1,843 Matching Annotations
  1. Nov 2016
    1. Whether due to advertisements like Bill Cosby’s or due to having just run its course naturally, the “Pepsi Challenge” momentum had come to an end by 1983.

      Momentum is measured how, exactly?

    1. The greatest examples of this occurring were Michael Jackson for Pepsi and Bill Cosby for Coca-Cola.

      I might break this page into separate sections as it's a little long.

    1. By 1969, Coca-Cola only held 30% of the cola market while Pepsi controlled 14%.

      I know this is a Scalar, but this just screams for a footnote! Is there some way to tie this to a source in the credits? Asking for a friend.

    1. The stomach soothing nature of these effervescent waters made them a regularly prescribed treatment for dyspepsia or indigestion. The lack of side effects from a glass of soda water, unlike many other medicines of the time, helped motivate researchers to discover, and recreate, how these gas bubbles dissolved in water.

      I would think you could stretch this paragraph out into multiple paragraphs since there are so many ideas.

    1. How carbonated water was prized for its curative properties and how commercial fountains, which claimed to artificially reproduce the benefits of spring waters, didn’t become widespread until the first quarter of the 18th century and then they were marketed primarily for their medicinal, not pleasure giving properties, it was because of soda water’s perceived therapeutic benefits that pharmacies became the main stage upon which the development of the fountain played out.

      This is a run-on sentence.

  2. Oct 2016
    1. Country Joe McDonald,”The FISH Cheer.” (Links to an external site.)

      One of the few explicitly political songs sung at Woodstock (the infamous Rock Music festival from 1969), the use of swear words in this anti-Vietnam War song was another reason it was particularly shocking.

    1. future.

      In many ways this is just excellent. Nice clear argument. Many relevant facts. The way to make it better is to match the facts in the body of the paper with the argument that you make so clearly at the beginning. How exactly do those facts prove this multi-faceted argument?

    1. George Lucas, scene from American Graffiti

      This scene illustrates drag racing, a popular activity for bored teenagers who wanted to show off their mechanical skills and manliness during the 1950s and early-1960s.

    1. Texas

      I think you'll need a lot more primary in order to make this topic uniquely your own. However, I'm also certain that those primary sources are out there and accessible to you without too much effort.

    2. Chain stores were kind of like a democratically-elected authoritarian. Consumers happily ushered them in, but did not imagine the results of consolidated power that would come to anger consumer groups and destroy small business.

      How is this thesis different from what you've been reading in the secondary literature?

    1. This book explains the origin of Chop Suey and the racial and culture change the food goes through.

      I didn't need the bibliography to be annotated yet, but when you do at the end it should explain how you, Stephanie, used it not what the book contains.

    2. During the nineteenth century Chop Suey started to transition through cultural exchange and developed into an American dish by accommodating Americans taste through cultural exchange and negotiations.

      That's awkwardly worded but very good nonetheless.

    1. 1920’s

      Matthew,

      You are skirting across a whole range of different topics instead of demonstrating some expertise. This is (just) OK for now, but I need to see a greater level of expertise by the time the draft is due.

    1. The bill’s sponsor, Senator Royal Copeland, was elected to the Senate with a large constituency of women. He sought to maintain their support throughout his career, and saw the bill as solidifying his political base in New York. Women provided him with political motivation to pass the bill. His motivation did not stem from support for FDR’s policies. In fact, he once primaried, against New Deal candidates. His motivation came from his disproportionally large female constituency.

      Yeah, this is really good.

    1. possible

      If you cover all of this stuff it may be the greatest Scalar project in the history of Scalar projects. However, feel free to drop and focus on some of the things with the most media and it may very well still be fantastic.

    1. Outline

      There are actually too many entries in this outline. You need to pick fewer of them and go deeper to prove an argument, not skirt across the surface of so many issues. You're going to be OK as long as you make some choices.

    2. House Hearing

      You'll need to go the front of the volume and get more specific about the committee. What Committee, for example? What subcommitee? Any bibliographice ntry needs at least as much info as necessary for someone else to find the same source.

    3. before the civil war era

      That's definitely too much time. To show expertise, I'd narrow to at least a fifty year period. I would figure the post-WWII era but then again I'm not the expert here.

    1. Products

      Dianne,

      There's a SERIOUS problem here. Every single one of these possible subjects is a paper in its own right. You are skirting over the surface when you have to dive deeper in order to demonstrate expertise.

  3. Aug 2016
  4. Apr 2016
    1. It is evident that the culture wars play such a huge role in the political make up of recent American history, but what is most significant is the backlash from these culture wars and its effects on economics as shown in Thomas Frank’s book What’s the Matter with Kansas?

      That's a good point, but a run-on sentence.

    1. If the girders of civilization itself were collapsing, there was no reason to struggle for personal success within the chaos.

      I'm not sure what that means actually.

    1. The possibility of losing their cherished culture, is enough of a motivational factor to recruit evangelicals, to involve themselves in politics, and to handicap the education of their children.

      Yes, that's the way to end a paragraph!

  5. laquanwordpresscomblog.wordpress.com laquanwordpresscomblog.wordpress.com
    1. With the information presented, we can agree that the racial discrimination against African Americans of the lower class, exploits the two important concepts; race and class. Both equally important and intertwined together.

      Cut all this.

    2. The preconceived judgment white Americans held against black Americans was their intelligence. Psychologically speaking, it was known widely that blacks were better suited for certain types of jobs, their laziness, and their dependence. How can one ever rise above their degraded position if never giving the opportunity by stronger powers? You cannot. Thomas Surgue, author of “Urban Crisis Race and Inequality in Detroit. *Michigan, states: “Racism is portrayed as a pathological condition, an unchanging part of white culture. But the word “racism” oversimplifies what was a complicated and multifaceted reality.” 89.

      This part should be its own paragraph. Build some more analysis on it too.

    3. The distinctions between the two are so intertwining, that discussing which is more important really depends on the person speaking.

      I actually agree with that, but this isn't an easy position to defend in a paper. The better idea would be to pick one and go for it.

    1. Unfortunately, at this time racism still ran rampant and it was caused more difficulties and problems for the Black middle class to stay alive than the white working class.

      Wait, so which side are you arguing again?

    1. The need of the white male to segregate themselves from the black formed an America based on race relations.

      How does segregation apply to a paragraph about culture?

    2. The belief in a white racial superiority changed the political landscape of Post-War America. 

      But you're talking about Wallace here, not racism in general. reference Wallace first.

  6. Mar 2016
    1. As deindustrialization struck many northeastern and midwestern cities, all working class citizens struggled to find labor but especially those with racial diversity. This struggle between all working class citizens ensured that the unfair and discriminatory policies of many factories, would become worse.

      This is exactly the way to start a paragraph. Keep hitting the point.

    2. In order to understand why these current events are happing it is essential to understand the evolution of the effects of race in America after 1945. When discussing and understanding American history after 1945, it is essential to understand how racial divisions changed America and predetermined class for many.

      It would be better to write exactly why those things are essential right here rather than to simply say they're essential without explaining why.

    1. Some whites were racist, but many whites were just trying to secure their own economic affairs.

      Again, I would explain the extra importance of class rather than try to degrade the importance of race.

    2. African Americans came to booming cities for work, although most times the work was hard and earned low wages. These workers and their families settled into cheaper areas of the city,

      You shouldn't have to retell the story of half a century in your first paragraph. Just make an argument that answers the question, then explain it.

    1. White Americans may have felt the economic hardships caused by deindustrialization, but they ensured that the African-American communities felt it harder.

      Now THAT is a killer sentence. I might try moving this up to the very top, explaining it better and building your argument around it.

    2. Race changed American popular culture

      Don't make this the whole center of your two-book argument. It might be worth a paragraph, but you have to fold it into a broader argument.

    3. Race divided Post-War American history into a white history and black history, with smaller subsets such as Chicano history still being discovered.

      I don't understand where this is going. I do understand however, that neither of your two points is explained very well in this paragraph.

    4. its influence in political elections and in the evolution of popular culture.

      That's a two-fer. Can you stick with one? Or can you at least devote one whole sentence to each point?