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laurelpitman-ot.weebly.com laurelpitman-ot.weebly.com
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maintained
stayed
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iew research while on fieldwork. I will continue to actively participate in leadership roles after graduating from occupational therapy s
Nice
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AOTF
acronym alert!
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By discussing with the client an appropriate outlet to deal with his emotional frustrations, we were empowering the client to attempt a new way to express his emotions in a more functional, acceptable, and appropriate manner.
Please reword. Please also provide a brief synopsis for those who don't want to read the image below.
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discussion board
remove words
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ome
Nice example
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are
past tense
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treatment plan
plan a treatment
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the use of it
its utility
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to
remove
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has
remove
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has
remove
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has
was
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ADHD
acronym alert!
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discussion board
post
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addition
strategy
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lanned
plan
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a diagnosis
since you mention two, this should be diagnoses
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daily.” -Sh
Great job! I am so proud of you!
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have
past tense
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hroughout my time as a student, one situation that was difficulty to encounter was communicating to clients and family members that a client is not safe to drive after a traumatic brain injury at this time due to Tennessee State Law.
Please break down this sentence, which is too long.
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th the client.
This brought tears to my eyes! What an amazing story, Laurel! I hope you frame that letter!
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s wife
I love this example. This is pure gold.
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body part due to his ports
Rewrite this sentence. Perhaps,
Because of his ports, he needed to use a different washcloth to clean each part of his body to prevent cross-contamination or infection
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clients were not allowed family members to visit or stay the night
Rephrase.
Due to COVID-19, clients were not allowed to receive family members or visitors.
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more confidence when speaking with patients and is able to use therapeutic use of self in order to engage her patients.” -Shelby Disler OTR
Great job!
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was provided
had
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per, O
Nice
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while being
as
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Doing
Using
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is
was
-
ered.” -
Lovely! Bravo!
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streng
Nice work!
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opportunities to gain in confidence when communicating
Can you elaborate?
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is
unnecessary word
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Rachel Runyan, OTR/L, Rachael Roper, OTR/L
Two Rachels!! With varied spelling, of course! Nice work.
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ion above
Great example.
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doesn’t
didn't
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while I was a student in inpatient rehab.
remove this clause
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I have enjoyed learning from the feedback I received from my fieldwork educators. I enjoyed learning through asking questions to gain knowledge from my educators, and seeking feedback on my performance.
These two sentences are very long--can you rephrase more simply or succinctly?
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have
I enjoyed
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to
the
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laurelpitman-ot.weebly.com laurelpitman-ot.weebly.com
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had the opportunity to attend this continuing e
The course was during lunch time and was attended by the staff therapists.
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I also had the privilege of attendin
I attended
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I had the privilege of listening to her and a speech therapist present on their findings
Were they presenting their findings, or were they reporting what they had learned to their colleagues?
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ee
seeking
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upational therapy through mentoring, research, presenting, and publishin
Can you provide a link to your project, particularly since it is in the public domain?
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gathered research with classmates in order to work together to write the Critically Appraised Topic regarding the use of splints in treating radial nerve palsy in adults
Please simplify
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I provided information regarding safety modifications for their home environment such as removing rugs, increasing lighting, grab bars, and adaptive bathroom equipment based on available research regarding safety.
Change word order:
I provided contemporary evidence-based information regarding safety in the home environment, such as removing rugs, increasing lighting, installing grab bars and use of adaptive bathroom equipment.
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I was given the opportunity to chart rev
Please reword and remove the repeated phrase "I was given the opportunity" or "I had the opportunity"
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a decrease in his balance
simplify; decreased balance
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and th
Wonderful! Bravo!
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ons
spelling
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ence bas
hyphenate
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red trea
Nice work. Client-centered needs also to be hyphenated
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b
hyphenate
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I had the opportunity to have many
Please remove the words "I had the opportunity" and simplify, e,g,, "My educator and I had many discussions about the SOS-based approach".
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hyphen
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iscuss
past tense
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I had the opportunity to listen
I listened as
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S
hypenate
SOS-based
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are not
were
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have f
past tense
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SLP
spell out before abbreviating
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laurelpitman-ot.weebly.com laurelpitman-ot.weebly.com
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ructions about the transfers steps, clients are able to assist with the transfer more and maintain saf
Please provide an example from your FW experience.
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is
was
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There is a balance is maintaining client safety, and also wanted to increase the independence of the client and their functional independence scores
Please reword. Perhaps..
I needed to balance client safety with facilitating increased independence in mobility. Something along those lines.
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Sometimes the decision has to be made if a second assist is needed when transferring a client in order for the client to transfer safely
Please simplify this sentence, it is very long and wordy. Also, use past tense. Finally, select a different phrase for second assist--it is jargon
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for their needs
Please provide a concrete example of an occurrence during your FW
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emain
past tense...perhaps instead of remained use the word was
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ent
Nice
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,
and
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often
change word order.
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ance evaluation to serve as evidence for meeting this criteria along with the examples listed above.
Please provide a concrete example
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Having two therapists working together helped when brainstorming ideas to increase the child’s motivation and participation in order to achieve desired outcomes
Can you give an example to illustrate?
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seen
evaluated
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if any other disciples (PT, SLP)
recommend evaluation by other disciplines (e.g., physical therapy, speech language pathology)
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I had the opportunity to discuss the clients on my caseload during those meetings with the other disciplines
word order
I recommend the following:
During those meetings I discussed the progress of the clients on my caseload.
Remove the words "had the opportunity" because they are frequently repeated.
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ysicians
see previous comment.
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logists
change to the name of the discipline
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I am working to create client-centered interventions for all staff members to use in order to provide benefit to the clients
Will you be doing this once you graduate, or should you remove this sentence?
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This was an organized way for clients to practice identifying dollar bills and coins as well as provide the appropriate amount of money when given an amount
Rewrite for clarity
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Kroge
grocery store
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IADL
see previous comment about abbreviations
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feel
past tense
That you felt would value...or that provided value to the clients? Not sure of the choice of words.
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ADL
Write it out first time followed by the abbreviation in parentheses, but only if you'll use the abbreviation going forward.
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hirty minutes later in the day, or we would save some evaluation items for the following day
How did this relate to advocacy for clients who were neglected or underrepresented?
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When evaluating a client with a TBI, my educator and I would have to assess what to complete within the hour time frame in order to gather the most relevant data.
Reword
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ecause some of the clients required more assistance in ADLs due to their traumatic brain injury diagnosis, I modified the evaluation process to help advocate for their needs to implement an appropriate evaluation to then provide the best level of care.
Please break down this long sentence, it's too long to comprehend.
You might want to consider positioning this sentence later in the paragraph, because the next sentence paints a good picture of the issue you encountered.
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laurelpitman-ot.weebly.com laurelpitman-ot.weebly.com
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nts.” -Shelb
Bravo!
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e client’s primary goal during therapy to help incorporate their occupational goals into treatment sessions and adapt as needed
Please give a specific example.
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is
was
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tional performance.
Lovely.
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Inspiring confidence is important in order to build a therapeutic relationship with clients and to help maximize function in cl
Very nice. I like that you described what was in the image of the discussion board below, and it is what I expect from my mentees so that the reader (e.g., a future hiring manager) doesn't have to try and read the image. Basically, by describing what's in the image of the discussion board, you are making it accessible to a reader who can't necessarily see what's in the image (e.g., if someone with low vision was reading the page using a screen reader)
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n excerpt from my final performance evaluation from my Level II A fieldwork educator as my evidence for meeting this standard. “Laurel is able to evaluate and analyze all aspects of a patient when completing an assessment in order to determine best course of treatments in order to fully achieve all that the patient needs to.” – Shelby Disler OTR/L
This is very well written and a good example for this criteria.
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t is important to communicate effectively to clients, family members, and staff to help ensure that a client is safe to return home and to increase carryover at home.
Please provide one example of what you did. Was there a client who was challenging to discharge? What you wrote is wonderful, and has broad generalizations. Make it come to life with an example.
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ily.” -Shelby Disler, OTR/L
Bravo, Laurel, this is really wonderful feedback
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drop off
past tense
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ttend
past tense
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Below is an excerpt from my midterm performance evaluation when working on the brain injury team of an inpatient rehab center.
Please reflect on a specific example of this criteria, something that happened during your fieldwork.
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laurelpitman-ot.weebly.com laurelpitman-ot.weebly.comAbout me4
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helping individuals be successful and accomplish
helping ...and accomplishing
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to
in
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second
third
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B.S.
Write it out since it is the first instance of using the abbreviation
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pam-ponce-ot.weebly.com pam-ponce-ot.weebly.com
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s are based on how much time is spent with our clients and the kind of service that is provided. However, even though a client may be receiving occupational therapy and physical therapy services simultaneously, that does not necessarily mean they will be billed for both. It may be more profitable for the institution to do so, but client care and how they are affected is more valuable. If we spend only one unit’s worth of time with the client, instead of charging an occupational and physical therapy treatment/evaluation for each, only one of us will bill for a unit. That way the client is not being unfairly charged for the profit of the institution.
Past tense. Can you provide a specific example of an instance when this happened during your rotation?
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ccupational and physical therapists
were assistants ever present or involved? Consider more inclusive language
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essio
Nice!
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llows
past
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It is not uncommon to have a client not look particularly enthused to see the therapy team walk into the room. Nevertheless, by the end of the session, clients almost always claim they feel better and are glad they participated in the session.
Past tense, please write your own experience, not a generalization. Please provide an example.
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goes
can go
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in
to
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A part
Part of
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we hear
I heard
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serve to
remove words
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you witness
please use I statements. This is not everyone's experience.
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exhausted countless resources and innovatio
did you exhaust innovation?
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ssist (when needed) to the student.
Reorder assistance to the student (when needed)
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We were limited to school-based interventions that were/were not normally used.
Confusing
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t right challenge” to yield benefits as opposed to furthering their injur
Can you provide an example of something that happened during your FW experience?
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so it is important to help your client’s through it with verbal encouragement and compassion, while simultaneously being mindful of their limitations and boundaries
separate this sentence from previous
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ent’s
apostrophe?
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AROM or PROM
acronyms
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However, after educating the patient on why it is important to keep their affected or fractured extremity moving, they are more willing to participat
past tense
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almost intentionally cause pain
were you intentionally causing pain, or were you mobilizing with the unexpected resulting pain? Consider rewording
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patients experiencing high levels of pain is an appropriate example.
Grammar. Difficult to understand this sentence. Please rewrite.
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ke
takes
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Experiencing negative emotions is inevitable and being able to set aside one’s personal feelings to maintain a professional demeanor will allow one to best serve the client’s needs in the moment
Can you change this general statement into a personal statement? Changing it to a personal statement shows deeper reflection on the impact of the experience on your own life.
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We
Who? Try to keep the focus on yourself; this is your portfolio
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our
whose? Are you referring to yours and that of the student? Please be specific, or change to singular
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are visitation restrictions, and medical professionals are the extent of socialization the clients receive. Gifting a good laugh or smile is an accomplishment and can make a positive difference in the clients’ day.
Past tense.
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sk.
Tell the reader what the picture conveys.
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Confidence has become the main theme of my acute care rotation
past tense
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During my free time, I play soccer competitively, read books and poetry, and spend time with loved ones
Did you do this throughout your rotation? If so, can you state this in past tense, and state that you did these things while on rotation?
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ct with and treat them.
past tense
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have been
past tense = were
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My top three strengths and areas of improvement were, respectively, fairness, gratitude, honesty and bravery, humor, creativity.
Will you please separate these?
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owever, in occupational therapy, sometimes the feedback comes from the clients themselves. According to a Google search, feedback can be defined as “information about reactions to a product, a person's performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement.” Therefore, a client’s own reaction or performance serves as feedback and imposes moments of self-reflection. Whether done in the moment during a therapy session or after it is over, every interaction can be taken as an opportunity for growth and learning!
Can you provide an example of an instance in which you received feedback from a client? What happened next?
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It is common to perceive feedback as something that is communicated from a supervisor, which is a reality
Please clarify
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ment
Can you provide a specific example based on your experience? It's okay to provide some broad general statements, but show how it pertains to your own experience.
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From an occupational therapist standpoint, sessions always entailed giving live custom and individualized feedback.
Not sure I understand the meaning of this.
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needed more or less of at the time to them
please rephrase for clarity
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I was grateful to have supervisors that were also and receptive to feedba
Grammar
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his i
Better formatting, although the margins are very narrow
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pam-ponce-ot.weebly.com pam-ponce-ot.weebly.com
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ual sett
Provide an example
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rn, be
Wonderful!
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ties
examples?
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are b
past tense
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do
past tense
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n occupational therapy, it is virtually universal across settings to use occupation as a means to the end.
Please elaborate and provide a stronger connection to the previous paragraph and ideas.
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functional mobility
functional mobility or therapeutic exercises? Not sure I am making the connection
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lthough exercise is seen as a bottom-up approach to therapy, i
Will anyone reading this understand the concept?
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In the school system, my supervisor encouraged me to do research and what kind of interventions are evidence-based and which ones are not as well-supported (e.g., hand over hand, weighted vests)
Please rewrite this sentence for clarity. The examples are good. Please elaborate on what is written in the screenshot.
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therapists
were any COTAs on the call? A more inclusive term is occupational therapy practitioners.
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NOTA
acronym
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pam-ponce-ot.weebly.com pam-ponce-ot.weebly.com
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low I have provided a screenshot of a discussion board describing our justification for billing of services within the school system.
Good. However, imagine that someone cannot see the image. Briefly describe what the image is telling the reader (provide a synopsis), so that the reader doesn't have to try to decipher what's in the image.
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The principle of nonmaleficence is one that I thought would not be often consciously thought of until I arrived to my acute care setting. Seeing patients in critical conditions after the onset of an illness or injury sometimes means they are experiencing high levels of pain and discomfort. While early mobilization can reap positive benefits, it is more important to consider the client’s level of tolerance and willingness to participate. Otherwise, we are placing a negative impact on the client’s wellbein
This is a good example to illustrate your points above, but please rewrite in your own voice and use past tense.
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we
Apply to yourself, use I statements, otherwise this becomes a broad generalization.
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our clinical decisions to promote best and ethical practice for our cl
change to singular to demonstrate self reflection.
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we are
I am
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020)
Please place the reference below.
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“You
I "have...
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d client nee
Do you have an artifact, or an example to support your statements?
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have been
was
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nd of both of
grammar
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treatment to evaluate,
treatment to evaluate?
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NBCOT
abbrev
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FW t
abbreviation
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I try t
past tense
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During both Level II fieldwork rotations, I took the initiative in not only discussing every session with my supervisor(s), but also made a point to explicitly ask for constructive criticism in order to facilitate my professional growth
Please simplify or break down this sentence--it is too long.
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ve in
grammar
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or the client
This section is written using generalized statements. Please provide a specific example of an occurrence to illustrate the point.
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Sometimes, we are directly asked what the difference is,
past tense
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Fortunately,
This sounds very judgmental--as if PTs are never mindful of the role of OT. What if the hiring manager reading this portfolio was a PT--how do you think that person would feel reading this statement?
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PT.
Abbreviation.
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the common impression is that we will be going for a walk and generally moving with therapy during the session.
Please use past tense, otherwise this statements sounds like a statement of fact, an immutable truth.
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Part of our evaluations and treatments across settings is educating the client on the role of OT
Not really part of an evaluation. More of an educational intervention. Please rephrase
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Google Drive
into a sharable online folder.
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I had the opportunity to treat individuals who were homeless, struggled with substance abuse, and even inmates.
I am certain you didn't mean to, but when you write you "had an opportunity" to treat certain individuals, it can come across as opportunistic. You might be better off with a factual statement, e.g., In the acute care setting I treated patients who are commonly neglected or underrepresented, including those who were homeless, incarcerated, or were substance users.
Something along those lines. Try to keep it neutral.
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ey are and what they have experienced
write in past tense
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even
Beware! The word "even" comes across as very judgmental! It is a loaded word and you need to maintain professional neutrality.
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de
providing
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OT
Don't assume the reader knows these abbreviations....spell them out the first time used on the page followed by the abbreviation or acronym in parentheses.
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Healthcare professionals should implement non-discriminatory practice, including clients within neglected or underrepresented populations.
Please check grammar and re-write.
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cates for clients who have been neglected or underrepresented in the systemHealthcare professionals should im
See comments on formatting from previous page.
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pam-ponce-ot.weebly.com pam-ponce-ot.weebly.com
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AAROM versus AROM
Please spell this out
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ADLs and IADL
Please write this out the first time it appears on the page, followed by the acronym in parentheses.
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owever, in the acute care setting, one can say that the rehabilitative frame of reference is commonly used
Be careful of using generalized statements of opinion. Consider writing of your experience. To do so, write this sentence in past tense, because this is what you observed. Perhaps... During my acute care rotation, I observed the Rehabilitative Frame of Reference most commonly used....or something along those lines. Also, make sure you Capitalize the Names of the Frames of Reference.
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I have found they are less explicitly used in the actual practice setting
use past tense
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and as a reward to draw and color the car.
Nice, but please rewrite for clarity. You may want to detach this part from the sentence and write it separately for clarity.
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Although school-based occupational therapy was completely virtual due to the pandemic and could be considered a barrier to building a therapeutic relationship to overcome, we made the extra effort to get to know and bond with our students
Shorten or break up the sentence.
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and
lovely
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are
were
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n/
The frequency of slash marks in the paragraph have the effect of halting reading speed. Consider writing as you would talk--which is without slash marks, right? It is more readable when you write as if you are explaining the idea to someone, and it will assist the reader with comprehension.
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Oftentimes, this looked like recommendations of toys/tools and what they would address and/or provision of websites and resources.
Please simplify this sentence for clarity. You might consider breaking it into shorter sentences.
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re
were not
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them
whom? Caregivers?
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Co
It's fine to center the criterion here, but the use of the bullet is undesired because the distance of the font from the bullet becomes based on the amount of words in the sentence. It looks like there are large gaps between the bullet symbol and the word. Either justify left or remove the bullet and keep the sentence centered.
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textual communication is a valuable skill I have further developed in the acute care setting. The way we communicate with our clients i
Justify left
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munication with therapeutic use of self is an essential skill regardless of the occupational ther
Please describe a specific occurrence to illustrate.
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from a discussion board describing how we implemented a client’s culture into a re-evaluati
Please elaborate. I don't see the connection. The artifact pertains to a school setting, not acute care.
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