30 Matching Annotations
  1. Apr 2019
    1. If a mother cannot meet her baby’s impulses and needs, “the baby learns to become the mother’s idea of what the baby is.” Having to discount its inner sensations, and trying to adjust to its caregiver’s needs, means the child perceives that “something is wrong” with the way it is. Children who lack physical attunement are vulnerable to shutting down the direct feedback from their bodies, the seat of pleasure, purpose, and direction. […] The need for attachment never lessens. Most human beings simply cannot tolerate being disengaged from others for any length of time. People who cannot connect through work, friendships, or family usually find other ways of bonding, as through illnesses, lawsuits, or family feuds. Anything is preferable to that godforsaken sense of irrelevance and alienation.
    2. Securely attached kids learn the difference between situations they can control and situations where they need help. They learn that they can play an active role when faced with difficult situations. In contrast, children with histories of abuse and neglect learn that their terror, pleading, and crying do not register with their caregiver. Nothing they can do or say stops the beating or brings attention and help. In effect they’re being conditioned to give up when they face challenges later in life.
  2. Jan 2019
    1. Should a man wish to adorn himself with the ornaments of the earth, to wear its apparels, or partake of the benefits it can bestow, no harm can befall him, if he alloweth nothing whatever to intervene between him and God, for God hath ordained every good thing, whether created in the heavens or in the earth, for such of His servants as truly believe in Him.

      Definition of attachment.

      Also, if your actions are due to addiction but you're consciously trying to counter it (or even, if you don't have help in quitting, just disliking it), perhaps that's different from allowing something to "intervene between him and God".

  3. Oct 2018
    1. At the time, the young children’s father had been granted full custody of the children, and Lacey was only allowed to be with them under his supervision. She had been prevented from gaining custody over these children because in 2008 she was found to be taking care of them while using drugs.

      Al Lacey perder la custodia por su adicción, es muy probable que sus hijos pequeños hayan desarrollado una falta de apego a la madre que es quien usualmente provee la base segura para que el infante y el niño pueda "aventurarse a salir" y explorar los espacios y su ambiente. La falta de este proceso critico para aprender y desarrollarse como entidad propia puede causar baja autoestima que contribuye a que el adulto sea ansioso, necesitado e ineficaz.

  4. Aug 2018
    1. preferential attachment. In the eyes of the social sciences, however, understanding which of all of these hypotheses drives the formation of the network is what one needs to explore.

      For example what drives attachment of political candidates?

    2. Rediscoveries of this idea in the twentieth century include the work of (Simon 1955) (who did cite Yule), (Merton 1968), (Price 1976) (who studied citation networks), and (Barabási and Albert 1999), who published the modern reference for this model, which is now widely known as the Barabasi-Albert model.
    3. Preferential attachment is an idea advanced originally by the statisticians John Willis and Udny Yule in (Willis and Yule 1922), but has been rediscovered numerous times during the twentieth century.
    4. Preferential attachment is the idea that connectivity begets connectivity.
  5. Mar 2017
    1. I can work with you, these guys and not feel that I am selling myself, ourselves short. That feels like freedom.

      freedom values community

    2. This week Mia Zamora, surprised me by inviting me to join the facilitation team of Connected Courses. To say that I was taken aback by her email, and the ensuing one coming from Claudia would be an understatement, to put it mildly. We need recognition for our particularity. I was not expecting an Oscar from my peers. That's frankly how I felt.

      recognition community present disconnection...

    3. I am just listening to Terry Elliott talking in a solitary #clavpicnic after having spent lunch with a friend of mine

      attachment connection

    1. Half a life later, I am investigating those elements which connect us to the other, which enable us to journey a while with a fellow learner.

      What connects us? What is the story?

    2. There were no prospects of advancement mentioned. I had no choice. I had no means. The door of the flat had been ripped off by thieves, the possessions taken.

      Movement outwards...into box

    1. I am beginning to extend my circles of empathy, I am beginning to see that I am part of a much wider world.

      Reimagining connection.

    2. Time-planning I suppose I have to look up in the schedule to see when they are on.

      Priority of spending time with people/tv/class/conference

      Attachment. Planning. Engagement

    3. Click, Link, Embed. Whatever happened to the three guys. I am already missing their program.

      Identification

      What leads us to a page? What leads us to connect? What leads us to attachment?

    4. There was one of my best friends Blaise, in Cameroun who spent last Christmas with us.

      Attachment Friendship

    1. They trusted me!  

      trust

    2. I met Catherine Cronin, I think first in London and then again in Plymouth, I met Mary Anne Reilly, we spoke over dinner about Nomads, about Rhizomatic Learning. I felt connected. I felt that I could communicate, I felt nurtured. I was not al

      mentorship leaders community

      Herein lies the problem of confidence - that feeling of being an imposter (imposter syndrome) others have the possibility to connect - photos of people smiling in exotic places.

      Jealousy.

      Feeling of being part of something...but a part of what?

      Problem of recognition.

      Problem of being disheartened.

      Problem of barriers..

      Also that feeling of not wanting to be disconnected from local reality - not wanting to be a satellite.in heaven.

      Feeling of others being a cosy clique.

      Not wanting to play career games in academia.

    1. Constellation, was an image I picked up just now from Kevin Hodgson (@dogtrax)

      mentoring, connection attachment

    2. I only saw twinkle twinkle little stars, and that was enough.

      attachment, belonging

    3. With carefully trained eyes and an imported telescope by brother was able to recognize the constellations and point them out on his star map.

      Mentoring. Apprenticeship.

      Identification. Attachment.

      Zone of proximal development.

  6. Sep 2015
    1. First, children securely attached to their parents, compared to insecurely attached children, tend to be sympathetic to their peers as early as age three and a half, according to the research of Everett Waters, Judith Wippman, and Alan Sroufe. In contrast, researchers Mary Main and Carol George found that abusive parents who resort to physical violence have less empathetic children.
    1. parents who do not feel secure in relationships seem to be more susceptible to declines in their relationship with their spouse during the transition to parenthood. Though more research is also needed here, the researchers suggest that this marital decline could, in turn, lead to less happiness in parenthood.
    1. It’s important to keep in mind as well that secure attachment in intimate relationships doesn’t just make those relationships more fulfilling; there’s evidence that it can enhance interactions even with those with whom you’re not close. Research indicates that “boosting” one’s security in any fashion (“security priming” in psychology circles) makes people more generous and compassionate overall. This study by leading attachment researchers indicates that “the sense of attachment security, whether established in a person’s long-term relationship history or nudged upwards by subliminal or supraliminal priming, makes altruistic caregiving more likely.”
    2. People in the study who felt securely attached to their parents seemed more soothed in a stressful situation when their partner provided emotional care, such as by being nurturing, expressing emotional intimacy, or encouraging them to talk about their emotions or experiences relevant to the problem. However, people with a dismissive/avoidant attachment style were more soothed when their partner offered "instrumental" caregiving, meaning that they gave specific, concrete advice or suggestions about how to solve the problem, or discussed the problem in an intellectual, rational way.
    3. They have found that when people with an anxious attachment style have a romantic partner who consistently seems committed to them, they feel less anxious and insecure. "Highly committed partners, in other words, may diminish an individual's insecurity over time by consistently providing a 'secure base,'" write Simpson and his colleague SiSi Tran of Vassar College.
    4. For instance, insecurely attached people generally display less kind, helpful (or "pro-social") behavior toward others. But when Mikulincer and Shaver had insecurely attached people think of someone who made them feel safe and secure, those research participants demonstrated more care and compassion toward people in need.
  7. May 2015
    1. Other attachments matter for rhetoric

      I wonder about the relationship between "attachment" and sensation. Could one become attached without sensing the attachment? And is attachment rhetorical: is it like a language, even if it is not (only) epistemic?

  8. May 2014
    1. The little-discussed fact is that it’s super uncomfortable to be loved when the feeling is not mutual (see my song Please). So uncomfortable, in fact, that many of us would rather act like callous, cold-hearted assholes than be in the same room as the person who loves us. We panic, we get distant, we deny any interest or care for the other person, we stop returning their texts. But that’s not an aversion to love, or to the lover; it’s the attachment and expectation being hurled in our direction with such intensity.

      What is attachment? Why would we ever prefer people to be detached? So what if someone is attached? Can't we resolve to fail to satisfy their wants without feeling guilty, rather than request that they temper their wants or somehow remain cool and detached from them?