The Roots of Social Anxiety... ft. Dr. Ali Mattu

highlights the universality of anxiety

hypernormalization

Neurotic means you’re afflicted by neurosis, a word that has been in use since the 1700s to describe mental, emotional, or physical reactions that are drastic and irrational. At its root, a neurotic behavior is an automatic, unconscious effort to manage deep anxiety.

For Kierkegaard, anxiety/dread/angst is "freedom's actuality as the possibility of possibility." Kierkegaard uses the example of a man standing on the edge of a tall building or cliff. When the man looks over the edge, he experiences an aversion to the possibility of falling, but at the same time, the man feels a terrifying impulse to throw himself intentionally off the edge. That experience is anxiety or dread because of our complete freedom to choose to either throw oneself off or to stay put. The mere fact that one has the possibility and freedom to do something, even the most terrifying of possibilities, triggers immense feelings of dread. Kierkegaard called this our "dizziness of freedom".

The drama of suspenseful approach does not have to be tied to combat or to jack-in-the-box effects. It can also have the feeling of a determination to face the truth, to stare directly at the threatening beast.

The proliferation of interconnected files is an attempt to answer the perennial and ultimately unanswerable question of why this incident happened

75% said that they think the future is frightening

Commentators insisted that gossip was the province of women. Originally meaning ‘godparent’, ‘gossip’ shifted its meaning across the early modern period. It became commonplace to accuse women of gossiping and of being gossips, and a set of meanings crystallised around the word that reflected men’s anxiety about what women were saying about them behind their backs.

“I wrote 86 episodes of ‘The West Wing,’ and every single time I finished one, I’d be happy for five minutes before it just meant that I haven’t started the next one yet, and I never thought I would be able to write the next one. Ever.”

In 1971, his reputation was beginning its ascent when he was interviewed by The Ohio Review. He described what he felt after completing a poem:Well, after the brief, and I think normal, period of exhilaration, there is a let-down. What I’ve done is written another poem. And what I have to do is write another one.

“young adults age 18-24 were five times more likely to have mental health challenges compared to their grandparents' generation.

Knowledge about problems on this scale brings paralyzing guilt, fear, and a sense of helplessness

Each reflects the operation of psychological mechanisms that were designed through evolution to serve important adaptive functions, but that nevertheless can produce harmful consequences.

What do anxiety disorders, domestic violence, racial prejudice, and obesity all have in common?

Relative to the evolutionary past, social relationships in modernized western societies tend to involve a much wider variety of relationships, along with relatively less immediate connection with close, kin-based support networks

From an evolutionary perspective, social anxiety is designed primarily to help people ensure an adequate level of social acceptance and, throughout most of human history, this meant acceptance in a tightly-knit group based primarily of biological kin

Although social anxiety can serve useful functions, it can also involve excessive worry, negative affect, and exaggerated avoidance of social situations. Understanding the root causes of anxiety-related problems is an essential step in the development of interventions and policies to reduce dysfunction.

we focus primarily on social anxiety

I agree as I have heard from many young people that they aren't voting because they don't trust the politicians. They hear their promises and then when they get elected they don't deliver on those promises, so young people feel helpless to change the system.

Over 50% of people reported feeling powerless or helpless in the previously mentioned study.

The survey — the largest of its kind — asked 10,000 young people in 10 countries how they felt about climate change and government responses to it.The results, released in a preprint on 14 September1, found that most respondents were concerned about climate change, with nearly 60% saying they felt ‘very worried’ or ‘extremely worried’. Many associated negative emotions with climate change — the most commonly chosen were ‘sad’, ‘afraid’, ‘anxious’, ‘angry’ and ‘powerless’ (see ‘Climate anxiety’). Overall, 45% of participants said their feelings about climate change impacted their daily lives.

Anxiety Makes Me Feel Like I am Losing My MindAnxiety, Mental Health, Therapy, Treatment<img width="550" height="321" src="https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/anxiety-makes-me-feel-like-i-am-losing-my-mind-550x321.jpg.webp" class="attachment-entry_with_sidebar size-entry_with_sidebar wp-post-image" alt="i feel like i&#039;m losing my mind" /> Table of Contents Help! Anxiety Makes Me Feel Like I am Losing My MindI Feel Like I’m Losing My MindDifferent Types of Anxiety DisordersHow to Manage AnxietyHolistic Therapies That Help Manage StressElevation Behavioral Health Provides Expert Treatment for Anxiety  Help! Anxiety Makes Me Feel Like I am Losing My Mind Anxiety can be so hard to live with. Constant worry and stress keep you in a state of constant fight-or-flight mode at the slightest little trigger. You may try to reason with yourself, that the stress triggers are no big deal. Your brain, though, is locked and loaded to take you through the spectrum of anxiety symptoms. You just can’t seem to break the stress cycle. Many who approach a doctor with their complaints about their symptoms have truly suffered. They are seeking ways to manage the stress so they can live a normal, happy life. This goal is very possible to reach with the right treatment plan. Anxiety treatment can help reduce when you find yourself expressing am I losing my mind and help reduce the daily struggle and greatly improve your life. <img class="alignright wp-image-28337" src="https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/losingmind.jpg.webp" alt="i'm losing my mind" width="300" height="634" srcset="https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/losingmind.jpg.webp 568w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/losingmind-142x300.jpg.webp 142w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/losingmind-488x1030.jpg.webp 488w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/losingmind-334x705.jpg.webp 334w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />I Feel Like I’m Losing My Mind Anxiety disorder is a broad grouping of mental health disorders, each with excess worry or fear driving it. Anxiety disorders are very common, with 40 million people struggling with one each year. This disorder is different from the common fear you might feel before having to make a public speech. We all have felt afraid from time to time, like when we are pushed out of our comfort zone. Anxiety disorders, though, are very intrusive. Constant stress can be so difficult to manage that it impacts one’s lifestyle, career, health, and friendships. What It Feels Like On one hand, when someone suffers from this problem, something will trigger a cascade of symptoms. There are many types of anxiety and each has its own unique features. The basic anxiety symptoms include: Feelings of dread and fear. Always being on alert for danger. Racing heart. Shaking. Sweating. Fast breathing. Shortness of breath, holding one’s breath. Stomach upset, diarrhea. Feeling jumpy or restless. Insomnia. Headaches. Different Types of Anxiety Disorders There are varied ways that anxiety is expressed. For this reason, there are six types of mental health disorders. The anxiety spectrum includes: Generalized anxiety disorder: GAD features constant worry for much of the day. This can result in headaches, muscle tension, nausea, and trouble thinking. Panic disorder: Sudden and unexplained feelings of intense terror. This can cause a racing heart, shortness of breath, nausea, chest pain, feeling out of my mind, dizzy. May lead to social isolation to avoid having an attack. Social anxiety: Intense fear of being judged or critiqued. Fear of being embarrassed in public. Causes social isolation. Specific phobias: Irrational fear of a certain thing, place, or situation. To manage this fear, the person will go to great measures to avoid triggers. Trauma disorder: PTSD is about never getting over trauma, even months later, It can lead to avoidance of people, places, or situations that trigger thoughts of the event. Flashbacks, nightmares, or repeated thoughts of the trauma stoke the symptoms. Obsessive-compulsive disorder: OCD involves worries about things like germs, causing harm, or a need for order. This drives compulsive behaviors in an attempt to manage the symptoms of anxiety caused by the fear. How to Manage Anxiety Do the symptoms of anxiety make you feel like you’re losing your mind? If so, it is time to meet with a mental health worker. At the first meeting, a therapist will assess what type of anxiety you are dealing with. We Can Help! Call Now! (888) 561-0868 He or she will then design a treatment plan that will help you manage the symptoms. The treatment uses a combined approach with psychotherapy, drugs, and healthy actions that help to reduce stress. Therapy for anxiety is based on the type you have. CBT is very helpful for people that struggle with excess worry and fear. It also helps you to notice how your thoughts are driving the panic-type response to a trigger. CBT then guides you toward changing those fear-based thoughts into more positive ones. Once the thoughts are reframed, the actions that follow will also be positive. Anti-anxiety drugs from the benzo group can be helpful for some people. These drugs work swiftly to help calm nerves and relax you. In some cases, antidepressants are used to treat anxiety as well. <img class="alignright wp-image-28339" src="https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/maninmirror.jpg.webp" alt="feel like i'm losing my mind" width="300" height="634" srcset="https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/maninmirror.jpg.webp 568w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/maninmirror-142x300.jpg.webp 142w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/maninmirror-488x1030.jpg.webp 488w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/maninmirror-334x705.jpg.webp 334w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /> Holistic Therapies That Help Manage Stress Holistic therapy self-care for stress actions is now often found in the treatment plan for anxiety. This is because these activities can help improve the treatment outcome. They do this by teaching patients ways to achieve a relaxed state of being. For instance, some of these include: Yoga. Mindfulness. Deep breathing Acupuncture. Massage therapy. Equine therapy. Art therapy Elevation Behavioral Health Provides Expert Treatment for Anxiety  Elevation Behavioral Health is an upscale residential mental health treatment center in Los Angeles. If you feel like anxiety makes you feel like you’re losing your mind, our caring team of experts can help. It is time to seek the treatment you deserve to regain your quality of life. When your outpatient treatment is not giving the results you desire, consider a residential program. Treatment is much more focused, and the home-like setting gives you a chance to heal. Take a break from the stressors or triggers in your daily life. Enjoy our upscale private home and gorgeous setting. Our team will help guide you back to health and wellbeing. For questions about our program, reach out to us today at (888) 561-0868. November 22, 2020/by Elevation Behavioral HealthTags: am i losing my mind, feel like im losing my mind, help im losing my mind, i feel like i am losing my mind, i think im losing my mind, losing my mind, losing your mindShare this entryShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on PinterestShare on LinkedInShare on TumblrShare on VkShare on RedditShare by Mail https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/anxiety-makes-me-feel-like-i-am-losing-my-mind.jpg 366 550 Elevation Behavioral Health https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/logo_ebh.png Elevation Behavioral Health2020-11-22 01:00:132022-07-08 16:31:14Anxiety Makes Me Feel Like I am Losing My Mind

"Respondents across all countries were worried about climate change (59% were very or extremely worried and 84% were at least moderately worried). More than 50% reported each of the following emotions: sad, anxious, angry, powerless, helpless, and guilty. More than 45% of respondents said their feelings about climate change negatively affected their daily life and functioning, and many reported a high number of negative thoughts about climate change (eg, 75% said that they think the future is frightening and 83% said that they think people have failed to take care of the planet).

I'am stressed about relearning every thing about the antinet zettlekasten...

Selon le psychologue Pierre-Eric Sutter, spécialiste de l’éco-anxiété et coauteur de N’ayez pas peur du collapse, de plus en plus de patients font appel à ses soins.

Peter’s dilemma brought to my mind a term that has been used, in recent years, to describe the modern Internet user’s feeling that she must constantly contend with machine estimations of her desires: algorithmic anxiety. Besieged by automated recommendations, we are left to guess exactly how they are influencing us, feeling in some moments misperceived or misled and in other moments clocked with eerie precision. At times, the computer sometimes seems more in control of our choices than we are.

. I thinkit’s often an issue for people when they first become note-makers: an anxiety about getting the “right” stuff out ofa book, or even “all the stuff”. I don’t think this iscompletely possible, and I think it’s increasingly lesspossible, the better the book.

Maybe it’s time we talk about it?

feelings of gloom, and serious bouts of anxiety and depression, are common and becoming more serious.

Elevation Behavioral Health Accepting New Clients: Information on Coronavirus (COVID-19) and How to Protect Yourself WE CAN HELP, CALL NOW (888) 561-0868 <img src="https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/logo_ebh.png.webp" height="100" width="300" alt='Elevation Behavioral Health' title='' /> Menu Menu Home About Our Team Mental Health Programs Residential Treatment Outpatient Treatment Transitional Living Conditions Treated Depressive Disorders Mood Disorders Personality Disorders Psychotic Disorders Self Harm Disorders Anxiety Disorders Attention Deficit Disorder Trauma Disorders Suicidal Ideation Dual Diagnosis Tour Our Homes Primary Substance Abuse Residential Primary Mental Health Residential Westlake Agoura Hills Admissions Contact Verify Insurance Blog Menu Menu What to Do When You Have Anxiety About Going to WorkAnxiety, Mental Health, Therapy <img width="845" height="321" src="https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Anxiety-about-going-to-work-845x321.jpg.webp" class="attachment-entry_with_sidebar size-entry_with_sidebar wp-post-image" alt="Anxiety about going to work" /> Table of Contents Why Do I Get Anxiety About Going To Work?About Workplace PhobiaWork PhobiaWhat Causes Workplace Phobia or Workplace-related Anxiety?How to Treat Workplace PhobiaElevation Behavioral Health Treats Workplace Phobia and Workplace-related Anxiety Why Do I Get Anxiety About Going To Work? The feelings of anxiety do not begin with the morning alarm bell. Nope, the anxiety about going to work is felt throughout the night with fitful, restless sleep. The mere idea of entering the workplace triggers waves of stress that threaten to undermine any effort to be productive and engaged at work, and often result in calling out sick. Workplace phobia, according to a definition published in Psychology, Health & Medicine, is defined as “a phobic anxiety reaction with symptoms of panic occurring when thinking of or approaching the workplace.” Considering the serious consequences of having anxiety about going to work, this particular phobia can be particularly devastating to not only one’s professional life but their personal life as well. Being unable to keep a job due to this type of phobia can have far-reaching and deleterious consequences. This specific source of this type of anxiety has often been lumped in with various other disorders. These include obsessive-compulsive disorder, social phobia, specific phobia, and generalized anxiety disorder. This fear work is due to the features of workplace phobia disorder, which can be recognized in these other forms of anxiety disorder. Finding a remedy is critical, and will likely involve a combination of therapies to help the individual overcome the dread and fear of going to work. <img class="aligncenter wp-image-30059 size-large" src="https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/anxiety-about-going-to-work-everyday-1030x783.jpg.webp" alt="anxiety about going to work everyday" width="1030" height="783" srcset="https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/anxiety-about-going-to-work-everyday-1030x783.jpg.webp 1030w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/anxiety-about-going-to-work-everyday-300x228.jpg.webp 300w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/anxiety-about-going-to-work-everyday-768x584.jpg.webp 768w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/anxiety-about-going-to-work-everyday-1536x1168.jpg.webp 1536w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/anxiety-about-going-to-work-everyday-1500x1141.jpg.webp 1500w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/anxiety-about-going-to-work-everyday-705x536.jpg.webp 705w,https://elevationbehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/anxiety-about-going-to-work-everyday.jpg.webp 1620w" sizes="(max-width: 1030px) 100vw, 1030px" /> About Workplace Phobia Individuals who have anxiety about going to work may exhibit a higher level of psychosomatic symptoms. These are the physical symptoms that can accompany a mental health condition, including gastrointestinal distress, migraines, pain, headaches, and fatigue, and often result in excessive absenteeism due to sick days. In fact, one 2014 study published in the Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine found that 10% of patients with chronic mental health conditions who sought sick leave authorizations for their physical symptoms suffered from workplace phobia. Identifying workplace phobia is essential in turning the ship around and overcoming a disorder that is negatively impacting the quality of life. Employers also benefit from gaining an understanding of this type of anxiety, as loss of productivity related to paid sick days, having to hire temporary workers, and the impact on fellow coworkers are added costs to the business. Work Phobia Intense irrational fear emerges when the individual thinks about or attempts to go to work. The triggering stimuli, such as encountering the supervisor or colleague, can cause symptoms like those of a specific phobia, such as: We Can Help! Call Now! (888) 561-0868 Sweating Hot flashes, chills Trembling Choking sensation Inability to face the trigger (enter the workplace) Chest pain, tightness Dry mouth Ringing in the ears Intensive fear when approaching or considering the workplace Shortness of breath A sensation of butterflies in the stomach Mental confusion, disorientation Rapid heart rate Nausea Headaches Reduction of symptoms when leaving or avoiding the workplace When exposed to the workplace trigger, the symptoms are so uncomfortable and frightening that the anxiety about going to work can result in avoidance behaviors, thus the high rates of sick leave. According to an article published in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders, There are several subtypes of work phobic, including: Work-related anxiety Work-related panic Work-related social phobia Work-related phobia Work-related generalized anxiety Work-related PTSD What Causes Workplace Phobia or Workplace-related Anxiety? Workplace phobia also referred to as can have various causal factors. Aside from the existence of a disorder such as social anxiety, which can feature workplace anxiety or phobia features, other risk factors might include: Having had a prior work-related experience that was traumatic, such as sexual harassment or bullying Performance-based fears Fear of required oral presentations Ongoing interpersonal issues and conflicts with a superior Family history of social anxiety or phobia Multiple traumas or significant negative life events lead to coping or stress-management issues at work How to Treat Workplace Phobia Treating work-related anxiety will revolve around changing the thought distortions that lead to avoidant behaviors or panic symptoms. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy that helps patients identify the dysfunctional thought-behavior patterns and guide them toward reframing thoughts to eventually be able to cope when confronting the work-related trigger. Combining CBT with exposure therapies that help desensitize the patient to the triggering event or situation can yield positive results. Medication also plays a role in the treatment of workplace phobia or anxiety. Drugs that reduce anxiety, such as benzodiazepines or beta-blockers, may help improve the individual’s ability to function in the workplace once again. Certain holistic strategies can assist in the reduction of stress or anxiety symptoms. These might include yoga, guided meditation, deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, getting regular exercise, and reducing caffeine intake. Elevation Behavioral Health Treats Workplace Phobia and Workplace-related Anxiety Elevation Behavioral Health is a luxury residential mental health program located in Los Angeles, California. The team at Elevation has crafted a highly effective treatment protocol for treating workplace phobia or anxiety, using an integrative approach. This includes evidence-based therapies, such as cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure therapy, adjunctive therapies, such as EMDR, and holistic therapies that provide additional coping skills through mindfulness training and meditation. For more information about our program, please contact Elevation Behavioral Health today at (888) 561-0868. June 26, 2020/0 Comments/by Elevation Behavioral HealthTags: anxiety, Anxiety about going to work, anxiety before work, anxiety going to work, fear of going to work, fear of work, going to work, phobia, work, work phobiaShare this entryShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on PinterestShare on LinkedInShare on TumblrShare on VkShare on RedditShare by Mail

Kang, T. S., & Goodwin, R. (2022, January 31). Legal restrictions and mitigation strategies amongst a disabled population during COVID-19. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/8daew

Une énorme charge de travail pour les étudiants n’est pas un indicateur de rigueur.

The lower the level of selenium in the diet the more reports of anxiety, depression, and tiredness, decreased following 5 weeks of selenium therapy.

Rodolfo: I'm a victim of sexual abuse in the United States and there was a police report made and everything. And I've also been a victim of gang violence. I was never, you can check my background and everything. I was never into gangs or anything, but around the area I lived in there was a bunch of gangs and... I was beat up two or three times bad just by walking home. And it was all documented, I had police reports and everything. And because of that I was in therapy for while. My mother sought out a help from a psychiatrist because of the sexual abuse I had as a child in California, as a matter of fact.Rodolfo: I took Risperdal and a Ritalin, Risperdal for the anxiety and the Ritalin and for the ADHD. So, we tried everything. The mental health side, the mental health asylum, everything. But it was just going to take longer and longer and longer and I was tired of it. I didn't want to be locked up anymore. So, finally I just told my mom, “You know what man, that's it, I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore.” She asked me, “Is this what you want to do?” And I told her, “Yeah.”Rodolfo: She told me, “You know what? I'd much rather see you over there and be free then not being able to see you here at all.” Because there was a lot of people that went to go visit their loved ones and they used to get picked up. Sometimes they wouldn't even let you see your loved ones and right away ask you for your identification, your social security card, your nationality and everything and they would get picked up.Rodolfo: And I always told my mom, “Don't ever come visit me. Don't ever come visit me because if you do, chances are they're going to take you too.” And you know, that would always break my heart because I would want to see my mom. I'd want to see my dad and everything, but I wasn't able to. So, that experience was just horrible.Sergio: When you were in the detention center what were the conditions? Did you have access the medicine you needed? Did you have access to food and water?Rodolfo: The company that made the jail was called GEO Corp and they were actually, I'm not going to lie to you, they actually were pretty good, health-wise, not so much security-wise. A lot of things would happen in there that definitely shouldn't have ever happened. But with the food and everything, it was good. In my opinion it was because of the company. I feel as though if it was up to the government... Thank God it was an independent company that was hired by DHS as opposed to if DHS were to make their own jail, I feel they would be completely different.Rodolfo: It was [Pause] a pleasantly... there's no way to describe it, it was bad. It was bad, but for what it was I guess it was okay. I don't see there being an in-between or any pretty way to paint that picture as to how good or bad it was in there. Because at the end of the day you're deprived of your freedom. You can't just pick up the phone whenever you want and call your loved ones because you've got to pay for that too. You got pay for that. And if you want to take a shower, you have to buy your soap, right? You've got to buy it yourself, you've got to buy everything. And now you're becoming a liability for your family, you're becoming another bill.Rodolfo: You're becoming another bill and that's what I didn't want. So, that's why I started working. And now, older, I'm becoming another bill. So, I don't get it. You're taking us away from the jobs that we have and everything. You know? So, take us back to our country. And I'm not sure if it this is a fact or not, but I was reading when I first got in here, there was a time where there wasn't enough field workers for, I think, avocado—or, not avocado, I think it was oranges or something like that.Rodolfo: And I remember me saying, “Well, there goes all the deportees. There goes all the people you guys deported. Where are the people that were so outraged because we took your jobs? Go ahead, there you go. There are a lot of vacancies, making these open for those jobs, go ahead, man. All yours buddy, knock yourself out.”Rodolfo: But nobody wants to work those jobs, right? You see what I'm saying though, right?

Sergio: Why did your family migrate to the US?Rodolfo: The reason why my family moved to the US was because both my grandfather and my biological fathers struggled with addiction, with alcoholism and drug abuse. They were just not very... Mostly my biological father, he really wasn't always there, and he was always very violent towards my mother. My mother had me when she was 14 years old. When she got pregnant everybody decided well, okay, she messed up. She is this, that, like very, very taboo. She wasn't really accepted in the family anymore. It wasn't so much my family and I moving to the US, it was just my mother and I when she was 16 and I was two and a half years old. They weren't really interested in what was going on with me or my mother. She just wanted a better quality of life for her and for myself.Rodolfo: In Mexico at 16 years old, with no type of education past probably middle school, she knew she wasn't gonna get very far. I guess she made that decision in order to have a better quality of life for her and myself, she went on. She was 16, and I don't know how she did it. I don't know the details and all that, but she met the right people, or she got in contact with the right people, and she went over there. She went to the United States. To this day, I still remember a lot of the things, even though I was very, very young. It's something that I always tell everybody that I meet, it's not just for this interview.Rodolfo: I always remember the bad things that happened or the very... I don't know if it's because it had such a big impact in my life and my mother's life or just because of how everything was set up. I remember everything that happened from start to finish. From the beginning where we got picked up, to being in the desert. I still remember eating cereal with water. It was... I don't know, it was very, very... I feel like it was... it obviously had an impact psychologically, because I still just have a lot of anxiety when I'm in certain places that I'm really accustomed to. A two, three year old in the middle of the desert, it definitely had to have an impact on me.Sergio: How old were you when that happened?Rodolfo: I was two and a half years old, so that's why I'm saying it's very odd for me to be able to remember that at a very, very young age. It wasn't only that, just even when I was here, when I was two, two and a half, I used to remember asking my mom certain memories that I had. She would say, "Oh you were one year old, one and a half years old, how did you remember that?" It was always very, like a violent, violent memory that I had. It was more so like my father being drunk or high or whatever and coming in the house. Taking any little money my mom made for the week, in order for him to keep on doing what he was doing. Just coming in and just tearing up the place.

Isabel: So definitely…When I asked you the question, Do you fear the US authorities, that was a dominant part of your childhood?Angelo: Most definitely. Going to the United States from Mexico my dad still had a drinking problem so there was a few times where authorities had to be called. And many of those times, it was basically the road was ending because my dad was going to get deported and we were going to be left alone. It was basically family running around crying. I saw that many times. So, whenever I started getting to the age of into peer pressuring or I would have a friend that said, "Let's go do this," I'll be, "No, I'm going to get in trouble." Or, "No, I'm going to get deported, I'm not from here." And even in school, that was a major discrimination because we had Chicanos—which would be Hispanics that grew up in the United States, that were born there—and then we had the Wetbacks. And so that's what I was always considered. And even with Latinos, I was always discriminated, "Oh I have papers, you don't have papers, you're a Wetback." And so that was very, very, very difficult for me.

You can't let them know, so they don't really know you. It's a big part of it. You can't share the fear with anyone. You can't share this anxiety that you live with every single day. My mom was driving around and every time she'd drive, it was anxiety. I'd feel anxiety because what if she got pulled over? My mom—she’s an amazing driver—but what if she got pulled over? What if we got caught? That's it for everyone. We're done. That kind of thing affects you and you're not allowed to tell anyone. You have to live in the shadows. Nobody really knows.