remove comma

I really appreciate how you captioned the images

Very nice!

the sentence appears incomplete

Clarify

Rephrase for clarity

Here is

which?

past tense to match the remainder of the sentence

Break this down into two parts.

attended

he would sometimes talk poorly about his performance during activities, indicating low self-esteem.

grammar, rewrite for clarity

no comma necessary

Acronym alert!

position his left upper extremity to facilitate weight bearing and engage the muscles on his left side.

sat at the edge of the bed

Try to find a synonym for the word "time" which is written 4 times in 2 sentences.

he

the OT evaluation

you can place the comma here, after the word knee

remove comma

This quote

Not really...it's not describing an aspect of your time....what is it describing?

Here is

Cute video

use a toilet

how to help potty train a child with autism

To make it easier to read, avoid repeating the same word in a sentence. Here you repeated the word "time". Consider rephrasing the beginning of the sentence: While at Pediatric......etc., I spent a lot of time....etc."

Where is it included? Perhaps rephrase: On my final evaluation, my educator at SF explained how I improved in my education and communication skills ....during my rotation with the following comment: "Clare has ...etc."

Break down this sentence into two.

I find this sentence confusing. Is there another way to rephrase? Can you write the sentence from a first-person point of view?

This is an incomplete sentence

• instead of "her dressing, her upper body bathing, her...." can you simplify and say something to the effect of--I observed her dressing, bathing, grooming.....etc?

to avoid repetition of this word, can you think of another one to use here?

the two words together, before during, are confusing. Please rephrase

acronym alert

rephrase for clarity.

use...abuse is judgmental

remove word

she

remove, this is redundant

However, in her previous..

rephrase for clarity: an amputation of her right leg below the knee (below knee amputation = BKA).

Start a new sentence. It poses a threat...

word order--move up in the sentence before "affecting"

do you need this part?

Spell out any acronym/ abbreviation the first time it appears, and place in parentheses if you intend to use going forward.

Spell out

The Linked In requests my login information to view your profile--and I don't have one! The resume shows that it is a private account and I need permission to view...you may need to change the setting to allow public viewing.

I would change the word order: ...to safely manage clients' intravenous and other lines.

either spell this out or write a generic word that describes what HIPAA means....e.g., privacy, confidentiality

plural to match the next word

had

Did you treat diagnoses or people?

I wish you could tell about this experience to your classmates! It is so powerful! What a great story!

The position of this sentence in the paragraph is confusing because it doesn't follow the chronological sequence of events you are describing. I would recommend that you reorganize the sequence of sentences to follow a more chronological order, to lessen the reader's confusion. Either way, THIS IS SO AWESOME. Boy did you take a worthwhile risk!! So proud of you!

It

YAY! I am jealous!

Great work!

different visual skills/components (select one and be consistent)

remove word

team members?

Nice

extra word

advocated

can you find a synonym?

clarify

repetition--please rewrite for accuracy and clarity

did you work with diagnoses or people?

spelling

spelling

remove word

remove word

the

participated/ partook

I created fliers for the event

spelling

grammar

Lovely

"I also" is repeated--can you find another way to express this without repetition?

find a synonym--I counted the word "assignment" three times in the last two sentences.

him

to insert a space between words

What a great story!

past tense

remove word

Shorten for clarity

Fabulous example!

he

it

I am sure you are trying to convey a good experience, but be careful of using language that could appear evaluative or patronizing, even if you are trying to express a positive sentiment.

For example, the sentence could completely be misinterpreted to read that your pleasure is someone else's disorder.

I would suggest that you simplify: During my time...etc...I worked with a...

remove capitalization

Synopsis needed

Lovely reflection

remove word

It

he

remove word

Rewrite for clarity. Please use past tense.

The sentence, in addition to the previous one, needs to be moderated so that you don't sound like you are making unfounded assumptions about ALL people in acute care. Perhaps, "I observed clients who struggled physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

always?

for which they are completely unprepared.

This paragraph is a great example of how you provided a synopsis of the image above.

It

separate the two words

spell it out

Imagine I was blind and could not read the image--provide a synopsis

Provide a brief synopsis of the artifact, in case the person reading this cannot access the image.

a visual what?

Nice!

Sweet!

grammar

use one or the other, not both words

no need for capitalization

unnecessary word

In general, there needs to be more space between the text above the heading--there's more space after the heading and its associated text than from the previous text and the heading. It looks odd throughout the portfolio on all pages

past tense

Lovely reflection

rewrite for clarity--sounds like the oxygen became out of breath, not the woman

Please provide a synopsis of the image for someone who cannot read it

was

learned (remove the word have)

Great.

spelling

they

Cool, never heard of this! I'm stealing for future use!!!

I would rewrite for clarity. Suggestion: One specific example is how I educated clients to dress after coronary artery bypass...etc

educated

Lovely!

Make sure you spell out the acronym/abbreviation first time using it, and then place in parentheses. Someone reading this might be an administrator without knowledge of OT

Yes! Stay in touch with me for sure!

use past tense, as this will all be behind you once you are ready to put it out into the world.

Perhaps rephrase. Suggestion: I developed this portfolio while I was a second-year student...etc.

Love this landing page--very joyful. However, I would phrase this in the past tense as you will have completed your FW by the time you use this as your professional portfolio going forward. Also, I would combine the home and about me pages into one single landing page, to make it easier to navigate.

needed

If someone was accessing on a screen reader, what would the image say? Please provide a synopsis. The same applies to all of the instances where you provided an image of text

reverse order--first spell out then place in parentheses

seems to be an extra word here

I love this, wish I could see the product! You are a good writer

no capitalization

grammar

I don't see the need for both Home and About pages; perhaps you can condense them into one landing page.

See previous comment

Acronym alert! Make sure you spell this out and place in parentheses the first time you use the acronym if you are going to continue using throughout the portfolio.

Spell this out--not every reader may be familiar with the acronym.

Lovely

possessive

Grammar: possessive

Can you find a synonym for "things" so that the word isn't repeated in the sentence?

possessive

Did the patient need to be changed? Or did they need to be cleaned?

Place a period after the word occur, and start a new sentence with the example. You can start the next sentence with the words "For example, after a therapy session one patient had an unexpected bowel movement....." or something along those lines.

grammar: possessive

held a leadership position as treasurer

spelling

spelling

Grammar: incomplete sentence

These are brilliant!

tasks

their

needed

Rewrite for clarity: think of the order of actions

I felt unable to

or I was unable to

grammar: possessive

unnecessary capitalization

Grammar

Do you need this clause? What is being said? Is this clause necessary for the rest of the sentence?

such fun!

that day

the

tense

I bet it was productive in terms of other outcomes that were not addressed in his IEP goals, such as socialization and participation in group activities

punctuation

the presence of his best friends.

The

of his classmates

he

grammar

Describe

see previous

see previous comments

became

You prioritized both?

grammar/spelling

Acronym

see previous comment

Rephrase for clarity, word order

reached

because I struggled with this initially

grammar

what do you mean by this phrase? Can you express it more clearly?

past tense, noticed

See previous comments about screenshots of discussions, and other images.

use past tense...I wrote a note

acronym alert

grammar, possessive

Avoid repetition of the word "this"

asked...and created.

see previous comment--were you treating the caseload?