2 Matching Annotations
  1. Dec 2016
    1. he expectation of romance in relationship exacts an exorbitant price, both immediately in terms of time, energy and attention and in a long-range sense. People lose so much over this pursuit and how little is their reward--a few moments of self-inflated pleasure or self-abandonment or a few moments of physical sensation, none of which can be maintained for long. The reality of the relationship can seem very depressing in contrast to the thrill of romance. That is because people invest in the romance and not in the relationship.
    2. Most of the pleasures that are damaging to people are damaging because the investment is great and the reward is very small. In many cases, there is no reward at all. There is only investment and reinvestment. Here we have the contrast between fantasy regarding the pleasure and the real experience. How often have you been disappointed by the real experience of something because the anticipation was so great and so inflated and you had invested so much? Then the real experience came, and it really was not that fine after all. Observe little children around Christmas, how their anticipation and their expectations are so great. The investment of time, energy and attention is so great, but after the gifts are all unwrapped, there is disappointment. The investment is great. The reward is small. Consider how many times you were disappointed by things that you had hoped would be wonderful and magnificent. Why the disappointment? Because the investment was great and the reward was small. Recall experiences where you made an investment of yourself and there was no reward at all.