- Apr 2020
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futureot.weebly.com futureot.weebly.com
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t's
Remove apostrophe
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effective and safest
either change the word safest to safe or preferably reorder the words: ...continue practicing the safest and most effective guidelines in order...etc.
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futureot.weebly.com futureot.weebly.com
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k i'm
Capitalize
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morganpetersenot.weebly.com morganpetersenot.weebly.com
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demic
End quotation marks come before the period. Alternatively, you can get rid of the quotation marks and italicize the word.
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"
See previous comment about quotation marks in block quotes.
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on."
Nice work. For block quotations, you remove the quotation marks. See APA guidelines.
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but I trusted my supervisors that they understood the need for students to cease direct clinical care at the site far more than I understood
...but I trusted that my supervisors at the site understood the need for students to cease direct clinical care far better than I could.
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in
in skills or of skills?
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n m
Please correct the acronym FWE
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career.
Very nice!
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morganpetersenot.weebly.com morganpetersenot.weebly.com
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patients
patients or clients?
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m
Incorrect word use--please remove the word "for"
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"
See previous
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ep."
See previous comment on quotation marks.
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esses to f
Did you draw on your weaknesses? Or recognize them?
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VMI and the MVPT.
Spell these out please.
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with different
clients with different diagnoses--please use person-first language
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must be ready to adapt
True! How does this statement relate to this criterion?
Can you include a specific example of constructive feedback--not patient status?
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morganpetersenot.weebly.com morganpetersenot.weebly.com
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During this time I would identify important aspects of the article to determine the reliability and validity of the article to be able to relate it to my specific setting.
Please rework this sentence.
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, w
Please correct this
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morganpetersenot.weebly.com morganpetersenot.weebly.com
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g
comma
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es.
Try again--it is still unclear
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apart
it is not apart; it is part of
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jesskirkot.weebly.com jesskirkot.weebly.com
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rs
Very nice!
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10 year old
hyphenate--check APA
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-li
Sometimes you hypenate zip-line and sometimes you don't--please make this consistent in this section. Thanks!
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was
were--resources and equipment are plural
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fe
lives, since you are using plural
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o
please change to past tense since this has already occured.
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There were several instances that I took feedback from my fieldwork educators and was intentional in looking for opportunities to change my treatment techniques or behaviors based on what they told me.
Please revise the sentence for clarity.
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but have time to comfortably ask my fieldwork educator questions away from the families to guide my evaluations.
Revise word order: "...time to ask...questions to guide my evaluations away from the families".
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jesskirkot.weebly.com jesskirkot.weebly.com
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s
Acronym alert!
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ionals.
Very nice!
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field.
Very interesting!
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12 we
hyphenate
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2 week
hyphenate
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s.
Period comes at the end of the parentheses.
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r, S
There's an extra space between this and the previous reference. Can you remove it?
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jesskirkot.weebly.com jesskirkot.weebly.com
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or
I would recommend that in parentheses you give a brief explanation of what a GG code is. Alternatively, you can remove this reference altogether and simply state the client's ability.
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s. I believe this can make a big difference in cultivating hope for getting back to participating in meaningful and healthy occupation
This is a lovely reflection.
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past
remove this word. It is implied in the phrases "medical history and social history".
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jesskirkot.weebly.com jesskirkot.weebly.com
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ing. I wo
Very nice!
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selected for the session
planned.
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e got ho
This is much better and easier to read now.
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Almost every session that I had with him during his stay in inpatient rehabilitation, we continued to practice hemi-dressing techniques.
For clarity, please place the second part of the sentence up front. "We continued.....almost every session during his stay".
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because
Is "because" the correct word here?
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..
Remove one period.
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he stroke had also caused deficits in his short term memory and attention causing difficulties with learning new techniques for getting dressed independently.
You said one thing caused another, then that thing caused something else. It's a hard sentence to follow. Consider breaking down this long sentence into two separate short ones.
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at home.
You can remove these words.
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I learned to communicate with more simple and direct statements along with using very concrete words as I found this to be more effective with my clients that were non-verbal.
Please rephrase this for clarity.
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I got the pleasure of working
I want to caution you about using the phrase "I got the pleasure". When people come in for therapy, they are seeking help and may be in pain. Your statement could potentially be misconstrued and twisted to imply that you derived pleasure from someone else's pain. It will not detract from your APDE if you remove this clause.
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jesskirkot.weebly.com jesskirkot.weebly.comAbout Me1
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low
Very nice!
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hannahphillipsot.weebly.com hannahphillipsot.weebly.com
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value
Lovely. Can you provide an example from your level 2 FW experiences?
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/s
slash
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sts/to
remove slash
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Rep
not capitalized; spell it out please
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ups:
Nice
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To my delight, both groups demonstrated engagement and enthusiasm when it came to selecting affirmations which they related to and even making up their own.
Rewrite for clarity.
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This can be a “hard sell” to teens who may not have a positive self-concept or self-confidence because it may feel silly to say these things or they may not believe some of the statements to be true (yet).
Please break down this sentence into shorter ones for clarity.
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riting/reading/stating positive
remove slashes. Use commas instead.
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lf ta
hyphenate
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ens/te
and
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this
which?
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o le
hyphenate
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lead
led
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S
SPECTACULAR! This is great!
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ties/skills
choose one or both, remove slash
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Sort ser
citation
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Activity Card Sort
citation needed
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ort
assessment decks.
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etting.
Lovely example!
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nd even addressed thorough wiping.
addressed what? Please rephrase for clarity
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parameter
perimeter
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very good
being an attentive listener
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client to
which one?
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this client
him
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ryout aq
two words
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Au
remove capitalization
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greatly
how do you know this?
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fi
spelling
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, and
Period. Start a new sentence.
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Cerebral Palsy w
remove capitalization
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I had the unique opportunity
Find another phrase or remove it. You can say, On my second...I observed and practiced aquatic therapy...
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cate/col
choose one
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d/
slash
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at he does not
past tense
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port/advo
choose one or both
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a huge
please use professional language
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ven being in t
how do you know this?
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So t
The mother
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To make matters more complicated, the parents have a history of domestic violence
Rewrite for clarity and remove bias.
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Unfortunately, the parents do not see eye to eye on the services their son should receive
Remove bias. Use past tense.
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just
remove bias. State the facts without including your judgment. You can say, the student and his mother attended the interview. The father, who had 50% custody, was not present.
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served as a wonderfully involved advocate
this is very biased language. Please reword.
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services
where?
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,
period.
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dle scho
hyphenate
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activities dire
capitalize
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known as “the president”
by whom? Was this person indeed known as the President, or just by this client? Is this relevant? Be careful not to sound like you are making fun of the client.
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activities director
capitalize
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activities director of the skilled nursing facility as the president and
Use appropriate capitalization please
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ltzheimer
spelling
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p
capitalize
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activities direc
capitalize
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find a man (who we will call Mr. X)
This does not sound professional. I would suggest rewording as follows: I went to find Mr. Jones in the cafeteria (not his real name to respect his confidentiality) to let him know I was ready....etc. I walked up to him and said, "Hello Mr. Jones", etc...
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nt
Nice. Is there an example?
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reviewing
word choice?
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this is something
what is?
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nds
Lovely, well done!
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1
APA
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dwork:
Summarize for the reader.
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was looking to develop my skills in
wanted to develop.
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hat
Very nice reflection
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I had the opportunity
Perhaps try to find another phrase or eliminate it. You use it very often throughout the portfolio.
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ns/situa
choose one
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hold space for our clients
What does this phrase mean?
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hold space
this is jargon. Please describe using lay language.
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ur
my
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our
my
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W
Who?
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what she was talking about
who was talking? The student or the educator? Please be more specific
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SAT
acronym alert! Please write this out and place the acronym in parentheses if you are going to continue using it
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unfortunat
remove bias
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In these situations, it’s not always necessary to find/point out the silver lining or put a positive spin on it.
Please reword
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at-risk youth
Please use first-person language, and specify what type of risk
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,
remove
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ty bas
hyphenate
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ns/deadli
get rid of the slash. Choose one.
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is
was?
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A specific instance in which I gave constructive and timely feedback was in a conversation in which I felt that expectations of me as a student were unclear and therefore I was letting the other individual down when I had not even realized they had this specific expectation.
I am having difficulty following this sentence. Can you reword for clarity please?
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hannahphillipsot.weebly.com hannahphillipsot.weebly.com
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hera
Nice!
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The picture below is of a technique used as a cue to prevent foot drop practiced on my foot:
The picture below is of a technique practiced on my foot, of tape used as a cue to prevent food drop.
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T
t
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tape children
is there a better way to phrase this? Did you tape children? Or did you learn to apply tape to support various anatomical structures? Please be more selective in your word choices.
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See question 9 under Leader Change Agent for video presentation of my final project of my second Level II Fieldwork experience, question 11 under Leader Change Agent for presentation on attending the 2019 annual AOTA Conference as the Assembly of Student Delegates Representative, and question 2 under Ethically Grounded Professional with Strong OT Identity for information on evidence-based practice research project
Imagine that a hiring manager was reading this portfolio. Would you want to send that person to different locations in your portfolio? Would you want to go hunting after information on other pages if you were the reader? I recommend you briefly summarize these in this section.
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therap
Please describe it using words, for those who might have trouble viewing this image.
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isk yo
See previous comment
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dent
Since this discussion board post was graded for another course, I can't comment on it in the context of this portfolio. It is okay to use the image of the discussion board as an artifact, but you have to provide a summary and reflection of why this example shows that you met this criterion.
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UTHSC
Some of these are relevant to the criterion and others are courses that you were required for the program. I would recommend that you provide only those for which you went above and beyond, that were not requirements of your didactic curriculum.
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AOTA CE's Health Through Horticulture: Gardening as an Occupational Therapy Intervention & Local IS Global: Occupational Therapy in U.S. Refugee Communicates and Abroad
I can't tell if this is a sentence or a caption.
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ed/trai
slash
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hannahphillipsot.weebly.com hannahphillipsot.weebly.com
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d from
Can you provide an example based on your experiences in level 2 FW?
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My favorite part of the project was helping the young girl to pick out fabric and make her own curtains to go around her top bunk bed with the goal of decreasing symptoms of anxiety by providing a space of her own away from her younger siblings
Please break down this sentence into shorter parts for clarity.
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ontaking
? do you mean undertaking?
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wonderful
be careful using subjective language. I am certain it felt good to provide a clean and safe space; try to use objective language. Imagine if the person reading this was the client.
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5
APA
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(2015). American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 69(Suppl. 3
Please use correct APA formatting
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s’s,
Remove apostrophe and additional letter
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ne on one
hyphenate
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Bart
I believe this should be ALL CAPS since it is an acronym
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(SF
where have you described this acronym before?
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ow
hyphenate
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ity ba
hyphenate
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rapist.
Nice!
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ts/pr
see previous comment
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eal
Lovely!
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/s
see previous comments
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n/c
see previous comments
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erests/occupa
choose one of these words
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e
past tense
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n’s,
Why is there an apostrophe here?
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rap
what kind?
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Wrap aro
hyphen
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wrap around
Wrap-around should be hyphenated.
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ptomology
symptoms, or episode of
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8 year old
hyphenate
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.,
check APA formatting guidelines.
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t cardi
see prior comment
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g
assessment? There seems to be a missing word here
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st cardiac
hyphenate
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set out to delve
delved
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pre and post
hyphenate pre- and post-
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appropriate assess
The word "appropriate" seems out of context. Would one ever select an inappropriate assessment?
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partnered
Use a synonym, since you already used this verb in the preceding sentence. Alternatively, change the preceding sentence.
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partner with Le
Please revise for accuracy. Did you partner with the hospital, or with a practitioner?
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these youth.
Please use a different description so as not to sound condescending.
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orting/advoc
see previous comments
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who
that
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6 w
hyphenate
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due to losing her phone
this doesn't make sense in the context of the first part of the sentence, please rephrase
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y
hyphenate
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As
Since
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5
see previous comment, refer to APA
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w i
hyphenate, and be consistent throughout portfolio
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hannahphillipsot.weebly.com hannahphillipsot.weebly.com
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See question 9
Question 9?
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s
comma
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for
delete word
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In my project, I was discussing the use of a Pediatric Activity Card Sort (ACS) as an assessment (or an intervention) and the ways in which administering the ACS provides an opportunity for the clinician to ask follow up questions about the child’s level of independence and identifying strengths or barriers to their engagement.
Please break down this sentence to shorter parts.
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tor
Please provide an example from your FW2 experiences--what did you do to earn this praise from your FW educator?
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The following blog post is an example of an assignment in which I considered the client’s motivation while aiming to maximize her functional independence:
Please find an example from your level 2 FW experiences. This assignment was already graded and is not relevant to this APDE.
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on both ends
what do you mean by this?
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essions/grou
choose one. See prior comment
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alendar/desk/resources
see previous comment regarding slash use in sentences, which halts the reader and stops the flow of reading.
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instil
American spelling is instill.
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e
Can you provide an example to support this statement?
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To elaborate,
Is this an elaboration, or did you mean to write something like "therefore" or "thus"?
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remain
am constantly
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(verbal & non-verbal)
Rather than use parentheses, can you possibly rewrite this, e.g., "Effective verbal and non-verbal communication skills are essential...etc."
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n
plural
-
’s
one or many?
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