- Apr 2020
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hannahphillipsot.weebly.com hannahphillipsot.weebly.com
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life
lives
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o
comma
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A
is this word meant to be capitalized?
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k
comma
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in
organization
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w inco
low-income
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girls
language
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which they are proud of
of which they were proud
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ell rec
hyphenate
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self exploration and in turn self confidence
I don't see the connection. Please elaborate or rephrase.
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providing
to provide
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as well as an example of occupations they can incorporate throughout the rest of their week
Please rephrase for clarity
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3
See APA guidelines for numbers in text.
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girls
language
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de
tense
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girls
language
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in
delete word
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girls
"Girls" comes across as condescending
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high and low
What is this?
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check in in
Did you mean to write check-in?
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for
delete word
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girls
were they girls, teens, or mothers? Would it be appropriate to call a mother, "girl"? Is there a better word? students?
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end d
past tense
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lead
led? held? Please keep the sentence in the past, as this time has already passed.
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wrapped up/wound up a
Please try to limit or completely avoid the use of a slash. It is very distracting and halts the flow of the sentence. Choose one or the other.
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health and disease/disability prevention.
supporting one's health and disease? This doesn't make sense. Please revise.
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of mine
implied--delete.
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vs.
please write out the abbreviation
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their
Is this word necessary?
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For example collaborating with others, gaining understanding of a client’s occupational engagement, implementing effective interventions, inspiring confidence in others, advocating for clients, representing OT’s perspective in inter-professional situations, contributing to the knowledge base of OT through presenting and/or teaching, and giving constructive feedback.
This is not a complete sentence.
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any of the other tenets addressed throughout the rest of these prompts fall under the umbrella of communication in that one will not be successful in these areas if they are unable to effectively communicate.
I don't understand this sentence. Is it necessary? If so, please revise for clarity.
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.
I agree. Can you possibly write this in first person, rather than a generalized statement?
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was somewhat familiar to me, however, it was not similar to my experience growing up
I really like how you contrast your own life experiences with the locations in which you found yourself in FW2; but perhaps try to vary the way you write about it--the sentences sound too similar. Was this your intention?
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messages
non-verbal
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increase my awareness around
pay more attention to my use of language
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growing up in the city in low income housing and/or underserved communities was not my experience growing up
Revise for clarity
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hannahphillipsot.weebly.com hannahphillipsot.weebly.comAbout Me2
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9 .
Sensational!
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r
Parenthesize UTHSC here, because you use the acronym further down the page.
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futureot.weebly.com futureot.weebly.com
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me.
Good job!
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we can always take advantage of our resources and our researching skills to further educate ourselves on topics we are interested in learning more about
please revise for clarity
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a practitioner, we
a practitioner= singular Change "we" to I and keep it singular
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use to
remove these words
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s
remove comma
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nts
How exciting! I am jealous!
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time
find a different word here or at the beginning of the sentence
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always
always is synonymous with throughout
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oster.
This was an outstanding poster presentation, I learned a lot too!
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a lot about research and how to conduct my own research w
rephrase
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s
apostrophe
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t are able
missing word
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, you c
I recommend you change this to a personal reflection and use first-person language
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t ce
hyphen
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d b
hyphenate
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great
opinion
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hemiparetic patien
first-person language
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Functional Electrical Stimulation, M
none of these should be capitalized
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post
after
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t
hyphen
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ce b
hyphenate
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hyphen
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VA
acronym alert
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scenario gave a
was of a
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and planning and researching
word order, grammar
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te
delete word
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ve
delete word
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hos
Please post an image without red and blue markups of errors!
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assignment
redundant word
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inpatient re
Please see previous comment about using discussion board posts.
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other opinions and points of views from other disciplines
rewrite this part for clarity
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:
remove colon
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CEU
acronym alert
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futureot.weebly.com futureot.weebly.com
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self ego
Not sure what this means
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or to prevent an unsafe behavior
not sure how this applies here. Please revise this entire sentence for clarity.
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always come
remove repeated word, and use past tense
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self promotion
not sure how this applies--perhaps explain more? Or rewrite
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n the shower
bathe
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my kind patients
they
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n
Lovely. Go Amanda!
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attend
can you find another word so as not to repeat the same verb in the sentence?
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any service activities we were participating in and any upcoming events we were having
our service activities and upcoming events.
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UTHSCs
acronym and apostrophe
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the
remove word
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TNOTA
acronym alert!
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fo
to teach him; to build within him the capacity; etc.
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enough
delete word
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ak
made
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s'
singluar or plural?
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gets
got
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knows
knew
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:
remove colon
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everything there is to know
Is this true? Do you know everything there is to know?
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one
a
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our
the
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out
our
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ent.
Nice example
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comma
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functional
delete the word. Is there a non-functional type of reach?
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s
apostrophe
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,
remove comma
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nt
session
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her
the dog
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hat
the
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CEU
acronym alert!
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ions.
Great reflection. This is one of my favorite treatments in the inpatient rehab setting--for just about anyone. Most of the time the patients have been lying on their backs for weeks. There is so much therapeutic benefit to lying in prone. I am so pleased to hear this!
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s
on my caseload
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my
remove word--they didn't belong to you
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to them
delete words
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than
from what
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ike
delete word
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By getting them into different positions such as prone, or quadruped on the mat, it really helped facilitate weight bearing through all four extremities and increased core and scapular strength needed for bed mobility and ADLs
Please revise this long sentence for clarity and accuracy.
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sis.
Nice reflection
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that
delete word
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what the situation may be
the situation.
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ns
apostrophe
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everyday
Nice
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We always had an ongoing playful competition between our PT we were paired with and my educator and I involving who could be the patients "favorite therapist
I think I understand what you are trying to get at; can you please reword for clarity
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you are
I was
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spinal cord injury patients
first person language
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TR/
Very nice!
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F
f
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c
pieces of
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ts were in that we treated,
the patients that we treated were in
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ar!
Fabulous!
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have
delete word
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ce
experienced similar things as I did.
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erstand
understood where I was coming from
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o grateful that I had these students to go through this experienc
grateful I went through this experience with these students
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s
apostrophe
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socializing with each other, and just enjoyed
socializing, enjoying (use same tense)
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past
delete word
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daily.
redundant
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everyda
separate words
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.
colon
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ss
addresses
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F
f
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going into evaluations
Is there another way to say this? Would a hiring manager who was not a therapist understand this phrase?
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evaluation
remove this word or find a different one, so as not to repeat the same word. Perhaps "cheat sheet"?
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MMT, ROM, o
Abbreviation alert!
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Fieldwork
Lovely! Perhaps order them with FW A first followed by FW B.
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have
remove
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can
could
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want
wanted
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e
comma
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am
was
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s,
remove comma
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lways immediately receptive
Can you find another way to say this?
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nal need
I agree!
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in order to prevent my patients from losing trust in me and in order to preserve my overall confidence level
Turn this into a new sentence and reword.
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provide
providing
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affects
affected
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the patient lose trust in me
Is this a fact, or is this your projection/fear? Did a patient ever say this to you? I completely understand your point of view, but this is conjecture. Perhaps there is a better way to describe this, rather than making an assumption about the patient's response?
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often times
remove these words, they are redundant since you already said "sometimes" earlier in the sentence.
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when I am away from the patient
Please find another way to say this--I think you mean that you didn't want to receive the feedback in front of the patient, right?
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d g
my
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futureot.weebly.com futureot.weebly.com
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do.
Very nice. What was your educator's reponse?
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,
semi-colon
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c
needed to
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e
Please summarize the discussion board post--it is fine to refer to it, but I can't comment on it since it was already graded for another course.
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,
remove comma
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s
insert comma
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,
remove comma
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in
to
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vely.
Nice reflection. Example?
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different diagnoses and conditions
first person language
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SCI
see previous comment about abbreviations/acronyms
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everyday
separate words
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d bel
Nice
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F
f
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and completed
completed what?
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,
semi-colon
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spinal cord injury patients
Can you provide a specific example rather than making a generalized statement? You can start the sentence by including the phrase, "For example, ..."
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spoke on behalf of their unique scope of practice
Please find another way to state this
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each discipline came together
the separate disciplines came together
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will
would
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ADL
acronym alert, see previous comments
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is
was
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nt's
Singular or plural? Keep consistent with previous use of the word.
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s
apostrphe
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ocial worker and case manager
singluar or plural? You mentioned the others as plural, so perhaps for consistency keep the same grammar
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r
comma
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virus
Another great reflection!
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safest
safe or the safest
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PPE
acronym
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COVID-19
see previous comment
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v
a
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NOTA, AOTA, and SOTA
See previous comment.
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have
was and continue to be
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By educating patients on this act and community resources, it allows the patients to know their rights and reach out to organizations that may help them when reintegrating out into the community
Please revise this sentence for clarity. Otherwise great reflection here!
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ADA
Acronym/abbreviation alert! Please spell this out the first time you use it, and only parenthesize the acronym if you will use it again in this page. Otherwise, just leave it written out so that the reader doesn't have to try figure out what this means.
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futureot.weebly.com futureot.weebly.com
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sions.
Lovely reflection!
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has
remove word
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NDT
See previous comment
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on clients
Do you do this on clients? Is that the best way to describe it? Please rephrase for clarity and accuracy.
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PROM
acronym alert! Spell out the acronym first and parenthesize it after, only if you are going to use it again in this page. If not, just spell it out and don't worry about putting the acronym/abbreviation in parentheses. Consider that the person reading this may have no background in rehabilitation.
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.
punctuation--should be a comma
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ending
recommended
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de
aid
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have
Since this time has passed, please use past tense.
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s topi
Please summarize why you used this discussion board post as your artifact. You need to include a reflection, not just the evidence. Providing a screenshot of the discussion board is akin to presenting raw data in a study. You need to give an analysis of why you chose this particular piece of evidence.
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main jobs as occupational therapists is to find what motivates that perso
Please consider rewriting this for clarity.
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