ade task u
grammar
4,692 Matching Annotations
- Apr 2022
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otamypatton.weebly.com otamypatton.weebly.com
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as if
what do you mean by this phrase? Can you express it more clearly?
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was able to notice
past tense, noticed
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OT
See previous comments about screenshots of discussions, and other images.
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was able to write
use past tense...I wrote a note
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SLP
acronym alert
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s
grammar, possessive
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This was my first time treating this
Avoid repetition of the word "this"
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was able to
asked...and created.
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treating more of the caseload
see previous comment--were you treating the caseload?
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saw her use or use h
rewrite for clarity, try to avoid repeated use of the word "use"
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certain
specific
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treat the caseload.
did she treat the caseload?
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ings:
what is it showing?
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If she had questions for me I was able to provide feedback to how I would do something to allow her to have a different perspective.
Rewrite for clarity, I am not sure what you mean,
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fieldwork educator gave me the opportunity to share my initial goals for this rotation and asked about my learning styl
Try to avoid using repeated phrases like "gave me the opportunity", which is repeated in the next sentence.
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otamypatton.weebly.com otamypatton.weebly.com
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was a research article published
Concise. This article was published in...
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to my fieldwork educators.
this phrase needs to be placed after the word "presented" earlier in the sentence
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research
Is this the most accurate verb?
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ed:
Does the second RASS question read--Are there fish in the SEAR? I can't tell, it's small on my end.
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badge card.
Fabulous
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OTs
grammar, possessive
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OTR/L:
Synopsis needed.
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EP
Acronym
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I was able to select five students to complete comprehensive evaluations on using standardized and non-standardized assessments
Grammar. Please revise for clarity.
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ions
See previous comment about screenshots of discussion posts
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h a
research project
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EBP
Acronym alert!
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ns:
Find a synonym for the word discussions, so that it's not repeated. Also provide a synopsis for someone who cannot see the image.
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research
is it accurate to call this activity research, or reading?
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I was a consumer of research as I took the time before this rotation to review the research presented to me to be prepared.
This sentence needs revision for clarity
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early mobilization protocol
grammar==an early protocol? early protocols?
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team.
Great
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TNOTA
Acronym alert--has this appeared before?
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otamypatton.weebly.com otamypatton.weebly.com
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OTR/L
Provide a synopsis of the comment
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had the opp
see previous comment.
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ail
Love this!
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had the opportunity
remove this phrase--it is overused. Simplify--I collaborated with my FW educator...
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to incorporate tactile input
incorporate into what?
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n
-themed
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This
What does "this" refer to?
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etermine
use a synonym so you are not repeating the same word in the sentence.
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e
a
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ts
grammar
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/
Provide a synopsis--assume person reading this cannot access the image.
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get t
her to go to
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For this student I discussed with my fieldwork educator and the student’s teacher to determine what their current plan was when transitioning.
Grammar--can you express this more concisely and clearly?
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that I would be working with
with whom I would be working
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OT he felt more confident in going home
Grammar. Perhaps...."how working with OT gave him confidence to go home".
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ADL task
acronym and grammar
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TBI
acronym
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these clients
them
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are scared they are going to fal
past tense
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begin
past tense
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PT
acronym
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or majority
most
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s or assault
Check grammar for the entire sentence
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itz, OT
see previous comment about posting images with written information
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allowed us to maintain an open
opened up a
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his
It
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with who
with the person
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ol
Love this
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ion to who I was and that I would be assisting in OT services for their child.
It's really difficult to understand what you are trying to convey--please rewrite for clarity.
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students familie
grammar
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c, OTR/L:
provide synopsis. See previous comment
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client’s
grammar
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confirmed with the nurse
what did you confirm?
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had the opportunity
It wasn't an opportunity--it was part of your work. Can you rephrase?
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R/L
Provide a synopsis for the reader who may not be able to view the artifact. Treat the images as decorations rather than as content.
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culture humility
grammar
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ICU
Make sure you previously placed this acronym in parentheses.
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of these
which? do you need the words?
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With that being said
what being said? Do you need this part of the sentence?
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ROH
Acronym alert--I didn't find this in parentheses previously
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a wide variety of
remove words--"a wide variety" is synonymous with "diverse"
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had the opportunit
worked
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otamypatton.weebly.com otamypatton.weebly.com
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pme
Remove this landing page as it goes nowhere and is confusing
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otamypatton.weebly.com otamypatton.weebly.comRESUME1
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e
Great!
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otamypatton.weebly.com otamypatton.weebly.comABOUT6
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T
This section is wonderful. I think you can make the entire website a little more streamlined by combining this page with the first one. Also, the linked in page askes me to log into my linked in account (which I don't have) rather than leading me directly to yours. You should be able to put a link to it on your resume tab, rather than having a separate one.
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positive on
certain (remove the word "on")
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OT is a unique profession that works to empower and increase confidence in each and every one of our clients to achieve their occupations and every day activities that are meaningful to them
Rewrite for clarity
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where the ultimate goal is to promote independence and improve quality of life.
Separate this sentence from previous--it's too long
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widespread
wide range
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OT
Acronym alert!
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otamypatton.weebly.com otamypatton.weebly.com
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ICU
Acronym alert! Spell each one out at the first instance.
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myself
me
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madisonpayne-ot.weebly.com madisonpayne-ot.weebly.com
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I have provided
is
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I was open with
Is there a clearer, more concise way to say this?
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words.
Lovely
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an activity that is challenging for them
a challenging activity
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o
Very nice!
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I have provided
are
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Below I have provided a journal reflection I typed up for myself on this experience for anyone interested in hearing more on why this opportunity meant so much to me and what all I did and observed during this experience.
Please shorten this long sentence; I appreciate you providing the reflection. I am hesitant for you to use it since it can be misinterpreted as patronizing or condescending--e.g, "individuals...who are probably feeling lost, lonely, and forgotten". While this may be true in some instances, in other cases you may be making the wrong assumption. There may be individuals who feel like they have a role, friends, and safety in the prison environment which may be better than what they had experienced prior to incarceration. You and I may not be able to wrap our minds around this but we cannot make assumptions about how people feel, unless they say so specifically. There are probably people in all walks of society that feel lonely and forgotten--not just in the prison system. You may be right about some of them, but you may be wrong about others.
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mportance/relevance of kitchen related activities on psychosocial factors.
Rewrite for clarity please
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I decided to create a meal prep activities binder based on the information I learned when researching the psychosocial benefits of cooking interventions as well as my observation of a lack of meal prep activities for individuals with impaired cognition
Shorten the sentence please
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do in order to maximize my knowledge on this setting and learn more about what OTs can do to make a difference in the lives of these individuals.
Remove this from the previous sentence and start a new, clear, concise phrase.
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but to be
feeling
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that I have been so interested in for so long
remove this, it makes the sentence long and labored.
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ed
Fantastic!
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because she stated she did not have time to check on patients who were not on her caseload
This is a very long sentence, difficult to understand. Please shorten or revise the last part.
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e
at Encompass North
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at Encompass North
see previous comment about word placement
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My discussion board post goes more in depth of
I described
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on.
Lovely
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have been
was
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who still have eligible years in th
Not sure what this means. I commented on this earlier. If you elaborate in the previous section, then trim up this one--no need to repeat the information.
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had the opportunity to work
worked
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My confidence and self-assurance grew so much because of this responsibility my educator entrusted me with, and I believe I demonstrated it well the more opportunities I was given to do this.
Rewrite for clarity
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e
Wonderful reflection!
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After lots of practice with my educator supervising me
Use more concise language
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with reaching
to reach
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weaknesses within this setting were
weaknesses were within this setting
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super aware
is there a more professional phrase?
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are
were
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has
remove word--this should all be in past tense
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have
remove word
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nce
See previous comments about describing the artifact...what does it say?
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e agreed that every Friday afternoon after we were done treating and documenting that we would sit down together and go over what site objectives I had met throughout the week as well as the areas I was improving in and the areas that I still needed additional practice and confidence in
Break this down!
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madisonpayne-ot.weebly.com madisonpayne-ot.weebly.com
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ntion decisions.
Don't expect the reader to have to search these images for the relevant information or read these discussion board posts--provide a synopsis. The image should just be a decoration.
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will go more in depth of what I learned about incorporating an oral hygiene protocol for patients who have had a stroke
Not sure how to read this.
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was always striving
strived or continually strived
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I have provided
more concise language: Below are screenshots..
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left neglect and right inattentio
see previous comment
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that I was unfamiliar with
with which I was unfamiliar, or unfamiliar to me
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t me.
You may want to erase the name of your FW educator and the others copied on the email, to protect their privacy
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is. I
How wonderful. My eyes teared up reading this. In a good way! Proud of you for carrying the torch!
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and that
and told me that
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one specific girl who had
more concise language
a girl with
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had the opportunity to attend
attended
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ADL
acronym alert!
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oe
did
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During my first treatment session with this patient, I learned more about her interests and what leisure activities were most meaningful to her when I had her complete the Activity Card Sort (ACS)
Rewrite this sentence for clarity. Perhaps-- During my first tx session, I had her complete the ACS. I learnt about interests and leisure activities that were meaningful to her.
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the just right challenge
either:
provided the patient with just the right challenge, or
provided the patient with the "just right challenge".
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ADLs;
acronym alert!
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CVA
Acronym alert! Spell it out the first time on the page, if you will continue using it.
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I have
remove these words, they are unnecessary
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ope.
Provide a synopsis; see previous comments.
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specifically researching about the community reintegration skills we can educate them on and help them achieve for themselves
was this research? or a literature review? Also, the sentence is very long. Perhaps break it down and rephrase this part?
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I have provided
is
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I ended up finding an online presentation via zoom where there would be a special guest speaker who is a doctor and specializes in different types of cancer
Write this in past tense. ....presentation by a doctor (or what? physician?) who specialized in different types of cancer...
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able!
Great
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from
on the website
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research
is it accurate to call this "research"?
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is in control of
controls
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t
right-sided
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t n
left-sided
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madisonpayne-ot.weebly.com madisonpayne-ot.weebly.com
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ech
I bet you were! So proud of you
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OT school based on my own personal experience as well as to make sure I was evaluating and treating patients with integrity at all times because I knew they were watching me.
This is a very long sentence, and the last part doesn't completely seem to relate to the first part.
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ns
Nice!
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HIPPA
either write this out, or use a layman's explanation. It's okay to talk about protecting the privacy of other patients' information.
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I was exposed to
to which I was exposed.
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as if
that
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wing in this area
see previous comment about screen shots. Please provide a brief synopsis of what it says, for a reader who cannot access the image.
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I am associated with
with which I am associated
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myself
me
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more open
what was the result of your advocacy? did they agree to include OT? did they agree to continue offering a FW placement? How do you now they were more open?
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Neither of these programs currently provide occupational therapy services to their interns; therefore, I was able to advocate for and explain the unique perspective of occupational therapy within these settings by preparing and leading meaningful group sessions, assisting with adapting occupations such as cleaning and cooking as needed for each individual intern, and educating the other team members (primarily special education teachers, educational assistants, and job coaches) on what they can do to support interns who may be experiencing sensory processing challenges or behavioral issues.
This is a very long sentence. Please revise, break it up into separate sentences to make it easier to understand and read.
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who still have eligible years within the public school system
what does this mean? does it mean that they are still eligible to receive support services through the education system until age 21?
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terested
This is fantastic! How is it different from the previous criterion?
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unfortunate situation
Be mindful of potentially judgmental language. Even if you mean well, you don't want to risk coming off as patronizing.
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I have posted a screenshot of a discussion board post I wrote elaborating on how I advocated for these individuals during community eve
Assume the reader is blind and cannot access the image. What does it say? Give a synopsis. I want to know about your actual advocacy activities--give me an example.
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Most of the time these young adults will end up staying at home with no job unless their caregivers are motivated to help them with the processes of this
What does "this" refer to at the end of the sentence?
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This leads to some young adults being left with nothing at the end of their time allowed in the school system.
Rephrase, not sure what "left with nothing" means.
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Transition Academy is a great place to learn life skills and even job readiness skills, but the one downfall of this program is -if you are here for your last year of eligibility- you will not have someone helping you find/placing you at a job once the program is over. The main goal of Project Search is to find all of the interns a job by the time the program is over, but the main goal of Transition A
Reorder. Describe Transition Academy and Project Search earlier, before telling how you helped clients. I was confused and was asking myself what these things were.
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Liberty’s Station, which will be a job training program for individuals with disabilities who need supported employment as well as for individuals with various employment obstacles such as post incarceration, homelessness, and addiction
I recommend two things: describe Liberty's Station earlier in the portfolio, in the previous section, and rewriting it in present rather than future tense.
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who have “fallen through the cracks”
Past tense....clients who "fell through the cracks"
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have been a
were
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madisonpayne-ot.weebly.com madisonpayne-ot.weebly.com
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ence.
lovely
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erapy.
fantastic
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hen I would evaluate a patient, I would use the Rehabilitative Frame of Reference by completing an ADL assessment to determine what their current level of function was and use my clinical judgement to create short term and long term goals to support them in regaining their independence as much as possible.
Break up this long sentence; check grammar
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ment.
Lovely
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rking with.
Very nice. Perhaps describe to the reader what Liberty's Station is? I am very curious to learn more.
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this
what does "this" refer to?
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working with one of the interns at Liberty’s Station on their interview skills.
Consider revising the order: While at Liberty's Station, I worked with one of the interns on their interview skills.
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rney’s
remove apostrophe; plural: journeys
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out
the word "out" is confusing to me--is it intended? Will the sentence work without this word--will it have the same meaning?
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madisonpayne-ot.weebly.com madisonpayne-ot.weebly.comAbout3
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E
Lovely section!
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apy
place OT in parentheses here
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classes
grammar--possessive
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- Apr 2021
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otalexmiller.weebly.com otalexmiller.weebly.com
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ducator o
Place the abbreviation in parentheses here
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them
it--singular, not plural
You said "each time I received a sticker"
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otalexmiller.weebly.com otalexmiller.weebly.com
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mitment to b
See previous comments here==this is plural, not singular--remove the word "a"
commitment to being lifelong learners
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smaymoundokot.weebly.com smaymoundokot.weebly.com
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to
to help our patients maintain connection to their communities
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s to
for our clients
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d:
Remove colon and replace with a period
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smaymoundokot.weebly.com smaymoundokot.weebly.com
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. (2020a)
Why the "a" after 2020?
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0a
Since this is the only source, I don't see why you included "a" after the year 2020
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smaymoundokot.weebly.com smaymoundokot.weebly.com
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FWE
spell this out. Previously on the page you used this acronym as an evaluation.
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FWE:
spell this out
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had one client who was very sweet, but her activity tolerance was extremely low
See my previous comment and please reword. Being sweet does not contradict (but) having higher activity tolerance.
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foods he was ate! I
check grammar please. See previous comment.
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during my time there
remove this clause
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who
remove word
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It ranged from people who
See previous comment. Remove all these words and replace with the word "Some"
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nd t
Start a new sentence.
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They are
were
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to w
who work together
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ts to just tr
see my previous comment and please make the change
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her
my clinical educator's (or fieldwork educator's)
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on meeting both my
Please check font size across all pages for consistency
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