"religion as a crutch for his crippling anxiety" oh my god. you've nailed it. the yunho characterization. the complex role of religion. oversharing, but when i first started learning more about yunho i was absolutely shocked and stumped by his faith. this is the parasocialism taking over but i genuinely, genuinely would think about it, turning over the idea of god and good and faith and why in the world ateez jeong yunho held onto it so strongly. i'd say even up to two years ago i never "got" religion. i remember in high school reading a book called "the god delusion" because i was raised absolutely devoid of faith and had so much trouble Believing in myself better yet something greater than me. but, things started to make sense. i think maybe that just takes time. but i remember being in agony wondering why the hell jeong yunho, who is good in every way i understand the word, needs religion. what's so wrong with him? i would ask myself. it's one thing to be born with faith, it's another to choose to hold onto, to come back to it. i had been taking that evil and sin class as well as that diary class and was deeply contemplating the role of confession in truth and why is it worth it to even say any of this out loud. and, well, it's because you get to be yourself after. after so much repression, so much secrecy, so much hating yourself for being who you are, in the end you're going to die so you might as die Yourself. thank you for this. it's like these past few years of my life have been articulated