“We don’t identify with the Anglo-American cultural values and we don’t totally identify with the Mexican cultural values. We are a synergy of two cultures with various degrees of Mexicanness or Angloness.”
good: who are "we"? Please use intent citation when quoting or paraphrasing
Gloria’s purpose in this letter was to inform
okay
The next source I share with you
Can you provide a smooth transition from one writer to the other?
He even made sure to keep his speech under fifth-teen minutes that way he wouldn’t lose his audience because there so eager to leave and see whats ahead
losing focus: stay with genre a while?
is spoken speech
graduation address?
His purpose was clearly to persuade the audience
good--stay focused on this, okay?
He continuously repeats the words “Carpe Diem” which stands for the urge to make most of the present time and give thought to the future.What I learned from this text is to not be focused on the future or the past but to live in the present.
try to stay focused on purpose, genre and audience. You seem to be drifting toward summary of message
The Billy Collins Commencement Address, Gloria Anzaldua, How to Tame a Wild Tongue, and Donovan Livingston, Commencement Address.
edit for fragment
The key terms writers must consider: genre, audience, and purpose is a decision every writer is governed by when writing. Purpose can be determined easily by asking this question: what am I trying to accomplish in this piece of writing?
I would put this earlier. I'm not sure, however, what the rest of the paragraph is doing, to be honest. Haven't you said this before?
It is a form of communication in written work, spoken speech, and or digital work. Its category is known for literature, and music. Genres can be aesthetic, rhetorical, and communicative. It is determined by the tone, technique, and content. They’re many types of genre such as science fiction, drama, mystery etc.
good definition; remember, though if you are using a source you must cite that source and make your obligation to that source transparent.
Genre comes from the french meaning “one kind.”
new paragraph?
The assembled spectators or listeners.
edit for fragment
you are writing too
edit: writing to
Audience is such an important aspect to writing because whether or not you like it,
new paragraph?
what each of these key terms mean
edit for subject-verb agreement: each of these terms means
Knowing the audience, genre and purpose is questions you will ask yourself
Can you rephrase for clarity? Knowing one's audience, genre, and purpose is key to succeeding as a writer.
in society, its how we document our past, present and predict our future.
edit for comma splice (using comma as period) and punctuation for contraction?
Writings sort of
edit? Writing is a tool
you want it to be
why the shift to "you"?
Lisa Schwarzbaum, Rhetorical Situation, writing in the works, 4th edition. 01, Cengage Learning, 2015, United States of America Susan Blau, Kathryn Burak, Writers Process, Writing in the Works, 4th edition, 01, Cengage Learning, 2015, United States of America Billy Collins, the Commencement Address, http://www2.coloradocollege.edu/commencement/BillyCollins.asp, 10/02/13, Colorado College
please edit to conform to MLA citation format (8th ed). I'm also seeing only one of our readings rather than three of them.
Accessed Sept 22, 2018
might have to go after the web address?
touch the reader in some way.
I guess what you are saying in your Theory of Writing is that writers appeal to readers' emotions?
helps the reader
perhaps young readers who get their media with graphics, sound and video?
Faten Addad-Clerx’s, “60 Seconds in Africa”, is a presentation that falls into the genre of a Pecha Kucha.
transition?
ollins encouraged that you are to value each day you are given because the only things guaranteed are the past and present. People spend their time obsessing about the future but by the time it is
note how you lose your focus, shifting from purpose to message
The purpose of his speech was to enlighten, encourage and inspire.
good
It is apparent that he understands his audience and knows
please explain your reasoning here
Billy Collins’ Commencement Address came in the genre of a poetic speech
can you provide a transition from King to Collins?
(paragraph 1) King responded with: “I am in Birmingham because injustice is here. Just as the prophets of the eighth century B.C. left their villages and carried their “thus saith the Lord” far beyond the boundaries of their home towns, and just as the Apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco Roman world, so am I compelled to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town. Like Paul, I must constantly respond to the Macedonian call for aid.” (King 3)
thanks for the in-text citation--try to be consistent, though;: (King par. 1). For long quotations you might use what is called a hanging indent, setting aside in its own paragraph. Still, I like the passage and your use of it.
His audience were the eight clergymen
The members of his audience were. . . .[to keep a plural subject]
He chose to write a letter, opposed to other genres of writing, not only because he received one, but because it is the most personal way to speak to a targeted group of people.
good observation
do I choose to reach my audience? That category is labeled as genre. Genre is a type of writing that fits into a certain category or has a similar subject matter. Once you
note the shift in perspective--from I to you. Why not stay in the third person--e.g. he or she or writers?
In writing, there are elements of rhetorical situation. Rhetorical situation refers to the situation you are in as a writer.
I wonder if you could combine these sentences: When writing, the rhetorical situation refers. . . .
Did I transition from one paragraph to the next i
good question
variety of genres of sources we were given to chose from to complete this assignment. I liked the fact that we could choose from 5 different sources. That made the assignment more enjoyable because I could choose from what was more interesting to me.
good response and I'm glad to hear you were interested
Sources ~
Works Cited--you will need to cite these sources somewhere in this composition. Please alphabetize, per MLA.
nally I produced a music track using my Mac book and microphone . The project was excellent.
okay--so you did create a music track?
who is still considered one of the best to do it . After this I used GarageBand my Scarlet pro headphone
so, will I be able to hear this?
I started off traditionally with a hook or chorus. Using the words “hip hop” on repetition , a style i learned from Dr. King , in his ,”Letter to Birmingham” . After th
I like the detail about process here.
I started realizing how little I really did know
Good--I appreciate this acknowledgement.
Process~
Can you break this long paragraph up?
My audience would most likely be into hip hop in the first place ,
okay: good
There was no technology to do this for you and you’re wording had to be very concise or it would get you thrown off stage just like it was when hip hop first came out ! I felt like having the poem would help people better appreciate the song itself , because they could either read it alone , especially if they’re not huge fans of rap , or they could read along they could have a better grasp at what I was actually saying and what points it was I was trying to make .
This seems almost as if you are performing right here--note the loose sentence structure. You may want to edit for punctuation and break this long sentence up.
shakespearian days
Shakespearean days
Not to mention coming up with analogies and interesting topics
edit for fragments, as here
you’re lines
your lines
I also wanted to show how hip hop is all over the world and the impact it has had on not just our societies but everywhere .
okay--good--this goes to your purpose Can you be more precise as to your audience?
Rational~
Rationale
Now you will need to add a third genre, right?
Started in New York , a son of the bronx A close friend of Jazz and the cousin of Rock Started with Dj’s , break dancers
I like this move: bringing the history
Hip Hop Poem
Can you record and insert your performance as added media? That would make sense, no? Think of the web as multimedia, okay?
Hip Hop song
I assume you meant to label this "Infographic,"? The resolution needs to be improved but from what I can see this timeline seems reasonable and informative. I do see some text that has been cut off--you'll need to work on it. But from what I can see this is going in the right direction. Can you insert a link/code so that I can go to Canva to view the Infographic clearly?
Work Cited
Please indicate authors and alphabetize by author's last name.
I chose not to use any picture because mostly I couldn’t find an image that captured the look I
a PSA without a graphic likely isn't a PSA. Check out the chapter in our textbook. You can use words as images, if you like, but not simply as words, if you know what I mean
personal essay
How did you compose it, step by step?
more specifically music lovers.
okay: so this is your audience
said that yellow is the most noticeable color by the human eye. By placing yellow with black, the yellow will become much brighter attracting the human eye even more.
good detail
will attracted
will attract
My targeted audience
Can you be more precise as to your audience?
To an audience whom doesn’t fully understand music and its power. To ones who just need a way to escape the harsh reality.
Are these fragments intentional?
Genre 3: Personal Essay
You do a good job here. The writing is clear and fluent. The message comes through. I'm not sure who your intended audience is but I will wait until I read your rationale. The only thing missing here is the music itself (see my comment above). At the very least bring on the detailed references to specific artists, songs: bring your reader into your subject, if you are willing.
t’s like you’re
why the shift to "you"? Why not stay with "I"?
As I sit in my room and think about how I have two exams, a quiz and three homework assignments due, I turn on my music and let the melody of one of my favorite songs fill the room. T
I appreciate the detail. What kind of music do you listen to? Perhaps examples will help. By the way, if copyright permits, you could allow me to listen in via a link in this essay. This is an essay in a digital environment: that means audio is possible.
I honestly listen to at least fifteen to twenty songs a day, depending on the type of day I’m having I could listen to least ten more.
note comma splice, here and elsewhere (using a comma instead of a period)
Whether she was cleaning, driving, hosting a party or just wanted a sense of relief and bliss.
strictly speaking, this is a fragment
wanted
wanting
Genre 2: PSA
I don't see the PSA. Was there supposed to be a link? Remember that a PSA is a visual argument, right? See chapter in our textbook.
Genre 1: Infograph
an appealing infographic, visually I see that it has a good focus. I do like the data at the top of the infographic (you will need to cite source in text, by the way). I do wish that you'd perhaps had more data to share. It seems that the infographic is top heaving--lots of data at the start but little the rest of the way.
Works Cited
not quite in MLA format. Remember to include the names of data bases for articles obtained in that way. Also include dates of access for all web-based sources
was the newsletter.
Can you describe your composing process, step by step?
this website
which website? Can you lay out your composing process step by step?
Reflection:
Please separate into multiple paragraphs, for your reader's sake
Well, my audience was parents.
Clearly, yes: good
Newsletter:
Again, you do well here. The newsletter has a strong, visual appeal, quite authentic looking. The audience is clear from the start. The writing is clear as well and appropriate to your purpose, genre and audience.<br> My only concern is that the data you have here has been used in the other genres. I'd hope that you had enough data to spread around. And you will need to cite your sources, right?
Infographic:
You do a good job here as well. Your infographic has a strong, visual appeal, and a clear message. You provide relevant and compelling evidence. But note that the pie chart needs informational labeling, no? And you will need to use in-text citations and list your sources at the end using MLA format.
Essay:
You do a good job with this essay. You state your thesis clearly. You proceed to argue your case logically. You bring evidence in support in a purposeful way. But remember to cite your sources per MLA format: author's name given parenthetically in text and a list of sources at the end, right?
would happen if your kids don’t get into sports?
So your audience here is the parent?
your debating
you are: but why the shift to "you"?
According to Joseph Studer’s experiment, kids who never exercised “were associated with a high prevalence of being obese”. Kids who regularly exercised had a “high prevalence of being of normal weight”
again, good use of sources
e less likely to have heart trouble and to be obese.
good--cite sources
are goods and bads
good and bad are adjectives normally--so you would write something like "good aspects" and "bad aspects" or advantages or disadvantages, right?
he Washington Post “40 percent of kids in the U.S. play a team sport on a regular basis”
good use of source but remember to cite author, okay?
Work Cited https://wayne.edu/newsroom/release/2018/02/05/research-presents-new-information-about-the-flint-water-crisis-6218#.WuS4gkruQXs.link https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lead-pipes-everywhere_us_56a8e916e4b0f71799288f54 https://www.watertechonline.com/the-importance-of-monitoring-turbidity-in-industrial-water-treatment/ https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/michigan/articles/2017-06-14/a-timeline-of-the-water- crisis-in-flint-michigan https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lead-pipes-everywhere_us_56a8e916e4b0f71799288f54 https://www.watertechonline.com/the-importance-of-monitoring-turbidity-in-industrial-water-treatment/ https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/michigan/articles/2017-06-14/a-timeline-of-the-water- crisis-in-flint-michigan
These are not in MLA format. Note also that you haven't included a Reflection section.
Having unfit water can also be a part of an adolescent in life teaching your kids that hygiene plays a big role in our lives.
You will need to focus on the question: who is your intended audience?
to there water
their water
he essay I gave my opinion on the situation in Flint I believe most people would agree on healthy water
Does an essay just give an opinion?
The infographic because it gave a lot of straightforward details and getting to the point on the situation
Yes; good
he 3 genres
The three genres
Essay:
The subject of this essay is important: good. Might you sharpen the focus? Yes. What is the Big Idea that you want to present through this essay? You will need also to support your ideas with sources, which will need to be cited.<br> And please note the need to edit for grammar and mechanics (especially fragments). I'd be glad to help.
The Governor of Flint
Governor of Michigan?
Lead pipes are also found in the Midwest and Northeast as well, pa problem that’s much bigger than Flint:
This is important: thanks. Remember to cite source, though
Clearly after doctor urging Flint to stop using the water because of lead contamination in the water.
edit for fragments, here and elsewhere
it sim fake
edit for typos, as here
Brings me back to 911
You will need to include a subject with your verb, right? This brings me back . . .
I have to be honest following the news I do lack in the world news today.
I don't think I understand: please rephrase?
Newsletter:
I admit to being confused here. You seem simply to have reproduced a page from CNN. You are supposed to create your own newsletter (or what ever genre you've selected).
Infographic:
I like the concept and messaging of a timeline: good. But you've provided much too much text. I'd like you to reduce the amount of words! And you will also need to make sure that the resolution is good enough for me to read: I had difficulty seeing through the blurred images. Still, I see the progress you've made here.
Genre 3 Inside of brochure
Again, resolution and visibility are challenges and need to be corrected. Can you create a hyper link to the doc as it is meant to be seen? You seem to have a good, sharp message here and some data. I'd be glad to help with the tech piece of this at the least
Genre 2 Public Service Message
This seems to be a paper copy, photographed? Can you create a PSA? I'm not sure I understand the headline, to be honest. And of course you will need a contact organization listed so people know where to go to do something. You might want to read the chapter in our text on PSA's.
Genre 1 Infogra
I am unable to read this infographic because of the poor resolution. Please improve readability. The infographic seems to have a good focus/message. Of course it will need to have more data than a single chart, right? And please cite sources, in -text.
Gibeaut, John. “Retired Players Sue NFL.” JSTOR, www.jstor.org.uri.idm.oclc.org/stable/pdf/23034146.pdf?refreqid=excelsior%3A725d8094f7adbd78e973f294785dadba.
title of journal and date of access (for each web-based source)
Seymour, Gene. “The Old-New Politics of Black Protest.” JSTOR, 2016, www.jstor.org.uri.idm.oclc.org/stable/pdf/44397756.pdf?refreqid=excelsior%3Ae72b16996b3f24d66f63bbdc4cfbebdd
title of journal?
Seppa, Nathan. “More Concussions in Leagues with Body Checking.” JSTOR, www.jstor.org.uri.idm.oclc.org/stable/pdf/20722911.pdf?refreqid=excelsior%3A7fd3133378bfd3dc9e584e1e68a514d4.
title of journal?
These 3 topics are the topics that will draw the largest audience to the Big question that is being asked “what the future of the NFL is?
I wonder if instead of describing topics only you also describe the process you took to compose these three genres, step by step? That's what the reflection section is asking to do, right?
combines 2 major
two major
there was many different reasons
there were many reasons or better yet I chose this topic for many reasons
These are the genres that I chose that I think will work best for my topic to show why the NFL’s future is very much up in the air as of right now.
good: you've described the genres. Can you also describe the audience(s) you intend to reach with them?
An has a picture
typo
The genres that I decided to choose for this topic were an infographic, a brochure and lastly a public service message. These 3 genres I believe get the message across faster than other genres.
I might suggest getting to this earlier, okay?
any people in the U.S today believe that the NFL is on a timer, they believ
edit for comma splice (using comma instead of period), here and elsewhere
if their
if there
Rationale
Do you think it might be possible to put your three genres on top, followed by your rationale and reflection and Works Cited and Postwrite?
Plowman, Lydia. McPake, Joanna. Stephen, Christine. “The Technologisation of childhood? Young Children and technology in the Home.” Children & Society Volume 24(2010)pp.63-74.http://www.bristolcc.edu:2068/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=3&sid=c10d1034-628d-4e78-b677-1475ccc2fa70%40sessionmgr104 Pomerantz, Andrew M. My Psychology. New York, 2018, pp. 303.
Close but not quite MLA: remember to include dates of access on all web-based sources
For the third genre I choose to do a brochure because I imagine myself giving a parent conference or some type of talk and would love to provide them brochures that guide them what the talk is all about. Brochures would be a good genre for my audience because is precise and informative. Also, parent would be able to take it home with them and read it as many times as they like.
This may more properly belong to the rationale, no?
Because these parents try think like every parent that technology is the key to succeed in today’s modern world. These parents work hard to afford their kids the opportunity to be updated. However low-income families may have a misunderstood of what technology really is that they see technology as a mediator to intelligence. True is that technology is second hand interaction and fall back to what most parents think. Technology does improve what children’s already have learn through direct interaction. Technology cannot replace the most important interaction that is face-to-face in a developing brain. Children’s need direct interaction to have a healthy developing brain and movement development.
you seem to have lost your focus--which should be on your composing process, right?
I wasn’t very sure how to use proper pictures out of the internet, so I decided on doing something less complex but still would drag my audience attention
I like the precise way you describe your process
What technology overuse is correlate to such as child obesity, depression, stress, adrenaline, etc.
note fragment and unclear phrasing
And I know my audience will be engaged.
Please identify your audience(s) precisely
The genres I choose I choose them because I’m
I'd like you to get to this part sooner--it should be the heart of your rationale, right?
Children’s this
edit for mechanics: Children this age
My mainly focused are childre
rephrase: I focus on children. . . .Or my main focus in on. . .
and I really put all my interest in it.
I can see that: good
the way the raise
edit for typos, here and elsewhere
Rationale
Please write in multiple paragraphs for each section
Genre 3: Brochure
You have good focus. You provide lots of relevant and compelling data. Remember, though, to cite your source in-text and to list them at the end.<br> Are the panels arranged as they need to be in a trifold? I'm not certain. You might want to try this on paper first. Please edit for spelling, typos
Genre 2: Public Service Announcement
This PSA is effective: it has a sharp, clear message. Its graphic is compelling and appropriate. Good work.
Genre 1: Infographic
This infographic has a good focus and important message. It had good, relevant data but you will need to cite your sources in-text. I notice that the chart on the left is difficult to read. You will need to edit for grammar, starting with the title which might read, "Technological Impact . . . As It Relates to . . . ."
Did this assignment remind you of any writing that you’ve done previously? Please describe that work.
Please provide a list of Works Cited
The message is about dog meat trade and help to make and ending to it. The audience is not only for animal lovers but animals right, people that go out of their way to protect animals being abuse but most importantly dogs lovers.
I think this may belong in the rationale section.. In this reflective section, I'd like you to describe your composing process.
Looking back to what a rhetorical situation is which includes 7 things
note fragment
I feel like with this assignment all I really focus on convincing my audience on to go out there and either help end dog meat farms, adopt a dog or if they can’t do that there is always other ways to help out just from being home by donating money, dog food, toys, or even sponsor the dogs as much as we can
please edit this sentence, okay: it seems more like speaking than writing
audience attention
audience's attention--please define your audience precisely, okay?
he not only help
helped
was actually rescued from a dog meat farm
true or fake?
The obituary although it’s fake
hmmm: should an obit be fake? I'm afraid that the lack of detail suggested as much and as a result didn't really connect with me
I decided to do it on some
rephrase: I decided to draw upon some statistics. . . .
and a few make believe
not sure what this means
Rationale
Please use multiple paragraphs for each section.
Genre #3 Public Service Announcement
This is perhaps your most effective composition. It is focused, true to the genre, and uses pathos in appealing to the viewer. I do note, though, that the graphic in the lower right is difficult to read. And I also see that the font size/type of the text seems inconsistent. In fact, might you reduce some of the text?
Genre #2 Infographic
You do have a clear message in this infographic--good. And you have provided data. However, the first chart is confusing: 75% of 10-20 million dogs? I'm not sure what that and the other percentages mean, to be honest. The second chart is more effective and clear in its delivery. But please cite sources in text. Can you produce the infographic in a single document? I'm not sure how necessary the second page is anyway.
Genre #1 Obituary
The subject of your obituary certainly is appropriate and fits nicely with your research subject. I do want you, however, to provide more detail, the kind we discussed in class (celebrating.a life's accomplishments). I realize the challenge of doing so with an animal but I'd like you to try. I also suggest shrinking the photos as you provide more text. Finally, you will need to edit for typos and spelling errors.
“Greenhouse Gases.” Global Issues in Context Online Collection, Gale, 2018. Global Issues In Context, http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/CP3208520164/GIC?u=mlin_s_bristcc&sid=GIC&xid=70dde698. Accessed 22 Apr. 2018. TEDxTalks. “Making Greenhouse Gases Visible: Antony Turner at TEDxExeter.” YouTube, YouTube, 11 May 2012, www.youtube.com/watch? “The Edublogger’s Guide To Podcasting.” The Edublogger, 3 Apr. 2018, www.theedublogger.com/2018/04/02/podcasting/?utm_source=Edublogs&utm_campaign=289dec974e-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2018_04_03&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_0417f70ab4-289dec974e-87147105. “Creating a News Report.” YouTube, YouTube, 18 Feb. 2014, www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_NmVtnEEA8&t=1s. KimberlyAnnJimenez. “How To Create Infographics (The Ultra-Simple & Easy Way).” YouTube, YouTube, 13 Feb. 2014, www.youtube.com/watch?v=nShmwzh879g.
please alphabetize and give dates of access for each source, per MLA?
Reflection:
Can you break up the reflection and rationale sections each into multiple paragraphs? I'd also like to see more process described in the reflection: what steps did you take in composing each of these genres?
You have
why the shift from "we" to "you"?
the commissions
right word?
A Newspaper article, and a podcast is able
are able
the reader
please identify your audience for this genre, too
audience’
Please identify your audience
Now, when picking the newspaper you have to make sure all items you put down correlate with one another. The color and the name all come into play when having a great newspaper article.
This seems to more properly belong in your reflection, no?
Something that your going to read and wonder what the person meant by what you were talking about.
note fragment and mechanical lapses (your should be you're, for example)
was suppose
was supposed
Podcast are
Podcasts are
infographic
Can you identify your audience?
The best infographics have very powerful words
and lots of data, right?
Genre#3 Podcast
I enjoyed this podcast. Your voice is engaging. But even more importantly you provides lots of relevant and useful information and you have a sharp, focused message. Now, might you make this broadcast more appealing? I think so. You could set this up by introducing the podcast and yourself. And of course you could provide some background music (without copyright infringement).
Genre #2 Newspaper
Thanks for the authentically looking presentation. You will need to edit for grammar and mechanics, though--especially the fragments. I'd be glad to help. Also note that you will need to cite your sources. This does seem like an editorial--sources are important to support claims in an editorial, right?
Genre #1 Info Graphic
visually appealing but I am unable to read the print. Still what I can see seems thin to me. I'd like to see more information/data on this infographic.
Nguyen, Victoria. “LeBron Wins Community Assist Award for December.” TheScore.com, TheScore, 31 Jan. 2018, www.thescore.com/nba/news/1477151-lebron-wins-community-assist-award-for-december Rapaport, Daniel. “Every Current Player Implicated in the FBI’s NCAA Hoops Probe.” Google, Google, 24 Feb. 2018, www.google.com/amp/amp.si.com/college-basketball/2018/02/24/college-basketball-scandal-fbi-probe-players-involved Reid, Eric. “Opinion | Eric Reid: Why Colin Kaepernick and I Decided to Take a Knee.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 20 Jan. 2018, mobile.nytimes.com/2017/09/25/opinion/colin-kaepernick-football-protests.html?referer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F Vulcan, Nicole. “How Does Playing Sports Make You More Healthy?” LIVESTRONG.COM, Leaf Group, 11 Sept. 2017, www.livestrong.com/article/500263-how-does-playing-sports-make-you-more-healthy/. DeLisa, Jessica. “Sports Health Facts.” LIVESTRONG.COM, Leaf Group, 11 Sept. 2017, www.livestrong.com/article/204226-sports-health-facts/.
Pretty good format, but please alphabetize and include dates of access for all sources.
The public service announcement was a perfect genre for me on this assignment because there are many sports related ones that catch the attention of a wide audience whether it’s about how it changed someone’s life, about a particular player, or any other information regarding another topic like political issues and how it’s being viewed in the sports world.
Might you move this to the rationale section?
Generally, I wonder if you could in the reflection section talk more about the process of putting together each of these compositions? Discuss process, okay?
more and more interested in the things I was finding
Good to hear
People who read this
Please identify your audience?
the viewers eye
viewer's
public Service announcement.
edit for consistent capitalization?
Coaches, parents and family is just one reason
are among the many reasons
numbers for each sport is
numbers. . . are
my audience
can you define that audience more precisely?
I chose this
actually, it was required, right? But I get your point that you still needed to identify an audience and purpose.
enre 3: Brochure
This is your most focused composition: it has a clear message and does provide relevant information. But I sense the need to provide additional information--the brochure seems thin to me, with lots of blank space. And remember to cite and list your sources, per MLA.
Genre 2: Public Service Announcement
The colors are appealing and accessible. But again the message requires focusing. Remember that a PSA addresses a public concern and then directs people to an actual agency that can do something about the problem. Might you, for example, have a PSA about the dangers of not exercising? Please read chapter in our text on building a PSA.
Genre 1: Infographic
Link wasn't working but I was able to get there via browser. The colors are appealing but I sensed the need to sharpen your message/focus: is this infographic about Brazil's participation? Is it about the world's participation? Is it about training for the Olympics? Is it about the importance of the Olympics themselves?
Works Cited
Please alphabetize and include dates of access?
Unfortunately, there is poor sound in certain parts of the recording which will need to be replaced.
I noticed that myself.
I am not sure if the photos I chose for the magazine add anything, but I am fairly certain they do not detract from reading.
Can you say where you obtained the photos?
I thought the way the events were arranged and displayed against a contrasting white background added to the ease of reading.
I agree--and thanks for this description
I wanted to show some of the major events of the feminist movements that have led to changes in policy, law, and public perception regarding gender.
Good. Who might be your intended audience?
The primary audience for a magazine of this type would be people interested in or studying the structure, development, and functioning of human society.
Good, precise description. See my annotations about the need to cite sources that meet the audience's expectations?
Genre #3– Magazine
I like the authentic, magazine format and visual design. Might it be possible to have this in one document/link? I am assuming that the last article is forthcoming--it was blank when I retrieved it.<br> Is this a magazine for socialists? If so, shouldn't you have cited and listed sources (academic, presumably?)?
Genre #2– Pecha Kucha
I like the sharp focus here. And you have varied and appealing slides. In addition, you offer lots of information, all relevant, all compelling There are some tech issues, however: I needed to manually advance the slides and volume was inconsistent. I also had to activate the sound by advancing the slides a second time.
Genre #1– Infographic
very nicely done: clear, accessible, visually appealing and informative. I've think you've learned a lot here. But you will need to cite your sources at the point of borrowing, using in-text citations.
I wonder if what you have here is a "Brief History of Women's Rights in the US" rather than of feminism, per se. But the difference may be trivial, in practical terms.
Works Cited
complete and MLA compliant: good
My other genre which was an infographic was a
Can you break up this long paragraph into multiple paragraphs, for ease of reading?
When starting major assignment three
Is this the start of your reflection?
My audience for this genre was for everyone
Can you narrow this? After all, who can write to everyone?
But with my picture I included a caption, a photo, and a little thought bubble with what was going on in the person’s mind. I had to ask my “model” what they were doing on their phone and represent that in my post, this was sort of a challenge
I appreciate the detail here.
Genre 2: Instagram Post
clever and effective
instagram, twitter, snapchat
capitalize initial letters, okay?
how fitting for my topic!
I agree
Since an infographic includes all of these things in a visual way my audience typically would be for teenagers and maybe a little younger.
This seems reasonable.
As many of us may know technology is something that is always around us
Please label or head "rationale" and "reflection" where appropriate
Genre 3: Text Messages
I'm having difficulty reading this: please help with resolution? It does seem an appropriate choice of genre, given the subject.
Genre 1: Infographic
clear and visually accessible infographic, with a focused message. I did have difficulty viewing the graph on the lower right--resolution was not sharp. Please cite sources in-text, per MLA, okay?
I made multiple changes and decisions when revising my paper, for example I changed a couple of my resources, I went through and made sure that my source were reliable.
okay: please say more?
Leslie Hicks and Mike Stein “Understanding and working with adolescent neglect: perspectives from research, young people and professionals” Child&Family Social Work March 2013 Web. March 2, 2018 Marina Lalayants and Jonathan D. Prince “Child Neglect and Onset of Substance Use Disorders among Child Welfare-Involved Adolescents” Child Abuse review January 17, 2015 Web. March 2, 2018 http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/Child%20Neglect%20and%20Onset%20of%20Substance%20Use%20Disorders%20among%20Child%20Welfare-Involved%20Adolescents
Please follow MLA format
I also chose neglected children because maybe if they know that they aren’t alone, and that this happens to other children. I feel it’d be easier for them to speak up for themselves to someone they trust that way they can get the help/safety they need and to help the statistics of deaths per day decrease.
Can you describe what process you went through to create these genres?
While writing this I had to consider who I was writing to an audience. For major assignment three after picking my topic and genres it was clear to me exactly who my audience could be. With this kind of topic and discussion I had to choose wisely. The audience that major assignment three was written for is people in the Human Service field
doesn't this more properly belong in the rationale?
I chose this because it is a silent cry for help from children, because when it comes to kids they’re not going to speak up you have to be able to see through their eyes into the sadness of what is happening behind closed doors.
Fair enough. But please identify your intended audience, okay?
I chose text messaging for different reasons
I guess the question I would have is, Why would people text message about child neglect/abuse? That seems unusual, no? Who is your intended audience?
Child neglect is a problem that is occuring no matter what color, race, or ethnicity a child is
But your data seems to suggest otherwise, no?
Genre 3 – Public Service Announcement
powerful photos. But a PSA will need to provide captions directly on the photo and should also include authentic contact info for those who wish to do something about the problem. Photos should be in public domain and cited, if you didn't take them yourself.
Genre 2- Text Messaging
I had difficulty reading this--resolution not sharp. I will need to learn more as to why you chose this genre and for what purpose and audience.
Infographic
You seem to have reversed pages. You have interesting tables, although you will need to cite your source and provide additional information on the second chart. Finally, I don't know what the pyramid is doing.