8,270 Matching Annotations
  1. Oct 2020
    1. Anzaldua could relate to her audience on a personal level be

      exactly--good

    2. Anzaldua was speaking to people who have gone through similar struggles as her. Anzaldua was explaining to her audience

      please be precise--Chicanas?

    3. Collins was speaking to a group of graduates. Collins was very direct with his audience and knew exactly what they needed to hear. I think that Collins understood his audience very well and that made it easier for him to talk to them and inspire them.

      good--evidence?

    4. . King was writing specifically to a group of white religious leaders. King was a religious leader himself so he knew exactly who his audience was and how to connect with them. King’s audience was small so he wrote a letter so he could specifically talk to them.

      good--please provide evidence as to how he reached out to these clergymen

    5. Audience to me is the group of people who read your work or listen to what you are saying

      Okay--I see the organization--good idea to organize by key term

    6. . Anzaldua was talking about her struggles and what has upset

      you seem to have lost your focus/thread--what is her choice of genre?

    7. commencement speech

      explain the features of a typical graduation speech--slow down, okay?

    8. s an inspirational speech

      commencement speech whose purpose is inspirational

    9. believe that genre of King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” was a letter. King was in a situation where he needed to speak with specific people and get them to understand where he is coming from. I think it was smart for King to write a letter so he can connect with the right people.

      okay--good

    10. at the genre can be found within the theme

      try not to confuse theme with genre

    11. so you can use your writing to effectively communicate with them.

      and purpose?

    12. who your

      why the shift to "your"?

    13. readers attention

      reader's edit for apostrophe use here and elsewhere

    14. King, Martin Luther, Jr. “Letter From Birmingham Jail (1963)”. 16 April 1963. https://liberalarts.utexas.edu/coretexts/_files/resources/texts/1963_MLK_Letter_Abridged.pdfAnzaldua, Gloria. “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” .https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdfCollins, Billy. “Commencement Speech”. 19 May 2008. 

      not bad MLA form. alphabetize by author's last name--no bullets needed

    15. While I was revising, I  realized that I needed to put in quotes and do a better job explaining how the authors actually use audience, purpose, and genre together to create a successful piece of writing.

      good What questions do you have about your writing at this stage?

    1. “Education is no equalizer —Rather, it is the sleep that precedes the American Dream.So wake up — wake up! Lift your voicesUntil you’ve patched every hole in a child’s broken sky.Wake up every child so they know of their celestial potential.I’ve been a Black hole in the classroom for far too long;Absorbing everything, without allowing my light escape.But those days are done. I belong among the stars.And so do you. And so do they.Together, we can inspire galaxies of greatnessFor generations to come.No, sky is not the limit. It is only the beginning.Lift off.“

      see my comment above about ending paragraphs with quotations and without commentary

    2. audience of this beautiful piece was the 2016 graduates, staff members and proud family members.

      These are future teachers? How do we know? how does he reach out to them?

    3. speech in a form of a poem that was given at his 2016 graduation.

      okay--good. What makes this a poem, exactly? Evidence?

    4. I hope this letter finds you strong in the faith. I also hope that circumstances will soon make it possible for me to meet each of you, not as an integrationist or a civil rights leader, but as a fellow clergyman and a Christian brother. Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear-drenched communities and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all of their scintillating beauty.“

      try to avoid a long question and certainly avoid quoting at the end of a pargraph, okay? Please comment further on the significance and relevance of this long quotation

    5. e his audience was the people that felt indifferent and whom was caring out all the wrong doings

      Slow down and be more precise? His initial audience were the clergymen, right? Evidence?

    6. writing is a letter t

      What is distinctive about a letter? why did he choose that genre? Slow down, ikay?

    7. genre in Martins piece

      try not to use the author's first name only--too informal, right? Last name will do. and remember to use apostorphe's for possession

    8. Billy Collins, Commencement Addres

      use apostrophe: Collins" King's, Livingston's

    9. Genre is the type of writing the piece is, it could be poetry, drama, or other literature styles. Purpose is the writers intent on writing,

      good, clear definitions Note, by the way, comma lapses, using commas like periods, here and elsewhere

    10. A writer uses audience as a style of language, tone, and content a

      not sure I follow

    11. any type of writing what does audience, genre, and purpose even mean? and what are they?

      not sure how the second question is different from the first

    12. When thinking about composing

      When one thinks about . . .

    13. King Jr., Martin Luther. Letter from Birmingham. liberalarts.utexas.edu/coretexts/_files/resources/texts/1963_MLK_Letter_Abridged.pdf. Livingston, Donovan. “Lift Off” .25 May 2017. https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htmCollins, Billy. “Poet Laureate.” Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, 2 Oct. 2013, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm.

      please alphabetize by author's last name--no bullets needed--just skip a space between sources

    1. her audience

      who is her audience? how do we know?

    2. he genre by sa

      be precise, okay? What is her genre?

    3. how his purpose is to try and get them to live in the present i

      please separate purpose from messgae

    4. This shows how he uses humor as a way to engage his audience.

      good

    5. e knows his audience and genre:

      take one at a time--first audience; then genre then purpose

    6. Billy Collins’ Commencement Address is another piece that executes on audience, purpose, and genre perfectly

      okay--this topic sentence works better

    7. the genre

      please slow down to define and discuss the genre

    8. This shows that King Jr. is telling these clergymen th

      Please use the term "audience" and show how Kng reaches out to his audience

    9. how to use the key terms

      actually he doesn't use the terms per se but demonstrates an understanding of them, right? I would suggest revising this topic sentence to use genre, audience, and purpose directly.

    10. Three great examples of writing that use these key terms the best are Billy Collins’ Commencement Address, Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail”, and Gloria Anazaldua’s “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”. These three examples know how their genre, their audience, and their purpose are necessary in order to create a successful piece of writing. 

      This first paragraph is useful.

    11. for the writer

      want to use the plural "writers' for consistency?

    12. King, Martin Luther. “A Letter to Birmingham Jail”. 1963. Anzaldua, Gloria. How to Tame a Wild Tongue. Collins, Billy. Commencement Address. Colorado College,

      not in MLA format

    13. mistakes I made in the first draft,

      what were those?

    14. It also helped to use my first draft to guide my ideas for the second draft.

      how so? please explain?

    1. However it also is motivational

      can you be more precise as to genre? memoir? essay?

    2. he is here to empower colored women

      okay--give evidence?

    3. herefore her audience is women and young adults

      can you be more precise--Chicanas?

    4. Lastly, Gloria Anzaldua’s written piece “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” about empowering colored women to not be silenced and the experiences she has overcome.

      revise topic sentence to help focus your analysis?

    5. He is talking to colored Americans

      are you sure? isn't he also talking to teachers of students of color?

    6. he purpose of this speech like Collins is to motivate college graduates

      good

    7. Livingston is a young man who is speaking to young adults who have also I’m sure had some similar hardships to him. He had a more relatable approach to this speech. He was also quick and to the point but more in a musical sense where the words flow together from the poem into spoken word

      good--show examples of how he manages this?

    8. He wrote this piece to fit a specific mold of graduation speeches

      okay--good. Please elaborate on the qualities typical of the genre?

    9. He knows to be motivational but knows his audience. He talks about how the future is of course important but the present is taken for granted so much so that people forget to live it, everyone is so focused on having the best future and getting everything they want that they forget to live now. H

      stick to analysis of purpose, okay? you seem to summarize message here

    10. The genre of the first commencement address is a comical motivational speech

      why stick this at the end as an afterthought? Why not give its own paragraph?

    11. etty straight forward… college graduates. Collins tackles this speech a little differently by making his speech more funny and self deprecating rather than kinda long and boring like most speakers at these events. I think that is the perfect example of how well Collins knew his audience,

      very nice analysis--good

    12. lets talk about Billy Collins commencement address to Colorado college

      why not use a proper topic sentence instead of this--to get to the main point of your paragraph?

    13. To start of

      To start off? Not sure you want to start this way--seems more like speaking than formal essay writing, yes?

    14. Three Writers

      more mechanical lapses: why capitalize "Writers"?

    15. if you ask me

      why shift to "you"? and why "me"? Also note the use of a comma like a period, here and elsewhere

    16. Donovan Livingston’s commencement speech-https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=10153893399331387

      last name first--alphabetize list give date and title of speech

    17. Billy Collins commencement speech-https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm

      include date?

    18. Do I need to separate the topics in each paragraph or keep it the same every time and make that organization clear.

      good question--I'll check it out

    19. corse

      course

    20. writing does remind me of assignments I did in history in high-school called DBQ’s. Its a Document Based Questions essay where you have a packet of documents such as pictures, pieces or works

      nice--I can see the similarity

    1. analyzing the purpose of

      please state that purpose directly

    2. As educators,

      Pllease focus on this audience

    3. Livingston starts with the word together, meaning his fellow classmates. He then goes on to explain how he and his classmates will go on to inspir

      you seem to be shifting from audience to purpose: again a problem of focus?

    4. When comparing two individuals, it is important to consider their most significant qualities. Martin Luther King Jr. and Donovan Livingston, a student speaker at the Harvard Graduate School graduation convoc

      revise topic sentence to sharpen focus of paragraph?

    5. entire piece of writing is in letter format. Thus, the genre of this piece is a letter.

      okay--good. Please explain why King chooses the letter genre and how a letter is different from other written genres

    6. why Dr. King is writing to the clergymen,

      okay--put this key info earlier? And then show how he reaches his audience? Focus?

    7. Right off the bat, Dr. King has established his purpose for writing this letter. The actions he has taken to protest injustice in the city of Birmingham, Alabama have been condemned by clergymen. He also mentions how he rarely responds to criticism toward his work, thus readers can understand how important this purpose really is.

      I'm not sure I see the focus or main idea of this paragraph. Please refocus?

    8. The majority of the world can agree that Martin Luther King was the biggest among black voices in all of history, and also an amazing writer, and his “Letter from Birmingham Jail” i

      Do you think you might revise to make this a proper topic sentence?

    9. Each make an astounding use of their rhetorical situations – genre, audience and purpose.

      Each makes

      This is a useful introductory paragraph

    10. Livingston, Donovan, director. Donovan Livingston’s Harvard Graduate School of Education Student Speech. Youtube, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 25 May 2016, youtu.be/9XGUpKITeJM. Collins, Billy. “Poet Laureate.” Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, 2 Oct. 2013, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm.

      pretty good form--please alphabetize

    11. King, Martin Luther. “Letter to Birmingham.” Birmingham City Jail. Birmingham, Alabama. 16 Apr. 1963,

      please list the version we use--digital

    12. I definitely focused mostly on my voice. Throughout writing however, I certainly began to realize how important these concepts of audience, genre and purpose were. They’re very connected to one another, and are required to make a good piece of writing

      okay--remember to complete the questions, okay: what choices did you make? What questions do you have about the work so far?

    1. d the audience.

      please identify that audience and give evidence

    2. Which is a terrible but real fact about World War 2.

      fragment

    3. pose of the letter is to show th

      try to separate purpose from message

    4. He also uses repeated use of religion, speaking of Jesus and God.

      why do you think? Who is his intended audience? How does he reach out to them?

    5. in a world in which adults tend to think they know everything.

      Have you analyzed genre and purpose as well?

    6. That shows an understanding of one’s audienc

      yes: good.

    7. Your audience

      why the shift to "your"?

    8. These Speakers

      speakers

    9. They want to guide their predecessors to do great things as most people do. 

      I dob't see a postwrite or Works Cited list

    1. This shows that he really wants to see change throughout the country. He overall wants peace and for everyone to be viewed the same. 

      I see only two sources analyzed

    2. , this letter

      please comment on the choice of the letter genre

    3. purpose behind this letter is to gain peace

      purpose is different from message, right?

    4. st. In Donavan Livingston’s “Lift Off” speech, he is trying to reach families, faculty, staff, alumni, and fellow graduates. T

      how does he reach out to them, exactly?

    5. message

      message is not the purpose, right?

    6. In Collin’s “Commencement Speech” the genre is a graduation speech and the purpose is to inspire or influence that audience in which in this case the audience are a bunch of college graduates

      okay--a useful topic sentence

    7. pose can be to inform, explain, persuade, explain

      good

    8. you choose

      why the shift to "you"?

    9. each category comes with a set of rules and requirements

      exactly--good

    10. listen too

      listen to

    11. Collins, Billy. “Commencement Speech”. 19 May 2008. https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm King Jr., Martin Luther. Letter from Birmingham. 16 April 1963. liberalarts.utexas.edu/coretexts/_files/resources/texts/1963_MLK_Letter_Abridged.pdf.  Livingston, Donovan. “Lift Off” . 25 May 2017. https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm

      good, MLA form

    12. I took the advice that my partner gave me and teacher.

      please elaborate: what advice was that?

    13. form

      typo

    14. defiantly

      typo?

    1. is trying to inspire the audience of teachers

      purpose--to inspire audience--teachers

      try to take one at at a time and spend time with each?

    2. The purpose of this speech is to tell the students not to worry too much

      try not t confuse purpose with message?

    3. . He knows his audience well and understands them as he states in the first paragraph “ I think you deserve to know that this will be a finite experience.

      good analysis and evidence

    4. elling you

      why the shift to "you"?

    5. The purpose of Gloria Anzaldua’s “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” is to educate people about the Chicano’s identity and how they are taught to hate it and be ashamed of it.

      see my earlier comment about breaking up this paragraph by key terms---to help focus and to slow your analysis

    6. ever her audience is also people who do not know about the Chicano hardships or don’t care about i

      you are now discussing her intended audience? Might you want to separate this section into its own paragraph for your reader's sake?

    7. The genre of Gloria Anzaldua’s “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” is a memoir

      This topic sentence suggests that the whole paragraph will focus on genre. Is this your intention?

    8. Writers must know the proper genre of their writing since it will set up an expectation to the readers

      exactly--good

    9. Bibliography

      Works Cited

    10. nzaldúa, Gloria. How to Tame a Wild Tongue. Aunt Lute Books, 1987. Everett, https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdf. Accessed 30 September 2020. Collins, Billy. “Commencement Speech Transcript.” Graduation Wisdom, 19 May 2008, https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm. Accessed 30 September 2020. Livingston, Donovan. “Donovan Livingston’s Harvard Graduate School of Education Student Speech.” YouTube, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 25 May 2016, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XGUpKITeJM&ab_channel=HarvardGraduateSchoolofEducation. Accessed 30 September 202

      Good, MLA form

    1. as he is writing an open letter

      want to put this earlier--in the section on genre? I might suggest breaking up these paragraphs by key term for sharper focus

    2. Knowing that they are men of the church, he compares himself and his duties to those of biblical figures, a

      good

    3. in his letter

      can you comment on the significance of the letter genre? why did King choose that genre?

    4. white churchmen t

      his audience--good. You might use our three terms to help focus your analysis

    5. In the spring of 1963, non-violent protests were reaching their peak in Birmingham.

      a sharper topic sentence would help focus your writing, I believe

    6. His message clearly extends further than Harvard, to all colleges and schools, because he knows they are capable of change for the better.

      Have you discussed the genre and purpose of the source?

    7. Many of the attendees are teachers and students alike

      good but notice how blurred the focus of this paragraph is

    8. he wants teachers

      his intended audience?

    9. criticise

      criticize

    10. you become

      why are you using the pronoun "you"?

    11. but every citizen of the U.S. to take action against injustice and to stop damning those who do.

      I don't see a post write or a Works Cited list.

    1. with the audience

      please identify his audience--teachers--and show how he reaches out to them

    2. the genre of informative speech with persuasion as well.

      genre of commencement speech and spoken word poetry?

    3. Livingston

      Livingston's

    4. The writer acknowledges his audience by letting them know that he knows life can carry us away. He shows

      who is his audience? how does Collins reach out to them?

    5. The genre of his commencement address is persuasive speech

      commencement speech? see comment above about confusing genre and purpose

    6. Billy Collins effectively utilized the concepts of genre, audience, and purpose in his 2008 commencement speech at Colorado College.

      okay--good, clear topic sentence

    7. He wants his audience t

      can you analyze how King tries to reach those 8 clergymen? Stay focused in your analysis, okay?

    8. The audience he’s trying to reach is everyone

      can you be more precise? Isn't he first of all writing to those eight clergymen?

    9. The genre of this piece of writing is to inform and persuade

      you seem to be confusing genre with purpose?

    10. In Martin Luther King Jr’s Letter from Birmingham Jail, King focuses on expressing the events of segregation and civil right movement. 

      I wonder if you'd be better served as would your reader if you revised this to be a topic sentence, predicting what the paragraph will be about.

    11. This can help the writer break down into pieces what the purpose of his writing is. In Martin Luther King Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail”, Billy Collins “Commencement Address”, and Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement these key terms are persuaded throughout these writings. 

      This opening paragraph is helpful.

    12. Genre is a way of organizing compositions into categories that may have similar characteristics to one another. When things are separated into genres

      good

    13.  In what other ways can I improve my wording?

      No Works Cited?

    14. The choice I made while drafting and revising was to make this piece as organized as I can for my sake and the readers.

      good--please elaborate on how you did this

    15. I would look back at them for feedback.

      good idea

    16. This assignment

      label this section "Postwrite"?

    1. genre because it teaches the audience about other cultures and their struggle in America

      not seeing a conclusion containing your Theory of Writing

    2. Gloria Anzaldua’s How to Tame a Wild Tongue is about a young girl who has Mexican heritage who cant talk about her heritage with out teachers punishing her for being who she is. At home she gets punished for speaking English by her mother. She doesn’t have a chance to express herself at school or at home because if she speaks Spanish the people at school will tell her to back to Mexico and punish her while at home her mother punishes her for speaking English.

      not seeing analysis here

    3. he audience for Donovan’s speech was the Harvard graduating class and anyone who was graduating

      yes--can you spend more time talking about how Livingston reaches his audience of future educators?

    4. Similar to kings Letter, Donovan Livingston’s speech at Harvard tells a story of how if he was born two hundred years ago he wouldn’t have been where he was today. If he was born the he wouldn’t have been allowed to learn, and if he did he would have been killed. He explains how he was able to properly see how amazing education can be and how students today should take the most of their opportunity.

      Can you cut to the analysis sooner?

    5. King explains that people have an uneasiness about breaking the laws put in place. He then explains the 1954 supreme court decision that made segregation in public schools illegal

      seems summary rather than analysis.

    6. In the Letter from Birmingham Jail King was talking about how he was disgusted at the injustices happening around him

      I sense the need for a more focused topic sentence

    7. Billy explains that these most graduates fall into two categories; the pragmatic and the poetic. T

      This paragraph seems summary to me

    8. The genre of his speech would be educational

      I think you are ocnfusing genre with purpose

    9. A: In Billy Collins’s commencement address he talks about the future and what will come next.

      Do you think you might insert a topic sentence that introduces the idea of genre in Collins?

    10. Outline

      I appreciate your effort to think structurally

    11. II B: analysis

      break this up using three key terms?

    12. I A: Big idea and why they wrote it

      not sure of the relevance?

    13. Postwrite

      This is helpful but remember to follow the peer review template, okay?

    14. S1 Collins, Billy. Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, 19 May 2008, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm. S2 Letter from a Birmingham Jail [King, Jr.], 16 Apr. 1963, www.africa.upenn.edu/Articles_Gen/Letter_Birmingham.html. S3 Harvard Graduate School of Education. “Donovan Livingston’s Student Speech.” Facebook Watch, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 26 May 2016, www.facebook.com/HarvardEducation/videos/10153893399331387. S4 Anzaldua, Gloria. “How to Tame a Wild Tongue.”

      not in MLA format

    1. ”He aims to inspire and motivate his audience

      nicely observed--yes

    2. He is speaking to teachers, educators, and role models that will inevitably go on to influence their students’ lives. L

      exactly--good

    3. “Lift Off” by Donovan Livingston is significantly different from “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” and “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” as it is a spoken word poem

      I apprciate the effort at transition

    4. as King tailors his language and examples to better appeal to the clergymen. He uses biblical examples

      exactly--please quote or paraphrase for support

    5. audience of King’s composition is the clergymen (a group of Christian and Jewish religious leaders

      yes--good

    6. too

      to

    7. Anzaldúa aims to educate non-Chicanos about the experiences of her cultural group

      good. Evidence?

    8. Anzaldúa’s audience is most likely people outside of her ethnic group, Chicanos.

      in part, yes: please provide evidence from the memoir in support. But isn't she also reaching out to fellow Chicanas? How do we know?

    9. In “How to Tame a Wild Tongue,” the genre is a memoir or essay, the audience is people outside her specific ethnic group, and the purpose is to educate and inform her audience.

      Okay--at first I assumed that you'd be discussing all these items in a single paragraph! But I see your intention now that I have moved to the next paragraph. This first sentence announces your intention in your analysis of Anazaldua's memoir/essay over the next several paragraphs.

    10. For example, the audience of Green Eggs and Ham is children, while Game of Thrones was written for a much more mature audience.

      helpful examples--thanks.

    11. The Interrelationship of Genre, Audience, and Purpose

      Thanks for the helpful title.

    12. Livingston, Donovan. “Donovan Livingston’s Harvard Graduate School of Education Student Speech.” YouTube, uploaded by Harvard Graduate School of Education, 25 May 2016, www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XGUpKITeJM

      good form

    13. How to Tame a Wild Tongue.” Borderlands/La Fronteira, by Gloria Anzaldua, Aunt Lute Books, 1987, pp. 33–45. 

      not in MLA format

    1. Genre is used for the audience to follow. Audience i

      can you say more about the connection between genre and audience?

    2. The purpose of Livingston’s poem/speech is to tell people

      to inspire? to teach?

    3. He directly targets his audience, the teachers and education system,

      nicely done

    4. Like tokens in coined phrases? “Diversity. Inclusion” There are days I feel like one, like only —A lonely blossom

      want to comment on the use of poetic metaphor?

    5. but he combined the genre of a speech and a dramatic poem.

      Yes! Good--two genres in one

    6. whole purpose of this speech is to live in

      I sense a confusion between purpose and message?

    7. speech is a very interesting way,” One final wish: Salvador Dali once said that ‘Every morning when I waken, I experience a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dali.’ May you graduates waken every morning to experience the supreme pleasure of being yourselves.” (Collins). He connected this quote by Dali to the quote of the Roman poet Horace to show that you should be happy to be who you are because you only have one life to live; might as well live it. C

      I sense a loss of focus in this paragraph and more summary than analysis. Can you say something about how Collins makes fun of the genre--shwoing a good awareness of what a tuypical commencement genre does

    8. brown:

      Brown

    9. a speech

      again, you might want to qualify this to mean "commencement speech" for clarity and precision.

    10. a speech

      a commencement speech is its own genre, right? A speech is a mode of delivering that genre.

    11. He directly states his purpose in these eight words.

      remember to separate purpose from message. His purpose is to inspire/educate. His message: it is time to fight nonviolently for social justice. See the difference?

    12. Just as the prophets of the eighth century B.C. left their villages and carried their “thus saith the Lord” far beyond the boundaries of their hometowns, and just as the Apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco-Roman world, so am I compelled to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town. Like Paul, I must constantly respond to the Macedonian call for aid.” (King). He incorporates passages from the Bible because he knows that the Clergyman follow the Bible as he does

      good analysis and evidence selection

    13. skin color of the men he was writing to, but the fact that they are Christian Clergymen from Alabama. In knowing that they both follow the Bible;

      good--perhaps you can put this information earlier in the paragraph?

    14. the Caucasian’s

      no need for apostrophe

    15. artin Luther King Jr. was a black man born and raised in the South. He was a Christian Minister who became a very active leader during the civil rights movement through the 1950’s-1960’s.

      While this is helpful context, I wonder if you should revise to make this a topic sentence--presumably about King's understanding of audience?

    16. Martin Luther King Jr. did a superb job in effectively using genre in his “Letter from Birmingham

      helpful topic sentence. Perhaps you can say a bit later in this paragraph what there is about the letter genre that sets it apart from more formal genres and King's motive for choosing this genre?

    17. The first piece of writing that uses these three concepts well is a letter written by Martin Luther King Jr.

      I appreciate the care that you are taking to set this essay up and to insert transitions for your reader's sake.

    18. your

      why the shift to "your"?

    19. In simpler terms, a form of writing.

      note the fragment--can you say more?

    20. Collins, Billy. “Poet Laureate.” Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, 2 Oct. 2013, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm.

      goof form

    21. King, Martin Luther. “Letter to Birmingham.” Birmingham City Jail. Birmingham, Alabama. 16 Apr. 1963,

      list the version that we used--from the web, okay?

    22. Cenage Learnin

      Place of publication?

    23. When I was drafting and revising, I tried to fix some of my grammar and work on my transitioning sentences.

      Can you say more here? Provide more specifics as to the choices you made?

    1. , his audience is college students and young adul

      good--how does he reach them? Evidence?

    2. is also a speech.

      more precisely a graduation speech

    3. Her audience is not one specific group

      can you elaborate?

    4. The genre of her work is informative

      that's her purpose. What is her genre? autobiography? essay? poetry? protest?

    5. reach an audience of both Hispanics and whites

      can you be more precise? Chicanas and Anglos?--show evidence

    6. reshly graduated college students

      his audience? show evidence of how he is able to reach them?

    7. The purpose is to motivate and insp

      okay, good--show evidence?

    8. whole speech is motivational,

      are you speaking of his purpose?

    9. Donovon

      probably a bit too informal, no? Let's use his last name, okay?

    10. Donovon Livingston’s commencement address’s genre was a speech.

      okay--am I to assume that this paragraph will focus on genre? Btw, he has more than one genre going here--including spoken word poetry, no?

    11. “Donovan Livingston, S

      Livingston's Collins'

    12. You can’t just start writing without a purpose, it could be to spread your message, to inform people, or just to tell a story. Without purpose, you have no work. 

      I don't see a postwrite.

    13. Works Cited Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement Adress at Harvard Anzaldúa, Gloria. “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”. Borderlands / La Frontera: The New Mestiza. Aunt Lute Books, 2012 Print. Billy Collins, Commencement Address at Colorado College

      not in MLA format

    1. he audience she is referring to in this passage is the Chicanos as she says

      good

    2. n Gloria Anzalduas, How to Tame a Wild Tongue, she often arguing how our identities are being intertwined by the way people talk badly about us because of the way we speak as if it’s made to be shameful (Anzaldua).

      topic sentence that reflects your main diea?

    3. she often arguing

      rephrase?