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  1. Apr 2022
  2. Mar 2022
    1. what’s also evident is what he didn’t seem to get: appropriate attachment—the strong and requisite bond between a parent and a child that leads to a healthy life and without which children can die or be damaged.

      We create monsters, large and small through the neglect of the child's needs. We continuously create them and new, large scale events like wars create the next generation.

  3. Aug 2021
  4. Jun 2021
  5. May 2021
  6. Mar 2021
  7. Oct 2020
    1. No, it was too difficult. “I’ll—I’ll go with them, and write to William later. Some other time. Later. Not now. But I shall certainly write,” thought Isabel hurriedly.

      Once again we see themes of neglect, and of becoming ones own person. The ambiguity of Mansfield's stories, leave us to our own subjective interpretations. This is the kind of writing that I love, because it challenges our own sensibilities, forcing the reader into making up their own minds, without anymore meaningful a measure for right or wrong, than the readers own life experience. In this way her stories successfully imitate real life. We go around imperfect machines, interpreting life through a murky lens, with feelings that are complicated, dull, sharp, definite... I know this story is a sad one. I feel sad for William, but I'm not sure I should.

  8. Sep 2020
  9. Aug 2020
    1. Immune neglect describes another failure of affective fore-casting, specifically around predicting our ability to cope with adverse outcomes.

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  10. Jun 2020
  11. Jan 2020
  12. Jun 2019
    1. Internalization of anger can cause heart problems. As the Levenson study above shows, holding in your anger takes a toll on your heart. If you grow up in a household that is intolerant of your anger, ignores your anger, or fails to name, discuss or validate the reasons for your anger, you learn only one way to deal with it: wall it off. This may allow you to cope as a child, but it can harm your heart. Sensitivity to stress can cause back problems or headaches. What makes you sensitive to stress? Not dealing with your feelings. When you wall off your fear, your insecurity, your uncertainty, your anger, sadness, or hurt, those feelings do not go away. They simply pool together on the other side of the wall, waiting for something to touch them off. Then, when it happens, they all surge at you, making you feel overwhelmed and stressed. So going through your life with your feelings blocked makes you more sensitive to stress. Lack of self-awareness makes you vulnerable to poor habits. Families who don’t notice what their child is feeling miss getting to know their child on a deeply personal level. So they sadly remain unaware of who their child really is. I have seen, over decades of treating Childhood Emotional Neglect, that if your parents don’t see you, you do not learn that you are worth looking at. You grow up to be unaware of your own needs, and deep down you don’t realize that your needs even matter. You then are vulnerable to eating or sleeping too much or too little, drinking too much, or engaging in other behaviors that can harm your health. 3 Steps to Stop Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) From Harming Your Health Start paying attention to your feelings as you go through your day. Learn more emotion words and make an effort to use them, including naming your own feelings see the book Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect for an exhaustive list of feeling words). As you do steps 1 and 2 you will start to feel more. Now it is time to begin to actively take charge of your feelings. Work on learning the emotion s

      IT should also be stressed that family dysfunction is highly variable and study correlations should never be construed as simple cause and effect. None of it is that simple--especially when it comes to dysfunctional family dynamics.Serious abusers for instance are expert liars (lest outsiders shine light on their true nature), and many come to clinic with stress related complaints about their own childhood experiences. Therapists and other healers must keep that in mind, and not fall to the flattery of 'so-and-so' is so good and helped me so much," while concealing and denying ongoing abuse they may be passing on--some in frank denial--on to their own families and to their own children.