4,279 Matching Annotations
  1. Mar 2021
    1. Because of the holistic natur

      Please justify left. It's really difficult to read prose in centered format--it comes across as poetry.

    1. could see

      see, or better understand?

    2. he/she

      they

    3. his/her

      their

    4. or not qualified b

      check grammar

    5. he article I presented provided "evidence for activity- and occupation-based interventions to promote mental health, positive behavior, and social participation of children and youth with and at risk for mental health concerns and support previous studies highlighting the connection between engagement in occupation and positive mental health outcomes for children and youth

      Please break down this very long sentence. I understand it is a quote but it is too long to be understood.

    6. nd how different professions aid in th

      Please clarify this part of the sentence. I feel like a word is missing.

    7. LEND

      If this is an acronym, please spell it out

    8. ADL

      see comments on previous pages

    9. touching the texture

      tolerate the texture of the food or touching the food

    10. not eat

      refuse to eat

    11. o not engage in tantrum like behaviors

      clarify, otherwise it sounds as though you were the one having the tantrum!

    12. comes

      Katie, can you think of an example in which you took a risk, rather than experimenting on a patient--i.e., the patient taking the risk?

    13. it

      a dressing

    14. it

      they

    15. always

      necessarily

    16. a

      remove word a

    17. his

      the patient's

    18. a

      remove a

    19. he/she was

      they were

    20. a patient was

      patients were

    21. secondary

      due

    22. of

      or

    23. to treat

      remove words

    24. I knew some activities to address areas of weakness

      What do you mean?

    25. s I learned how to handle emotional distress and learned appropriate amount of engagement, the children learned what behaviors were and were no

      Please rework this sentence and try to avoid repeating the same word (learned)

    26. b

      of

    27. maximal

      remove the word

    28. treating whole sessions

      treating a patient for the entire duration of their session.

    29. expertise

      remove word

    30. she has achieved

      remove, this is redundant

    1. patient's

      singular or plural?

    2. to participating in therapy

      return to therapy

    3. secondary

      due

    4. realized that there is always new research being conducted, some may be beneficial and some may not be.

      Please reword/rework this sentence.

    5. d m

      the

    6. modify or adapt as necessary

      modify or adapt what?

    7. negative

      I don't understand the distinction here between negative and uncomfortable. Do you mean dangerous? unsafe? what do you mean by the word negative?

    8. all

      many

    9. type

      types

    10. It was crucial for patients to experience temporary discomfort

      Is it crucial for someone to experience pain? Is there a better way to say this...perhaps, it is likely?

    11. presented a presentation

      find a different word

    12. Patients who could come to the clinic and participate in elongation of soft and scar tissue tightness and start more aggressive active movement on POD 2 or 3 presented with better, more functional outcomes as compared to the patients who had to stay in bed multiple days secondary to medical status

      Please break up this very long sentence.

    13. then

      Break up this long sentence for clarity

    14. POD 2 or POD

      write out abbreviation

    15. r p

      the

    16. secondary to

      because of

    17. described any significance that it may have. 

      Don't understand this part of the sentence--what is it referring to?

    18. in relation

      related to

      or

      on the topic of

    1. killed services could be beneficial to the child without being unethical if the plan of care reflected the new areas of conce

      Very nice!

    2. had met his goals and preparing for discharge

      Please correct grammar

    3. ction

      Nice reflection.

    4. y really is.

      Lovely reflection

    5. specific sensory needs to be met

      required that specific sensory needs be met before

    6. exhibited a rehabilitative and biomechanical approache

      Grammar. Please rewrite.

    7. Fieldwork is only as rewarding as you make it and how much time and energy you are willing to put into learning new information to implement into practice.

      Please revise sentence for grammar accuracy

    8. while

      remove the word

    9. ly

      comma,

    10. .

      which together promoted better self-regulation

    11. self-regulate while increasing

      increase

    12. secondary

      due

    13. ccupational therapists

      occupational therapy.

    14. able fu

      to fulfill

    15. occupational therapist

      occupational therapy practitioners (don't forget COTAs!)

    16. Myself

      I

    17. his/her

      their

    18. er-pee

      peer to peer

    19. ADL

      See my previous comment regarding use of acronyms at the beginning of a page

    1. For children that presented with delayed development, I employed a rehabilitative approach while implementing interventions. For children with a diagnosis where it was unlikely that a skill would develop, I assessed supports and barriers to occupational performance and recommended modification and/or adaptations as appropriate.

      Please revise for accuracy based on my previous comments.

    2. ely to develop

      This is more descriptive of a rehabilitation approach. It would be nice if you could name each approach in each of these sentences.

    3. rehabilitative

      Are you sure you meant to write this? Sounds like you are describing a Biomechanical approach

    4. When a patient was more motivated to participate in therapy sessions, the better the outcome and carryover and less time in the hospital. 

      The grammar in this sentence is unsound--can you please revise?

    5. he/she was interested

      I am finding this confusing...do you mean to say, Each patient had different interests and goals, and they were more motivated to participate in sessions when the topic interested them? Can you rephrase for clarity, without repetition of the same words?

    6. he/she was

      they were

    7. really instill

      Can you find a better word?

    8. he/she

      they

    9. his/her

      their

    10. erapy and how well the parent was doing.

      This is so important!

    11. ack off" and offer empathy. 

      Good insight! Most people don't like to be given advice.

    12. However,

      Remove the word.

    13. My fieldwork educator was great continuin

      Remove your opinion. Simplify by stating, My fieldwork educator continued to encourage incorporating...

    14. food options

      healthier foods.

    15. nvolved a goal about

      had a goal of

    16. are nonv

      were

    17. For the most part, it was easier for me to communicate with the adult population at ROH Burn Center since they have a higher cognitive ability and can understand directions better than children who have not learned many skills yet.

      Use past tense

    18. ADL

      Please write out the first time the acronym is used on the page, followed by parentheses

    19. arise, both of my fieldwork educators at SRVS Kids try to create a detailed and elaborate home exercise program so that the parents/caregivers and children can still have access to appropriate interventions and activities to address areas of concern.

      Please use past tense.

    20. do

      did

    21. do

      Use past tense

    22. is

      Please use past tense.

    23. skills for self-care tasks like feeding. 

      so that he could develop fine-motor skills for self-feeding

    24. can

      Could

    25. self-feed himself

      Redundant--use either self-feed or feed himself

    26. its d

      Use past tense

  2. Apr 2020
    1. A concept

      Yes, this is correct!

    2. : a

      See previous comments

    3. : a

      See earlier comment about capitalization after colon

    4. ogy for diagno

      Capitalize first word after colon: Check APA!

    5. ion of

      Yes, brilliant. I agree--I heard a similar talk at WFOT in 2018 which was very eye opening!

    6. provide a sense of well being or even be paid/unpaid work.

      rephrase to make sense. possibly...

      ,provide a sense of well-being, and potentially give paid or unpaid employment to the client.

      Something along those lines. Read it out loud and see if your sentence makes sense. It is long and hard to follow. Perhaps break it down, or use less synonyms?

    7. which our clients engage in

      in which our clients engage

    8. clients I was working with

      with whom I was working

    9. The Dark Side of Occupation: A concept for consideration

      Check guidelines for title capitalization

    10. Australian Occupational Therapy Journal

      Italicize

    11. at-

      Can you rephrase this using first-person language?

    12. Oral Motor

      hyphenate. Also, please remove unnecessary capitalization throughout the headings in this section.

    13. that parents incorporate into their

      their routines (parents') or the routines of their children?

    14. at hom

      hyphenate

    15. Sensory Diet which I pulled appropriate activities from for clients

      Reword.

    16. Concept Evolution in Sensory Integration: A Proposed Nosology for Diagnosis

      Look at APA guildelines for title capitalization

    17. rican Journal of Occupational Thera

      Italicize.

    18. Concept Evolution in Sensory Integration: A proposed Nosology for Diagnosis

      Check title capitalization rules in APA

    19. L.J., Anzalone, M.E

      Add spaces after period between initials

    20. ngs I comp

      Please correct previous comment. Also, this section requires a reflection, not just the evidence!

    1. s (2015)

      Remove year here. You wrote it after the author.

    2. ccupational Therapy Code of

      This needs to be correctly formatted according the APA. The author is American Occupational Therapy Association. The title of the work is the Occupational Therapy Code of Ethics .

    3. T (S

      Write out San Francisco since you did not describe this abbreviation previously

    1. I led a gir

      Please see my comment from April 12th about use of the word "girl". I think you may have missed this one

    2. tiviti

      Nice

    3. opportunity for the clinician to ask follow up questions about the child’s level of independence and identifying strengths or barriers to their engagement.

      Break this down. It does not make sense as written.

    4. ation. 

      Nice example!

    5. pedestrians must walk against oncoming traffic and overtaking.

      Separate these, possibly by comma. Otherwise this clause does not make sense.

    6. the gi

      Perhaps "young women"? I personally find the word "girl" offensive, especially if some are already mothers.

    7. For example, when utilizing sensory processing disorder language and techniques I was able to communicate with a child about what their body needed, discuss activities for sensory regulation at home (i.e. doing bear crawls down the hallway during bedtime routine) with the parent, and discuss whether the child was sensory seeking or defensive with coworkers. 

      Can you give an example of effective communication? You described here the background, but not the actual description of the communication you yourself used to make it effective.

    8. ild

      write the abbreviation

    9. nd/o

      Choose one

    10. and/o

      Choose one

    1. Acs: activity card sort

      Needs capitalization since this is a formal name of a test; a proper noun

    2. m.”

      It would be safer for you to state that the name has changed to preserve the client's confidentiality

    3. o treatment.

      Very nice!

    4. an almost entry level

      perhaps you can rephrase as

      future occupational therapist

    1. famili

      past tense, was familiar

    2. is

      past tense

    3. tional a

      Please see comment from previous submission.

    4. ractice.

      Needs relevant reflection

    5. ce models.

      Needs relevant reflection

    6. he/sh

      They

    7. ss and/

      See previous comment about use of slash. Select one or the other, not both. The slash slows the flow of the sentence and gives the appearance of lack of decisiveness.

    1. o

      Perfect!

    2. nts!

      Perfect!

    3.   One client here at the Regional One burn center is a 13-year-old girl. She was burned on over 80% of her body, including both              hands. She told me and my FWE that she used to enjoy drawing before her injury. She wanted to color one day so we put a                  thick marker in her hands and helped her hold it as she tried to color. It was not very successful and she quickly gave up (I think           

      Still a ragged margin--there must be a way to create an indented paragraph

    4. voice." I spoke to him one day about how I could see it was frustrating that he had difficulty communicating.  Just me                               acknowledging his feelings caused him to cry. I asked my FWE if I could make a communication board for him. I also ended​         up sewing a universal cuff so that he can use a pen as a pointer. I covered the board in packing tape so that it is durable and can           be cleaned. I included phrases such as "I want..." and "I feel..." as well as words he may want to fill in. I included an outline of a               human body for him to indicate where he feels discomfort/pressure/etc., a keyboard so he can spell out words/thoughts as                   wel

      This is correct however the left margin is now ragged rather than straight--can you figure out the formatting issue? You may want to ask one of your classmates. Morgan did a great job with this--perhaps you can reach out to her.

    5. ent here at the Regio

      See previous comment on block quotes.

    6. at the burn center at Regional One, specifically in the ICU and step-down units. One client has a very deep burn and has had some complicati

      Courtney, check APA formatting guidelines for quotes greater than 40 words. Lose the quotation marks and indent the entire paragraph.

    7. ask

      Perfect!

    8. nne

      Very good!

    9. eam

      Lovely!

    10. So, one day I had a few extra minutes so

      Remove one of the instances of the word "so"

    11. She had been going through some tough times in her personal life that was affecting her mood

      Subject verb inconsistency: times = were affecting

    12. ally to his ne

      Very nice!

    13. tative/le

      Please try to avoid using a slash--it breaks up the flow and continuity of the sentence. Choose one of the words.

    1. we

      you missed this

    2. .-

      Is the hypen meant to be there? Does not look correct. Let me know!

    3. B., A

      and

    4. H. Westerberg, H. Jacobaeus, T. Hirvikoski, P. Clevberger, M.-L. Östensson, A. Bartfai & T. Klingberg

      Incorrect formatting--last name first followed by first name initial

    5. Alon, G., Levitt, A. F., & McCarthy, P. A. (2007). Functional Electrical Stimulation Enhancement of Upper Extremity Functional Recovery During Stroke Rehabilitation: A Pilot Study. Neurorehabilitation and Neural Repair, 21(3), 207–215. doi:10. 1177/1545968306297871Brouwer, B., Ambury, P. (1994). Upper Extremity Weight- Bearing Effect on Corticospinal Excitability Following Stroke. Archives of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation. 75(8), 861-866. doi: 10.1016/0003999394901104Crosbie, J. H., McDonough, S. M., Gilmore, D. H., & Wiggam, M. I. (2004). The Adjunctive Role of Mental Practice in the Rehabilitation of the Upper Limb after Hemiplegic Stroke: A Pilot Study. Clinical Rehabilitation, 18(1), 60–68. doi: 10.1191/0269215504cr702oaDohle, C., Püllen, J., Nakaten, A., Küst, J., Rietz, C., & Karbe, H. (2009). Mirror Therapy Promotes Recovery from Severe Hemiparesis: A Randomized Controlled Trial. Neurorehabilitation and Neural Repair, 23(3), 209–217. doi: 10.1177/1545968308324786​H. Westerberg, H. Jacobaeus, T. Hirvikoski, P. Clevberger, M.-L. Östensson, A. Bartfai & T. Klingberg. (2007). Computerized Working Memory Training After Stroke: A Pilot Study, Brain Injury, 21(1), 2129. doi: 10.1080/02699050601148726

      Amanda, please follow APA guidelines. The title of the article should not have each word capitalized. The alignment should be a hanging indent--not centered.

    6. I took made sure

      One of these words does not belong

    7. on

      Amanda, this image isn't any better! Why don't you simply list them rather than use an image. Please use the correct format following APA guidelines--these are inconsistent and in an unknown format.

    8. 53 year old

      hyphenate

    9. 2 d

      hyphenate

    1. intrinsic muscle strengthening activities

      Which intrinsic muscles?

    2. oals.

      Nice.

    3. field

      Nice!

    4. evidence related to our clients' medical and therapy needs. I have gotten an opportunity to practice my evidence-based                        pr

      The first two rows are out of line with the remainder--same issue as previous block quotes.

    5. 2

      APA= two

    6. t m

      is there a word missing?

    7. abilities

      Please give a specific example to support this statement.

    8. sources

      Please provide an example to support this general statement

    9. he burn unit a

      Block quote--see previous comments

    1. ent. 

      Nice

    2. 96 years old

      hyphenate

    3. 96 years old

      hyphenate

    4. aily needs. 

      Lovely

    5. and non-compliant

      In this context, I would argue that the client was non-conforming to treatment, rather than non-compliant. Your goal was to provide therapy, but that was not his goal at that moment. Since we as a profession claim client-centeredness, is it right to say he was non-compliant? Just a thought for the sake of argument. I am not sure if you need these words here. If I was a family member of the client, I might take issue with this! What do you think?

    1. stays

      past tense--stayed

    2. Sometimes I have been completely immersed in the shower in order to prevent a patient from falling.

      This sentence needs to be reworked for clarity. It doesn't convey the situation. Here is a suggestion, although you might think of a better one:

      Sometimes I have had to step into the shower while the patient was bathing, to prevent a fall.

    3. ce

      insert a comma after the word balance

    4. y. 

      separate words: every day

    5. ey c

      Could

    6. s'

      remove apostrophe