3,418 Matching Annotations
  1. Oct 2023
    1. I imagine if I could combine the feeling of song X, with lyrical content of song Y, and with the tempo and instruments like in song Z.

      a collage of influences?

    1. The marbled print was made

      more about this perhaps. how to you create the liquid design? how do you transfer it on to paper (or some other material)? how do you scan it?

    2. the concept of duality was deeply explored

      where and by whom?

    3. innate or otherworldly

      natural and otherworldly?

    4. ,

      cut

    5. mindfulness meditation and an artistic flow state

      parallelism

    6. I see our works in dialogue as they both contain an interest in improvisation and experimentation while utilizing water to convey messaging.

      This might land for readers more effectively it you'd told them more about your own experimentation

    7. , and

      remove "and"

    8. gave me full reign

      allowed me

    9. derivative, sparking arguments of authenticity and legal copyright infringement

      considered derivative by whom? probably important to specify

      ... often begets questions [rather than arguments] about authenticity and copyright infringement

    10. Within the diverse field of visual art, there are viewers, practitioners, and patrons who often make thought-provoking comparisons that stimulate debate and discourse.

      phrasing (there are):

      In the world of visual art, viewers, practitioners, and patrons often make thought-provoking comparisons that stimulate debate and discourse. For instance, when comparing fine art and commercial art, a practitioner might conclude that ...

    11. , and

      This is when my eureka moment occurred: I decided to compose ...

    12. mood board

      maybe elaborate on this? hyperlink to an example?

    13. this

      probably best to specify what "this" refers to

    1. As such,

      misuse of "as such"

      use after a noun showing your intention to consider that person, place, or thing independent of other factors

      Eg. I don't mind fees as such, but Ticketmaster's application of them seems excessive.

      In "as such," "such" is a pronoun, meaning it requires an antecedent

    2. to

      cut

    3. This article

      relationship between citation and annotation

    4. Goodstein, Emma. “Here’s Why Everyone Should Watch ‘Glee.’” Distraction Magazine, 1 December 2020. https://www.distractionmagazine.com/heres-why-everyone-should-watch-glee/.

      Use the following:

      A Page on a Web Site

      For an individual page on a Web site, list the author or alias if known, followed by an indication of the specific page or article being referenced. Usually, the title of the page or article appears in a header at the top of the page. Follow this with the information covered above for entire Web sites. If the publisher is the same as the website name, only list it once.

      Lundman, Susan. “How to Make Vegetarian Chili.” eHow, www.ehow.com/how_10727_make-vegetarian-chili.html. Accessed 6 July 2015.

      “Athlete's Foot - Topic Overview.” WebMD, 25 Sept. 2014, www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/tc/athletes-foot-topic-overview.

    5. aylor & Francis Online, 10 September 2012. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13676261.2012.718435scroll=top&needAccess=true.

      Is Taylor ad Francis a database, website, or online journal?

  2. ellahodgetts.substack.com ellahodgetts.substack.com
    1. There were also shortages of various goods and drug supplies which have historically been seamlessly imported

      word economy; characters and actions

      There were also shortages of various goods and drug supplies which have historically been seamlessly imported.

      Dwindling numbers of workers from other EU countries has devastated the UK labor market. What's more, many previously available goods-- including some pharmaceuticals-- are now in short supply.

    2. Op-Eds

      good be a good fit. maybe consider writing about left-right political realignment vis-a-vis class in the UK and US?

    3. However, I think I should narrow my focus to one topic, such as class, race, or immigration, rather than comparing two political climates at large

      agreed

    4. was a complex issue, sparked by ongoing

      was (past) -- ongoing (present)

    5. been present

      why use the passive voice? why not say:

      as a dual citizen of the US and the UK, i'm deeply concerned about the consequences of brexit?

    6. always

      always?

    7. is a primary source recording of Theresa May’s first speech after being named Prime Minister. Her argument centers around support for the common people. It uses statistical evidence on opportunity, education, and upward mobility rates for people of varying classes.

      in her first speech after becoming prime minister, theresa may uses statistical evidence to advance arguments in support of the "common people." she uses statistical evidence to show upward mobility rates for people of varying classes.

    8. This article outlines

      look for alternatives to this phrasing. try:

      Pippa and Kiran examine efforts on the part of the Labour Party to amend laws brought on by Brexit that have created economic and environmental challenges.

    9. the UK and US political landscapes

      ungrammatical: This article outlines similarities between the UK and US political landscapes in terms of rhetoric and ideologies.

      ... the political landscapes of the US and the UK ...

      OR

      This article identifies the ideological and rhetorical similarities between the political landscapes of the US and the UK.

    10. Cameron, David. “A NEW SETTLEMENT FOR THE UNITED KINGDOM IN A REFORMED EUROPEAN UNION.” Received by Donald Tusk, 10 Downing Street, 10 Nov. 2015, London.

      Why caps?

    1. A website would be more likely to reach its intended audience of Ghibli fans, since they primarily consist of online communities

      in the u.s.? don't you say above that ghibli tends to appeal to educated/academic audiences in the u.s.? do you wish to reach that audience, to build a new one?

    2. interactive website

      interesting. why? who's your audience?

    3. Two sources that stood out to me: a case study of Ponyo, and an analysis of Japanese mythological allusions in almost a dozen of Miyazaki’s films

      not a complete sentence

    4. incorporating liberal values such as feminism and environmental preservatio

      do the themes addressed in miyazaki's film's create controversy?

    5. Miyazaki and Disney's rivalry is discussed at length;

      does miyazaki's reach rival disney's? what's the basis of the rivalry? do what extent does miyazaki pose a threat to disney financially?

    6. I no longer doubt the credit ascribed to him

      maybe say a bit more about what you discovered. what information did you find particularly persuasive?

    7. Miyazaki Hayao, the mastermind behind the Studio and its unique aesthetic philosophy

      placement of "its" -- seems like you're referring to Hayoa

    8. peaceful

      what's a peaceful quality?

    9. the films’

      their

    1. local vs. national vs. international level,

      would the idea be to compare results vis-a-vis enforcement?

    2. but did not own a strong understanding of how IEL worked.

      a bit vague. can you be more specific about the extent of your knowledge? what you've learned completing WP2 should help determining the extent of your previous knowledge

    3. is so lax

      who's responsibility is it?

    4. fully wrap around i

      my head around?

    5. .

      awkward phrasing

    6. IWC

      which is?

    7. despite the raw number of laws is higher than ever

      awkward phrasing

    8. was contested,

      by whom?

    9. ;

      not sure about this semi-colon use

    10. is not a simple concep

      how would you write this in the affirmative?

    11. well-consolidated

      what do you mean by this?

    12. The article requires

      do you mean the reader needs this info to understand the article?

    13. (which worked for treaty creation) in IEL

      cut

    14. Professor

      cut

    15. Climate bandwagoning occurs when agents expand a regime or treaty’s mission to include new climate goals.

      The authors of this book article state that ...

    16. their

      to what does "their" refer?

    17. Bodansky published an introductory IEL book in 2010.

      cut

    18. “Urgenda Foundation v. State of the Netherlands” climate case chart, 2015, https://climatecasechart.com/non-us-case/urgenda-foundation-v-kingdom-of-the-netherlands/

      Erroneous citation (EasyBib?)

      From Purdue OWL: A Page on a Web Site

      For an individual page on a Web site, list the author or alias if known, followed by an indication of the specific page or article being referenced. Usually, the title of the page or article appears in a header at the top of the page. Follow this with the information covered above for entire Web sites. If the publisher is the same as the website name, only list it once.

      Lundman, Susan. “How to Make Vegetarian Chili.” eHow, www.ehow.com/how_10727_make-vegetarian-chili.html. Accessed 6 July 2015.

    19. USCLibraries,

      unnecessary

    20. 6,

      no comma needed

    21. “Climate Change Bandwagoning: Climate Change Impacts on Global Environmental Governance: Sikina Jinnah and Alexandra Conliffe” The Roads from Rio, Chasek, Pamela and Wagner, Lynn M, editors, Routledge, 2012, pp.217-239

      this citation doesn't make sense. who's the author?

      template: Last name, First name. "Title of Essay." Title of Collection, edited by Editor's Name(s), Publisher, Year, Page range of entry.

    22. Alec Tyson et al. “What the data says about Americans’ views of climate change” Pew Research Center,https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/08/09/what-the-data-says-about-americans-views-of-climate-change/

      From Purdue OWL:

      A Page on a Web Site

      For an individual page on a Web site, list the author or alias if known, followed by an indication of the specific page or article being referenced. Usually, the title of the page or article appears in a header at the top of the page. Follow this with the information covered above for entire Web sites. If the publisher is the same as the website name, only list it once.

      Lundman, Susan. “How to Make Vegetarian Chili.” eHow, www.ehow.com/how_10727_make-vegetarian-chili.html. Accessed 6 July 2015.

      “Athlete's Foot - Topic Overview.” WebMD, 25 Sept. 2014, www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/tc/athletes-foot-topic-overview.

      Corrected citation: Tyson, Alec, et al. "What the Data Says about Americans' View of Climate Change." Pew Research Center, https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/08/09/what-the-data-says-about-americans-views-of-climate-change/. Accessed 6 October 2023.

    23. ProQuest

      Unnecessary info (added by EasyBib)

    24. Brilé Anderson et al.

      Last name first; comma before et al

    25. 0

      end punctuation

    1. multi-media op-ed to develop my opinion on the future of internal Republican conflict while utilizing compelling photographs, maps, and audio to substantiate my claims.

      not sure op-ed is the right genre for this. a blog (substack/medium) post might work better

    2. picking the more racist electoral options

      more racist candidates? maybe provide examples

    3. the simplicity of the critically important theory for explaining Republican hegemony across the South

      maybe just say:

      its simplicity

    4. at the lower levels

      you could say:

      down-ballot Republican allies

    5. rhetorically similar

      cut

    6. I wrangled with the infamous Republican “Southern Strategy” as one of my first subjects in breaking down the Georgian political landscape.

      In 2018?

    7. temporally convenient progressive

      ?

    8. USC Libraries,

      unnecessary information

    9. D’Souza, Dinesh.

      at best a controversial source

    10. her

      his

    11. Brown, Jessica Autumn. “THE NEW ‘SOUTHERN STRATEGY:’ IMMIGRATION, RACE, AND ‘WELFARE DEPENDENCY’ IN CONTEMPORARY US REPUBLICAN POLITICAL DISCOURSE.” Woodside, Vol. 8, Iss. 2, 2016, Proquest, www.proquest.com/docview/1816620303?accountid=14749&parentSessionId=gbz0%2FbmkKeqoaAFIwkIfFgfREfpZI7q6Ragiv7IwEd0%3D&pq-origsite=primo. Addleton Academic Publishers, 2016. Accessed 23 Sept. 2023.

      This is a classic EasyBib citation. All caps, inclusion of unnecessary proquest material, etc.

    12. The Washington Post

      italicize or underline newspaper titles

    1. great aid in forms of therapy. I imagine myself turning to more casual sources

      this seems like an odd choice given what you're suggesting arguing.

    2. mental health

      why are these studies on mental health "scientific"?

    3. A

      New paragraph?

    4. op ed

      not sure about this choice. unless you can show correlation to a current event and/or boil your remarks down to something much more focused, you probably want to choose a genre that will allow you to stretch out more

    5. multi-media analytical essay or an informational essay specifically about Fire Emblem

      good. for what audience, and why?

    6. As video games are stereotypically seen as harmful to people’s health-for example: the issues of the rising population of  hikikomori or a rise in obesity and health issues as a result of decreased physical activity) it was interesting to discover the avenues in which video games could have a positive effect on health.

      phrasing and mechanical issues

    7. health research

      interesting. but i still don't know why you're looking for connection to health sciences

    8. Engaging with various texts led me to a narrow list of thirty four sources that stuck out to me, and I carefully read through each one until I came up with my twenty source bibliography.

      good

    9. (Nintendo), and RPG games as a whole.

      and what about that?

    10. health sciences

      why must it relate to health sciences?

    11. Fire Emblem series. Before engaging with the discourse surrounding the Fire Emblem series, I had played a few of the titles within the Fire Emblem franchise

      lots of repetition

    12. Brockmann, Andrew. “Victory Probability in the Fire Emblem Arena.” arXiv.org, Ithaca: Cornell University Library, 2018. Accessed 21 Sep. 2023.

      Another EasyBib citation

    13. Simulation & Gaming

      italicize or underline book or journal titles

    1. Although NIL has created many opportunities, it has also had negative consequences on the integrity of the game and they must be addressed. In the future, I plan on writing an op-ed on this topic. I have many opinions regarding it and would love the opportunity to share more.

      develop further in new paragraph

    2. I also failed to consider the impact of NIL on women’s sports. In proposing this legislation, Sen. Skinner raised a great point, many female athletes do not have the same opportunities to go professional as men.

      run on

    3. I was not aware of the resistance from Universities to resist NIL.

      confusing phrasing

    4. hadn’t.

      good opening

    5. has raised concerns

      for whom? dickert? the article's author, colton?

    6. advocate for change in compensation and mental health

      what about mental health? what's the connection?

    7. This speaks

      The last three annotations begin the same way. Look for phrasing alternatives.

    8. scrutiny

      odd word choice. maybe say:

      Author Richard Borghesi examines the ethical and legal liabilities that accompany failing to compensate college football players and assesses proposed remedies such as NIL deals and salaries.

    9. Part 1

      Where are the other 8 sources?

    10. Applied Economics

      Italicize titles

    11. .

      why bold?

  3. annaleighbos.substack.com annaleighbos.substack.com
    1. progressive media

      Does progressive media need another voice denouncing Putin? Maybe think a bit more about your perspective as a russian-american and who might benefit most from your comments.

    2. personal op-ed on how monuments or propaganda are used to manipulate the Russian population.

      this is quite a swerve away from discussing monuments!

    3. publicly endorsed

      by whom?

    4. One significant

      good place to begin a new paragraph

    5. remained shrouded in obscurity

      to you?

    6. persuasive.

      Room for tightening:

      Author Nir Eisikovits refutes the five most prevalent arguments against the removal of controversial monuments: that removal rewrites history, begets ex post facto moralizing, forecloses debate making society less healthy, fails to address real issues, and establishes precedent for future censorship. Published against the backdrop of the Black Lives Matter movement's resurgence in 2020 and the ongoing efforts to remove Confederate monuments, this article aims to persuade a broad audience about the necessity of monument removal. Its clarity and compelling arguments make it highly accessible and persuasive.

    7. Adams, W. S. “Address at the dedication of the astronomers’ monument at the Griffith Observatory, Los Angeles, November 25, 1934.” Publications of the Astronomical Society of the Pacific, vol. 47, no. 275, 1935, pp. 11–14, DOI: 10.1086/124530.

      Did you double check your formatting before clicking submit?

    1. (Huntsville, Tex.),

      why in parenthesis?

    2. In addition to the analysis of novel-to-film adaptations, I think I’ll also talk about fidelity and creative liberty in the process of adaptation. Given the different nature of novels and films, I imagine I’d favor the latter – creative liberty – as I examine the adaptations and make a conclusion

      This sounds like a lot. Also, it's clear given your bibliography You might consider building on that work by discussing why some adaptions prioritize creative liberty and what the consequences are.

    3. unless it’s a really awful and careless adaptation

      can you name an example?

    4. and the like

      awkward

    5. .

      Take-aways: primarily academic sources (why?); some phrasing issues; some citation inconsistency

    6. – a consistency in adaptations

      what does this phrase refer to?

    7. As the evidence, it examines some unconventional edited films’ storytelling to explore the relationship between writing and editing.

      Awkward phrasing:

      Loftin examines the storytelling of some unconventionally edited films to explore the relationship between writing and editing.

    8. This text discusses fidelity in film adaptations. It aims at examining the film adaptation of the lengthy novel Gone With the Wind, evidenced by comparing the two forms of the work.

      Revise first two sentences:

      This text compares the film adaptation of Gone with the Wind with Margaret Mitchell's novel of the same name to show that ...

      Explain what the article aims to show

    9. BULGAROVA, BELLA A.,

      why all caps?

    1. ince my information is argumentative I think I will write an analytical essay to critically think about the topic or create a multimedia piece to include the music.

      definitely you'll want to include audio samples. what audience do you have in mind? knowing will help you determine what kind of analytical essay to write

    2. With my new view on branching out within Afrobeats, I think it will be another aspect I talk about within my argument.

      awkward construction

    3. I don’t understand why they have to undermine Afrobeats as being one-tone when I think it’s the exact opposite of that.

      to whom are you referring? how recent were these comments made?

    4. it

      to what does it refer?

    5. in

      that have occurred over

    6. Growing up my dad played Afrobeats all the time, but it had an old-timey feel and almost transported you to a different time.

      Growing up, my dad played Afrobeats all the time, but to me it had an old-timey feel ...

      and almost transported you to a different time.

      Why "you"? Do you want the reader to understand this as a negative thing?

    7. The piece included

      always discuss texts using the present tense

    8. This political acknowledgment correlates to the musical recognition African artists are getting after the success of their music, western powers are now taking Africa seriously.

      This political acknowledgment correlates to the musical recognition African artists are getting. After the success of their music, western powers are now taking Africa seriously.

    9. 3. Blinken, Anthony. “THE UNITED STATES AND AFRICA: BUILDING A 21ST CENTURY PARTNERSHIP.” Economic Community Of Western States, 19 Nov 2021, Abuja, Nigeria.

      Here as well.

    10. 2. "The Rise and Legacy of Afrobeat Music From Fela Kuti to Modern Artists. AllAfrica Global Media. 2022. https://www.proquest.com/docview/2803264672?accountid=14749&parentSessionId=eZmC0fef1KvPsXWUYizcsGJM8pxzOJSCy9Ia5S%2BuZ5c%3D&pq-origsite=primo. Accessed 14 Sep. 2023.

      Same problem here. As I warned repeatedly in class, bib generators ALWAYS contain errors.

    11. 1. De Witte, Marleen. “From bokoe bullying to afrobeats: Or how being African became cool in black Amsterdam. In: Locating African European Studies: Interventions, Intersections, Conversations.” edited by Felipe Espinoza Garrido, Caroline Koegler, Deborah Nyangulu, Mark U Stein, Routledge, 2019, 62-78.

      This citation must have been created by EasyBib.

      Proper MLA Citation of an article from an edited collection: Last name, First name. "Title of Essay." Title of Collection, edited by Editor's Name(s), Publisher, Year, Page range of entry.

      De Witte, Marleen. “From Bokoe Bullying to Afrobeats: Or How Being African Became Cool in Black Amsterdam." Locating African European Studies: Interventions, Intersections, Conversations, edited by Felipe Espinoza Garrido, Caroline Koegler, Deborah Nyangulu, and Mark U. Stein, Routledge, 2019, 62-78.

    1. honor, esteem and power

      what kind of honor, esteem, and power?

    2. t may also be more — a signifier of a type of white person.

      What type of white person does blonde signify?

  4. Sep 2023
    1. more of us vomiters out there than you think, and we have a responsibility to make life easier for those who believe that their writing habits will always hamstring them.

      one aim: to recuperate the "vomit writing"

    1. When I think back to the “beginning” of my journey as an artist, I find it, like many others, a difficult thing to define.

      Like many other artists, I find it difficult to define the “beginning” of my journey as an artist.

    2. I was a STEM kid no more.

      maybe say more about your experience in STEM. a natural fit?

  5. savannahtoney340page.substack.com savannahtoney340page.substack.com
    1. follow trends in filmmaking, but I have also seen creatives forge their own paths, tell their own stories - their way - and then that somehow becomes the new trend

      maybe develop this contrast further, and give examples of trend-following vs. following one's own path

    2. always

      always?

    1. I signed up to join ‘set crew’

      a random swerve back to the art world

    2. feelings of isolation,

      trauma; questioning artform

    3. interactive installation ar

      maybe say more

    4. my commitment to climbing

      have you mentioned this before? climbing in what sense?

    1. waiting for the day his photography business took off

      it would be easy to gloss over this. isn't this detail more significant?

    2. with

      for

    3. dark, but for the first time in my life, It felt like people actually needed me

      how is that dark

      also, "it"

    4. Not only was my mother pushing me to get a degree In a high-earning field, but I myself was worried about the legitimacy of a career in film and photography.

      phrasing. try:

      My mother continued pushing me to get a degree in a high-earning field while I fretted over the wisdom of pursuing a career in film and photography.

    5. - It

      use a colon and lowercase "i"

    6. Every time I close my eyes, it is as if my internal shutter has been closed and my lens has been cleaned, ready to capture another picture. - Based on various articles from The Atlantic

      is this a direct quote?

    1. .

      more on discursive context. who other than Durkheim did you engage with and draw information from?

    2. Another example

      new paragraph

    3. Thr

      new paragraph

    4. I then go

      new paragraph

    5. The lab report

      new paragraph

    6. These projects were assigned in class by a range of different subject

      phrasing. assigned by subjects?

    7. t that

      who

    8. seek feedback from other people around me

      cool

    9. I did not yet understand how to write college-level essays like that which my writing professor expected of me.

      phrasing. try:

      I did not understand how to write college-level essays

      OR

      I did not understand how to write the kind of essays my writing professor expected me to produce

    10. industry

      industry? or just within classical music?

    11. Now that I’ve been exposed to the real process of writing and publishing with fewer boundaries and rules surrounding genres and language

      where? in this class? or somewhere else?

    12. James CoomberSeptember 4, 2023Writing 340Professor David TomkinsWriting Project 1

      no need to include

  6. hlee2543.substack.com hlee2543.substack.com
    1. assigned readings

      what were they? elaborate in order to describe discursive context

    2. "Katniss propels her demands while getting increasingly agitated and using a louder tone, all while towering over her listeners. Contrary to female stereotypes, which communicate subordinate status and vulnerability to trespass through a message of no threat, Katniss’ movements here are abrupt and stiff, communicating force and threat rather than flexibility and cooperation, making an actor look masculine. Katniss, in this context, demonstrates her confidence by realizing the power she holds over the rebellion, refusing to compromise with Coin. Importantly, she achieves her demands without resorting to exploiting female sexuality, a tactic that women often employ to gain protection, wealth, and the vicarious benefits of power.”

      set apart as a block quote

    3. persuasive essay

      did it have an argument? if so, it aimed to persuade

    4. The dictio

      new paragraph

    5. or broader discussions of gender norm

      such as?

    6. my lens essay

      for which class?

    7. .

      wow. now that's a long paragraph

    8. my club applications at USC

      new paragraph

    9. Another

      new paragraph

    10. Now, let's

      new paragraph

    11. In the "vaccines essay,"

      cut

    12. a similar prompt to my Hunger Games essay

      phrasing, try:

      an assignment similar to the one that prompted my Hunger Games essay

    13. controversy of vaccines and autism

      phrasing. try:

      controversy over vaccines and autism

      OR

      controversy over vaccinating autistic children

    14. Take,

      new paragraph

    15. I

      new paragraph

    16. I've

      maintain present tense

    17. First and foremost

      redundant

    18. Upon my journey of scouring through past Google Docs to find the perfect combination of writing pieces I have created since entering college, I have arrived at a ratio of two college essays, two personal reflection academic essays, and two extracurricular essays

      phrasing. try:

      After scouring Google Docs to find the perfect combination of pieces I've written since entering college, I settled on two college essays, two personal reflection academic essays, and two extracurricular essays.

    1. my work doesn’t clash with any of the many previously published work and research in the discursive context of Petr

      such as? part of what we're looking for here is information about the discursive context. what figures did you engage with? what views were espoused? what texts did you draw from? where does your work fit in to the discourse?

    2. simply determine if we had any interest in archaeology and if we wanted a strong grade in the class

      lol

    3. it’s not like I was publishing the never-before-seen juicy details of a new finding from Petra

      so, a collection of extant data, then?

    4. .

      it's not clear why, though. because you were allowed to discuss your own set of monsters?

    5. a sort of breakdown

      ?

    6. aptitudes

      for?

    7. “daft”

      lol

    8. incentive of payment and publication attached to it. This heightened the stakes along with my ambition

      another factor: stakes

    9. freedom

      okay, so freedom is a key component to enjoyable writing

    10. lab-grown meat and its viability as a future food source for a GE class. This was one of those rare instances of required writing that I didn’t sign up for.

      curious transition. maybe begin with something related to your major

    11. as an English major,

      cut. you've already said this

    12. voluntary writing sprinkled amidst all of the rough drafts and revision

      for some writers, drafts and revisions are attendant to their voluntary work, too

    1. One example

      first mention of a specific piece of writing

    2. All the

      new paragraph?

    3. I had been accepted to a few universities

      new topic

    1. .

      this ending is a bit abrupt. we still don't know what kind of art you specialize in, or how (and in what way) you've synthesized the experiences described above into an artistic identity

    2. Just like m

      new paragraph

    3. The

      new paragraph

    4. The way

      new paragraph

    5. .

      wow. long paragraph

    6. the artist themselves also being the ar

      how? is this always the case? are making art and being art the same?

    7. I couldn’t say I want

      wanted? are you still talking about the past?

    8. tangible

      in what sense tangible?

    9. To my knowledge it was a fun show to keep my young mind distracted. Cartoons weren’t an art form. It wasn’t something to be studied or analyzed. It was some made up story to keep children occupied.

      this is what you thought as a child? or what you were told?

    10. Even at a young age, I considered why. Why this color? Why this setting? Why this song? I never knew how analytical I was of cartoons as a child.

      seems a bit contradictory. you never knew, but you did it (and remember it)

    11. Like many, cartoons

      opening phrase refers to you, but the subject of your sentence is cartoons