Hopefully with all of the different works now on the market, the issues pertaining to marriage, divorce, and remarriage, will be- come clearer. When this happens, Chris- tians within the community will be better prepared to be supportive of those who have undergone the trauma of failure, whether they agree with the reasons for divorce and remarriage or not

Of vital importance in the success of these marriages is a loving, caring, supportive community of believers where true agape love (defined as “ desiring the highest good in the one loved even to the point of self- sacrifice” ) is evident. A church may, through such loving support, provide an atmosphere where success is more likely to be achieved

Flack (1978), Brown (1979), Adams (1980), Besson(1982) and Hocking (1983) all deal with the issues. They combine sensitivity to peoples’ needs with an awareness of human limita- tions, a knowledge of the effects of guilt, and a fear of failure which often accompany a second marriage. Their counsel is helpful and contains numerous insights into the plight, hopes and problems of those who seek happiness “the second time around.”

Books for those entering into a second relationship are plentiful.

Remarriage, Hocking (1983) believes, should not take place without every effort being exercised to bring about a reconcilia- tion with the former spouse. In other words, where severe problems exist, separation is preferable to divorce and reconciliation is preferable to remarriage. There is always the chance that isolation will bring the recalcitrant, hard-hearted person to a place of repentance (Proverbs 18:2; 23:9; 26:4-11; 27:22). If this happens, then reconciliation is a possibility

Hocking (1983) discusses the conditions under which a person may remarry. These, as might be expected, compare favorably with those of Swindoll (1980) and Stott (1978) discussed above. Even more percep- tive are his reasons for not remarrying: For example, (a) if past problems have neither been corrected nor resolved; (b) if the individual does not have a clear conscience about doing so; and (c) if one does not really have a strong desire to enter into a second marriage (pp. 29-34)

But there were many who misunderstood the fiine- tion of Law. Paul says in Romans that Law was in- tended to speak so clearly to man’s failure that “ every mouth may be stopped, and the whole world may be held accountable to God. For no human being will be justified in his sight by works of the law, since through the law comes knowledge of sin” (3:19-20, RSV). This function of Law was missed by those like the Pharisees who attempted to use Law for self-justification, and who perceived Law as the highest possible moral stan- dard. But this is just the point that Jesus makes in Matthew 19 and that he has also made in Matthew 5! Law is not the highest possible moral standard! Law is in fact a reduced standard! God’s ideal is for a human- ity which so bears his likeness that anger and lust are eradicated. Law sets up standards that deal with the results of those inner passions—murder and adultery. God's ideal is for a humanity in which marriage is a perfect oneness state. Law, in recognition of the impact of sin on human relationships, actually permits divorce and remarriage! God in Law showed himself willing to accommodate his ideals to the reality of our tragic human condition. And this is grace

Men would sin, but the Law made provision for a covering sacrifice for sin until the ultimate offering might be made by Christ (Rom. 3:24-26). Thus grace, and faith expressed in the bringing of the sacrifice, operated under Law as well as in our New Covenant age

Under Law there was consistent failure . . . but there was also provision.

In Galatians Paul argues that Israel’s relationship with God was always based on grace and promise. The Abrahamic Covenant was made some 400 years before Law was given! Whatever Law did, it could not invali- date the promise, or replace promise as a foundation for God/man relationships (Gal. 3:17). Under and through it all there must be grace

It is very helpful to us here to bring a grace perspec- tive into our thinking on this passage [Matthew 19:3- 12], for this passage is one of the most significant in helping us understand how grace operated in Old Tes- tament times

The minister has a complex task.. He is a preacher, teacher, counsellor, and pastor. Part of his work is to perform marriages. In doing this he is often asked to perform marriages where one or both parties are divorcees. He needs to decide then wh

Richards (1981) also emphasizes the importance of grace in healing old wounds, accepting the sufferer into the church and, where there are biblical grounds for divorce, supporting the new couple so that they will feel loved and accepted by their fellow be- lievers.

Where remarriage is concerned, some writers (Small, 1975; Plekker, 1980) have taken a bold step and grounded their counsel in the nature of God. Having dealt gra- ciously with an adulterer such as David (cf., Psalm 51), Plekker deals insightfully and persuasively with the manner in which true repentance may be distinguished from shal- low conformity and, where it is present, be- lieves remarriage is permissible.

Such an expediency, while widely prac- ticed within the Roman Catholic church to- day, takes authority from the Scriptures and places it in the hands of priests. Reliance is upon canon law and those who interpret it do so in light of changing social mores.

A plethora of books has recently been is- sued describing the process whereby a church may set up a tribunal to hear the case of a divorced person who desires to marry again.

Anita: Let’s begin by you telling me a little bit about migrating to the United States.Luisa: Migrating to the United States: okay. My parents had an extremely bad divorce - very, very, very bad divorce. My dad's family is on the wealthier side and a little bit on the powerful side, and my mom has no money nor connections, and she's poor. When they were divorcing, by the end of their marriage—I think it was the most awful marriage that I've seen—he was threatening her with taking us away and completely … you know she would never see us ever, so like a thief in the night, she grabbed my two sisters and I and she moved us to the States.

My dad's family is on the wealthier side and a little bit on the powerful side, and my mom has no money nor connections, and she's poor. When they were divorcing, by the end of their marriage—I think it was the most awful marriage that I've seen—he was threatening her with taking us away and completely …

What a weight!

custody of children to the husband.

he regretted his multiple marriages and had forbidden his sons to take more than one wife. He is also educating his daughters.