- Apr 2021
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otalexmiller.weebly.com otalexmiller.weebly.com
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seen that
saw it
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hen you place something of value onto one's treatment, their participation increases.
Use first-person language.
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It also became a great activity to write out grandkids names and send them a picture for my older adult
Rewrite. Hard to comprehend.
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e suction toys
I see what you are trying to say but it's requiring me to re-read and re-read to understand. Please rephrase this sentence for clarity.
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t was a great activity for kids to learn how their letters
grammar--something might be missing in this sentence.
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wit
during
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patient was getting
plural
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atient's
plural = patients'
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sis
plural
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OCP
explain, or describe differently. Imagine that a hiring manager is reading your website--which is not unlikely!!
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There are many different diagnoses that come in and out of the therapy gym each day
Nope. People come in an out. Change to person-first language! You were treating people, not diagnoses!
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was a bundle of nerve
Place this clause at the start of the sentence for clarity
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(IRF),
unnecessary since you don't use the acronym again. Only place the abbreviation in parentheses if you plan to use it going forward, otherwise, just spell it out.
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As I mentioned,
Unnecessary
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ollaborate with
discuss? talk about? debate? converse?
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One of the more beneficial workshops I had the opportunity to be apart of were Journal Club Meetings.
Rephrase. Perhaps:
Participating in Journal Club meetings was beneficial to me as a student.
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It was
What was?
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We
Who?
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e
they
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They
Meetings
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otalexmiller.weebly.com otalexmiller.weebly.com
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of the da
Nice job!
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cond reason being that if they are unable to interpret their instructions, it could affect their dignity which is a core value in the AOTA Code of E
Rephrase for clarity
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One reason being that if they can't read or understand the instructions, this could put them at risk at home for safety.
Rephrase for clarity
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is
was
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means that my patient needs to be able to und
past tense
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helps you underst
past tense; first person
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ere
past tense
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ilit
Describe artifact
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WED
acronym alert
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pediatric caseload
a caseload of pediatric patients--after all, you were treating the patients, not the caseload.
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treat a full case load
you were treating people on your caseload, you weren't treating the caseload.
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and do so
redundant
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(PEO)
no need to place in parentheses if you are not going to make use of the acronym going forward
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it
not sure what "it" refers to. Rephrase
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it was always
what does "it" refer to? rephrase
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fluctuate from
rephrase
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it
what is "it"
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HSC.
describe artifact
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s that they both put
for putting an
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or
to
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bout
remove word
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Something that
Remove words
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UTHSC
acronym
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nt
facility
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y.
Nice reflection. Please describe artifact below.
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pull suction toy
one or many? grammar
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our
ours
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PT
acronym
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effec
affect
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Covid
See this website for the correct way to reference the pandemic virus
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cally.
Great
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OT and their ADL st
acronyms
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th
work
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I'm so thankful to be in a position where I can make efforts to help those who aren't able to help themselves just yet.
Past tense. Also, please provide a synopsis of the artifact below
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post d
this is jargon. Perhaps--life after discharge
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he
I anticipated he would need
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exponentially better than he was
Rephrase
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t's like you hear of this existing, but it was if I didn't believe it.
Reword. Grammar
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eet. I
both, or one?
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nd it resulted
resulting
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e d
of
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otalexmiller.weebly.com otalexmiller.weebly.com
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profi
Provide example from FW
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mind.
? mine? If so, reword--advocating for others is my passion
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ttle
Please provide a synopsis of the artifact below.
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nd hope
Example?
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the increase in determination
in whom? the kids or adult clients?
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could do it.
do what?
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e pretended to be our own superhero, saving the day as we propelled ourselves on the scooter boards and flew across the trampoline for proprioceptive and vestibular inpu
who is "we"? Are you referring to you and your FWE, or to the child? Please clarify
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that
remove word
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the
grammar
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no matter what you have to do to get there.
use I statements, and past tense
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h bite. S
Can you give a specific example with one child?
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g
creating what?
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Pinteresting
don't assume every reader will know what this means--can you clarify, or find a better description?
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der
disorders
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er w
hyphenate for clarity
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2
two (see APA for guidelines about using numerals or words)
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se,
courses
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by
in
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your s
for your own
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know
knew
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can't
couldn't
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did swing
swung
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use e
used
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acting out of
behaving with
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here's a time and a place for it all, but whatever you need to do to avoid spilt milk is always the best method in my book.
Rework this sentence. Great reflection.
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can not.
cannot
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e alt
of
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ad.
Provide synopsis of artifact below.
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you too have success
refer to yourselff
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you see
I saw
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evel II fieldwork is when you really start to see a difference in your abilities and therefore your confidence.
Talk about yourself and in past tense
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these things
what things?
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This
It
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NBCOT q
Acronym
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mpleted.
Great. Provide synopsis of artifact.
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ADLs
acronym
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onversation piece
conversations
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want to
past tense
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e to demonstrate is getting lost in conversation with my patient
past tense
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ass
passed
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ad the opportunity to teach
taught
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th
lengthy?
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is
past tense--was
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l and a
Start a new sentence. I immediately adapted....follow with a specific example from your FW experience and don't forget to mention the artifact as well.
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its
it was
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g cl
a
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have become
became
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hen t
Remove the word Then
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ven minima
not sure what you mean here---minimal response can be positive if previously there was none
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even
remove word
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t'
remove apostrophe
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I think this question is speaking to feedback from a professor or fieldwork educator, but
Unnecessary here. You can remove all of these words.
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ack.
Please provide a synopsis of the artifact below.
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I was presented with several scenarios in learning from my fieldwork educator that weren't exactly the type of model that I learn best from
Rephrase for clarity
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this
What does "this" refer to?
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otalexmiller.weebly.com otalexmiller.weebly.com
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Creating rapport upfront leads to your patient cooperating and participating in the plan of care you create.
past tense; also, find a synonym for the word "create" as you used it at the beginning and end of this sentence.
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ADL
acronym
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We
I
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we determine
I determined
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we observe
I observed
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worked every time.
Love this! See previous comment about the photo and make sure that anyone reading your website knows they were taken and posted with permission.
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of
for
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ore.
Great activity!
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all was
were all
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determine their emotion
each of their emotions
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contained pages
not sure what "containted pages" means
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This
What?
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at home.
Fantastic!
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involved patient
involved in what way?
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sfers.
Great! I love the photos--make the statement that they were taken with permission. Also, mention to the reader what the artifacts below are.
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OT
acronym alert...have you already told the reader what this stands for?
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this
what is "this" referring to?
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getting to
remove words
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make therapy play
turn therapy into play
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and
Start a new sentence
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had the opportunity to
worked
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t Frozen
for someone reading this who is unfamiliar with the movie, perhaps you can rephrase, 'my 90-year old patients were much less about the movie Frozen and much more...
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rformanc
Fabulous reflection. Alex, what is the image below? Does it relate to this criteria? If so, please provide a brief synopsis to the reader.
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rehab.
So wonderful that you got to collaborate with a dietitian.
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has
past tense
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this
not sure what "this" is referring to
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we've
I'd
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influences were involved i
In his past he was involved in
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majorly encompassed
composed mainly
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otalexmiller.weebly.com otalexmiller.weebly.comAbout Me2
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ofession itself.
This is such a beautiful reflection, Alex. Makes my heart swell with pride and gratitude.
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MOT
acronym=spell out in the first instance, and if you intend to use going forward, place in parentheses.
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otalexmiller.weebly.com otalexmiller.weebly.com
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m learning in clas
past tense
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nter
use past tense
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kayleestem-ot.weebly.com kayleestem-ot.weebly.com
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e, too
Can you provide an example of an occasion where this worked?
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I needed to be confident in how the activities I chose were addressing the child's goals to discuss this with the parent.
Rephrase
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ay.
Can you give an example?
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to efficiently complete
on efficiently completing
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this
it
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e to this
see previous comment
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discussed this
rephrase--here is the third time you used the word "this" in two sentences--it becomes difficult to understand what "this" is referring to
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this
it
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eviewing
use a synonym so that you don't repeat the same word twice in the sentence
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During one session within a busy day
Can you rephrase for clarity?
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tay
Nice example. What happened next?
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For the group members' growth, asking follow up questions and providing comments on their sharing allowed them to further reflect and develop necessary skills to utilize in their recovery and post-discharge
Shorten, simplify, or break up this long sentence
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12 weeks
12 week rotation
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at inpatient psychiatric
at an inpatient psychiatric facility
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kayleestem-ot.weebly.com kayleestem-ot.weebly.com
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day
Can you give a specific example?
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ement.
Describe it
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helps to
helped me
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described below
Provide a synopsis.
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and how
Start a new sentence
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Mr. J diligently took notes throughout my groups on things I discussed and what other group members shared.
Reword, or break down for clarity
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The example used above
Perhaps reword.
The image above is a screenshot from a blog post in which I discussed the impact of leisure activities on the overall mood of two patients. Etc. Etc. Etc.
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they can use similar activitie
who can use? the therapists or the patients?
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n o
with
-
ons
did you communicate with a profession or a professional?
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o.
Provide a synopsis of the artifact, so that a person who cannot view the image knows what it tells about you. Also, can you give a specific example?
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are
were
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age
remove word
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kayleestem-ot.weebly.com kayleestem-ot.weebly.comAbout me8
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e
Great pictures, so wonderful to see your smiling shining face!
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find joy in finding
use a synonym for the word "find" so that you don't repeat yourself
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r
hyphenate
under- and uninsured
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e
past tense
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I begin my Level II Fieldwork experiences.
Perhaps this sentence needs to be removed since this is no longer relevant, it is in the past.
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OT
don't use any acronyms before you have spelled them out first, then placed in parentheses--only if you intend to use the acronym going forward on this page. Acronyms should be written out on each page at the first instance used followed by parentheses but only if the acronym will be used again on the page.
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second
third
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B.S.
Bachelor of Science
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kayleestem-ot.weebly.com kayleestem-ot.weebly.com
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second
third
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rachelcrabtree-mot.weebly.com rachelcrabtree-mot.weebly.com
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benefit.
Very thoughtful post!
You are correct--you weren't in the room during the evaluation, and there could have been other effects of medication, delirium, weakness, disorientation, post-surgery anesthesia, etc. which might have explained the lower scores compared to the following day.
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G
spell out
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FIM
spell out
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n-p
see previous
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uctor:
please provide a synopsis
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hs
use full word
-
but not limited to
unnecessary clause
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IVs,
intravenous lines
-
are attached to multiple lines
use lay terminology
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is
was
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post evaluation
what do you mean? Use lay terms, not jargon
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in-p
see previous
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at its cor
remove, it's redundant
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bases
foundations
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tenants
tenets
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