8,270 Matching Annotations
  1. Nov 2019
    1. The Value of A College education

      useful title but be consistent when capitalizing, okay: First and last words in a title always receive capitals. Then major words are capitalized. But articles and prepositions do not.

    2. Works Cited:

      The formatting seems off here so it's hard to tell what kinds of sources you have but I'm guessing that you don't have all three peer reviewed sources (include name of database and doi number). I also don't see a personal interview listed.

    1. n example of how this is happening already is that image recognition tools are outperforming physicians in the detection of skin cancer. And AI already used in the legal field to sift through millions of documents instead of requiring large teams of lawyers and paralegals to examine them.

      cite source

    2. Some peer-reviewed sources also provide us some insight into the future of Artificial Intelligence

      I'd like to see a more seamless transition here

    3. estimates that one industrial robot could replace 3.3 workers. With more than 5.5 million industrial robots expected by 2020, manufacturing as a whole could lose up to 20 million jobs by 2030.

      useful statistics: please cite author or title of article, if author not known

    4. According to a post by the Wall Street Journal, the University of Oxford conducted research that estimated in 2017 that nearly half of all jobs in the United States were at risk of being replaced by AI-powered automation.

      cite author?

    5. In May of 2018, Google demonstrated it’s new AI called Google Duplex. Google Duplex is an Artificial Intelligence that, at the moment,

      cite source

    6. What is the present and future of AI? In other words, how far along is AI now, in what industries is it implemented in? And if and when will AI meet or surpass human intelligence, or has it already?

      these are helpful and important questions

    7. Markoff, John. “Computer Wins on ‘Jeopardy!’: Trivial, It’s Not.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 16 Feb. 2011, https://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/17/science/17jeopardy-watson.html.

      date of access? Please alphabetize list per MLA

    8. A Brief History of Artificial Intelligence: On the Past, Present, and Future of Artificial Intelligence .” Bristol Libraries Remote Access, http://www.bristolcc.edu:2054/ehost/detail/detail?vid=2&sid=38c0b0fe-238c-4384-aaba-3cd8e5792736@sessionmgr4007&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ==#db=buh&AN=138097011&anchor=AN0138097011-7.

      peer reviewed source? If so, you will need two more and a personal interview Please begin entry with author's last name and first name. I'm not sure I see the name of a database. And instead of the URL you might include the DOI and date of access

    1. With teachers having easy access to firearms this will also save the school money

      again, you are arguing a thesis instead of inquiring and exploring possible answers

    2. “Wrote Ari Armstrong, a senior fellow at the Independence Institute, a Colorado-based think tank, having armed personnel on school grounds could deter shooters.

      I'm confused by the punctuation here (quotation marks that open but don't end I'd like you to work on introducing quotations: "According to one study. . . . "Wrote" needs a subject

    3. can be done to make the school environment a safer place during a tragic moment like this?

      Remember your purpose in this paper: to inquire and explore but not to advocate one position or another, right? I'm a little concerned by the argumentative move at the start of this paper.

    4. Which brings along the real question of what can be done to make the school environment a safer place during a tragic moment like this?

      note the fragment

    5. Out of these twenty-three school shootings the result was thirty-four students and teachers killed and twenty-nine were injured

      cite sources

    6. The Perspective of Public Health Students.”http://www.bristolcc.edu:2068/ehost/detail/detail?vid=3&sid=c84d565a-a80c-4538-bdf0-9479d3bc02c8%40pdc-v-sessmgr01&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#AN=130080420&db=aph 11 October 2019.

      no need for URL when using database--just the name of the database and perhaps the DOI I see only one peer reviewed source I see no personal interview

    7. Bump, Philip. “The economics of arming America’s schools” 2018. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2018/02/22/the-economics-of-arming-americas-schools/ 11 October 2019.

      note inconsistent font size

    1. A Neuroscientist Uncovers A Dark Family Secret).

      cite author I would recommend not to cite sources at the end of paragraphs only but rather at each point of borrowing

    2. Barbara Bradley Hagerty. “Neuroscientist Uncovers A Dark Family Secret.” Morning Edition (NPR), June 2010. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=nfh&AN=6XN201006291113&site=ehost-live.

      label Works Cited List looks pretty close to MLA and is helpful Remember to include dates of access.

    1. This includes an assessment where the look at the household income, net worth, and all other income

      cite source I'm stopping to read here because I can't be sure what is yours and what is your source's. Please cite sources at the point of borrowing. I am concerned.

    2. Some possible answers are to look at how the state of Massachusetts helps the mental and physical wellness of veterans, help with homelessness, and help for education.

      maybe you should start by setting up this topic for your reader?

    3. Advisor, Mass Vets. “The Mass VetsAdvisor: Benefiting Veterans and Their Families.” The Mass VetsAdvisor: Benefiting Veterans and Their Families, https://massvetsadvisor.org/.

      not quite in MLA format

    4. About Us.” New England Center and Home for Veterans, www.nechv.org/about-us/mission/ DVS Certification Training Manuel. 2015

      not in MLA format I don't see three peer reviewed sources.

    1. Diseases such as Diabetes, Sickle Cell Anemia, and Cancer were considered incurable in the 1900’s, but recent developments and studies into genetic engineering have shown potential cures for such problem

      cite source

    2. Throughout the years, Researchers team up with veterinarians and now carefully discuss their decisions before enacting anything on an unwitting subject to ensure the safety of the creature before proceeding.

      cite source

    3. Another example of a helpful genetic alteration was the successful growth of a human ear on the back of a rat. The first rumors of this were proven false, but many years later, a successful living ear was grown in Japan on the back of a rat.

      cite source

    4. Peer reviews https://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/asp/jnn/2005/00000005/00000012/art00004 – RNA nanotechnology by Peixuan Guo https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3078015/ – Genetic Engineering of Animals by Elisabeth H. Ormandy, Julie Dale, and Gilly Griffin https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0060473 – Vascularised bone regeneration by Xiaoning He https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/07/29/744826505/sickle-cell-patient-reveals-why-she-is-volunteering-for-landmark-gene-editing-st – interview with experimental gene-therapy patient, Victoria Gray, for sickle cell anemia on NPR news. https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/human-ear-has-been-grown-rat/ – The rat with the ear https://dolly.roslin.ed.ac.uk/facts/the-life-of-dolly/index.html – Dolly the Cloned Sheep https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/how-mouse-utopias-1960s-led-grim-predictions-humans-180954423/ – “Mouse Utopia”

      not in MLA format Please list by author's last name and then first name, following MLA format

    1. In America, a woman who is 5’4″ and between 145 and 169 pounds is considered overweight. This same woman would be considered obese if she were over 174 pounds. On the other hand, if this same woman were under 107 pounds, she would be underweight. On average, the human weighs 168 pounds. In other countries, this number is significantly lower. The average weight in Bangladesh is only 109 pounds. This is considered the skinniest country. In Fiji, however, being larger signifies wealth and health.

      cite source I am stopping to read here because I can't be sure what is yours and what is not: please cite sources at the point of borrowing. I am concerned by the lack of citations

    2. ne in five college-aged women show signs of bulimia. Working-class women tend to develop eating disorders due to the fact that they don’t have time to watch their weight.

      cire source

    3. As a result, people are self-conscious about their appearance, causing them to attempt to change their physical appearance by putting their bodies through intense activities such as binge eating.

      do you have a source in support of this claim?

    4. The way that the internet has affected the development of the average teen shows that social media is, in fact, a negative attribute to society.

      Generally, this is an effective intro paragraph but take care not to be led by a thesis or make an argument

    5. “Beauty Standards.” Edited by Patricia Patricia Whelehan, The International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality, https://www.bristolcc.edu:2325/content/title/wileyhs?tab=contents. Foner, Eric. “Fashion and Style.” The Reader’s Companion to American History, https://www.bristolcc.edu:2325/content/entry/rcah/fashion_and_style/0.

      pretty good form Remember to begin with author's or editor's last name and include dates of access Personal interview?

    1. In the 2017 Indian Journal of Health and Well being, Doctor Rashmi Upreti (doctor of philosophy in human development), and Doctor Ritu Singh (Ad

      transition?

    2. “An electromagnetic frequency is a physical field produced by moving and electrically charged particles and formed by rotation of electrons within the atoms and the core.”.

      cite source and integrate within your paragraph?

    3. on and off the phone time. Do not let yourself be consumed by something that could have an affect on you later in life.

      I don't see a list of works cited--very concerning

    1. Those watching the comedy experienced a 17% increase in brachial artery flow and a 10% increase in carotid artery compliance. Those watching the documentary experienced a 15% decrease in brachial artery flow and no change in their carotid artery compliance.

      cite source

    2. A study conducted by the American Heart Association’s Scientific Section in 2011 exposed 79 participants to either music or laughter therapy and recorded the effects on their blood pressure.

      cite author?

    3. Is laughter more than a spontaneous movement? Does laughter affect the brain and mental health in any way? Does laughter affect how we interact with others?

      I find your opening quite effective and very helpful

    4. Lastly, I was unsure how to cite a TED talk, do you know how?

      keep it simple? speaker last name, first name, title, TED Talks, date of talk, URL, date of access

    1. In the video “Your Brain on Social media”, a study that was shown expressed that student who used Facebook ended up getting higher grades in school and in class had a higher performance level

      cite author?

    2. Even students are example when they are in a classroom setting, they tend to go on their cell phones in the middle of a lecture being held.

      edit for punctuation, including comma splice

    3. n a peer reviewed article called “Social Media smartphone app and Psychopathology- A case report” they

      I would suggest putting the article title in your Work Cited and use the author's name here

    4. ocial Media Smartphone App and Psychopathology . http://www.bristolcc.edu:2068/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=2&sid=107b8cb0-3dfa-46a7-88bd-aa2a5782caaa@sessionmgr101. A Week Without Using Social Media. http://www.bristolcc.edu:2068/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=4&sid=107b8cb0-3dfa-46a7-88bd-aa2a5782caaa@sessionmgr101. SmartText Searching. http://www.bristolcc.edu:2054/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=3&sid=928795f8-0608-44cf-844c-5480a75075b5@sessionmgr4008. Deoliveria,Rita.Personal interview, 19 October.2019 BuzzFeedVideo “How Social Media Affects Your Brain” September 11 2018 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzUb_GeLDg8 October 31 2019

      not in MLA form Please begin with author's last name And please make clear what you obtained from a database, perhaps naming the data base I don't see a personal interview

    1. he said “The absolute hardest lane to bowl on. Having to bowl on these lanes are more challenging because there is more oil on the lanes then usual and is spread differently”

      cite source

    2. Citations:  YouTube, USBC Coaching Staff, 24 Sept. 2013, https://youtu.be/lHIpf_09ZAc.   YouTube, USBC Bowling Academy, 1 Oct. 2014, https://youtu.be/QL74-jfxGDQ.    “GETTING STARTED IN…. BOWLING.” Bristol Libraries Remote Access, CAMPBELL, MAUDE, Dec. 2018, http://www.bristolcc.edu:2068/ehost/detail/detail?vid=7&sid=9d30174a-7fb0-473e-b830-dde4407cd60a@sessionmgr103&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ==#. 

      Works Cited I am concerned: I don't see three peer reviewed articles, or a personal interview. And the list if not in MLA format

    1. It comes down to faith. Faith that the scientists understand the outputs of such simulations, and faith that such simulations are even accurate.

      an interesting what to put it

    2. Thus, radiative imbalance is, in part, what causes temperature variations and it occurs when the amount of solar energy lost and gained to the atmosphere are not equivalent. Spencer explains that, in 2007, the current man-made imbalance was hypothesized to be 0.85 W/m2. In comparison, the hypothesized average for both incoming and outgoing radiation at the top of the atmosphere was 240 W/m2. Furthermore, Spencer expresses that this relatively small portion also depends on a lot of assumed variables. “In other words, this small imbalance assumes all the natural forcings in the climate system are stable. This is unlikely to be true. The oceans can store or release huge amounts of heat without large temperature changes. Indeed, we already know that large radiative imbalances exist locally and regionally, for this is what drives much of our weather.” (Spencer)

      you seem to have disappeared from this paragraph: your source material dominates

    3. . (Spencer)

      I notice the pattern of citing sources only at the end of paragraphs. Please cite in each sentence when you borrow--for transparency's sake

    4. Oppenheimer and Anttila-Hughes) (Spencer)

      I'm confused: are they quoted in Spencer? If so you should indicate that: ("As quoted in . . . .)

    1. Over the course of the last twenty years caloric intake has increased by twenty percent. The average American yearly eats 200 pounds of meat as compared to 138 pounds in the 50’s, grains and saturated fats have also shot up in the same time period.

      cite sources: I am going to stop reading here because I can't tell with certainty what is yours and what is being drawn from sources. I am concerned by the lack of transparency in documenting use of sources

    2. The reality of life is that this stereotypical body type is nearly impossible for most individuals to obtain, sadly causing most to struggle with confidence in their body image.

      good, clear statement

    3. Adult Obesity- 2019    https://stateofchildhoodobesity.org/adult-obesity/   Fast Food-2019    https://www.sutterhealth.org/pamf/health/teens/nutrition/fast-food   Why Are Americas Obeses -2019    https://www.publichealth.org/public-awareness/obesity/   Why Do They Happen-2019   http://www.ulifeline.org/articles/400-eating-disorders-why-do-they-happen   Warning Signs-2018    https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/warning-signs-and-symptoms

      not in MLA format And I don't see three peer reviewed source or a personal interview: I'm concerned