- Apr 2018
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Students.
Needs more text and pictures here. There are tons of pictures in the archives, right?
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Trujillo
I'd use the last surname like this in all mentions.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Present Day
I know what you mean, but does this page go here rather than near the end? Perhaps it depends upon how you populate it.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Adult Life Before UMAS
More please.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Early Life
Pictures here would be particularly interesting. Not to mention birthplace, parents,....you know, all the basic biographical stuff.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Such examples include aiding the Chicano Movement group UMAS of the University of Colorado-Boulder, the Coors Boycott, and the La Cucaracha Newspaper which was printed in Pueblo, Colorado.
You're repeating the same words as last page! And they didn't explain much even there.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Much of his work was focused on the Coors Strike, UMAS, and the La Cucaracha newspaper, all of which vastly changed and inspired that chicano movement in Colorado at the time.
This has gotta be longer and punchier, offering a better explanation of exactly why it matters.
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Murfin, Patrick.
Start with thank yous. Then list sources, and I expect a lot more than five when this is all said and done.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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workers.
Much, much more of this kind of analysis, please.
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"Although the IWW valiantly led the strike, it ended with no on the job representation."
All quotations MUST be introduced.
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Conclusions
Aftermath,
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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"On October 18, 1927 the miners of Colorado walked out under the wobbly banner. The governor created a special squad of state police and on November 7, the flying squad executed a midnight raid on the Walsenberg IWW headquarters and wrecked the place."
That's not even a very good quote. Use the multiple primary sources that you have access to, not a single secondary source.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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"The violent labor struggles of the past had there toll. Wages remained substantially lower in the non unionized states to the north, Wyoming and Montana."
Gotta have a lot more here than a couple of quotes.
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Part 2
Terrible title.
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Coal mining is well known to be hard dangerous work and the work done in Colorado was no exception. A handful of large corporations controlled the mines and working conditions were appalling.
But you just said the ERP was the cause of the strike, right?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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The 1927 strike marked a significant turning point in the plan as labor problems ensued in spite of the fact that the company reported that their employees were completely satisfied.
I expect this to be the heart of a 1927 strike Scalar, You'll need more text and pictures here, spread out over multiple pages.
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The Rockefeller Plan ended in 1942 as a result of the pressure from the Wagner Act of 1935 and an increase of production because of World War II.
This is aftermath.
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Strike 1927 - 1928
There must be a better title possible than this.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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The
This page is way too big. This part definitely seems like it belongs in the next section.
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the Employee Representation Plan
The what?
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1915 The Employee Representation Plan, otherwise known as the Rockefeller Plan, is established in the coal mines.1916 The Rockefeller Plan is established in the Minnequa Works and the Sunrise Iron Mine.1917 CF&I purchases and improves the Minnequa Dairy.1918 Eight hour workday becomes standard at CF&I replacing the previous twelve-hour work day.1920 Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo Vanzetti, who were known radical Italian anarchists in a post World War II red-scare world, were "accused" of a double murder of a paymaster and a payroll guard carrying $15,776 in Braintree, Massachusetts near Boston.1921 Sacco and Vanzetti were convicted by a jury that was prejudice against Italians, immigrants, and people with radical beliefs; which meant they didn't even get the chance of a fair trial. 1927 The two were executed by way of electric chair, which divided the nation, and caused sympathy strikes by the IWW and other sympathizers nationwide including the CF&I plant in Pueblo, Colorado.
Why is there a timeline just smack-dab in the middle of the page?
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Photo Credit: Denver Public Library Western Collection
How did you get this one? Did you pay them for the rights to use it?
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1904 - 1926
Weren't we gonna re-title this?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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stories.
I know I got to this earlier - hopefully via a path rather than through duplicating the same page twice.
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A
This page should be its own chapter at the very end of the entire Scalar book.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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In the mid 1800's
Always organize web sites chronologically. In these case I think I'd separate this paragraph completely and make it its own page. I'm not sure what I'd title it, but that page would be for information about orphanages in general.
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With the explosion of immigrants
Which explosion of immigrants was that?
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ECONOMICAL
Wrong word.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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No description available.
All these plans will need to be captioned and annotated by the end of this process.
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" Carnation Day."
Which was what?
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The basement laundry facilities were dismantled.
So what is there there today?
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Inc.
?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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They both worked together as Co-stars in the hit show titled the “Laugh-In”.
This paragraph should be organized chronologically.
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Dan Rowan's Story
It should be easy to get a picture of Dan Rowan.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Toni
You need to fix the paragraph structure here. That can be done by going to the source code.
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Toni's Story
Do you have pictures?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Colorado Chieftain
Is that the same as the Pueblo Chieftain?
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2316 Sprague Street
This is a good page, but some of this info should appear earlier.
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I like the Google maps here a lot. I would, however, pair each map with a picture of the orphanage that once occupied the same space.
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social stigmas
This doesn't make grammatical sense.
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The three orphanages which are Sacred Heart, Lincoln Home and McClleland are the three main orphanages in the city.
You need a much better introduction than this. When did the orphanages begin? When did they close? Who owned them? How many children did they house?
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influenced
Word missing
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are
word missing
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The orphanages in Pueblo
So there are still orphanages in Pueblo?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Pueblo Orphanages Transformation
Is a colon called for in the title? "Pueblo Orphanages: Transformations?"
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- May 2017
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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The Salvation Army used the popularity of their doughnut campaign in World War I to bolster their ability to raise funds in America.
This is great! Can youtell me more about this?
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Doughnut Girl
So you're writing about the Salvation Army and doughnuts? Why isn't this the key image yoiu use on the very first page oif the Scalar?
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Have you ever wondered why there is a hole in the center of your doughnuts?
I actually like this, but you have to integrate this in better with teh rest of the text. At the very minimum, this should be a sub-chapter of "doughnut defined"
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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To Ellen Brown in Donut Nation, donuts are the great American equalizer. They are both blue collar, and white collar, they are at gas stations, and on restaurant menus. They are at home in the boardroom and they are at home at the bowling alley. They appeal to all ages and across genders.
What's going on here?
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state.
A credits chapter at the very end of this is absolutely positively crucial. A must have (or else). Describe your research process in a paragraph or two, then credit key sources and archives where you got your media.
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The
Can you vary the wallpaper more?
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No description available.
You need to title and credit all pictures by the time this isover.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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German-Americans
Shorten the title.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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this topic
But what exactly IS the topic of this Scalar? I thought it was wine and ethnicity, but I didn't see very much here. The core of your Scalar, the original parts are dwarfed by the context.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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THE CITY OF WINERY AND COUNTY VINEYARDS!!
Don't mess with the formatting like this. Either every page has this kind of intro, or it doesn't.
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2. Adams, Leon David. Ibid, 198
No footnotes in a Scalar.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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a big area
Move this up closer to the beginning. This is the core of your project. It should be more clear earlier.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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ethnic work force
The ethnic dimension of this Scalar should be more clear earlier.
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- Apr 2017
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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it.
Needs a lot more introduction.
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Winery
wineries
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This
What?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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No description available.
The captions are going to be VERY important here.
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own
?
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tell you a story
So what's the story? It's your job to tell it.
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The Label as a timeline from when they started to when Fountain Grove vineyard expired.
That's not a sentence.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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county.
You have to introduce all these better. Introduce the texts before anyone clicks on them in order to read them.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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California.
You have to do a LOT more with this.
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Californians Native Americans Imigrants
Elizabeth, I expected to see more of this done.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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berries."
You need to either flesh this page out or cut it. It doesn't work in this middle state.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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climate.
Center the text. Center the video.
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Why
Please try to get more updating done before our meeting next week.
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This is another way to see wine and how it is created in a sense.
Drop that video. It's too off-topic. Doesn't help you.
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It was originally a beverage that was imported to United States from overseas. But during a period in history, Wine became a enterprise that the United State has monopolized. This is due to the Climate on the Southwest coast. The coast climate is similar to the Mediterranean climate, making it better for the Grape vine to grow. The wine production started in one area, moving from there to California because of the climate.
Play with the formatting. It can blend media and text better than this.
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Context
You gotta come up with something better to call this than "context"
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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This history will be explored
This is awkward phrasing.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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The Salvation Army continued to also use the popularity of the doughnut for benefit as well.
This (along with the WWI stuff) is the heart of your Scalar and it should be on multiple pages.
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As World War II
Should WWI get its own page?
-
)
Now that I'm at the end, I think I'd definitely recommend killing all the footnotes. Instead, write out a long sources/credits/acknowledgement page, which will be the last chapter of the Scalar book.
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WWI
WWII
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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1800s.
You definitely don't need this much WWI. Most chapters in teh Scalar should be about donuts.
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and the Salvation Army
That's the key part. DO NOT offer up the whole history of WWI.
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London.
Do you need this much Salvation Army? I'd expect more donuts.
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home
The first page should be a general introduction. The details that appear below should come later.
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Contents
For instance, this is a Scalar about donuts and the Salvation Army. There should be a lot more about that relationship here. Maybe two paragraphs?
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If this interests you, continue on through the book.
Don't write this. Entice people with interesting facts and tasty pictures of doughnuts.
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Doughnuts are and have been a staple in our lives. They are a quick, easy breakfast snack, an afternoon delight, or a cake to enjoy after supper. Doughnuts have been a part of our everyday lives for centuries but did not gain prominence until the 1920s.
First thing you have to do is center these blocks of texts.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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garden.
Obviously, many of these pages are going to require a lot more text.
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Source: YouTube
Didn't somebody post it there? Who were they? Where did they get it?
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Pennsylvania
I think all the regional stuff should be sub-domains.
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German
If you've got enough media, you can wallpaper every page with a different picture. It helps vary the user's visual experience.
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During the colonial era
Do you have to go back that far? Every page should have something about beer.
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today.
Shrink the picture.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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next
This makes no sense without a time frame.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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gardens.
Center this.
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Sunday.
You need to start playing with page formatting.
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sites.google.com sites.google.com
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how unfair and pointed the tax was
Are you taking sides?
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“They remembered, or their fathers had told them, of the exactions and oppressions in the old country under the excise laws that their domiciles were entered by excise officers, their most private apartments were examined, and that the confiscations and imprisonment followed the smallest quantity was discovered not marked with the official brand.”[23]
sigh.
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As stated above
Bad organization.
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it is ultimately necessary to discuss the Whisky Rebellion in the early America.
Why?????????
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Another result
Don't make it sound like a list.
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immigrated
emigrated
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"A quick tempered but sensual and playful people, they often dressed provocatively, acted with a volatile belligerence, drank to excess, engaged in constant and open competition in every form, and adamantly defied the attempts of outsiders to control them.”[11] The Scotch-Irish were the kind of people that drew attention to themselves. They stuck out in the American society in the way they spoke, dressed, worshipped, etc. They were everything that groups such as the uptight, puritan, and pious New Englanders were not. Interestingly enough, the Puritans were theologically Calvinists similar to most of the Scotch-Irish. "the puritans liked the neither Scots nor Irish...especially because of their illiteracy, their physical dirtiness and slovenliness, and their notable divergence from Puritan customs, habits, and outlook.”[12]
Filler.
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As a result
crutch.
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As a result,
Stop using :"as a result" as a crutch.
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A new use for the legacy of whisky in the New-World with the Scotch-Irish was an actual currency. “Usually cash-poor, frontier residents also used whiskey to pay for the goods and services they needed.”[10]
This whole approach is wrong. Youy don't make a point and then quote some historian, you write with teh voice of authority. You also introduce the quotes!!!!!!!!!!!!
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“The Scottish and Scotch-Irish who settled the back country of the southern colonies made great use of the combination of spirits and bitters, as it was believed that the bitters helped ward off tropical diseases.”[9]
Dude, have you ever, ever seen a history book that quotes this way?
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“Whiskey became a common table drink in the backcountry. Even little children were served whiskey at table, with a little sugar to sweeten its bitter taste. Temperance took on a special meaning in this society. Appalachia's idea of a moderate drinker was the mountain[8] man who limited himself to a single quart at a sitting, explaining that more 'might fly to my head.”
Introduce the quote!!!!!!!!!!!
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American culture
Explain this point in much, much greater detail.
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"The distinctive backcountry beverage was whiskey. A taste for liquor distilled from grain was uncommon in the south and east of England. But it was highly developed in north Britain, and was brought to the American backcountry.”[6]
Introduce the quote!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And why are you using it when you could paraphrase?
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James Logan
Who?
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[3]
Never end a paragraph with a quote. Analyze it.
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Susquehanna
You can't quote other people's quotes! That's simply not done because it shows you didn't look up the original.
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“The
- Introduce the quote! Don't leave it hanging like an island in teh sea. It's also far too long. Why do you nee dit all?
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that
that,
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Back
Now is not the time to jump into details. You have 25 pages to fill. You need to extend and explain your argument better.
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drinking culture
Did they drink anything other than whiskey?
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whisky culture
What is that?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Credit/Resources
Start with a few paragraphs about the research process.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Dante Bagnani
It's not hard to edit pictures. Didn't you do that for your Ludlow site?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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The labels
Where are all those labels I saw?
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Dr. Hyde
Who?
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When Thomas Harris
This should be the center of your Scalar. Why is there so little up yet?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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The Roman attraction
This is getting towards the "two tiny amoeba" problem. Can you concentrate more on your actual subject?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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World History
You really need better titles.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Sonoma County
You need a large map of California highlighting the location ofd Sonoma County right up front. And unless you want to make a point about RRs, don't use this one. It's practically illegible.
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A. Thomas Harris
Huh?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Let focus on a few topics. Here we GO!!
This just reeks of 3rd grade. Don't.
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as you can see
cut.
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track
tracked
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History
of what?
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Prager’s last request was honored and he was buried wrapped in the American flag.
Seriously, what the Hell does this have to do with beer gardens?
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German-American newspaper, The Fatherland, 19151898 Sheet Music: John Bull and Uncle Sam celebrate the Great Rapprochement
Bigger, please.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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http://www.ohiohistorycentral.org/w/Anti-German_Sentiment
Why is this stray link here at the bottom of the page? This has to be about your reserach and your voice.
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fellow Ohioans.
Ogh crap, is this one huge quote? Don't do that.
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During
This is a nice-looking page with very good formatting.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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What's so great about this article?
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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The Temperance Movement
Get Last Call by Daniel Okrent for your Prohibition details.
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disappeared overnight
Really? I thought Prohibition didn't take effect until 1920.
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Temperance movement
Movement
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America.
Formatting fail.
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"The hop harvest was more than just agricultural, but also offered social and cultural opportunities as many farms offered entertainment and camping facilities. More organized hop festivals grew out of the and of harvest celebrations in the migrant camps found at the fields. Pickers still have fond memories of these celebratory evenings, but less fond ones of the hard picking during the day. By the early 1950s the hop crop began to the decline and mechanical picking machines replaced the need for seasonal laborers. This change meant a demise of a large hop festivals, but also a shift in growing practices. Many growers abandoned their crops, while others increased acreage to pay for their investment in mechanical pickers."
That quote is too big. Chop it up. Offer more analysis as you go through it.
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hops.
All the pictures will have to be captioned and annotated.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Beer Gardens and German Immigration in America
You should be able to center this text better.
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immediately
immediately,
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brewers of beer.
I like this page, but it needs more than one interesting, coloraful picture of a beer garden.
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German
That picture is MUCH too small!!!
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Women in the Salvation Army 1 2017-04-11T19:00:07-07:00 Jason Hanratty 3be8a3d27a270399b0b9289c0daf19271961dc65 15530 1 Women's page plain 2017-04-11T19:00:07-07:00 Jason Hanratty 3be8a3d27a270399b0b9289c0daf19271961dc65 The Great War This page has paths: 1 media/Salvation Army Poster.jpg media/club_salvation_army_22.jpg 2017-03-02T14:30:54-08:00 Jason Hanratty 3be8a3d27a270399b0b9289c0daf19271961dc65 The History of the Salvation Army Jason Hanratty 16 plain 392299 2017-04-13T07:44:28-07:00 Jason Hanratty 3be8a3d27a270399b0b9289c0daf19271961dc65 Contents of this path: 1 2017-04-11T18:59:06-07:00 History of The Salvation Army in the United States 8 Salvation Army in the United States plain 2017-04-13T12:40:20-07:00 1 2017-04-11T19:00:07-07:00 Women in the Salvation Army 1 Women's page plain 2017-04-11T19:00:07-07:00 «
Good path. Needs more pictures. Personally, I like the old posters the most.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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Edward H. McKinley.
The heavy reliance on McKinley here isn't wrong, but the inclusion of footnotes really gives that away (which undercuts your authority).
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VideoScalar URLhttp://scalar.usc.edu/works/doughnuts-and-the-salvation-army/eliza-shirley (version 2)Source URLhttps://youtu.be/mLJ0QooGSPk (video/YouTube)dcterms:titleEliza Shirleydcterms:descriptionVideoView asRDF-XML, RDF-JSON, or HTML The Salvation Army continued to grow from these two individuals to a fundraising power, who assisted citizens, soldiers, and anyone else in need. Eliza's importance was highlighted in the 1930s when the Chicago Cubs held a moment of silence in her memory after her death.
You should be able to annotate each video with a hint as to why it's here. Don't just include something because you found it.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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[11]
I'm wondering if your footnotes aren't throwing off your page formatting. Experiment with other formats. See if they don't look better.
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Krondl warns us
Write with more authority. Don't just summarize sources.
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According to Paul Mullins in Glazed America: History of the Doughnut,
You don't nee dto do this.
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scalar.usc.edu scalar.usc.edu
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www.germany.info
You sure this is reliable?
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German Fat Tuesday
Bigger picture?
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The most famous form of these doughnuts though come from a region far away from Pennsylvania; they are in New Orleans and eaten during Mardi Gras.
Two sentences.
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jelly filled
The text photo alignment is nice.
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sites.google.com sites.google.com
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Conclusion:
So you wrote all the easy stuff and none of teh hard thinking? Did we cover some of what you'd argue in class? Why couldn't you get some of that down here so that we could kick the wording around?
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It has been argued
No passive voice!!!
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“The following is a summary of one man's load: In and upon his knapsack were closely packed one overcoat, two woolen blankets, one rubber blanket, one shelter tent, one dress coat, one pair of pants, undershirt and drawers, fatigue cap, and two pairs of socks. His haversack contained three days' rations of meat and hard-tack, vinegar, box of sugar and coffee, box of salt and pepper, can of condensed milk, butter, cheese, and cookies, tin plate, cup, etc. Attached to his knapsack was a large frying-pan.”
Filler.
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.[61]”
This is good arguing!
-
Due
I can tell already that this paragraph is way too big.
-
Andrew Smith
Who's he?
-
"Upon the faithful and able performance of the duties of the quartermaster an army depends for its ability to move. The least neglect or want of capacity on his part may foil the best-concerted measures and make the best-planned campaign impracticable. The services of those employed in the great depots in which the clothing, transportation, horses, forage, and other supplies are provided, are no less essential to success and involve no less labor and responsibility than those of the officers who accompany the troops on their marches and are charged with the care and transportation of all the material essential to their health and efficiency. The quartermaster's department is charged with the duty of providing the means of transportation by land and water for all the troops and all the material of war. It furnishes the horses for artillery and cavalry, and for the trains; supplies tents, camp and garrison equippage, forage, lumber, and all materials for camps; builds barracks, hospitals, wagons, ambulances; provides harness, except for artillery horses; builds or charters ships and steamers, docks and wharves; constructs or repairs roads, bridges, and railroads; clothes the army; and is charged generally with the payment of all expenses attending military operations which are not expressly assigned by law or regulation to some other department." -Officer with no name[41].
Again, a quote this size is really just filler.
-
Prue
Pure
-
reads as follows
Why do you need this entire quote? What purpose does it serve?
-
He wrote
wrote:
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Nicolas
You knew Appert personally?
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Since the dawn of the agricultural revolution
Why don't you start with the Civil War and get that out of the way? I think of necessary background as going a couple of pages in.
-
I will continue to add to this draft long after it has been reviewed and have a lot more to add!!
I certainly hope so!
-
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moreorlessbunk.net moreorlessbunk.net
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As can be seen by the achievements of these activists and protests
Based on the question, it would help if you took in more changes than just the Civil Rights Movement. After all, the general name for the unit is radicalism AND reaction. Why were the leftists more important than the conservatives? Don't the reaction people deserve at least a mention?
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Protests and activists didn’t stop there.
That's not analytical enough. Why didn't they stop there? Don't just describe. Explain.
-
“The truth his that a women with a college degree working full time makes less than a black man with a high school degree working full time. And a black women make least of all. In many parts of the country New York City, for instance women has no legally guaranteed right to rent an apartment, buy a house, get accommodations in a hotel, or be served in a public restaurant. She can be refused simply because of her sex”
If you're going to quote something this large you ought to cite the source in some way.
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for other minorities in the country.
What kind of minorities? Just racial?
-
it is easy to see the importance
I'd like to see a better explanation for the importance of this event other than "it's obvious."
-
On July 2, 1964
Actually, getting dates down to the day might be overkill.
-
On June 19, 1963, President Kennedy sent a bill to congress.
The events are being handled chronologically which is always a good idea when writing a history essay.
-
change.
At the end of the paragraph it is always a good idea to tie the facts back to your overall argument. That isn't done here.
-
Clergymen
small "c"
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Montgomery Bus Boycott
Good detail all through this paragraph.
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The powerful movement brought about so many great changes for the lives of not only African Americans, but also other minorities such as women.
This whole paragraph is a strong argument, but it should address the question that was asked a little more directly than this.
-
The
small "t"
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precede
prelude?
-
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moreorlessbunk.net moreorlessbunk.net
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ostracized
Not the right word.
-
The Feminine Mystique
Feminine Mystique (and good detail!).
-
Vietnam war
Vietnam War
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also
Try not to make the essay sound like a list of historical trends.
-
signified hope
How so?
-
“I have a dream” speech.
This deserves some elaboration.
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ames Meredith
Good detail.
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Civil Rights to be achieved
Achieved? Really?
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challenging the mindset and values of every generation that came before them.
I might have done a little more with the conservatism angle of the question (as is implied here).
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- Mar 2017
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sites.google.com sites.google.com
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How did the immigration of the Scotch-Irish to America and the resulting infusion of whisky culture shape American society?
Let me try asking your question deifferently to see if it can elicit a better potential thesis: What did whiskey mean to most Scotch Irish in America? I can't answer that myself, but maybe you can and use it to prove a narrower, less-prejudiced point.
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The affect of Scotch-Irish tradition on American culture is because of the whisky and resulting drinking culture that was prevalent with the Scotch-Irish immigrants.
- This doesn't make any sense. Simple subject-verb-object sentences are best.
- This isn't really an argument, it's an observation. You want to say something about that culture other than the fact that they drank whiskey.
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I have primary sources on foreigners observing American, Americans observing the Scotch-Irish and Appalachians, the attitudes of the Founding Fathers and whisky, and personal correspondence explaining the fairly common disdain for the Scotch-Irish because of their notorious reputation as whisky drinkers.
This sounds good. Try to get at last a 50/50 mix of primary and secondary sources.
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is justified
Hmmm. How prevalent does it hav eto be in order to justify it?
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moreorlessbunk.net moreorlessbunk.net
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Desegregation was beginning and suburbs were growing.
What does that have to do with this question?
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better.
...because...why again?
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The Berlin Blockade which occurred on June 20, 1948 was the Soviet Union blocking rail and road traffic to Berlin.
But why? How does this relate back to your overall argument?
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In return the Truman Doctrine was presented.
This is passive voice. Not a helpful way to phrase anything.
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a battle
Not an actual battle.
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