8,270 Matching Annotations
  1. Oct 2020
    1. Anzaldua was speaking to people who have gone through similar struggles as her. Anzaldua was explaining to her audience

      please be precise--Chicanas?

    2. Collins was speaking to a group of graduates. Collins was very direct with his audience and knew exactly what they needed to hear. I think that Collins understood his audience very well and that made it easier for him to talk to them and inspire them.

      good--evidence?

    3. . King was writing specifically to a group of white religious leaders. King was a religious leader himself so he knew exactly who his audience was and how to connect with them. King’s audience was small so he wrote a letter so he could specifically talk to them.

      good--please provide evidence as to how he reached out to these clergymen

    4. Audience to me is the group of people who read your work or listen to what you are saying

      Okay--I see the organization--good idea to organize by key term

    5. believe that genre of King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” was a letter. King was in a situation where he needed to speak with specific people and get them to understand where he is coming from. I think it was smart for King to write a letter so he can connect with the right people.

      okay--good

    6. King, Martin Luther, Jr. “Letter From Birmingham Jail (1963)”. 16 April 1963. https://liberalarts.utexas.edu/coretexts/_files/resources/texts/1963_MLK_Letter_Abridged.pdfAnzaldua, Gloria. “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” .https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdfCollins, Billy. “Commencement Speech”. 19 May 2008. 

      not bad MLA form. alphabetize by author's last name--no bullets needed

    7. While I was revising, I  realized that I needed to put in quotes and do a better job explaining how the authors actually use audience, purpose, and genre together to create a successful piece of writing.

      good What questions do you have about your writing at this stage?

    1. “Education is no equalizer —Rather, it is the sleep that precedes the American Dream.So wake up — wake up! Lift your voicesUntil you’ve patched every hole in a child’s broken sky.Wake up every child so they know of their celestial potential.I’ve been a Black hole in the classroom for far too long;Absorbing everything, without allowing my light escape.But those days are done. I belong among the stars.And so do you. And so do they.Together, we can inspire galaxies of greatnessFor generations to come.No, sky is not the limit. It is only the beginning.Lift off.“

      see my comment above about ending paragraphs with quotations and without commentary

    2. audience of this beautiful piece was the 2016 graduates, staff members and proud family members.

      These are future teachers? How do we know? how does he reach out to them?

    3. I hope this letter finds you strong in the faith. I also hope that circumstances will soon make it possible for me to meet each of you, not as an integrationist or a civil rights leader, but as a fellow clergyman and a Christian brother. Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear-drenched communities and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all of their scintillating beauty.“

      try to avoid a long question and certainly avoid quoting at the end of a pargraph, okay? Please comment further on the significance and relevance of this long quotation

    4. e his audience was the people that felt indifferent and whom was caring out all the wrong doings

      Slow down and be more precise? His initial audience were the clergymen, right? Evidence?

    5. genre in Martins piece

      try not to use the author's first name only--too informal, right? Last name will do. and remember to use apostorphe's for possession

    6. Genre is the type of writing the piece is, it could be poetry, drama, or other literature styles. Purpose is the writers intent on writing,

      good, clear definitions Note, by the way, comma lapses, using commas like periods, here and elsewhere

    7. any type of writing what does audience, genre, and purpose even mean? and what are they?

      not sure how the second question is different from the first

    8. King Jr., Martin Luther. Letter from Birmingham. liberalarts.utexas.edu/coretexts/_files/resources/texts/1963_MLK_Letter_Abridged.pdf. Livingston, Donovan. “Lift Off” .25 May 2017. https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htmCollins, Billy. “Poet Laureate.” Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, 2 Oct. 2013, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm.

      please alphabetize by author's last name--no bullets needed--just skip a space between sources

    1. Billy Collins’ Commencement Address is another piece that executes on audience, purpose, and genre perfectly

      okay--this topic sentence works better

    2. how to use the key terms

      actually he doesn't use the terms per se but demonstrates an understanding of them, right? I would suggest revising this topic sentence to use genre, audience, and purpose directly.

    3. Three great examples of writing that use these key terms the best are Billy Collins’ Commencement Address, Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail”, and Gloria Anazaldua’s “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”. These three examples know how their genre, their audience, and their purpose are necessary in order to create a successful piece of writing. 

      This first paragraph is useful.

    4. King, Martin Luther. “A Letter to Birmingham Jail”. 1963. Anzaldua, Gloria. How to Tame a Wild Tongue. Collins, Billy. Commencement Address. Colorado College,

      not in MLA format

    1. Lastly, Gloria Anzaldua’s written piece “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” about empowering colored women to not be silenced and the experiences she has overcome.

      revise topic sentence to help focus your analysis?

    2. Livingston is a young man who is speaking to young adults who have also I’m sure had some similar hardships to him. He had a more relatable approach to this speech. He was also quick and to the point but more in a musical sense where the words flow together from the poem into spoken word

      good--show examples of how he manages this?

    3. He knows to be motivational but knows his audience. He talks about how the future is of course important but the present is taken for granted so much so that people forget to live it, everyone is so focused on having the best future and getting everything they want that they forget to live now. H

      stick to analysis of purpose, okay? you seem to summarize message here

    4. The genre of the first commencement address is a comical motivational speech

      why stick this at the end as an afterthought? Why not give its own paragraph?

    5. etty straight forward… college graduates. Collins tackles this speech a little differently by making his speech more funny and self deprecating rather than kinda long and boring like most speakers at these events. I think that is the perfect example of how well Collins knew his audience,

      very nice analysis--good

    6. lets talk about Billy Collins commencement address to Colorado college

      why not use a proper topic sentence instead of this--to get to the main point of your paragraph?

    7. Donovan Livingston’s commencement speech-https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=10153893399331387

      last name first--alphabetize list give date and title of speech

    8. Billy Collins commencement speech-https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm

      include date?

    9. Do I need to separate the topics in each paragraph or keep it the same every time and make that organization clear.

      good question--I'll check it out

    10. writing does remind me of assignments I did in history in high-school called DBQ’s. Its a Document Based Questions essay where you have a packet of documents such as pictures, pieces or works

      nice--I can see the similarity

    1. Livingston starts with the word together, meaning his fellow classmates. He then goes on to explain how he and his classmates will go on to inspir

      you seem to be shifting from audience to purpose: again a problem of focus?

    2. When comparing two individuals, it is important to consider their most significant qualities. Martin Luther King Jr. and Donovan Livingston, a student speaker at the Harvard Graduate School graduation convoc

      revise topic sentence to sharpen focus of paragraph?

    3. entire piece of writing is in letter format. Thus, the genre of this piece is a letter.

      okay--good. Please explain why King chooses the letter genre and how a letter is different from other written genres

    4. Right off the bat, Dr. King has established his purpose for writing this letter. The actions he has taken to protest injustice in the city of Birmingham, Alabama have been condemned by clergymen. He also mentions how he rarely responds to criticism toward his work, thus readers can understand how important this purpose really is.

      I'm not sure I see the focus or main idea of this paragraph. Please refocus?

    5. The majority of the world can agree that Martin Luther King was the biggest among black voices in all of history, and also an amazing writer, and his “Letter from Birmingham Jail” i

      Do you think you might revise to make this a proper topic sentence?

    6. Each make an astounding use of their rhetorical situations – genre, audience and purpose.

      Each makes

      This is a useful introductory paragraph

    7. Livingston, Donovan, director. Donovan Livingston’s Harvard Graduate School of Education Student Speech. Youtube, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 25 May 2016, youtu.be/9XGUpKITeJM. Collins, Billy. “Poet Laureate.” Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, 2 Oct. 2013, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm.

      pretty good form--please alphabetize

    8. King, Martin Luther. “Letter to Birmingham.” Birmingham City Jail. Birmingham, Alabama. 16 Apr. 1963,

      please list the version we use--digital

    9. I definitely focused mostly on my voice. Throughout writing however, I certainly began to realize how important these concepts of audience, genre and purpose were. They’re very connected to one another, and are required to make a good piece of writing

      okay--remember to complete the questions, okay: what choices did you make? What questions do you have about the work so far?

    1. He also uses repeated use of religion, speaking of Jesus and God.

      why do you think? Who is his intended audience? How does he reach out to them?

    1. This shows that he really wants to see change throughout the country. He overall wants peace and for everyone to be viewed the same. 

      I see only two sources analyzed

    2. st. In Donavan Livingston’s “Lift Off” speech, he is trying to reach families, faculty, staff, alumni, and fellow graduates. T

      how does he reach out to them, exactly?

    3. In Collin’s “Commencement Speech” the genre is a graduation speech and the purpose is to inspire or influence that audience in which in this case the audience are a bunch of college graduates

      okay--a useful topic sentence

    4. Collins, Billy. “Commencement Speech”. 19 May 2008. https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm King Jr., Martin Luther. Letter from Birmingham. 16 April 1963. liberalarts.utexas.edu/coretexts/_files/resources/texts/1963_MLK_Letter_Abridged.pdf.  Livingston, Donovan. “Lift Off” . 25 May 2017. https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm

      good, MLA form

    1. is trying to inspire the audience of teachers

      purpose--to inspire audience--teachers

      try to take one at at a time and spend time with each?

    2. . He knows his audience well and understands them as he states in the first paragraph “ I think you deserve to know that this will be a finite experience.

      good analysis and evidence

    3. The purpose of Gloria Anzaldua’s “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” is to educate people about the Chicano’s identity and how they are taught to hate it and be ashamed of it.

      see my earlier comment about breaking up this paragraph by key terms---to help focus and to slow your analysis

    4. ever her audience is also people who do not know about the Chicano hardships or don’t care about i

      you are now discussing her intended audience? Might you want to separate this section into its own paragraph for your reader's sake?

    5. The genre of Gloria Anzaldua’s “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” is a memoir

      This topic sentence suggests that the whole paragraph will focus on genre. Is this your intention?

    6. nzaldúa, Gloria. How to Tame a Wild Tongue. Aunt Lute Books, 1987. Everett, https://www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdf. Accessed 30 September 2020. Collins, Billy. “Commencement Speech Transcript.” Graduation Wisdom, 19 May 2008, https://www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm. Accessed 30 September 2020. Livingston, Donovan. “Donovan Livingston’s Harvard Graduate School of Education Student Speech.” YouTube, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 25 May 2016, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XGUpKITeJM&ab_channel=HarvardGraduateSchoolofEducation. Accessed 30 September 202

      Good, MLA form

    1. as he is writing an open letter

      want to put this earlier--in the section on genre? I might suggest breaking up these paragraphs by key term for sharper focus

    2. In the spring of 1963, non-violent protests were reaching their peak in Birmingham.

      a sharper topic sentence would help focus your writing, I believe

    3. His message clearly extends further than Harvard, to all colleges and schools, because he knows they are capable of change for the better.

      Have you discussed the genre and purpose of the source?

    4. but every citizen of the U.S. to take action against injustice and to stop damning those who do.

      I don't see a post write or a Works Cited list.

    1. The writer acknowledges his audience by letting them know that he knows life can carry us away. He shows

      who is his audience? how does Collins reach out to them?

    2. Billy Collins effectively utilized the concepts of genre, audience, and purpose in his 2008 commencement speech at Colorado College.

      okay--good, clear topic sentence

    3. In Martin Luther King Jr’s Letter from Birmingham Jail, King focuses on expressing the events of segregation and civil right movement. 

      I wonder if you'd be better served as would your reader if you revised this to be a topic sentence, predicting what the paragraph will be about.

    4. This can help the writer break down into pieces what the purpose of his writing is. In Martin Luther King Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail”, Billy Collins “Commencement Address”, and Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement these key terms are persuaded throughout these writings. 

      This opening paragraph is helpful.

    5. Genre is a way of organizing compositions into categories that may have similar characteristics to one another. When things are separated into genres

      good

    6. The choice I made while drafting and revising was to make this piece as organized as I can for my sake and the readers.

      good--please elaborate on how you did this

    1. genre because it teaches the audience about other cultures and their struggle in America

      not seeing a conclusion containing your Theory of Writing

    2. Gloria Anzaldua’s How to Tame a Wild Tongue is about a young girl who has Mexican heritage who cant talk about her heritage with out teachers punishing her for being who she is. At home she gets punished for speaking English by her mother. She doesn’t have a chance to express herself at school or at home because if she speaks Spanish the people at school will tell her to back to Mexico and punish her while at home her mother punishes her for speaking English.

      not seeing analysis here

    3. he audience for Donovan’s speech was the Harvard graduating class and anyone who was graduating

      yes--can you spend more time talking about how Livingston reaches his audience of future educators?

    4. Similar to kings Letter, Donovan Livingston’s speech at Harvard tells a story of how if he was born two hundred years ago he wouldn’t have been where he was today. If he was born the he wouldn’t have been allowed to learn, and if he did he would have been killed. He explains how he was able to properly see how amazing education can be and how students today should take the most of their opportunity.

      Can you cut to the analysis sooner?

    5. King explains that people have an uneasiness about breaking the laws put in place. He then explains the 1954 supreme court decision that made segregation in public schools illegal

      seems summary rather than analysis.

    6. In the Letter from Birmingham Jail King was talking about how he was disgusted at the injustices happening around him

      I sense the need for a more focused topic sentence

    7. A: In Billy Collins’s commencement address he talks about the future and what will come next.

      Do you think you might insert a topic sentence that introduces the idea of genre in Collins?

    8. S1 Collins, Billy. Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, 19 May 2008, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm. S2 Letter from a Birmingham Jail [King, Jr.], 16 Apr. 1963, www.africa.upenn.edu/Articles_Gen/Letter_Birmingham.html. S3 Harvard Graduate School of Education. “Donovan Livingston’s Student Speech.” Facebook Watch, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 26 May 2016, www.facebook.com/HarvardEducation/videos/10153893399331387. S4 Anzaldua, Gloria. “How to Tame a Wild Tongue.”

      not in MLA format

    1. “Lift Off” by Donovan Livingston is significantly different from “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” and “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” as it is a spoken word poem

      I apprciate the effort at transition

    2. as King tailors his language and examples to better appeal to the clergymen. He uses biblical examples

      exactly--please quote or paraphrase for support

    3. Anzaldúa’s audience is most likely people outside of her ethnic group, Chicanos.

      in part, yes: please provide evidence from the memoir in support. But isn't she also reaching out to fellow Chicanas? How do we know?

    4. In “How to Tame a Wild Tongue,” the genre is a memoir or essay, the audience is people outside her specific ethnic group, and the purpose is to educate and inform her audience.

      Okay--at first I assumed that you'd be discussing all these items in a single paragraph! But I see your intention now that I have moved to the next paragraph. This first sentence announces your intention in your analysis of Anazaldua's memoir/essay over the next several paragraphs.

    5. For example, the audience of Green Eggs and Ham is children, while Game of Thrones was written for a much more mature audience.

      helpful examples--thanks.

    6. Livingston, Donovan. “Donovan Livingston’s Harvard Graduate School of Education Student Speech.” YouTube, uploaded by Harvard Graduate School of Education, 25 May 2016, www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XGUpKITeJM

      good form

    1. Like tokens in coined phrases? “Diversity. Inclusion” There are days I feel like one, like only —A lonely blossom

      want to comment on the use of poetic metaphor?

    2. speech is a very interesting way,” One final wish: Salvador Dali once said that ‘Every morning when I waken, I experience a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dali.’ May you graduates waken every morning to experience the supreme pleasure of being yourselves.” (Collins). He connected this quote by Dali to the quote of the Roman poet Horace to show that you should be happy to be who you are because you only have one life to live; might as well live it. C

      I sense a loss of focus in this paragraph and more summary than analysis. Can you say something about how Collins makes fun of the genre--shwoing a good awareness of what a tuypical commencement genre does

    3. He directly states his purpose in these eight words.

      remember to separate purpose from message. His purpose is to inspire/educate. His message: it is time to fight nonviolently for social justice. See the difference?

    4. Just as the prophets of the eighth century B.C. left their villages and carried their “thus saith the Lord” far beyond the boundaries of their hometowns, and just as the Apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco-Roman world, so am I compelled to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town. Like Paul, I must constantly respond to the Macedonian call for aid.” (King). He incorporates passages from the Bible because he knows that the Clergyman follow the Bible as he does

      good analysis and evidence selection

    5. skin color of the men he was writing to, but the fact that they are Christian Clergymen from Alabama. In knowing that they both follow the Bible;

      good--perhaps you can put this information earlier in the paragraph?

    6. artin Luther King Jr. was a black man born and raised in the South. He was a Christian Minister who became a very active leader during the civil rights movement through the 1950’s-1960’s.

      While this is helpful context, I wonder if you should revise to make this a topic sentence--presumably about King's understanding of audience?

    7. Martin Luther King Jr. did a superb job in effectively using genre in his “Letter from Birmingham

      helpful topic sentence. Perhaps you can say a bit later in this paragraph what there is about the letter genre that sets it apart from more formal genres and King's motive for choosing this genre?

    8. The first piece of writing that uses these three concepts well is a letter written by Martin Luther King Jr.

      I appreciate the care that you are taking to set this essay up and to insert transitions for your reader's sake.

    9. Collins, Billy. “Poet Laureate.” Poet Laureate Billy Collins Gives Brilliand and Witty Commencement Address at Colorado College, 2008, 2 Oct. 2013, www.graduationwisdom.com/speeches/0135-Billy-Collins-Gives-Brilliant-Witty-Commencement-Speech-Address-At-Colorado-College-2008.htm.

      goof form

    10. King, Martin Luther. “Letter to Birmingham.” Birmingham City Jail. Birmingham, Alabama. 16 Apr. 1963,

      list the version that we used--from the web, okay?

    11. When I was drafting and revising, I tried to fix some of my grammar and work on my transitioning sentences.

      Can you say more here? Provide more specifics as to the choices you made?

    1. Donovon Livingston’s commencement address’s genre was a speech.

      okay--am I to assume that this paragraph will focus on genre? Btw, he has more than one genre going here--including spoken word poetry, no?

    2. You can’t just start writing without a purpose, it could be to spread your message, to inform people, or just to tell a story. Without purpose, you have no work. 

      I don't see a postwrite.

    3. Works Cited Donovan Livingston, Spoken Word Commencement Adress at Harvard Anzaldúa, Gloria. “How to Tame a Wild Tongue”. Borderlands / La Frontera: The New Mestiza. Aunt Lute Books, 2012 Print. Billy Collins, Commencement Address at Colorado College

      not in MLA format

    1. n Gloria Anzalduas, How to Tame a Wild Tongue, she often arguing how our identities are being intertwined by the way people talk badly about us because of the way we speak as if it’s made to be shameful (Anzaldua).

      topic sentence that reflects your main diea?