4,692 Matching Annotations
  1. Mar 2021
    1. Although school-based occupational therapy was completely virtual due to the pandemic and could be considered a barrier to building a therapeutic relationship to overcome, we made the extra effort to get to know and bond with our students

      Shorten or break up the sentence.

    2. n/

      The frequency of slash marks in the paragraph have the effect of halting reading speed. Consider writing as you would talk--which is without slash marks, right? It is more readable when you write as if you are explaining the idea to someone, and it will assist the reader with comprehension.

    3. Oftentimes, this looked like recommendations of toys/tools and what they would address and/or provision of websites and resources.

      Please simplify this sentence for clarity. You might consider breaking it into shorter sentences.

    4. Co

      It's fine to center the criterion here, but the use of the bullet is undesired because the distance of the font from the bullet becomes based on the amount of words in the sentence. It looks like there are large gaps between the bullet symbol and the word. Either justify left or remove the bullet and keep the sentence centered.

    5. from a discussion board describing how we implemented a client’s culture into a re-evaluati

      Please elaborate. I don't see the connection. The artifact pertains to a school setting, not acute care.

    1. he article I presented provided "evidence for activity- and occupation-based interventions to promote mental health, positive behavior, and social participation of children and youth with and at risk for mental health concerns and support previous studies highlighting the connection between engagement in occupation and positive mental health outcomes for children and youth

      Please break down this very long sentence. I understand it is a quote but it is too long to be understood.

    2. s I learned how to handle emotional distress and learned appropriate amount of engagement, the children learned what behaviors were and were no

      Please rework this sentence and try to avoid repeating the same word (learned)

    1. Patients who could come to the clinic and participate in elongation of soft and scar tissue tightness and start more aggressive active movement on POD 2 or 3 presented with better, more functional outcomes as compared to the patients who had to stay in bed multiple days secondary to medical status

      Please break up this very long sentence.

    1. Fieldwork is only as rewarding as you make it and how much time and energy you are willing to put into learning new information to implement into practice.

      Please revise sentence for grammar accuracy

    1. For children that presented with delayed development, I employed a rehabilitative approach while implementing interventions. For children with a diagnosis where it was unlikely that a skill would develop, I assessed supports and barriers to occupational performance and recommended modification and/or adaptations as appropriate.

      Please revise for accuracy based on my previous comments.

    2. When a patient was more motivated to participate in therapy sessions, the better the outcome and carryover and less time in the hospital. 

      The grammar in this sentence is unsound--can you please revise?

    3. he/she was interested

      I am finding this confusing...do you mean to say, Each patient had different interests and goals, and they were more motivated to participate in sessions when the topic interested them? Can you rephrase for clarity, without repetition of the same words?

    4. For the most part, it was easier for me to communicate with the adult population at ROH Burn Center since they have a higher cognitive ability and can understand directions better than children who have not learned many skills yet.

      Use past tense

    5. arise, both of my fieldwork educators at SRVS Kids try to create a detailed and elaborate home exercise program so that the parents/caregivers and children can still have access to appropriate interventions and activities to address areas of concern.

      Please use past tense.

  2. Apr 2020
    1. provide a sense of well being or even be paid/unpaid work.

      rephrase to make sense. possibly...

      ,provide a sense of well-being, and potentially give paid or unpaid employment to the client.

      Something along those lines. Read it out loud and see if your sentence makes sense. It is long and hard to follow. Perhaps break it down, or use less synonyms?

    1. ccupational Therapy Code of

      This needs to be correctly formatted according the APA. The author is American Occupational Therapy Association. The title of the work is the Occupational Therapy Code of Ethics .

    1. opportunity for the clinician to ask follow up questions about the child’s level of independence and identifying strengths or barriers to their engagement.

      Break this down. It does not make sense as written.

    2. For example, when utilizing sensory processing disorder language and techniques I was able to communicate with a child about what their body needed, discuss activities for sensory regulation at home (i.e. doing bear crawls down the hallway during bedtime routine) with the parent, and discuss whether the child was sensory seeking or defensive with coworkers. 

      Can you give an example of effective communication? You described here the background, but not the actual description of the communication you yourself used to make it effective.

    1.   One client here at the Regional One burn center is a 13-year-old girl. She was burned on over 80% of her body, including both              hands. She told me and my FWE that she used to enjoy drawing before her injury. She wanted to color one day so we put a                  thick marker in her hands and helped her hold it as she tried to color. It was not very successful and she quickly gave up (I think           

      Still a ragged margin--there must be a way to create an indented paragraph

    2. voice." I spoke to him one day about how I could see it was frustrating that he had difficulty communicating.  Just me                               acknowledging his feelings caused him to cry. I asked my FWE if I could make a communication board for him. I also ended​         up sewing a universal cuff so that he can use a pen as a pointer. I covered the board in packing tape so that it is durable and can           be cleaned. I included phrases such as "I want..." and "I feel..." as well as words he may want to fill in. I included an outline of a               human body for him to indicate where he feels discomfort/pressure/etc., a keyboard so he can spell out words/thoughts as                   wel

      This is correct however the left margin is now ragged rather than straight--can you figure out the formatting issue? You may want to ask one of your classmates. Morgan did a great job with this--perhaps you can reach out to her.

    3. at the burn center at Regional One, specifically in the ICU and step-down units. One client has a very deep burn and has had some complicati

      Courtney, check APA formatting guidelines for quotes greater than 40 words. Lose the quotation marks and indent the entire paragraph.

    1. evidence related to our clients' medical and therapy needs. I have gotten an opportunity to practice my evidence-based                        pr

      The first two rows are out of line with the remainder--same issue as previous block quotes.

    1. and non-compliant

      In this context, I would argue that the client was non-conforming to treatment, rather than non-compliant. Your goal was to provide therapy, but that was not his goal at that moment. Since we as a profession claim client-centeredness, is it right to say he was non-compliant? Just a thought for the sake of argument. I am not sure if you need these words here. If I was a family member of the client, I might take issue with this! What do you think?