In my project, I was discussing the use of a Pediatric Activity Card Sort (ACS) as an assessment (or an intervention) and the ways in which administering the ACS provides an opportunity for the clinician to ask follow up questions about the child’s level of independence and identifying strengths or barriers to their engagement.
Please break down this sentence to shorter parts.
tor
Please provide an example from your FW2 experiences--what did you do to earn this praise from your FW educator?
The following blog post is an example of an assignment in which I considered the client’s motivation while aiming to maximize her functional independence:
Please find an example from your level 2 FW experiences. This assignment was already graded and is not relevant to this APDE.
on both ends
what do you mean by this?
essions/grou
choose one. See prior comment
alendar/desk/resources
see previous comment regarding slash use in sentences, which halts the reader and stops the flow of reading.
instil
American spelling is instill.
e
Can you provide an example to support this statement?
To elaborate,
Is this an elaboration, or did you mean to write something like "therefore" or "thus"?
remain
am constantly
(verbal & non-verbal)
Rather than use parentheses, can you possibly rewrite this, e.g., "Effective verbal and non-verbal communication skills are essential...etc."
n
plural
’s
one or many?
life
lives
o
comma
A
is this word meant to be capitalized?
k
comma
in
organization
w inco
low-income
girls
language
which they are proud of
of which they were proud
ell rec
hyphenate
self exploration and in turn self confidence
I don't see the connection. Please elaborate or rephrase.
providing
to provide
as well as an example of occupations they can incorporate throughout the rest of their week
Please rephrase for clarity
3
See APA guidelines for numbers in text.
girls
language
de
tense
girls
language
in
delete word
girls
"Girls" comes across as condescending
high and low
What is this?
check in in
Did you mean to write check-in?
for
delete word
girls
were they girls, teens, or mothers? Would it be appropriate to call a mother, "girl"? Is there a better word? students?
end d
past tense
lead
led? held? Please keep the sentence in the past, as this time has already passed.
wrapped up/wound up a
Please try to limit or completely avoid the use of a slash. It is very distracting and halts the flow of the sentence. Choose one or the other.
health and disease/disability prevention.
supporting one's health and disease? This doesn't make sense. Please revise.
of mine
implied--delete.
vs.
please write out the abbreviation
their
Is this word necessary?
For example collaborating with others, gaining understanding of a client’s occupational engagement, implementing effective interventions, inspiring confidence in others, advocating for clients, representing OT’s perspective in inter-professional situations, contributing to the knowledge base of OT through presenting and/or teaching, and giving constructive feedback.
This is not a complete sentence.
any of the other tenets addressed throughout the rest of these prompts fall under the umbrella of communication in that one will not be successful in these areas if they are unable to effectively communicate.
I don't understand this sentence. Is it necessary? If so, please revise for clarity.
.
I agree. Can you possibly write this in first person, rather than a generalized statement?
was somewhat familiar to me, however, it was not similar to my experience growing up
I really like how you contrast your own life experiences with the locations in which you found yourself in FW2; but perhaps try to vary the way you write about it--the sentences sound too similar. Was this your intention?
messages
non-verbal
increase my awareness around
pay more attention to my use of language
growing up in the city in low income housing and/or underserved communities was not my experience growing up
Revise for clarity
9 .
Sensational!
r
Parenthesize UTHSC here, because you use the acronym further down the page.
me.
Good job!
we can always take advantage of our resources and our researching skills to further educate ourselves on topics we are interested in learning more about
please revise for clarity
a practitioner, we
a practitioner= singular Change "we" to I and keep it singular
use to
remove these words
s
remove comma
nts
How exciting! I am jealous!
time
find a different word here or at the beginning of the sentence
always
always is synonymous with throughout
oster.
This was an outstanding poster presentation, I learned a lot too!
a lot about research and how to conduct my own research w
rephrase
s
apostrophe
t are able
missing word
, you c
I recommend you change this to a personal reflection and use first-person language
t ce
hyphen
d b
hyphenate
great
opinion
hemiparetic patien
first-person language
Functional Electrical Stimulation, M
none of these should be capitalized
post
after
t
hyphen
ce b
hyphenate
hyphen
VA
acronym alert
scenario gave a
was of a
and planning and researching
word order, grammar
te
delete word
ve
delete word
hos
Please post an image without red and blue markups of errors!
assignment
redundant word
inpatient re
Please see previous comment about using discussion board posts.
other opinions and points of views from other disciplines
rewrite this part for clarity
:
remove colon
CEU
acronym alert
self ego
Not sure what this means
or to prevent an unsafe behavior
not sure how this applies here. Please revise this entire sentence for clarity.
always come
remove repeated word, and use past tense
self promotion
not sure how this applies--perhaps explain more? Or rewrite
n the shower
bathe
my kind patients
they
n
Lovely. Go Amanda!
attend
can you find another word so as not to repeat the same verb in the sentence?
any service activities we were participating in and any upcoming events we were having
our service activities and upcoming events.
UTHSCs
acronym and apostrophe
the
remove word
TNOTA
acronym alert!
fo
to teach him; to build within him the capacity; etc.
enough
delete word
ak
made
s'
singluar or plural?
gets
got
knows
knew
:
remove colon
everything there is to know
Is this true? Do you know everything there is to know?
one
a
our
the
out
our
ent.
Nice example
comma
functional
delete the word. Is there a non-functional type of reach?
s
apostrophe
,
remove comma
nt
session
her
the dog
hat
the
CEU
acronym alert!
ions.
Great reflection. This is one of my favorite treatments in the inpatient rehab setting--for just about anyone. Most of the time the patients have been lying on their backs for weeks. There is so much therapeutic benefit to lying in prone. I am so pleased to hear this!
s
on my caseload
my
remove word--they didn't belong to you
to them
delete words
than
from what
ike
delete word
By getting them into different positions such as prone, or quadruped on the mat, it really helped facilitate weight bearing through all four extremities and increased core and scapular strength needed for bed mobility and ADLs
Please revise this long sentence for clarity and accuracy.
sis.
Nice reflection
that
delete word
what the situation may be
the situation.
ns
apostrophe
everyday
Nice
We always had an ongoing playful competition between our PT we were paired with and my educator and I involving who could be the patients "favorite therapist
I think I understand what you are trying to get at; can you please reword for clarity
you are
I was
spinal cord injury patients
first person language
TR/
Very nice!
F
f
c
pieces of
ts were in that we treated,
the patients that we treated were in
ar!
Fabulous!
have
delete word
ce
experienced similar things as I did.
erstand
understood where I was coming from
o grateful that I had these students to go through this experienc
grateful I went through this experience with these students
s
apostrophe
socializing with each other, and just enjoyed
socializing, enjoying (use same tense)
past
delete word
daily.
redundant
everyda
separate words
.
colon
ss
addresses
F
f
going into evaluations
Is there another way to say this? Would a hiring manager who was not a therapist understand this phrase?
evaluation
remove this word or find a different one, so as not to repeat the same word. Perhaps "cheat sheet"?
MMT, ROM, o
Abbreviation alert!
Fieldwork
Lovely! Perhaps order them with FW A first followed by FW B.
have
remove
can
could
want
wanted
e
comma
am
was
s,
remove comma
lways immediately receptive
Can you find another way to say this?
nal need
I agree!
in order to prevent my patients from losing trust in me and in order to preserve my overall confidence level
Turn this into a new sentence and reword.
provide
providing
affects
affected
the patient lose trust in me
Is this a fact, or is this your projection/fear? Did a patient ever say this to you? I completely understand your point of view, but this is conjecture. Perhaps there is a better way to describe this, rather than making an assumption about the patient's response?
often times
remove these words, they are redundant since you already said "sometimes" earlier in the sentence.
when I am away from the patient
Please find another way to say this--I think you mean that you didn't want to receive the feedback in front of the patient, right?
d g
my
do.
Very nice. What was your educator's reponse?
,
semi-colon
c
needed to
e
Please summarize the discussion board post--it is fine to refer to it, but I can't comment on it since it was already graded for another course.
,
remove comma
s
insert comma
,
remove comma
in
to
vely.
Nice reflection. Example?
different diagnoses and conditions
first person language
SCI
see previous comment about abbreviations/acronyms
everyday
separate words
d bel
Nice
F
f
and completed
completed what?
,
semi-colon
spinal cord injury patients
Can you provide a specific example rather than making a generalized statement? You can start the sentence by including the phrase, "For example, ..."
spoke on behalf of their unique scope of practice
Please find another way to state this
each discipline came together
the separate disciplines came together
will
would
ADL
acronym alert, see previous comments
is
was
nt's
Singular or plural? Keep consistent with previous use of the word.
s
apostrphe
ocial worker and case manager
singluar or plural? You mentioned the others as plural, so perhaps for consistency keep the same grammar
r
comma
virus
Another great reflection!
safest
safe or the safest
PPE
acronym
COVID-19
see previous comment
v
a
NOTA, AOTA, and SOTA
See previous comment.
have
was and continue to be