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  1. Last 7 days
    1. Kamatera is a very good option to run a mail server because They don’t block port 25, so you can send unlimited emails (transactional email and newsletters) without spending money on SMTP relay service. Kamatera doesn’t have any SMTP limits. You can send a million emails per day. The IP address isn’t on any email blacklist. (At least this is true in my case. I chose the Dallas data center.) You definitely don’t want to be listed on the dreaded Microsoft Outlook IP blacklist or the spamrats blacklist. Some blacklists block an entire IP range and you have no way to delist your IP address from this kind of blacklist. You can edit PTR record to improve email deliverability. They allow you to send newsletters to your email subscribers with no hourly limits or daily limits, whatsoever. You can order multiple IP addresses for a single server. This is very useful for folks who need to send a large volume of emails. You can spread email traffic on multiple IP addresses to achieve better email deliverability.
    1. Modoboa is an alternative to those 3 options. It frees you from dependence on email providers and makes accessible to all the creation his own secure email server.
    1. Self-hosting is when you---either using a computer on your local network at home or a remote "bare metal" server host you've purchased---host your own services for various purposes.
    1. 1:18:00 goosebumps, using media as inspiration and self-discovery, using as visualisation

      1:20:00 Goggins listening to one song for 17 hours “going to distance”

    2. 44:00 continuous self-discovery (constant war), “this is life”, “life is not a movie”

    3. 37:00 going to war with self

      • see zk notes on self-discovery & finding meaning in darkness
  2. Sep 2023
    1. the Bodhisattva vow can be seen as a method for control that is in alignment with, and informed by, the understanding that singular and enduring control agents do not actually exist. To see that, it is useful to consider what it might be like to have the freedom to control what thought one had next.
      • for: quote, quote - Michael Levin, quote - self as control agent, self - control agent, example, example - control agent - imperfection, spontaneous thought, spontaneous action, creativity - spontaneity
      • quote: Michael Levin

        • the Bodhisattva vow can be seen as a method for control that is in alignment with, and informed by, the understanding that singular and enduring control agents do not actually exist.
      • comment

        • adjacency between
          • nondual awareness
          • self-construct
          • self is illusion
          • singular, solid, enduring control agent
        • adjacency statement
          • nondual awareness is the deep insight that there is no solid, singular, enduring control agent.
          • creativity is unpredictable and spontaneous and would not be possible if there were perfect control
      • example - control agent - imperfection: start - the unpredictability of the realtime emergence of our next exact thought or action is a good example of this
      • example - control agent - imperfection: end

      • triggered insight: not only are thoughts and actions random, but dreams as well

        • I dreamt the night after this about something related to this paper (cannot remember what it is now!)
        • Obviously, I had no clue the idea in this paper would end up exactly as it did in next night's dream!
      • for: bio-buddhism, buddhism - AI, care as the driver of intelligence, Michael Levin, Thomas Doctor, Olaf Witkowski, Elizaveta Solomonova, Bill Duane, care drive, care light cone, multiscale competency architecture of life, nonduality, no-self, self - illusion, self - constructed, self - deconstruction, Bodhisattva vow
      • title: Biology, Buddhism, and AI: Care as the Driver of Intelligence
      • author: Michael Levin, Thomas Doctor, Olaf Witkowski, Elizaveta Solomonova, Bill Duane, AI - ethics
      • date: May 16, 2022
      • source: https://www.mdpi.com/1099-4300/24/5/710/htm

      • summary

        • a trans-disciplinary attempt to develop a framework to deal with a diversity of emerging non-traditional intelligence from new bio-engineered species to AI based on the Buddhist conception of care and compassion for the other.
        • very thought-provoking and some of the explanations and comparisons to evolution actually help to cast a new light on old Buddhist ideas.
        • this is a trans-disciplinary paper synthesizing Buddhist concepts with evolutionary biology
    2. the ability to do so is associated with recognizing the facts of “no self” as discussed in the opening of this section. Accepting the Bodhisattva vow brings in this way the possibility of expanding intelligence in a steady fashion—free from hesitation, disappointment, fear, and other such factors that can now be seen to arise from misperceptions of the nature of the project.
      • for: self construct - misperceptions
      • in other words
        • if the self is no longer strongly reified, but experienced nakedly as a construction, then the misperceptions that are tethered to the solidification of self cannot survive, namely:
          • hesitation
          • fear
          • disappointment
          • attachment
          • etc...
    3. the Bodhisattva cognitive system is no longer constrained by the perception that one single self—i.e., its own self—requires special and sustained attention. Instead, Bodhisattva cognitive processes are now said to engage with spontaneous care for all apparent individuals. Thus, an immediate takeaway from non-dual insight is said to be the perception that oneself and all others are ultimately of the same identity.
      • for: bodhisattva's compassion, nondual compassion, non-dual compassion, compassion
      • insightful: bodhisattva's compassion
      • unpacking: bodhisattva's compassion
        • to understand what it is to experience the world free of (object, agent, action) triplet, it is necessary to understand what it means to experience the world from the (object, agent, action) perspective.
        • Buddhism's starting assumption is that experience from the (object, agent, action) perspective is the pathological but normative one.
        • It cannot be simply intellectual understanding, that is not enough for deep transformation. It must be quite deep, to the core of how we experience the world - as a seeming subject moving through a field of seeming objects.
        • This is accompanied by a feeling of alienation. The subject is separated from the field of objects.
        • David Loy has good insights on this subject of the mundane feeling of emptiness that accompanies our meaning crisis: https://jonudell.info/h/facet/?max=100&expanded=true&user=stopresetgo&exactTagSearch=true&any=david+loy
        • Of course if you are able to penetrate the illusory nature of your own self construct in a meaningful way, it also gives you insight into the other perceived selves outside of you. Even this sentence is paradoxical to say, since there is no inside / outside in a nondual realization that penetrates the self.
        • So then, it does make sense to value all aspects of reality, not just yourself and others, but treating it as one unbroken gestalt
        • The concept of poverty mentality is useful here, David Loy refers to this as the "Lack project": https://jonudell.info/h/facet/?max=100&expanded=true&user=stopresetgo&exactTagSearch=true&any=poverty+mentality
    4. According to the Bodhisattva model of intelligence, such deconstruction of the apparent foundations of cognition elicits a transformation of both the scope and acuity of the cognitive system that performs it.
      • for: deconstructing self, self - deconstruction, object agent action triplet, deconstructing cognition
      • comment
        • this is a necessary outcome of the self-reflective nature of human cognition.
        • English, and many other languages bake the (object, agent, action) triplet into its very structure, making it problematic to use language in the same way after the foundations of cognition have been so deconstructed.
        • Even though strictly speaking the self can be better interpreted as a psycho-social construct and an epiphenomena, it is still very compelling and practical in day-to-day living, including the use of languages which structurally embed the (object, agent, action) triplet.
    5. Self is an illusory modelling construct created by perceptual systems of Agents
      • for: definition, definition - self, compassion, science - compassion, self-illusion, self-illusory, nilhism
      • definition
        • Self is an illusory modelling construct created by perceptual systems of Agents
      • paraphrase

        • Self is an illusory modelling construct created by perceptual systems of Agents
        • Agents construct models of causal Selves for others, and for ourselves, using the same machinery.
        • The same mechanisms that cause an agent to act toward stress reduction in itself
          • (even though the beneficiary of those actions is in an important sense impermanent)
        • can be expanded to extend to other Selves.
        • In this way, while our focus is on understanding and formulating Self in a way that is applicable to a broad range of scientific contexts,
          • we also see ourselves as here contributing to the treatment of perennial issues in contemporary Buddhist philosophy
            • such as the feasibility of genuine care in a world without real individuals
      • comment

        • the last statement has always been a paradox for me
        • Buddhist teachers often warn of how mistaken, immature views of emptiness can lead to harmful action
          • Indeed, if no selves exist, then over can easily mistaken nilhism as the logical behavioural conclusion
          • yet, teaching texts make clear that there is something critical the student has missed it they come to that conclusion
        • the transformation is missing its most important element of that false conclusion persists
    6. According to general Buddhist analysis, the individual that may be assumed to exist as a singular, enduring, and controlling self is mere appearance devoid of causal efficacy, and thus epiphenomenal [68]. In the case of a Bodhisattva, this understanding is carried forward so as to encompass a critique of the apparent foundations of cognition: object, agent, and action.
      • for: emptiness, shunyata, non-existence of self, no-self, illusory self, deconstructing self
      • comment
        • this short description of the reasoning behind deconstructing the self is quite fresh and insightful, especially relating it to cognition.
    7. Another feature of this vision that aligns well with Buddhist ideas is the lack of a permanent, unique, unitary Self [68]. The picture given by the evolutionary cell-biological perspective is one where a cognitive agent is seen as a self-reinforcing process (the homeostatic loop), not a thing [69,70,71].
      • for: illusory self, non-self, lack of self, organism - as process, human INTERbeCOMing, bio-buddhism, biology - buddhism
    1. hypothesis is kind of easy to agree on after a couple deductive guesses so you 01:23:21 guys want to go through it and see if you're a simulation hypothesis that's what Elon Musk is all right first question to silently answer these do you think it's probable that our 01:23:36 descendants will have computational power that is vast compared to ours today presume the answer is probably [Music] 01:23:48 okay next question will that vast ability to simulate worlds result in any of them doing two or more High Fidelity or hyper realistic ancestor or origin 01:24:02 simulations that include fully realistic physics presume the answer is sure it's probably true that at least two out of countless trillions of our 01:24:15 descendants spread across every imaginable region of time and space will use their Advanced abilities to do origin simulations deducted conclusion in Elon musk's words 01:24:28 we're probably living in a simulation in my words it is more probable than not that we are in one of the simulated realities versus being so lucky we happen to be in the one real reality
      • for self-simulation hypothesis
      • comment
        • I agreed with a lot of what he said up to now. In fact, he does a rather good presentation summarizing the contemporary problems we face and emphasizing the acceleration of change in all human spheres, giving rise to our current polycrisis
        • I agree that the mythos of materialism needs to be seriously explored and other perspectives may give us new salient insights, but I don't think it's so obvious that the theory that we are living in a simulation.
          • and quantum gravity theory a highly abstract cultural artefact being used to prove that
        • is going to be the panacea to create a compelling new mythos..
        • If technology alone is insufficient as he earlier claimed, then quantum gravity theory, as part of the entangled STEMS nexus is part of that techno-complex that is insufficient.
        • This claim will have to be proven true by strong and compelling evidence that receives mass acceptance. Without that, it becomes an unjustified claim and the complexity of it will elude most people.
      • for: Deep Humanity to DH, Klee Irwin, Are we lining in a Simulation, The Self Simulation hypothesis
      • annotate
        • time 1:14 of interesting
      • comment
        • Klee Irwin is a controversial figure. His claims need to be interrogated quite critically.
        • His first doom and gloom section is accurate meta presentation, but his claims on advanced physics have been questioned by a number of critics.
    1. your your self isn't 01:13:47 some permanent uh monadic structure that just kind of exists it's an active construction it's a process it's a you know it it's a constant information processing Auto police is that you know 01:13:59 of the mind doesn't stop during embryogenesis it kind of keeps going it has to and um and and it has these it has these interesting implications
      • for: constructing selves, constructing self, reconstructing self
      • comment
        • this is a fascinating insight that gives us deeper nuance on what it means to construct our selves in every moment
        • we obviously know we don't have access to our past and only have access to engrams of the past , so it isn't wrong to say that we are constantly reconstructing ourselves like a Planaria worm does to regenerate its body, all the time.
        • engrams are abstract traces of the past
        • this goes to the heart of constructing the self, in the Buddhist sense, as a kind of illusion
        • Levin says he is somewhere in the middle between the two poles of illusion and solidity of self, the self is a pragmatic useful metaphor, like everything else we construct
    1. an overview of the paper
      • for: paper overview, paper overview - the computational boundary of a self
      • paper overview

        • motivated by 2018 Templeton Foundation conference to present idea on unconventional and diverse intelligence
        • Levin was interested in any conceivable type of cognitive system and was interested in find a way to universally characterize them all

          • how are they detected
          • how to understand them
          • how to relate to them and
          • how to create them
        • Levin had been thinking about this for years

        • Levin adopts a cybernetic definition of intelligence proposed by William James that focuses on the competency to reach a defined goal by different paths
        • Navigation plays a critical role in this defiinition.
    2. the computational boundary of a self
    1. Quantitatively, SPRING with GPT-4 outperforms all state-of-the-art RLbaselines, trained for 1M steps, without any training.

      Them's fighten' words!

      I haven't read it yet, but we're putting it on the list for this fall's reading group. Seriously, a strong result with a very strong implied claim. they are careful to say it's from their empirical results, very worth a look. I suspect that amount of implicit knowledge in the papers, text and DAG are helping to do this.

      The Big Question: is their comparison to RL baselines fair, are they being trained from scratch? What does a fair comparison of any from-scratch model (RL or supervised) mean when compared to an LLM approach (or any approach using a foundation model), when that model is not really from scratch.

    1. 1:41 identifying with a persona, consequence of society/expectations on oneself, & compromising the self

      Persona is fine, as long as you don’t “identify” with it

      • for: doppleganger, conflict resolution, deep humanity, common denominators, CHD, Douglas Rushkoff, Naomi Klein, Into the Mirror World, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories, conspiracy culture, nonduality, self-other, human interbeing, polycrisis, othering, storytelling, myth-making, social media amplifier -summary
        • This conversation was insightful on so many dimensions salient to the polycrisis humanity is moving through.
        • It makes me think of the old cliches:
          • "The more things change, the more they remain the same"
          • "What's old is new" ' "History repeats"
        • the conversation explores Naomi's latest book (as of this podcast), Into the Mirror World, in which Naomi adopts a different style of writing to explicate, articulate and give voice to
          • implicit and tacit discomforting ideas and feelings she experienced during covid and earlier, and
          • became a focal point through a personal comparative analysis with another female author and thought leader, Naomi Wolf,
            • a feminist writer who ended up being rejected by mainstream media and turned to right wing media.
        • The conversation explores the process of:
          • othering,
          • coopting and
          • abandoning
        • of ideas important for personal and social wellbeing.
        • and speaks to the need to identify what is going on and to reclaim those ideas for the sake of humanity
        • In this context, the doppleganger is the people who are mirror-like imiages of ourselves, but on the other side of polarized issues.
        • Charismatic leaders who are bad actors often are good at identifying the suffering of the masses, and coopt the ideas of good actors to serve their own ends of self-enrichment.
        • There are real world conspiracies that have caused significant societal harm, and still do,
        • however, when there ithere are phenomena which we have no direct sense experience of, the mixture of
          • a sense of helplessness,
          • anger emerging from injustice
        • a charismatic leader proposing a concrete, possible but explanatory theory
        • is a powerful story whose mythology can be reified by many people believing it
        • Another cliche springs to mind
          • A lie told a hundred times becomes a truth
          • hence the amplifying role of social media
        • When we think about where this phenomena manifests, we find it everywhere:
      • ego as illusion
      • not I, but we? (relate to concept of environments/ extending mind/extending self)
      • awareness to what is (all of our experience, surroundings, organisms)
      • body "I?" as part of a greater nature, Allah, and everything else (part of oneness we participate in)
      • ego as construct (things we tell ourselves, beliefs)
      • ego as illusion (are we a center of consciousness/energy? it causes opposition)
      • we are the body, as part of the natural environment
      • no self, as system (organs)
      • self as organism that goes together with other organisms/see extended mind as extended self, maybe different phrasing)
      • I as organism/environment, but ego as opposing it
      • confusing symbols with reality of the world itself (see Tolle on interpretation as removing from present)
      • caused by stories to ourselves, by others, looking at mirror/listening etc. "creating of image of self/mask" (persona), as a social institution (construct of self/ego), it is useful (helpful for navigation, but it is abstract)
      • hides of ourselves, entirely unconscious, to external world etc. (things that are essential to us, we don't perceive, bec of the ego)
      • sensations of "I" is false (cutting off your complete experience, all organisms, everything in ones awareness, not closed off)
      • forcing the mind/concentrate is thinking to ourselves (for example, how we ought to read thst difficult book)
      • distracting ourselves from reality
      • destroying environment as destroying the body
      • "you can't rid of it" (that is the ego, trying to get rid of the ego, a circle) answer: do nothing (ego asking the question)
      • you can't control anything, like thoughts, feelings, other organisms, they are as they are, so you don't do anything, you see, you feel, observe, you are not "you" , you as the whole world (and creator), as experience
      • misunderstanding nafs as misunderstanding quran
      • doctor doesn't use ego, but self
      • ego as ana? (not same?), ego as term by freud
      • how science and religion can be compatible (removing materialism)
      • key to world as in hands of man (self), thirtieth word
      • Nursi as using quranic definition of self and philosophical
      • Nursi studied himself, not attending medrese (at early life)
      • Nursi memorised 90 collections of books, reciting those books every 3 months, read quran in his early 40s
      • self/nafs 300 times in quran (& different meanings of self)
      • other component than self, directing you?
  3. Aug 2023
    1. (~14:00) The way to gain massive results is to have massive irrational goals complemented by small reasonable steps or milestones.

      Big goals motivate. Big goals give focus and clarity, they are a filter (see Dr. Benjamin Hardy's content); they allow for easy application of the power law.

    2. (~13:00) Koe argues for making information relevant (Dr. Sung always says you must make info relevant) through the learning for the solving of a particular problem, either for a client, your business, or your personal life. Your problem becomes the lense through which you learn.

      For self-education this is ideal.

      Dr. Sung's approach differs in that he advocates for the creation of relevancy through inquiry (the asking of relational questions) which is also incredibly powerful, however this is more suited to gaining more motivation for forced learning, i.e., in the formal education system.

      In addition, Koe's lense is, I think, more of a high-level filter, whereas Sung's questioning is applicable on the content level. Therefore, both approaches could be, and should be, combined into the same overall (self-)educational system.

    1. Ten minutes before sleep, do the following: PRAY

      It's a combination of visualization, commitment, and meditation

      Request the subconscious through this act of prayer.

      Also visualize the outcome and process of that which you aspire to do the following day, and even that which you want to achieve the following month(s). Thus, visualize the following: Big Picture, Milestones, and yourself the next day.

    2. In the morning, process your subconscious state by instead of immediately inputting, you start outputting!

      This can be done through journaling.

    3. Put the phone on airplane mode (in addition to blocking blue light) before sleep, for quite some time before sleep, in order to avoid (over)stimulation and the creation of dopamine which negatively impacts (falling a)sleep

    4. What is done right before and right after sleep sets the stage for literally everything.

      How you do anything is how you do everything.

    1. (~10:00) "The context determines the meaning of the content."

      Thus reframing is very powerful as you recontextualize the past, and therefore see it in a whole new light; the meaning of the past changed.

      By asking what you have learned from the past, you become anti-fragile and flexible, as you turn the past into something useful; an asset.

      "The past happens for us, not to us."

      "How you frame the past influences your expectations for the future."

      "You can't disconnect your view of the future from your experience in the present."

      "You can't have meaning in the present without hope & purpose in the future."

    2. One of the powerful things about journaling is that you can control the past; reframe it. What is the meaning of the past gets determined by both the present and the future.

      Hardy recommends to often (even daily) reflect on the past and notice how different you are now compared to then. What you have achieved, what is possible now that was not possible then, etc.

      What did I learn today?

    3. (~4:00) We interpret reality in a (cognitive) schema. Reality exists only in the mind. We cannot view reality objectively because it is intertwined with perception and cognition (see also John Boyd's OODA loop).

      Sidenote; because of this, time is also holistic; in our schema, the past, present, and future are basically all-existent at once.

    4. Watch this video for much interesting information about journaling.

      Journaling is all about agency

    1. I do want to point out one more really significant implication here which is how it affects our experience of time
      • for: the lack project, sense of lack, the reality project, sense of self, sense of self and lack, poverty mentality, sense of time, living in the future, living in the present, human DOing, human BEing
      • key insight
        • we construct different types of experiences of time, depending on the degree of sense of lack we experience
        • it means the difference between
          • living in the present
          • living in the future
      • paraphrase
        • it's the nature of lack projects insofar as we become preoccupied with them
        • that they tend to be future oriented naturally
        • I mean the whole idea of a lack project or a reality project is right here right now is not good enough
          • because I feel this sense of inadequacy this sense of lack
          • but in the future when I have what I think I need
            • when I'm rich enough or
            • when I'm famous enough or
            • my body is perfect enough or whatever
          • when I have all this then everything will be okay
          • and what of course that does is that future orientation traps Us in linear time in a way that tends to devalue the way we experience the world and ourselves in the world right here and now
          • it treats the now as a means to some better ends
          • Now isn't good enough
            • but when I have what I think I need everything is going to be just great
        • So many of the spiritual Traditions taught
        • especially the mystics and the Zen Masters
        • they end up talking about what is sometimes called
          • the Eternal now
          • or the Eternal present - a different way of experiencing the now
        • As long as the present is a means to some better end
          • this future when I'm gonna be okay
        • then the present is experienced as
          • a series of Nows that fall away
          • as we reach for that future
        • but if we're not actually needing to get somewhere that's better in the future
        • it's possible to experience the here and now
          • as lacking nothing and myself in the here and now
          • as lacking nothing
      • it's possible to experience the present as something that doesn't arise and doesn't fall away
    2. t the irony of course is that if this desire if this craving for money if this lack project and we could also call it reality project because another 00:13:08 way to talk about all this is to say that we don't feel real enough and we're looking for that which somehow will make us feel more real more complete more whole right 00:13:20 because whatever the lack project may be it is looking for out something outside that's going to secure this sense of self-insight the tragedy of the whole process of 00:13:32 course is that it doesn't matter how much money you earn it's never going to be enough because what we're dealing with is just a symptom and not the core problem
      • for: the lack project, the reality project, sense of lack, sense of self, poverty mentality, polylcrisis, polycrisis - root
      • paraphrase
        • the irony is that
          • if this desire
          • if this craving for money
          • if this lack project and
          • we could also call it reality project
            • because another way to talk about all this is to say that we don't feel real enough and we're looking for that which somehow will make us feel more real more complete more whole
        • because whatever the lack project may be it is looking for out something outside
          • that's going to secure this sense of self-inside
        • the tragedy of the whole process is that it doesn't matter how much money you earn
          • it's never going to be enough
          • because what we're dealing with is just a symptom and not the core problem
      • key insight
        • the lack project is at the root of our polycrisis
    3. if you ask about things like lack projects or reality projects on the individual level you know I was talking 00:32:01 about how the separation is a delusion it's uncomfortable we become preoccupied with trying to find something out here that'll fill up our sense of lack and you know we can Wonder is there 00:32:13 something comparable at the civilizational level and frankly I think that there is I think that it is our Collective preoccupation with progress
      • for: progress trap, sense of lack, the lack project, collective lack project, individual lack project
      • key insight
        • progress, and the shadow side, the progress trap
        • is the collective lack project, that corresponds to the individual's lack project
    4. there's 00:08:43 nothing there that could be secured and here's the important point I think we experienced that we experience it as a sense of lack 00:08:58 that is to say the sense that something is wrong with me something is missing something isn't quite right I'm not good enough and the reality is I think all of us to 00:09:14 some degree have some sense of that some sense of lack even though we might ignore it or cover it up there's there's some sense of that but because it's mostly sort of unconscious in the sense that we don't 00:09:29 really know where it comes from
      • for: sense of lack, sense of self, sense of self and sense of lack, human condition, poverty mentality, alienation, separation, emptiness, emptiness of emptiness, W2W, inequality
      • key insight
        • sense of self is equivalent to
          • sense of lack
          • duality
          • disconnection
          • alienation
          • separation
          • solidification - the opposite of emptiness
      • comment
        • this sense of lack that is intrinsically associated with the sense of self is perhaps the deepest root of our unhappiness
        • this is a key insight for sharing for both those who have too much (the 1%) as well as those who are so materially impoverished and deprived that they are forced to adopt survivalist strategies to stay alive, and if successful, take on a hard edge to survivalism, over-appreciating materialism
        • the same mistake is committed on both end of the disparity spectrum, both groups are still under the illusion that that sense of lack can be filled
    5. sense of self is a construct a psychological and social construct it's something it's not something that 00:06:42 infants are born with it's actually something that develops as we grow up our caregivers look into our eyes give us a name that we learned to identify with and also basically we learn to see 00:06:59 ourselves as they see us we inte
      • for: self, constructing reality, constructed self, constructed reality, constructing the sense of self, self and other, nonduality, duality, insecurable, comment, question

      • paraphrase

        • sense of self is a construct
        • a psychological and social construct
        • it's not something that infants are born with
          • it's actually something that develops as we grow up
        • our caregivers look into our eyes
          • give us a name that we learned to identify with and
          • also basically we learn to see ourselves as they see us
            • we internalize that which is why we are so preoccupied with what other people think about
          • we learned to use language in certain ways
            • mine
            • you
            • yours
            • his
            • hers and so forth
          • that's all very essential to it
        • so we could say that the sense of self is being a construct
        • it's composed of mostly habitual ways of
          • thinking
          • feeling
          • acting
          • reacting
          • remembering
          • planning and
          • tending
        • it's the way that these mostly habitual processes work together re-enforce each other
        • but does that give us insight into what the fundamental problem is?
      • I think it does and here's what it is as I understand it
        • because the sense of self is a construct
          • because it doesn't refer it
          • doesn't depend on it
          • doesn't point back to a real self that has any self-reality or or self-identity
      • this sense of self by virtue of its lack of essence is inherently uncomfortable

        • we can say it's basically inherently insecure
        • in fact it's not only insecure but it's insecurable
      • comment

      • question
        • I agree with David's analysis but also have a question for him:
          • what about the biological, evolutionary definition of the self of a living organism. Is there a contradiction here?
          • reference
            • Major Evolutionary Transitions occur when a group of individuated living organisms achieve greater fitness by mutualism and begin to reproduce together as a new unit
              • How do we harmonize the claim of a psychologically constructed self with this evolutionary formation of new biological SELF units through MET?
    1. Our real challenge, perhaps, is in relearning what the “collective interest” actually means, and why it is so important, and how we got to this perverse situation where we have such monstrous distrust of each other, and of collectives in general, that we have assumed that, somehow, 7.8B people acting in their isolated individual, personal, and often trauma-influenced self-interest, will somehow be synonymous with an optimal collective interest.
      • for: further inquiry, unpack, self-other entanglement, dual, nondual
      • paraphrase
        • Our real challenge, perhaps, is in relearning what the “collective interest” actually means,
        • and why it is so important,
        • and how we got to this perverse situation
          • where we have such monstrous distrust of each other,
          • and of collectives in general,
          • that we have assumed that, somehow, 7.8B people acting in their
            • isolated
            • individual,
            • personal, and often
            • trauma-influenced
          • self-interest,
          • will somehow be synonymous with an optimal collective interest.
      • comment
        • it points once again to a deeper understanding of the relationship between
          • self and
          • other
          • and their entanglement
  4. Jul 2023
    1. when you see that the rates of domestic abuse among police officers in the United States is higher than the general average in the public. So, you know, when you think about why that's happening, perhaps it's that the job is making them a bit more on edge or causing them to behave in certain ways. I think what's more likely is that people who are abusive 01:32:41 are disproportionately likely to seek out a job in which you can abuse people. Now, this is not to say that police officers are bad people, but it is to say that, for the slice of the population that is abusive, especially the people who like to wield power and carry a gun and terrorize people, for them, as one of the police officers in London told me who's in charge of recruitment for the Metropolitan Police, she said to me, "Look, if you're an abusive bigot, 01:33:06 policing is an attractive career choice. It doesn't mean that police officers are generally abusive bigots. It means that for that slice of the population, they like the idea of being able to professionally abuse people."
      • self-selection effect
        • example
          • police
            • it is likely that abusive, controlling people are on average, more attracted to being police officers because they can control and abuse others in that position
    2. Doraville, Georgia.
      • Example
        • self-selection effect
          • Doraville police department created a video of hyper-masculine SWAT team to attract new officers
          • they attracted hyper-masculine males
          • New Zealand took the opposite approach
          • We absolutely have to have oversight and very close scrutiny of police officers who abuse their authority.
          • But at the same time, we have to think more carefully about who ends up in the uniform to begin with.
    3. when we think about self-selection bias and survivorship bias in tandem, we have a really important understanding of how power actually operates
      • key observation
        • the dynamics and relationship between
          • self-selection bias and
          • survivorship bias
        • gives us insight of how power operates
        • The wrong kinds of people who are power-hungry, seek power more in the first place.
        • Then they're better at obtaining it.
        • They show up in our ordinary lives because they've survived,
          • they've made it.
        • So when we think about who is powerful,
          • we have to think about
            • the people who didn't seek power in the first place and
            • the people who didn't obtain power in the first place.
            • the people who didn't survive in power for very long, and therefore they dropped out.
          • The presidents and prime ministers,
          • the generals,
          • the cult leaders,
          • the business leaders,
        • those people are basically people who have survived and who self-selected.
    4. The same is true for power. People who are power-hungry, people who are psychopaths tend to self-select into positions of power more than the rest of us. And as a result, we have this skew, this bias in positions of power where certain types of people, often the wrong kinds of people, 00:14:51 are more likely to put themselves forward to rule over the rest of us
      • key observation
        • People who are power-hungry, people who are psychopaths
          • tend to self-select into positions of power more than the rest of us.
        • And as a result, we have this skew, this bias in positions of power
          • where certain types of people, often the wrong kinds of people,
          • are more likely to put themselves forward to rule over the rest of us
    5. self-selection effect
      • definition
        • self-selection effect
          • those people who are power-hungry and seek control are far more likely to seek positions of power in the first place, and are focused and develop skills to get it.
    1. Auto pilot questions for silencing thoughts - are my thoughts useful? - how do they behave?

      This kind of speaks to having awareness, and the ability to neutralise thoughts, using self-inquiry (not destroying thoughts, as Eckhardt Tolle does seem to suggest)

    2. Anthony doesn't want to destroy thinking, but, instead, wants to neutralise them. This means that he still has thoughts, like thoughts for intellectual thinking, or thoughts for planning, and so on, but, he wants to neutralise thoughts that seem excessive, not helpful (see questions) - also see comments made on Eckhardt Tolle in previous note - see Shi Heng Yi, and his 4 steps (the fourth one being self-inquiry), and the video on embracing suffering


      How specifically does the author define "The Great Conversation"?

      Note that it is consistently capitalized throughout the book to give it greater importance.

      • not learning oneself, self-master as self-discovery & self-awareness
      • spirituality as learning of oneself
      • enjoy time doing nothing, also find things you like to do
      • each person find way to climb the mountain (gaining clarity on top of mountain)
      • 5 hindrances as challenges to journey (state of mind, not having/getting clarity)
      • (1) sensual desire
      • 2 ill will (rejection, also see my ideas on madness) "let go"
      • 3 sloth (dullness of mind/body) lack if motivation/energy (see flow)
      • 4 restlessness (not being in present)
      • 5 sceptical doubt (being indecisive, getting lost in thoughts)
      • structure/design life to prevent hindrances from arising (see my way of life as making environments/practices to prevent?) "techniques to remove them"
      • (4 steps to prevent the hindrances)
      • 1 what is your state of mind
      • 2 accept the situation/someone/something to be they way it is/the way they are
      • 3 emotional & mental questioning (why did it come up? understanding it, what will happen if it remains?)
      • 4 non-identification (I am not my mind, my body, or my emotions, it is just that I am there to observe them all)
    1. Sometimes it means telling them something they knew unconsciously but had never put into words. In fact those may be the more valuable insights, because they tend to be more fundamental.

      The art of the "aha" moment.

  5. Jun 2023
    1. Platform engineering is trying to deliver the self-service tools teams want to consume to rapidly deploy all components of software. While it may sound like a TypeScript developer would feel more empowered by writing their infrastructure in TypeScript, the reality is that it’s a significant undertaking to learn to use these tools properly when all one wants to do is create or modify a few resources for their project. This is also a common source of technical debt and fragility. Most users will probably learn the minimal amount they need to in order to make progress in their project, and oftentimes this may not be the best solution for the longevity of a codebase. These tools are straddling an awkward line that is optimized for no-one. Traditional DevOps are not software engineers and software engineers are not DevOps. By making infrastructure a software engineering problem, it puts all parties in an unfamiliar position. I am not saying no-one is capable of using these tools well. The DevOps and software engineers I’ve worked with are more than capable. This is a matter of attention. If you look at what a DevOps engineer has to deal with day-in and day-out, the nuances of TypeScript or Go will take a backseat. And conversely, the nuances of, for example, a VPC will take a backseat to a software engineer delivering a new feature. The gap that the AWS CDK and Pulumi try to bridge is not optimized for anyone and this is how we get bugs, and more dangerously, security holes.
    1. I think we have a responsibility not only to ourselves, but also to each other, to our community, not to use Ruby only in the ways that are either implicitly or explicitly promoted to us, but to explore the fringes, and wrestle with new and experimental features and techniques, so that as many different perspectives as possible inform on the question of “is this good or not”.
    1. It is quite “normal,” and human, to not enjoy making mistakes! That is why we often feel embarrassed, deny their existence, and/or blame others for our errors. We believe that the best way is to admit your mistakes, learn from them and take corrective action. After all, a mistake is a mistake – no more, no less.

      some thoughts i have on this:

      • personally, i find that the biggest challenge on admitting mistakes is people defining you by a single mistake and constantly bringing it up in similar future situations. there is this fear of being stuck with this identity or perception from others and it can be quite daunting.

      i wonder if this is so because we often derive our understanding of ourselves through other people's perspectives. consequently, when they see us as failures in certain departments, we might easily adopt that belief too.

      this is in connection with the "spyglass self" where we view ourselves through others' eyes and shape and our identities accordingly.

      • a fascinating detail i noticed when faced with admitting a mistake is how we often shift the blame or focus onto others to avoid this uncomfortable and inconvenient situation. this behavior is interesting to me considering our pursuit of self-improvement and goodness. in these instances, empathy and compassion seem to vanish as self-preservation takes priority.

      this is a great instance in which we become trapped in our own thoughts, creating a dangerous bubble where only our well-being seem to matter. the contrast between this self-centered mindset and our usual desire for growth presents an interesting aspect of human nature.

  6. May 2023
    1. winnicott once said you know there's no such thing as a baby there's only a baby and someone
      • "gestation rewires your brain in fundamental ways um you it rewire it primes you for caretaking as a as a mother in a way which is far more visceral and far it's it's pre-rational it's it's immensely transformative experience and it's permanent you know once you've been rewired for mummy brain you'd never really go back um and that from the point of view of raising a child that matters um because when after a baby is born it's you know as winnicott once said you know there's no such thing as a baby there's only a baby and someone there's a a baby doesn't exist as an independent entity until it's some years some years into its life arguably quite a few years into its life um and what I would say about artificial wounds is that you may be you may think that what you're doing is creating a baby without the misery of gestation but what you're doing in practice is creating a baby without creating a mother because a pregnancy doesn't just create a baby it also creates a mother"

      • Comment

  7. Mar 2023
    1. it is a mental construct

      Good explanation of what self-consciousness attempts to do:

      Self-consciousness is not something obviously "self-existing" it is a fiction, - it is ungrounded because it is - a mental construct.

      Rather than being selfsufficient, - consciousness is like the surface of the sea: dependent on unknown depths ("conditions," as the Buddha called them) that it cannot grasp - because it is a manifestation of them.

      The problem arises because this conditioned, and therefore unstable, consciousness wants to - ground itself, to make itself real.

      But to real-ize itself is to objectify itself - meaning to grasp itself, since an object is that-which-is-grasped.

      The ego-self is this continuing attempt to objectify oneself by grasping oneself, something we can no more do than a hand can grasp itself.

    2. repressed intuition "returns to consciousness in distorted form" as the symbolic ways we compulsively try to ground ourselves and make ourselves real in the world: such as power, fame, and of course money.

      //* Loy is stating... - Those engaging compulsively in money, fame, power, materialism - are actually deeply repressing - the fact that the ego-self, and therefore self-consciousness is a construction - To continually reify the ego-self, we engage in these activities - and of course, this is fueling the polycrisis we now find ourselves in

    3. The Buddhist doctrine of no-self implies that our fundamental repression is not sex (as Freud thought), nor even death (as existential psychologists think), but the intuition that the ego-self does not exist, that our self consciousness is a mental construction.


    1. You need to be on top of your index. This is your main navigation system.

      This is a major drawback to this method and the affordance of sparse indexing using Luhmann's method.

    1. For instance, we used to think that the main cause of obesity was a poor diet at an individual level, leading to treatments focused on the individual. However, taking a networked thinking approach in a 32-year-long study with over 12,000 people led researchers to discover that the participants’ personal network had a great impact on their likelihood to be obese. “Discernible clusters of obese persons were present in the network at all time points,” write the researchers.

      Another social factor influencing human behaviour. Beware of such factors when it comes to self-improvement and learning.

    1. Ithaka - C. P. Cavafy, "The City" from C.P. Cavafy: Collected Poems. Translated by Edmund Keeley and Philip Sherrard.

      The first version of "Ithaka" was probably written in 1894. Cavafy revised the poem in 1910, and it was first published in 1911. The first English translation was published in 1924, and there have been a number of different translations since then. The poem can be found in Cavafy's Collected Poems, translated by Edmund Keeley and Philip Sherrard, edited by George Savidis, Princeton University Press, 1980.

    1. I dont know if it's just me, but there is something about this learning journey that feels illegal. I think I am feeling the way I feel due to the influence of centralization and the corporate world we live in. This knowledge should be open to all and more people should know about this.

  8. Feb 2023
    1. I find it very tiring haha. As I said in another comment, processing a single chapter can take me a full day or two. However, I keep reminding myself that I would rather spend a day processing a chapter well, and have literature notes to serve me a lifetime (potentially, at least), rather than reading a chapter in two hours and not remember a single thing the next day. When I REALLY need a reminder of this, I just look at my "Backlog" folder which contains old "notes" that are now pretty much useless: I didn't use a reference manager consistently during my first two years of PhD so there are a lot of citations which are unreliable; I didn't really summarise texts, I only read them and highlighted; I didn't use the cloud for a long time, so I lost a lot of notes; and I didn't have Obsidian, so a lot of my notes are just contained within the context of the place I read them, rather than being connected. Seeing three years worth of useless materials, and knowing that I read a couple hundred of articles/chapters but I have nothing to show for it, that makes me more patient when writing my literature notes now. However I also find it very exciting that I can future-proof some of my notes. I feel like I'm working for my future self.

      A partial answer to note taking why.

    1. The reason is that the journaling is in part an accumulative method: There is a long period of low-structured input which benefits manifest first acutely (writing in itself seems to be healing through understanding). After you amassed a time-line of thoughts you can try to find throughlines and patterns which then gives you access to deep insights if you have the right tools. Most of the time people use psychologists which I think is in a similar way problematic that people use physical therapists for too much of their problems: Many problems are best solved by the person that has immediate access to the ego-perspective (phenomenological layer, subjective access, etc.) of the problem. This is of course dependent on self-education on basic concepts of what I call true self-care. Self-care seems to be associated with stuff like doing pleasant things (hot bath, nice walks in the sun) nowadays. If you take the antifragile nature of us humans into account this is just another way of the modern hedonist to keep stuck. (This is important for my approach to incorporate journaling into the Zettelkasten Method)

      —Sasha Fast https://forum.zettelkasten.de/profile/Sascha

      I love the deeper definition and distinction of self-care here.

    1. “How to Write a Thesis,” then, isn’t just about fulfilling a degree requirement. It’s also about engaging difference and attempting a project that is seemingly impossible, humbly reckoning with “the knowledge that anyone can teach us something.” It models a kind of self-actualization, a belief in the integrity of one’s own voice.
    2. But the book’s enduring appeal—the reason it might interest someone whose life no longer demands the writing of anything longer than an e-mail—has little to do with the rigors of undergraduate honors requirements. Instead, it’s about what, in Eco’s rhapsodic and often funny book, the thesis represents: a magical process of self-realization, a kind of careful, curious engagement with the world that need not end in one’s early twenties.
    1. | physics/mathematics | Classical Physics | Quantum Mechanics |<br /> |---|---|---|<br /> | State Space | fields satisfying equations of laws<br>- the state is given by a point in the space | vector in a complex vector space with a Hermitian inner product (wavefunctions) |<br /> | Observables | functions of fields<br>- usually differential equations with real-valued solutions | self-adjoint linear operators on the state space<br>- some confusion may result when operators don't commute; there are usually no simple (real-valued) numerical solutions |

    1. Principle (Observables). States for which the value of an observable can becharacterized by a well-defined number are the states that are eigenvectors forthe corresponding self-adjoint operator. The value of the observable in such astate will be a real number, the eigenvalue of the operator.

      What does he mean precisely by "principle"?

  9. Jan 2023
    1. If you aren’t visibly producing, you aren’t worthy. In this context, taking time to lie dormant feels greedy, even wasteful.


    1. Beware the person, party, or project that claims to be the incarnation of the common good. The common good is imminent within the polis in all its possibility, but it is never the embodiment of any one version of the polis. That way of thinking, always tempting, often deployed, never ends well. The common good is not something extra added on to what other practices of right recognition provide for a society. Instead, the common good shifts the frame and changes the subject of political life from the declarative as is to the subjunctive as if—the corrected fullness of equality, justice, and interdependent mutuality that are already but not yet.

      !- comment : Deep Humanity multi-meaningverse / situatedness and perspectival knowing - One perspective cannot rule all - By definition, an individual is one person, as soon as there are two, there are at least two perspectives - We are the entanglement of the similar and the different; if we did not share fundamental human traits, we could not communicate, and yet, being nurtured in unique lifeworlds, we are so distinct - the intersection of these two opposing qualities is the inherent contradiction of our human nature

    1. Friedrich Schiller had already argued in 1795 that it was precisely in play that we find the origins of self-consciousness, and hence freedom, and hence morality. “Man plays only when he is in the full sense of the word a man,” Schiller wrote in his On the Aesthetic Education of Man, “and he is only wholly a Man when he is playing.”
    1. what are the things you've done or you're doing now that your 10 year old 00:10:51 self will be so happy for but if he was in front of you right now he'd just be hugging you and high fiving you nonstop the things you're doing that he will appreciate in ten years and then what are a few things that he's 00:11:04 gonna say man i really wish you wouldn't do that right now

      !- Gedanken : future self question to present self

    1. you have to 00:07:05 make that decision for yourself right and yet somehow we also have to transform society well i i think that that's it that's maybe the most 00:07:18 important the single most important thing that buddhi buddhism has to offer which is the ecosatur path frankly or sorry not not just regards ecology but let's call it the the bodhisattva path 00:07:31 or the new bodhisattva path that that what's what's so wonderful about that path is one has a double or dual practice you know we we continue to work on our own transformation but we know that 00:07:44 that's in itself insufficient it's still at a certain point that can actually reinforce the the root delusion of separation that my well-being is separate from yours and other people 00:07:56 so you know we also are engaged out in the world and and what i think one of the really important things about that i think is the way those two reinforce each other that um 00:08:10 it's not simply that they go well together but that if you are working and transforming yourself by being engaged in the world it's helping to overcome our kind of deeply rooted self-preoccupied habits so 00:08:23 i think that that's really important in fact given the kind of very critical situation we face right now may be the most important thing of all that buddhism has to offer

      !- work on self : entangle with work on others - Loy acknowledges the fact that one cannot truly work on the self in isolation, - lest it actually increase the root separation that is the cause of the problem we have - working on breaking the illusion of the self-concept is also working on clearly seeing our entanglement with the other

    1. i'll be talking to you for four weeks 00:06:02 um about what i call losing yourself that is really understanding the idea of no self of selflessness not in the moral sense specifically though that will get there but not having a self 00:06:14 and of what it is to exist as a person uh without a self and i'll be doing this um from a variety of perspectives and one of the things that might make this 00:06:27 set of talks different from a lot of the talks that the barry center supports is that it won't be specifically or uniquely buddhist doctrine i will be relying on a lot of 00:06:40 buddhist arguments because i do that but also addressing a lot of western arguments in western literature and i won't be interested in doing a lot of textual work in fact i won't do any textual work at all even though i love doing that this will be really about the 00:06:53 idea about really how to understand the idea of not having a self and the idea and how to understand what it is to be a person so i'll draw on buddhist ideas and non-buddhist ideas on western ideas 00:07:07 but i won't be specifically giving a course in the history of buddhist thought about no-self nor will i be talking about practice this will be a very theoretical um set of lectures um but i think what i have to say will 00:07:20 be relevant um to those who are coming here in order to enrich their practice but i won't be specifically talking about that um most of what i'm doing will be based on a book that is 00:07:33 now in press called losing yourself how to be a person without a self

      !- theme of talk : losing yourself, How to be a Person without a Self - what it is to exist as a person without a self - based on the research in his book: Losing yourself: How to be a person without a self

      !- Jay Garfield : Comment - This work is in the same direction as the following authors: - Physicist Tom Murphy: civilization and the program of control as the root structural problem of our polycrisis https://hyp.is/go?url=http%3A%2F%2Fdocdrop.org%2Fvideo%2Ff6yFrh1X6DI%2F&group=world<br /> - Glenn Albrecht & Gavin Van Horn: Replacing the Anthropocene with the Symbiocene https://hyp.is/go?url=https%3A%2F%2Fhumansandnature.org%2Fexiting-the-anthropocene-and-entering-the-symbiocene%2F&group=world - Buddhist scholar David Loy: On the Emptiness at the heart of the human being that cannot be filled by consumerism & materialism https://hyp.is/go?url=http%3A%2F%2Fdocdrop.org%2Fvideo%2F1Gq4HhUIDDk%2F&group=world - Korean / German philosopher Byung-Chul Han: The Burnout Society https://hyp.is/go?url=http%3A%2F%2Fdocdrop.org%2Fvideo%2FbNkDeUApreo%2F&group=world

    2. by self-alienation what i mean um 01:25:35 is our being in profound confusion about who and what we are about having an idea of what we are that is totally at odds with our actual mode 01:25:48 of existence or nature that's what i mean so i'm alienated from myself when i think that i'm one thing but i'm really something else and these are various ways 01:26:01 of understanding the content of that self-alienation i think that i am toto generally different from the objects of my experience that there's me as pure subject that's one 01:26:14 kind of thing and there's that all of that stuff including all of you folks my computer screen that i'm looking at now my dog lying right next to me all of those things are merely object and i'm subject 01:26:28 so i think of myself as pure subject is like the eye in the visual field i know that that's not what i am i know that i'm an embedded embodied being in a network of dependent origination but i 01:26:40 don't experience myself that way that's a dimension of self-alienation i think of myself as a being that i know immediately that i know my sensations 01:26:52 just by having them i know what i think just by thinking it i know what my emotions are just by experiencing them and that none of that introspective experience none of that awareness is 01:27:04 mediated by anything and that's stupid because i know that the only way that i can know myself is through an introspective activity and that introspection is conceptually laden and that i can be self-deceived and that 01:27:18 my psychiatrist might know me much better than i know myself that my wife knows me better than i know myself and that my dog knows me better than i know myself so i know that i don't have that immediate awareness but i think of 01:27:29 myself as having it that's another dimension of self-alienation i think of myself as a free agent who can act in a way that's totally uncaused just by doing things because i will them 01:27:43 that i've got this free will that is unconstrained by causality i know that that's crazy i know that i'm a biological organism and that everything i do is caused by previous causes and conditions 01:27:55 but i don't experience myself that way that's another dimension of self-alienation i know that i am a plurality that i've got a brain with lots of different centers of activity lots of different 01:28:07 kinds of cognition happening at the same time of which i'm totally unaware visual processing auditory processing language processing emotions that are subliminal and so forth 01:28:18 sensations that i barely register i know that there's inner complexity but i experience it as a subject of unity that's another dimension of self-alienation all of these are ways that we fail to 01:28:31 know ourselves and all of them cascade from the illusion that we ourselves

      !- explanation : self alienation - the model by which we navigate reality is at odds with the actual mode of existence - I feel I am different than the objects of my experience - The subject does not mix with the objects

    3. we're telling ourselves hey no elephant in my house nothing to worry about whereas the self that we really think we have is that self which is always 01:16:36 subject never object always agent never patient that self that is the enjoyer that stands opposed to the world and experiences it that acts on the world 01:16:49 the self that has a mind and has a body but is not itself a mind or a body that's the serpent and chandra kerdi thinks that if we don't pay attention to that serpent if we don't understand what 01:17:02 it is we believe ourselves to be in our heart of hearts we will never succeed in dispelling the illusion and hume also is trying to identify here 01:17:14 the serpent and he's identifying it as the idea that the word self even means anything

      !- Chandrakurti : don't fool yourself about the elephant - keep your eye focused on the serpent - the actual FEELING and BELIEF that you are what experiences the mind and body, that you are the subject that witnesses all objects - this is the REAL sign that you are attached to the serpent, still caught in the self illusion. --This is the subtle self deception that is extremely difficult to overcome, the innate self illusion that comes from a lifetime of affective conditioning - to upright this innate self-illusion requires monumental effort - actions speak louder than words! - Hume is in essence saying the same thing as Chandrakurti

    4. self-alienation that is if i think that i'm a self but i'm really a person that i really don't know who i am just as if i thought that a dollar had 01:02:13 its value intrinsically in the value of the paper and the ink i wouldn't understand anything about finance currency or purchases

      Second consequence : self alienation self

    5. self-centeredness once i think that i'm a self then i think that i've got a very different relation to me than i have to anybody else that is the relation of 01:01:46 identity and i think that i occupy a very special place in the moral universe namely the center of it where i have a very special concern for me and only an indirect concern for others

      !- first consequence : self centeredness

    6. the self is like that the self is like thinking that there's 01:01:22 something that is really underlying the chariot or underlying the dollar that gives it its value and there are some very nasty consequences of the self-illusion of taking ourselves to be 01:01:34 selves

      !- consequences of : solidifying self illusion

    7. we can understand the fact that we exist conventionally um but as 00:53:05 neither the same nor different from the various constituents that we have that we can lack any core or self but still have a perfectly good existence just like chariots do and that that kind 00:53:17 of existence is enough to account for our existence through time without positing a persistent self or a soul that is strung along through all of those moments

      !- existence : without a self - we can exist through time, just like the chariot or the flame, without needing to impute an unchanging self to exist in every moment - later on in the talk, Jay uses example of money in the same way

    8. ernest becker has made a lot of is offered the same kind of argument which he calls terror management theory um shanti deva rather in the beginning of how to awaken uh how to lead an awakened 00:36:00 life talks about how terrified we are of death how terrified we are of being nothing how terrified we are what's going to happen after death becker doc talks about the same thing and shantideva 00:36:13 argues that in order to save ourselves from that terror what we do is we try to pause it make permanent and self safeguard this self becker does the same thing says we tend to reify ourselves as 00:36:24 a ball work um against terror to somehow manage our terror and but in any case self does seem the self illusion i think i think that idea is quite right by the way that the fear of death which is 00:36:36 deeply wired into us causes us to posit that self causes us to say hey maybe it can live forever maybe it can be reborn life after life after life maybe it can go to heaven things like that 00:36:48 but i also think the idea that affect is deeply related to our sense of self is really there shanti deva makes this point as well as does david hume um shanti deva uh points out that here's when you really decide you've got a self 00:37:02 it's when somebody insults you or hurts you right so somebody says garfield you idiot an and i immediately said wait a minute i'm a whole lot better than that how dare you talk to me like that i don't feel like my body's been 00:37:13 insulted i don't feel like my mind has been insulted i don't feel like my perceptions or sensations have been insulted i feel like i the thing that's got those things has been insulted and i want revenge at that point so that kind 00:37:27 of effect there or if you do something really cool like win the olympic gold medal in 100 meter sprint like i would love to do um with usain bolt's body um then you think when you're really proud of what you've done the pride 00:37:39 attaches not to my body not to my mind but to me so this idea that affect really brings up that sense of self i think is really important uh hume uh makes the same point in his treatise of human nature for those of 00:37:52 you who want to see this done in western philosophy he thinks that it's pride and shame that really bring up the idea of the self you know i mean when i'm ashamed of something that i'm done that i've done i'm not ashamed of my hand 00:38:04 that wrote badly i'm ashamed of me for having bad penmanship if i didn't give to a beggar i'm not ashamed that my mind did something wrong i'm ashamed that i did i was tight-fisted um and so the 00:38:16 idea that these and these aspects bring up the idea of self i think is very powerful and of course anger as i said earlier is another big one all of these involve egocentric attachment so it's when we're attached to things in a way that really fronts 00:38:29 our ego as the possessor then we find that we're positing that self and so this finishes the first of the three things i wanted to do this evening first was to convince you that you really do think yourself to explain what 00:38:42 that self is and to give some idea of why i think that you have why i think that you think that you have a self um no matter how much you might reject that idea on reflection

      !- intrinsic fear of death : strong role in creation of a self illusion -Ernest Becker, David Hume, Shanti Devi all regard death as a major reason we create the self illusion - Becker cliams we reify the self as a bulwark against the terror of death - the fear of death is deeply wired in us - the story of a self allows it to posit a symbolic form of eternal life, hence resulting in immortality projects - we know we have fallen under the spell of the illusion of self when we can be insulted, when we get angry, when we feel shame - it is these affects which establish a self, hence why the self imputation is so strong and difficult to dislodge

    9. son kappa who i mentioned earlier identifies in his great book on the essence of hermenetics two different 00:33:57 kinds of self-grasping two different attitudes that you might have towards yourself he calls them innate self-grasping and self-grasping due to bad philosophy um 00:34:08 and son kappa argues there that philosophical self-grasping is really an attempt to make really good intellectual sense out of a deep illusion you can imagine 00:34:21 that as somebody saying gosh what i'm going to figure out is how drawing arrowheads on lines makes one line longer and one another line shorter right that's a dumb idea right but you can imagine people trying to do that or 00:34:33 somebody's saying i wonder how deep the water is in that mirage over there that's what sankampa thinks we're doing when we're really philosophically arguing that there's a self we're trying to make coherent and atavistic primitive 00:34:46 illusion but there's also that innate self-grasping that gives rise to that illusion it's on campuses it's actually really easy to get rid of philosophical self-grasping philosophical 00:34:58 self-grasping arises from bad philosophy and you can cure it by doing good philosophy so by the end of these four lectures you'll never believe in a philosophical argument for the self i'm sure of that but innate self-grasping he 00:35:10 thinks requires very long time of practice to try to effectively rewire the way that we understand the world

      !- Tsongkapa : Innate vs philosophical self grasping - philosophical self-grasping is intellectual and can be mitigated by better philosophical argument - innate self-grasping is very difficult and comes from deep conditioning that wires our way of behaving in the world a certain habitual way - it takes great effort to rewire ourselves from innate self grasping

    10. there is a difference between the 00:33:06 serpent and the elephant and that we do atavistically think that we are something other than our minds and bodies and i think that the serpent is real that is the serpent is the illusion illusory self that we need to get rid of 00:33:19 and so even if it's crazy to think that we are such a thing and when we say it out loud it sounds stupid and incoherent that doesn't stop us from believing it because we are stupid incoherent kinds 00:33:31 of beings wired for stupidity and incoherence with the task of somehow trying to unwire ourselves into something approaching inside

      !- defining the challenge : we are stupid, incoherent kinds of beings who are swayed by the illusion

    11. now i want to introduce you to my favorite 00:24:20 illusion which is going to be important because i'm going to use it as a model for everything that we're going to talk about later when we talk about the self and that's the mueller liar illusion so here we have two lines with little arrowheads and 00:24:33 those two lines those two parallel lines are exactly the same length as one another you can sort of line them up visually and see that um but the arrowheads on each side make the 00:24:44 top line look much larger than the bottom line and the amazing thing about the mueller liar illusion one of the reasons i like it is a it's really easy to draw and b um even if you know that it's an 00:24:56 illusion you're totally sucked into it so um and i'm just always amazed by that right you can just draw this illusion for somebody draw the parallel lines the same length they see that draw the 00:25:08 arrowheads and all of a sudden the lines change in apparent length and i use this because it um it illustrates an important thing about an illusion and this is something that we find again from india as a definition of 00:25:21 an illusion an illusion is something that exists in one way but appears to us in a different way or for being very technical we would say something whose mode of existence and mode of appearance 00:25:33 are discordant but that is just atrociously technical and sensibilitic um so these two lines exist as equally long but they appear to be of 00:25:45 unequal lengths and that would that's what makes them an illusion a mirage exists as a refraction pattern of light but appears to be water so whenever we get that difference between a mode of appearance and a mode of existence we 00:25:59 have an example of illusion and i say that because i want to argue that the self is an illusion that we exist in one way that is as persons but we appear to exist as selves and so we have to come to understand 00:26:11 that illusion in order to begin dispelling it

      !- comparision : Muller-Lyer Illusion and Illusion of Self - Muller-Lyer illusion: lines are same length but due to arrow heads, they appear of different length - an illusion is when something's mode of existence is discordant with its mode of appearance - self is also an illusion compared to person

    12. the important thing to point out is that when we think of the self this way the self isn't my body or my mind i don't take my body to be myself and 00:17:39 we're going to see that in a moment but i think of the self the target of this analysis the snake in the wall as the thing that has a body the thing that has a mind and of course if we were 00:17:50 operating in india and taking a doctrine of reincarnation or rebirth for granted we would think of it as the thing that in different lives appropriates different bodies and minds um and 00:18:02 but remains the same through those lives but if we're not in a kind of reincarnation and rebirth kind of mood um then we might think that it's just the thing that endures through our entire life while everything else 00:18:15 changes that is um the thing that was me when i was an itty-bitty baby when i was a young handsome guy when now that i'm an old guy um that it's there's something continuous there and we think of that as 00:18:28 the self

      !- different ways to think of : the self - the thing that has the mind or the body - the thing that endures through life while everything else changes, it was me as a baby, a child, a young man, an old man, etc.

    13. snake is this self the atman as we say in sanskrit it's not my body it's not my mind it's the thing that has the body and the mind in 00:16:36 sanskrit literature um we think of that as the subject of all of our experience that's never object the knower that's never known the witness that stands outside the world and sees the world the 00:16:48 agent that acts on the world the enjoyer of experiences and lest you think that's antique sanskrit anybody who's read kant will recognize this as the transcendental subject of the first 00:17:00 critique the free transcendental agent of the second critique or the completely free aesthetic subject of the third critique so you don't have to be indian to think that there's an atman you can be prussian as well

      !- snake : what is the real self? - it is the subject of all experience that is never the object - it is the knower, but is never the known - it is the witness that stands outside the world - it is Kant's transcendental agent of the first and second critique, subject of the third critique

    14. tells a great story says there's this guy um who is pretty sure he's got a snake in the wall of his house and in india um 00:14:13 that's still a problem and it was a much bigger problem back in the 7th century that snakes especially crates but also cobras would in order to get warm take up residence in the nooks and crannies of the stone wall of a house so this guy 00:14:26 is afraid that he's got a snake in the wall of his house and he's in order to dispel his own fear he walks around the house convincing himself that there's no elephant there and chandra charity says wouldn't this 00:14:40 guy be a public laughingstock who tries to assuage his fear of the snake by convincing himself that there's no elephant and what's the point of this weird story 00:14:52 you might ask well the moral of the story is this the snake is the self it's the self that you really do john vacardi thinks believe that you have and 00:15:05 the elephant is all of the things you might convince yourself that you don't have or that the self isn't um in order to really convince yourself that you're a really cool no self person so you might say hey i know my body's not a 00:15:18 self i've really got no self down pat or i know my mind isn't the self i've got myself myself i've got myself really on the right track here or all of these things and chandra kiriti thinks that a lot of the time when we think that we're refuting 00:15:32 the idea of a self we're actually refuting something else and so that the first important thing to do is to identify what that thing is that is the target of 00:15:43 our critical inquiry

      !- Explanation : Snake and Elephant story from Chandrakirti - the snake represents the self - and the elephant represents what we impute the self to be - All those things we refute (the elephant) are actually not the self at all:

  10. Dec 2022
    1. in the third section we're going to focus on the ethical implications of all of this because i think that's really important that's why we do this and then in the fourth part we'll be 00:10:51 talking about what life looks like as a person as opposed to a self and why we should take all of this very seriously

      !- third session : ethical implications of a person without a self !- fourth session :what is the experience of life like when you are a person without a self?

    1. Although some of them took a lot of time to create (I literally wrote whole book summaries for a while), their value was negligible in hindsight.

      What was the purpose of these summaries? Were they of areas which weren't readily apparent in hindsight? Often most people's long summaries are really just encapsulalizations of what is apparent from the book jacket. Why bother with this? If they're just summaries of the obvious, then they're usually useless for review specifically because they're obvious. This is must make-work.

      You want to pull out the specific hard-core insights that weren't obvious to you from the jump.

      Most self-help books can be motivating while reading them and the motivation can be helpful, but generally they will only contain one or two useful ideas

    1. If my interpretation of the Retrieval quadrant is correct, it will become much more difficult to be an average, or even above average, writer. Only the best will flourish. Perhaps we will see a rise in neo-generalists.

      This is probably true of average or poor software engineers given that GPT-3 can produce pretty reasonable code snippets

    1. If I were asked to condense the whole of the present century into one mental picture I would pick a familiar everyday sight: a man in a motor car, driving along a concrete highway to some unknown destination … I think that the 20th century reaches almost its purest expression on the highway. Here we see, all too clearly, the speed and violence of our age, its strange love affair with the machine and, conceivably, with its own death and destruction.

      Cars weirdly coffin-shaped; thinking about the death of distance, the impatience between points, and the necessity to kill intervening 'dead' time spent in transit

    1. For most Americans, poverty is seen as an individualized conditionthat exclusively affects those individuals, their families, and perhaps theirneighborhoods. Rarely do we conceptualize a stranger’s poverty as having adirect or indirect effect on our own well-being.

      The Golden Rule not only benefits your neighbor, but you as well.

    2. Alexis de Tocqueville referred to this in his 1840 treatise on America as self-interest properly understood. In fact, the full title of the chapter from his book,Democracy in America, is, “How the Americans Combat Individualism by theDoctrine of Self-Interest Properly Understood.” His basic premise was that“one sees that by serving his fellows, man serves himself and that doing good isto his private advantage.”6
    1. I often think back to MySpace’s downfall. In 2007, I penned a controversial blog post noting a division that was forming as teenagers self-segregated based on race and class in the US, splitting themselves between Facebook and MySpace. A few years later, I noted the role of the news media in this division, highlighting how media coverage about MySpace as scary, dangerous, and full of pedophiles (regardless of empirical evidence) helped make this division possible. The news media played a role in delegitimizing MySpace (aided and abetted by a team at Facebook, which was directly benefiting from this delegitimization work).

      danah boyd argued in two separate pieces that teenagers self-segregated between MySpace and Facebook based on race and class and that the news media coverage of social media created fear, uncertainty, and doubt which fueled the split.


    2. engineers will get tired, mistakes will happen, and maintenance will get kicked down the road. Teams need buffer as much as systems do.
    1. My freely downloadable Beginning Mathematical Logic is a Study Guide, suggesting introductory readings beginning at sub-Masters level. Take a look at the main introductory suggestions on First-Order Logic, Computability, Set Theory as useful preparation. Tackling mid-level books will help develop your appreciation of mathematical approaches to logic.

      This is a reference to a great book "Beginning Mathematical Logic: A Study Guide [18 Feb 2022]" by Peter Smith on "Teach Yourself Logic A Study Guide (and other Book Notes)". The document itself is called "LogicStudyGuide.pdf".

      It focuses on mathematical logic and can be a gateway into understanding Gödel's incompleteness theorems.

      I found this some time ago when looking for a way to grasp the difference between first-order and second-order logics. I recall enjoying his style of writing and his commentary on the books he refers to. Both recollections still remain true after rereading some of it.

      It both serves as an intro to and recommended reading list for the following: - classical logics - first- & second-order - modal logics - model theory<br /> - non-classical logics - intuitionistic - relevant - free - plural - arithmetic, computability, and incompleteness - set theory (naïve and less naïve) - proof theory - algebras for logic - Boolean - Heyting/pseudo-Boolean - higher-order logics - type theory - homotopy type theory

  11. Nov 2022
    1. Mash duplicates any sub-Hashes that you add to it and wraps them in a Mash. This allows for infinite chaining of nested Hashes within a Mash without modifying the object(s) that are passed into the Mash. When you subclass Mash, the subclass wraps any sub-Hashes in its own class. This preserves any extensions that you mixed into the Mash subclass and allows them to work within the sub-Hashes, in addition to the main containing Mash.
    2. Value coercions, on the other hand, will coerce values based on the type of the value being inserted. This is useful if you are trying to build a Hash-like class that is self-propagating.