter.

      whole

    13. genre or main point that this letter makes very clear, is Irony.

      You don't seem to understand the term "genre." It is a category of composition: in this case, a letter. What are the expectations that a letter include?

    14. will now continue to examine MLK’s letter, and focus on the Genre of his work

      Okay--I appreciate the attempt at transition and topic sentence

    15. human’s

      all humans

    16. The first piece of literature I would like to examine is Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail”. It’s quite a moving piece directed at his fellow Christian

      I take it that this paragraph will focus on audience in King's letter--can you revise the topic sentence to reflect that fact?

    17. clergymen, this

      Use period instead of comma to separate sentences?

    18. to Analyze

      why capitalize?

    19. Luther King Jr.

      Jr's

    20. writers intention

      punctuation: writer's

    21. tropes,

      What does this word mean to you?

    22. by it’s themes,

      edit for mechanics: its

    23. as A Category

      why capitals?

    24. you the writer

      why the use of "you" here?

    25. witch

      typo

    26. These devices being audience, genre, and purpose.

      not quite a sentence

    27. Collins, B. (n.d.). Billy Collins Commencement Speech. Retrieved September 29, 2020, from https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm

      There is a date for the speech--not quite MLA format. Please alphabetize.

    28. Anzaldua, G. (n.d.). How to Tame a Wild Tongue.

      not complete or in MLA format

    29. King, M. L., Jr. (1963, April 16). Letter from Birmingham Jail [Letter].

      not quite in MLA format

    1. GLORIA ANZALDUA How to Tame a Wild Tongue. english1103fall.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/howtotameawildtongue-2-1101.pdf. “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” Letter from Birmingham Jail, by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., letterfromjail.com/. “Commencement Address.” Colorado College, www.coloradocollege.edu/other/commencement/resources/2008/collins_address.html.

      not in MLA format

    2. he genre of this speech is trying to motivate the graduating class of 2008.

      you seem to be confusing genre and purpose, no?

    3. The main audience was king white companion clergymen because he wrote especially to them.

      good--can you give evidence that he is thinking of that audience?

    4. the king

      King

    5. The genre was the valuable words and impressive dialogue he used in his letter.

      His genre is the letter.

    6. Then, I am talking about the king’s “Letter” written from the Birmingham jail in Alabama

      Can you work on this topic sentence and transition? It should b saying more, no?

    7. The author pays great attention to the problems of Chicanos, Mexican-Americans who are struggling in defining themselves considering national and cultural aspects.

      Have you defined the genre?

    8. “If you want to be American, speak ‘American. ‘ If you don’t like it, go back to Mexico where you belong.” T

      good quotation: please cite author's last name. What is your purpose for quoting this, exactly? What are you trying to show?

    9. audience was Chicano readers

      good

    10. First of all, I am talking about Gloria Anzaldua, a good example that proves: a person’s language is the key to identity.

      Can you rephrase and repunctuate this important topic sentence and transition? "I'd like to begin with Gloria Anzaldua, whose "How to Tame a Wild Tongue proves that a person's language . . .

    11. three sources are relationships with those t

      rephrase: relate to one another

    12. Also, I am explain How

      rephrase: I intend to explain

    13. Genre, Audience, and purpose include those three key terms in your writing are very important to have a successful piece of writing.

      please edit for clarity: punctuation and grammar (you seem to be missing a subject

    14. without an audience it is worthless of writing

      note need to capitalize at the start of your sentence I also think that the phrase "worthless of writing" needs to be revised for clarity, right?

    15. who you are

      why the use of "you" hear?

    16. genres help organize information so that they can easily make sense of what they are  about to read.

      good

    17. a working and making relationship with readers

      sorry--phrasing makes this difficult to follow

    18. Genre, Audience, and purpose those three terms are key to the writing.

      Note the need to punctuate between "purpose" and the rest of that sentence

  3. Apr 2020
    1. todays society

      today's

    2. So what does it mean to raise a child with Autism

      I see your question here: ask it earlier and perhaps more precisely?

    3. One of the last major troubles that are faced by individuals and the families are the fact that there are therapy’s that needed to be put in place such as Early Intervention and ABA

      not sure I get your meaning

    4. therapy’s t

      therapies

    5. For my personal Interview I interviewed the father of my child Bryan Valentin

      I recommend starting paragraphs with a topic sentence, as here--that captures the main topic of the paragraph

    6. similar to that experienced by others whose differences set them apart. But autism has some unique characteristics that have created an almost perfect storm for shame and rejection (Sarris 1).”

      see comments above about ending paragraphs with quotations

    7. alled “The Stigma of Autism: When All Eyes Are Upon You

      please put this into Works Cited Here should reference only the author's last name

    8. If you

      see my earlier comments about shift to "you"

    9. Social Stigma

      why capitalize?

    10. my sons

      my son's

    11. According to the Centers for Disease Control, autism affects an estimated 1 in 59 children in the United States today (Autism Speaks)”. I

      shouldn't this be put earlier?

    12. sons’

      son's

    13. Rarely sharing enjoyment of objects or activities by pointing or showing things to others Failing to, or being slow to, respond to someone calling their name or to other verbal attempts to gain attention (NIH 1)”.

      try not to end a paragraph a quotation but leave room for your own commentary

    14. to act as if you

      why shift back to "you"? I know why you used it earlier but don't see a reason now

    15. with Autism

      no need to capitalize this general term

    16. “Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disorder that affects communication and behavior (NIH 1)

      I would suggest not starting a paragraph with a quotation Remember also to lead into a quotation or paraphrase and cite your source in text

    17. Not only that, but individuals with autism also have to deal with the stress that comes with needing extra resources and help when it comes to not only their education but their life so that they can function along with society.

      Might it be useful to ask your research question about now?

    18. but they do not, every kid

      edit for comma splice

    19. of whom they are.

      I don't see a list of Works cited, nor a postwrite

    1. Unfortunately there is a growing number of eating disorders in men. It is just not made known be

      I am very pleased that you are taking the time to look at the impact of body imagery on men

    2. As men/boy eating disorders are being more looked into we have seen an increase in their numbers

      cite source

    3. Taking the focus off women, men

      If we take the focus off women, we see that . . . .

    4. Black-oriented television shows may serve a protective function; Hispanic and Black girls and women who watch more Black-oriented television have higher body satisfaction.

      very interesting

    5. The effect of media on women’s body dissatisfaction, thin ideal internalization, and disordered eating appears to be stronger among young adults than children and adolescents

      cite source?

    6. “According to the Center for Disease Control, the BMI of the average American women has steadily increased over the past half a century, from 24.9 in 1960 to 26.5 in the present day. In a similar vein, Rehabs.com found that the difference between models’ weights and the weight of the average American woman has grown from 8 percent in 1975 to over 23 percent today. The bottom line? There’s more of a noticeable gap between the bodies of idealized women and everyday people” (Bahadur).

      see my earlier comments about long quotations and ending paragraphs with quotations

    7. “The new French law also states that any images where models have been digitally altered to appear either larger or smaller must be marked as a “retouched photograph.” Failure to include the phrase will result in fines ranging from about $40,000 to as much as 30 percent of the cost of the advertising budget. The retouched photograph law is set to go into effect by Jan. 1, 2017, but for now, there is no such timeline in place for the implementation of the law regarding the BMIs of the models themselves. Before that can happen, France’s National Assembly needs to vote on numerous updates to the country’s public health code, after which they can hammer out the exact terms and conditions of the law, and how to enforce it” (Millers).

      a long quotation that needs comment from you and integration

    8. The fashion industry plays a huge role in the negative body image dilemma

      good, clear topic sentence

    9. “Another popular concern has been with social media as a resource used by people to present themselves, leading to the question of how this online persona reflects or differs from their online persona. Other themes are the number of friends or followers that seem appropriate to each platform, and how this re ects the judgements people make about others” (Miller)

      again, try to transition to and integrate your quotations more smoothly (with a signal phrase and transition)

    10. edited to perfection

      edited-to-perfection

    11. Social media has also become a toxic mirror.

      is this a paragraph? a subheading?

    12. Emphasizing number 6 because we are so negatively influenced by the media to be at a standard that is unrealistic and unhealthy

      fragment

    13. “Seven Ways To Overcome Negative Body Image 1)      Fight “Fatism” 2)      Fight the Diet Downfall 3)      Accept Genetics 4)      Understand that Emotions are Skin Deep 5)      Question Messages Portrayed in the Media 6)      Recognize the Influence of Body Misperception 7)      Befriend Your Body …Changing our world starts with you” (Hawkins).

      a useful list bu I sense that it needs to be integrated into your draft--needing transition

    14. “Over 80% of Americans watch television daily.  On average, these people watch over three hours per day. American children engage in increasing amounts of media use, a trend fueled largely by the growing availability of internet access through phones and laptops.  On a typical day, 8 – 18-year-olds are engaged with some form of media about 7.5 hours” (

      not sure if this quotation fits here or is doing what it should be doing cite source

    15. For example, one study found that 63% of female participants identified weight as the key factor in determining how they felt about themselves – more important than family, school, or career. Other research suggests that 86% of all women are dissatisfied with their bodies and want to lose weight” (Hawkins).

      good use of source I might suggest, though, not ending paragraphs (or beginning them) with quotations--so your voice is not lost.

    16. How you

      why the shift to "you"?

    17. While the self-representation of our bodies is a key element in our belief that we are autonomous individuals with a “first-person perspective,” the term body image covers and has covered a variety of meanings. In neurology, this term currently designates the verbal representation of the body parts. Psychoanalysis considers body image as intertwining the imaginary and symbolic aspects of identity, and insists on its dependence on the Other’s regard;.

      This is a long and complex quotation--please spend time unpacking it for your reader. It might be a good idea to break it up with commentary? And of course try to use signal phrases when quoting or paraphrasing

    18. the idea of body image has been changing through research

      not sure I understand

    19. in order for this to end we have to create a healthy, positive, and standardless image for ourselves, our children and generations to come.

      I understand but keep your purpose in mind here: to inquire and to probe for answers, rather than argue a point or a side

    20. Simmons , Rachel. “How Social Media Is A Toxic Mirror.” Culture. Time.com, 19 Aug. 2016. Web.  Simmonds, George. “Ken’s Got Issues Too: Let’s Talk About Male Beauty Standards.” 20 Aug. 2014. Web.  Bermudez, Ovidio. “MEDIA, BODY IMAGE, AND EATING DISORDERS.” National Eating Disorders.org. 13 Mar. 2017. Web. Vitelli, Romeo. “The Problem With Fat Jokes.” Psychology Today. Web.

      please alphabetize I see only one peer reviewed source I don't see a personal interview listed

    21. The Journal of Mind and Behavior, Vol. 27, No. 3/4 (Summer and Autumn 2006), pp. 301-318. B.Y.U. Idaho, Ways To Overcome Negative Body Image. (14 November 2011). 

      This seems to be a peer reviewed source but you will need to follow the MLA format

    22. Sources

      labeled Works Cited

    1. thing you

      why the shift to "you"? who is your intended audience?

    2. ESP and mental health disorders could even co-exist

      This is a really important point that I wish you'd pursue further.

    3. weather

      whether

    4. I had asked

      I wonder if you could avoid the Q and A format and try to select parts of the interview for integration within your own commentary?

    5. For the last part of my research I interviewed Diane Correia someone who has extrasensory perception and uses her ability to give readings to others

      transition?

    6. “But really in my case I found that it was a process of being able to pay attention to my body and I always say that the sixth sense kind of uses the other 5 senses to communicate. So in my case when I’d go throughout my day-day life, I might have a vision or hear the name Elaine or get, you know, a physical sensation that corresponds how someone passed and so I would find that as I refine this process and paid attention to what I was going through and delivered it that people started validating what I was doing and said you that makes sense.” (Henry)

      I notice that you've quoted at length here and elsewhere. Do you think you might instead select portions and integrate them within your own commentary?

    7. Hollywood Medium Tyler Henry s

      credible?

    8. Satwant K. Paricha provides evidence of misdiagnosis in “Relevance of para-psychology in psychiatric practice.” Pasricha provides data analysis of surveys given to the general population that shows between 10%-15% of people experience paranormal encounters. How many of these people are misdiagnosed with mental disorders? “just as the diagnosis of a major depressive episode would not be given when depressive symptoms result from normal, uncomplicated bereavement, so too paranormal experiences and their effects should not be viewed as evidence of a mental disorder, but rather as a normal reactions to stress.”

      okay--glad to see this useful source--but shape these into a paragraph?

    9. if you

      why the shift to "you"?

    10. the same feeling however the clinical

      edit for fused sentence (absence of period between sentences)

    11. p.817

      cite authors' last names

    12. This leads me to wonder how one distinguishes the difference between a paranormal gift or a mental disorder or how do the two relate to one another?

      okay--good--this is your question. Can you put this earlier to help you focus?

    13. Precognition–The ability to see into the future, Retrocognition– The ability to see into the distant past, Clairvoyance – The ability to see events without being physically present, Mediumship– The ability to communicate with spiritual world and talk to the deceased, Clairsentience – The ability to feel the emotions of others, Clairaudience– The ability to receive messages and information through “psychic hearing”, Telepathy – The ability to read the minds of others and know what they’re thinking, Clairalience– The ability to get psychic impressions from the sense of smell, Clairgustance– The paranormal ability to taste a substance without putting it in mouth.

      Please cite source at point of borrowing

    14. ESP, Extrasensory perception is information not gained through the recognized physical senses rather it is sensed with the mind

      I sense the need for a transition here, don't you?

    15. Iv’e

      I've

    16. I am able to receive messages

      I wonder if you might state your research question at this point--for your reader's sake?

    17. lifetime, however it

      edit for punctuation (comma splice)

    18. phenomena’s

      phenomena

    19. Citations

      Works Cited These are not quite in MLA format I believe I see one peer reviewed journal, although no database and doi number You will need three peer reviewed articles in total and one personal interview

    20. Researching any topic and writing about what I found rather than trying to argue against one theory versus another.

      good--glad you pointed this out