236 Matching Annotations
  1. Oct 2024
  2. Sep 2024
    1. If we were observers who routinely traced  every motion of every molecule, we would say, what do you mean that there's randomness in  what's going on? There's no randomness. I can see what every individual molecule does. So  in a sense, that's an example of a place where being an observer of the kind we are is the  thing that causes us to perceive laws of the kind we perceive.

      for - quote - Stephen Wolfram - being the kind of observer we are causes us to construct the kinds of laws we construct - quote - truth - physical laws - relative to species? - Stephen Wolfram

  3. Aug 2024
    1. This person argues that one should cultivate a personal library, the tangibleness of the physical, to safeguard knowledge and prevent information control from falling to a single institution or person, so that they may never control the past.

      I think he should go deeper into his argument, I do not fully understand what he means.

    1. This passage conflates Elio’s desire with the physical body. By connecting ejaculation with therevealing of his secret, Elio grounds his desire in the physical action of his body. With thismetaphor linking speaking and masturbating, he attempts to convince himself that the confessionhas been completed, resulting in a physical act.

      The only notable quote i think would support my argument. The passage of words to physical truth coming out of his body in his semen. This links the confession of the verbal to the truthful (and permanent) confession of the physical.

  4. Jul 2024
    1. for - economic growth - physical limits to - reductio ad absurdum - physical absurdity of continuing current energy and waste heat trends into the near future

      paper details - title - Limits to Economic Growth - author - Thomas W. Murphy Jr. - date - 21 July, 2022 - publication - Nature Physics, comment, online - https://doi.org/10.1038/s41567-022-01652-6

      summary - Physicist Thomas W. Murphy employs reductio ab adsurdium logic to prove the fallacy of the assumptions of his argument - In this case, the argument is that we can indefinitely continue to sustain economic growth at rates that have held steady at about 2-3% per annum since the early 1900s. - Using both idealistic and simplified energy and waste heat calculations of energy and waste heat compounding at 2-3% per annum (or 10x per century), Murphy shows the absurd conclusions of continuing these current trends of energy and waste heat emissions on a global scale. - The implications are that physics and thermodynamics will naturally constrain us to plateau to a steady state economy in which the majority of economic activity needs to not depend on physically intensive

      from - Planet Critical podcast - 6th Mass Extinction - interview with science journalist Peter Brannen - https://hyp.is/66oSJD-AEe-rN08IjlMu5A/docdrop.org/video/cP8FXbPrEiI/

    2. The red curve in the right panel of Fig.3 shows a more realistic trajectory for theeconomy in the face of a steady physicalscale. In this example, non-physical activitiesare allowed to comprise 75% of the economybefore saturating. Although this upperlimit is arbitrary, its exact value does notchange the resulting saturation of the overalleconomy.

      for - steady state economy - when we hit physical constraints - a major percentage of our economy needs to be non-physical

    3. Continued economic growth in the faceof steady-state physical resources wouldrequire all growth to be effectively in thenon-physical sector, possibly assisted bymodest efficiency improvements in howwe use physical resources.

      for - decoupling - economic growth from - physical resources

    4. it is unclear what mightprevent economic growth from continuingapace even in the context of stalled growthin the physical domain. The idea of‘decoupling’ in economics addresses exactlythis point.

      for - question - decoupling economics from physical resources- degrowth?

      question - decoupling economics from physical resources- degrowth? - The author seems to be talking about continuing an economy with - less and less reliance on physically intensive activities, hence significantly reducing our carbon and physical resource intensity

  5. Jun 2024
  6. May 2024
    1. Thus, being in the physical presence ofothers might give the illusion of interaction in face-to-face classeswhich presents a challenge for online learning. It is possible thatthe interaction to which students are referring involves mostlythe physical aspect of human interaction. Electronic interaction, nomatter how frequent, may not be filling that aspect of the students’needs for social interaction

      physical presence with others - illusion of interaction

  7. Apr 2024
    1. tangible object in cognitive apprenticeship instruction stimulates more meta-cognitive behaviour.

      FOR LATER - for rmasters side I should have kids be able to PRINT OUT something that they can colour in and cut out and shape out of paper (Like Cube E Craft) so that there can be a 3D element that comes from the application!

  8. Feb 2024
    1. This was the stethoscope, the invention of R. T. H. Laennec (1781–1826), one of the most complex and gifted of the French clinicians.

      Essentially hearing and speaking are replaced by instruments/tools.

    1. In the following example, a set of mutual_friends is created with the .intersection() method using two sets of friend groups:

      A simple example identifying qualitative similarities using the intersection operator for sets.

    1. Python List append() Method

      This web page offers a brief overview of the append() function for lists in python.

  9. Jan 2024
    1. * Ticklers in U.S.A.

      differentiation in terminology here between Britain and the US: future reminders vs. ticklers

    Tags

    Annotators

    1. text in draw.io diagrams

      https://youtu.be/3Lru4k9Q55k?si=2TsGAi8iMEMunKii&t=15

      I opened the image in Youtube and then under share link I choose the start at time ootion. Please note the three tags I added. Note, once you have created the required tag of physical-computing it will auotcomplete. Also, you need to hit enter after you type in each tag, be sure to check the tags got added, as you are being graded on your ability to tag web content.

    1. This tutorial will cover the Diagram editor and the Board editor; both have similar features and functionality.

      Very helpful for getting a grasp on connecting shapes and forming neater flow charts

    1. Mosaic was the first browser to explore the concept of collaborative annotation in 1993[2

      her is some evidence that I am being honest

    1. by far the most illuminating to me is the idea that mental causation works from virtual futures towards the past 00:33:17 whereas physical causation works from the past towards the future and these two streams of causation sort of overlap in the present

      for - comparison - mental vs physical causation - adjacency - Michael Levin's definition of intelligence - Sheldrake's mental vs physical causation

      key insight - comparison - mental vs physical causation - mental causation works from virtual futures to past - physical causation works from past to future - this is an interesting way of seeing things

      adjacency - between - direction of mental vs physical causation - Michael Levin's definition of intelligence (adopting WIlliam James's idea) and cognition and cognitive light cones of living organisms:: - having a goal - having autonomy and agency to reach that goal - adjacency statement - Levin adopts a definition of cognition from scientific predecessors that relate to goal activity. - When an organism chooses one specific behavioral trajectory over all other possible ones in order to reach a goal - this is none other than choosing a virtual future that projects back to the present - In our species, innovation and design is based on this future-to-present backwards projection

    1. Visual Studio Code has integrated source control management (SCM) and includes Git support out-of-the-box. Many other source control providers are available through extensions on the VS Code Marketplace

      This is an excellent resource for learing about Git integration with VS Code

  10. Dec 2023
    1. The next step would be a convergence with the commons of physical production, the cosmo-local urban commons and p2p hardware companies, so that crypto governance becomes a mutual coordination infrastructure for more and more human citizens.
      • for: quote - ethereum - milestone - integration with physical production commons

      • quote

        • The next step would be a convergence with the commons of physical production, the cosmo-local urban commons and p2p hardware companies, so that crypto governance becomes a mutual coordination infrastructure for more and more human citizens
      • author: Michel Bauwens
      • date: 2023
  11. Sep 2023
    1. according to Husserl, Galileo was the one who performed the trick. Who suddenly was hiding the origin of knowledge.
      • for: quote, quote - Galileo, quote - hiding the origin of knowledge, physical theory - hiding origin of knowledge

      • quote

        • According to Husserl, Galileo was the one who performed the trick. Who suddenly was hiding the origin of knowledge.
      • author: Michel Bitbol
    1. religious ideas contend that a non-physical Consciousness called God was in a good mood at one point so he and it usually is a he created 01:27:18 physicality the material world around us thank you so in those viewpoints Frameworks you're not allowed to ask who or what created God because the answer will be well he 01:27:35 just is and always was so have faith my child and stop asking questions like that [Music] religion or Mythos of materialism philosophy you are not allowed to ask 01:27:46 what created physical energy if you do the answer will be the big bang just happened it was this energy in a point that just was and always will be so have faith my child and don't ask questions 01:28:00 that can't be answered
      • for: adjacency: adjacency - monotheistic religions and maerialism
      • adjacency between
        • monotheistic religion
        • materialist / physicalist scientific theories
      • adjacency statement:
        • Good observation of an adjacency, although not all religions hold those views, and even in those religions, those are those views are held by less critical thinkers.
          • In the more contemplative branches of major world religions, there is a lot of deep, critical thinking that is not so naive.
    1. Recent work has revealed several new and significant aspects of the dynamics of theory change. First, statistical information, information about the probabilistic contingencies between events, plays a particularly important role in theory-formation both in science and in childhood. In the last fifteen years we’ve discovered the power of early statistical learning.

      The data of the past is congruent with the current psychological trends that face the education system of today. Developmentalists have charted how children construct and revise intuitive theories. In turn, a variety of theories have developed because of the greater use of statistical information that supports probabilistic contingencies that help to better inform us of causal models and their distinctive cognitive functions. These studies investigate the physical, psychological, and social domains. In the case of intuitive psychology, or "theory of mind," developmentalism has traced a progression from an early understanding of emotion and action to an understanding of intentions and simple aspects of perception, to an understanding of knowledge vs. ignorance, and finally to a representational and then an interpretive theory of mind.

      The mechanisms by which life evolved—from chemical beginnings to cognizing human beings—are central to understanding the psychological basis of learning. We are the product of an evolutionary process and it is the mechanisms inherent in this process that offer the most probable explanations to how we think and learn.

      Bada, & Olusegun, S. (2015). Constructivism Learning Theory : A Paradigm for Teaching and Learning.

  12. Aug 2023
    1. Health care is an area that will likely see many innovations. There are already multiple research prototypes underway looking at monitoring of one’s physical and mental health. Some of my colleagues (and myself as well) are also looking at social behaviors, and how those behaviors not only impact one’s health but also how innovations spread through one’s social network.
      • for: quote, quote - Jason Hong, quote - health apps, health care app, idea spread through social network, mental health app, physical health app, transform app
      • quote
      • paraphrase
        • Health care is an area that will likely see many innovations. -There are already multiple research prototypes underway looking at monitoring of one’s
          • physical and
          • mental health.
        • Some of my colleagues (and myself as well) are also looking at
          • social behaviors, and how those behaviors
            • not only impact one’s health but also
            • how innovations spread through one’s social network.
    2. We lived in a relatively unregulated digital world until now. It was great until the public realized that a few companies wield too much power today in our lives. We will see significant changes in areas like privacy, data protection, algorithm and architecture design guidelines, and platform accountability, etc. which should reduce the pervasiveness of misinformation, hate and visceral content over the internet.
      • for: quote, quote - Prateek Raj, quote - internet regulation, quote - reducing misinformation, fake news, indyweb - support
      • quote
        • We lived in a relatively unregulated digital world until now.
        • It was great until the public realized that a few companies wield too much power today in our lives.
        • We will see significant changes in areas like
          • privacy,
          • data protection,
          • algorithm and
          • architecture design guidelines, and
          • platform accountability, etc.
        • which should reduce the pervasiveness of
          • misinformation,
          • hate and visceral content
        • over the internet.
        • These steps will also reduce the power wielded by digital giants.
        • Beyond these immediate effects, it is difficult to say if these social innovations will create a more participative and healthy society.
        • These broader effects are driven by deeper underlying factors, like
          • history,
          • diversity,
          • cohesiveness and
          • social capital, and also
          • political climate and
          • institutions.
        • In other words,
          • just as digital world is shaping the physical world,
          • physical world shapes our digital world as well.
      • author: Prateek Raj
        • assistant professor in strategy, Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore
  13. Jun 2023
    1. undertakesto supply a substantial part of the materials necessary for such manufactureor production

      It does not mean that buyetr cannot supply any materials. Sometimes it has to, however, the bottom line is where this "substantial part" lies. There are three ways to define: economic value, vilume, respective contribution to the end product. Most scholars favour economic value test. This means that CISG does not apply where the value ofb contributions of a buyer to the supply of materials is 50% or more. The importanrt rule is to compare party's contributions to each other and not to the value pf end product.

    1. “The purpose of our life should be to build up the Zion of our God, to gather the House of Israel, … store up treasures of knowledge and wisdom in our own understandings, purify our own hearts and prepare a people to meet the Lord when he comes. … “We have no business here other than to build up and establish the Zion of God. It must be done according to the will and law of God [see D&C 105:5], after that pattern and order by which Enoch built up and perfected the former-day Zion, which was taken away to heaven. … We, through our faithfulness, must prepare ourselves to meet Zion from above when it shall return to earth, and to abide the brightness and glory of its coming” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young [1997], 111–12).

      a couple things:

      • as social creatures, human beings rely on establishing relationships with those around us. our existence begins within families, through the union of a mother and a father, and this pattern repeats throughout generations

      • these communal relationships form the foundation for unity, creating a shared purpose and principles. any discord within these relationships can result in separation

      • death serves as the most explicit form of separation: firstly, physical death separates the body from the spirit, and finally, spiritual death represents the separation of men from god.

      • another explicit instance of separation found in the scriptures is the scattering of Israel. our current work involves gathering israel, which requires severing our ties with our brothers and sisters across the globe. this gathering process is vital in building the zion we are commanded to establish before the second coming of christ

      [[the church is one body]]

      "1 Corinthians 12:12-14 emphasizes the idea that all individuals, regardless of their background or status, are united as one body through the Spirit of Christ. Paul teaches the importance of unity and care for one another within this body to avoid any divisions or schisms. It also emphasizes the interconnectedness of all individuals within the body, such that if one member suffers, all members suffer, and if one member is honored, all members rejoice." - The Doctrine of Belonging - Elder D. Todd Christofferson

  14. May 2023
    1. I am an art theory student and started in Zettelkasten in February. I knew about Warburg moodboards of images but only now I realized that he was using zettelkasten too. Thats nice to know.

      reply to cristinadias7 at https://forum.zettelkasten.de/discussion/comment/17804/#Comment_17804

      @cristinadias7 If you're interested in the overlap of zettelkasten and art or even zettelkasten for art, I've got a small collection available digitally if you think it would be useful/helpful.

      Some artworks are difficult to index on physical cards because of their physical nature, so if it helps and you don't have pictures available to file away, you can index their storage locations the way libraries would index "realia" and keep your notes on them there. Twyla Tharpe kept actual objects in larger boxes by categories which is another fascinating way of doing things.

  15. Mar 2023
    1. The physical abnormalities which have been found so, common among prisoners are not the stigmata of criminality, but the physical accompaniments of feeble-mindedness. They have no diagnostic significance except in so far as they are indications of mental deficiency.

      Lombroso wasn't able to find a connection between physical attributes and criminality. He was able to find physical attributes with feeble-mindedness. This is important to the history of psychology because physical attributes do not have a correlation with criminal behavior. Many people think that there is a connection with physical attributes and criminals, but there is no correlation.

  16. Jan 2023
  17. Oct 2022
    1. Goutor defines self-help notes as notes which one would use to refresh their memory about what remains to be done or researched, problems that remain to be solved, or information which is needed to be researched or found. (p26) These are akin in some sense to what I call "open questions". He also indicates that these notes might be triggered by one's daily activities or occasional musings which relate to one's project but occur outside of its active pursuit. In this sense, they have a similar feel to the idea of Ahrens' fleeting notes, but in Goutor's practice they aren't defined as occurring while one is doing active reading or research.

      He suggests that one keeps these notes in a separate area so that they might be systematically and regularly visited for review, further research, or answering as the opportunities to do so present themselves. Once the questions have been answered and appropriate notes updated or added, these self-help notes can be discarded.

  18. Aug 2022
  19. Jun 2022
    1. The Reading Brain in the Digital Age: The Science of Paper versus Screens https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/reading-paper-screens/ by Ferris Jabr Scientific American 2013-04-11 A good overview of reading practices, reading user interfaces, and research literature relevant to it. Lots of abstracts from research which I ought to look at more closely, and thus didn't make note of as much as I'd rather delve into the primary sources.

      Most of the research cited here is preliminary to early e-reading devices and has small sample sizes. Better would be to see how subsequent studies have fared with larger and more diverse groups.

    2. Some researchers have found that these discrepancies create enough "haptic dissonance" to dissuade some people from using e-readers. People expect books to look, feel and even smell a certain way; when they do not, reading sometimes becomes less enjoyable or even unpleasant. For others, the convenience of a slim portable e-reader outweighs any attachment they might have to the feel of paper books.
    1. For most of history, humanity’s challenge was how to acquire scarceinformation. There was hardly any good information to be foundanywhere. It was locked up in difficult-to-reproduce manuscripts orstuck in the heads of scholars. Access to information was limited, butthat wasn’t a problem for most people. Their lives and livelihoodsdidn’t require much information. Their main contribution was theirphysical labor, not their ideas.

      This is an overly painful Western cultural viewpoint and totally erases orality and oral cultures from the discussion. We can and should do better.

    1. The box makes me feel connected to a project. It is my soil. I feel this evenwhen I’ve back-burnered a project: I may have put the box away on a shelf, but Iknow it’s there. The project name on the box in bold black lettering is a constantreminder that I had an idea once and may come back to it very soon.

      Having a physical note taking system also stands as a physical reminder and representation of one's work and focus. It may be somewhat out of the way on a shelf, but it takes up space in a way that digital files and notes do not. This invites one into using and maintaining it.


      Link to - tying a string on one's finger as a reminder - method of loci - orality

  20. May 2022
  21. Apr 2022
  22. Mar 2022
  23. Feb 2022
    1. Heesakkers, H., van der Hoeven, J. G., Corsten, S., Janssen, I., Ewalds, E., Simons, K. S., Westerhof, B., Rettig, T. C. D., Jacobs, C., van Santen, S., Slooter, A. J. C., van der Woude, M. C. E., van den Boogaard, M., & Zegers, M. (2022). Clinical Outcomes Among Patients With 1-Year Survival Following Intensive Care Unit Treatment for COVID-19. JAMA, 327(6), 559–565. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2022.0040

    1. But in 618, to punish Pulakeshin for his audacious move on southern Gujarat, Harsha had to cross the Narmada river into the Deccan — which tilted the odds in Pulakeshin’s favour. With his control over the northern Deccan solidified by his of economic and political integration, Pulakeshin could now scout out Harsha’s route of attack and contest the northern emperor’s attempts to cross the great river. Even if Harsha’s larger were to cross the Narmada, this unwieldy force of infantry, cavalry and elephants had to enter the thickly forested Vindhya foothills in order to capture or defeat Pulakeshin — negating their advantage in numbers.

      harsha battle at Narmada Vidhyas foothills

    2. Having expanded his influence as far as Bengal, commanding the ports of India’s east coast, Harsha now wanted to control its west coast as well, linking his territories to flourishing coastal trade routes in both directions. This threat may have been the trigger for the Latas to send tribute to Pulakeshin in place. If so, it was a dangerous gambit: as one scholar puts it, ‘the sovereign of the Deccan must have considered to be his natural birthright… unlimited access to ports of the Gulf of Cambay [Khambat]’.

      Gulf of Khambat

      • importance of port trade in harsha and chalukya period
    1. gives the man and his kinship group certain rights of control over the woman
  24. Jan 2022
    1. “It was kind of fun. Like even though I was green, that doesn’t mean my green tops your yellow right? Whatever I did, I just did it with a lot of energy.”

      There's been a normalization of providing exterior indicators of internal ideas and people's mental states. Examples include pins indicating pronouns, arm bracelets indicating social distancing or other social norms.

      But why aren't we taking these even farther on the anthropological spectrum? Is one society better or worse than another? One religion, one culture? Certainly not. Just like Leah McGowen-Hare's green band indicating that she's a hugger isn't any more valuable than someone else's yellow fist bump indicator. We need to do a better job of not putting people into linear relationships which only exist in our minds until we realize how horrific and dehumanizing they are.


      Cross reference:

  25. Nov 2021
  26. Oct 2021
  27. Sep 2021
    1. “I want to show that people need not be limited by physical handicaps as long as they are not disabled in spirit.”
    2. “I accept that there are some things I can't do. But they are mostly things I don’t particularly want to do anyway. I seem to manage to do anything that I really want.”
    1. Jesus Christ developed in all areas of His life—spiritually (favor with God), socially (favor with man), physically (stature), and intellectually (wisdom)—and so can you!

      headings to tag / organize information under generally. Refining / honing tags with further descriptors would be ideal.

      i.e.: Spiritual / Why i.e.: INTELLECTUAL / MEDICINE / PRACTICE / INTEGUMENTARY

  28. Jul 2021
  29. Jun 2021
    1. Physical: Move Your Body and Don’t Eat Crap—but Don’t Diet Either
      • 30 minutes of movement a day
      • various levels of exertion
      • whole food nutritional focus
    1. Isabel: Yeah. I mean, that's incredible. And it sounds like you're really making a life for yourself and for your family in the US. So can we, I guess start to move into the events that brought you back to Mexico? Just going into those in more detail.Angelo: Okay. Well, I remember the date perfectly. It was November 12, 2015. That's the day that me and my baby mama, wife, girlfriend argued. It was a very childish argument. Do you want me to go into full details?Isabel: Whatever you're comfortable sharing. I know we talked about this in the survey, but we'll just reiterate it.Angelo: Okay. So we started arguing, my girlfriend was a type 2 and was that explosive type 2, where she always had to get the last word. And if we weren't done arguing, she would continue the argument even if I needed a breather, she's, "No, we got to talk because we have to talk." And so that day it was basically like that. We were arguing, one thing led to another, she fell on the bed and my little six month baby went flying. As soon as I saw that I tossed myself, and I swooped her up, but—Isabel: Swooped up the baby?Angelo: Yeah, but it was too late, her ear hit the floor. Her ear hit the floor, and I tossed myself, so I hit a bunch of furniture and bunch of stuff fell on top of us. And baby started crying and she wanted to take off with my kids—I love my kids to death.Isabel: Kids? So it was the baby, and also?Angelo: Yes. I have four kids in total. My oldest kid was barely going into elementary school, so that was the main reason why we always argue a lot, because I told her if my kid's going to start elementary school, he's going to stay in one school. We're not going to have him moving around from school to school just because we're arguing or just because we have problems. If we're going to do this, we're going to be a family, and we're going to get through this. And that was the main reason why we stuck together, I would say the last couple of years, because even though we didn't have that much love for each other anymore, it was basically we loved our kids too much for us to do anything else. And so, she wanted to take the kids, so I absolutely didn't let her. There was a point where I called the police because after the baby stopped crying, she wanted to put her in the car seat, and I told her no. And it got to the point where we were literally tugging at the car seat.Angelo: We were playing a tug of war at the car seat with a little baby in a car seat. I told my little brothers, "You know what, I need you to sit down and help me." Because we were alone at the house and I didn't want anything to go wrong. So I told my brothers, I need you to help me, I need you to sit down right here and see what's going on. Well, I have two brothers. I told one, “Sit down and see what's going on.” And I told the other one, “I need you to call the police.” I called the police and they told me, “It's a civil argument, we can't do anything until one of you puts your hands on each other, then you can call us.”Isabel: How old were you?Angelo: I was 21 years old. I called the police multiple times, they never came. It got to the point where I was sitting in the living room, and out of nowhere I see my baby mama grab her things and just take my daughter. I had two boys and two daughters. My two boys were the oldest and the two daughters were the youngest and the baby of course. And she took the toddler, the two-year old, she took her by the hand and left through the back door. As soon as she did that, I called the police again and I told them, “You know what, this is way out of hand. She's literally taking off with my kid, she's out of control. I don't want her to be detained, I don't want anything, I just don't want anything to happen to her because she's crazy right now, she's super mad and I know her, the way she drives, something's going to happen.” They never showed up. I promise you if they would've showed up then, anyways—Isabel: No, I‚Angelo: If they would've probably showed up then, the first time that I called them, everything probably would have been…I probably wouldn't have ended up deported. So, she left with the kid—Isabel: Are the other kids at your house during this time?Angelo: Yes. At that point I had told my brothers, "Take my kids, go watch TV and just keep them entertained." So my wife took off, me and my kids spent the afternoon in my mom's house. The next morning, it was around seven o'clock in the morning, I took my newborn out to get some sun and I was out there talking to my mom. While talking to my mom, she paid attention to my little baby and she said, "She has a bruise." And I asked her where it was because I hadn't seen it and she told me, “It's on her ear.” And right away I started putting things together and I said, "My little baby got hurt, something happened." I didn’t tell my mom at the time what had happened, and then I told her, "What do I do?" And she said, "Okay, well maybe it's a spider bite. We need to take her to the clinic." We took her to the clinic, as soon as we got to the clinic, all fingers were on me. They asked me, "Where's the mother?" And I told her, "Well, the mother's not here."Angelo: "Well, we need the mother because this is not a spider bite, this is a bruise. And we need you right now immediately to take the baby to the hospital, and there's no way around that. You need to go right now because we have people that are waiting for you." As soon as I got to the hospital, I was greeted by a detective. Literally the whole hospital was running around trying to figure out what happened. That detective from the little city that I was staying—it was a very little city and very, very, very little city. So by all these arguments with my girlfriend, they had already gotten to a point to where they knew us. They knew we were a toxic couple, there was always things going on, there was always cops needing to control the situation or calm it down.Angelo: So, by the time I got to the detective, she did not want to hear my side of the story. She said, "The little baby got hurt, I have four children, I'm going to put you behind bars." My wife got there, they asked her what happened and she said, "It was his fault." This was around 1:00 AM in the morning, I had planned to stay there with my little baby throughout the night. I was in the restroom about to take a shower, getting ready to lay down. I had already given my keys to my car to my sister because she didn't have a way home. So I was literally preparing the water for me to take a shower and they knock on the bathroom door, I come out, and they said, "You need to leave the room immediately. You need to leave the hospital immediately. And in the morning we're going to have an order for your arrest." And I told them, "Okay, well hold on. What's going on?" And they said, "We can't tell you anything, you just can't be around the little baby."Angelo: I told him, "No, I can't leave. I'm not going to leave my little baby." And they said, "Okay, well you can leave right now, or I can give you a ride home, if I can give you a ride home, then I'm going to have to go ahead and read you your rights." I didn't know what's going on, with them saying that I panicked, and even the hospital ladies were literally scared and they didn't know what was going on. And they were on my side and they told the police officer, "No, no, no, hold on, hold on. He doesn't have a way home, but we're going to get him a taxi. We're going to get them a taxi, we're going to give him the taxi pass and he should be good to go." So they gave me the taxi pass, I went home, nobody showed up the next morning. I called them around half the day because by that time, throughout the time that I was in the hospital without me knowing, they had already went to my house and picked up my other children.Angelo: The next morning, after them telling me to leave the next morning, I called the police station and I told him, "You know what? I need to know whether my kids are all right, where they're at, I need to know what's going on, I need to know something because you haven't told me anything, I don't know where my kids are at, I don't know if they're with their mother, I literally don't know anything. I need you to tell me something." And they told me somebody will get in contact with you soon. I spent a month waiting. I was working, I came home, my mom was crying on the couch and she told me that they had an order for my arrest and I told her, "Okay, well what's next?" And she said, "I don't know son."Angelo: I told her, "Okay, well I'm going to go tomorrow and I'm going to see what's going on." The next morning, I was on my way to the police station, I was walking because obviously I didn't want to take my car. So I was walking to the police station, it was a couple blocks away. When I was walking towards there, I guess they had went some other way where they hadn't seen me, but the police were going to my house and they didn't see me walk into the police station. So they went to my house and they asked my mom, "Where's he at?" And she said, "He's walking to the police station as we speak." Literally it was like, I was the biggest terrorist in the world. They closed down the streets, they put fire trucks, they had detectives, and literally they greeted me with, "Mr ____, how are you doing?"Angelo: So hypocritical because after them saying that they threw me on their hood and put cuffs on me, and I was literally in front of the police station when they did this. So a town so small, everybody saw, all the neighbors, schools, everybody saw. And I was like, "Really? I'm literally in front of police station. Why are you doing all this?" And I was just the biggest terrorist at that time. And I'm getting into jail, they told me that I was being charged with serious bodily injury because it turns out that in her ear she had a little bit of internal bleeding, and they weren't sure if that was going to affect her or not. Thankfully she was only at the hospital for one day, but I didn't know that, I had no idea.Angelo: So literally it took them about a month for them to build their police report. Once I got to read the police report, it made no sense whatsoever. The detective literally twisted my words because once the detective was at the hospital asking me questions, she asked me, "Who did this?" And I told her, "You know what? I know how this goes, my mom works for the state. My mom has her own daycare." Me and my mom went to the clinic, me and my mom came to the hospital. If at any time I was going to think, "Hey, you know what, maybe I'm in trouble. I would have given the baby to my mom and I would have not presented myself, but I'm here with my baby. I have my baby in my arms, this is my life. You can't tell me that you're going to put the blame on me. I wouldn't be here if I feel any type of guilt." So on the police report it said Angelo ____ brought the baby to the hospital because he feels guilty.Angelo: And so that was a done deal. Once I got into prison, got my lawyer, there was a pretty good chance of me fighting it. First three months, I presented myself to the court. Well, they took me to the court because I was already detained and my first offer was 30 years. They told me 30 years or fight your case. Ended up waiting six months, and they went down to 25 years, ended up waiting a couple of more months, they didn't go down at all until my lawyer said, "This is where we're at. You want to protect your wife so much, you love her so much, you don't want her to go to jail, you're planning to throw away your life, 25 years.” She literally took out her phone and showed me a picture of my wife in Miami with some other dude, and then—Isabel: Where are the kids?Angelo: With their grandparents. And then I told my lawyer, "Let's go to trial, I'm going to fight this." The next day the state called me, and they said, “We're going to offer you three years.” And I told my lawyer, "Okay. So what's going to happen?" She said, "You've already done nine months. You've got to do a couple of more months and you'll be good to go." And I said, "Okay, well, I'm not going to put the mother of my kids behind bars, I'm never going to do that ever in a million years, no matter whatever she's done, I'm not going to be the person to do that." So I said, "Okay, I'm going to do a couple of more months, it seems that I have an immigration bond, so I should be good to go." As soon as I got to prison, immigration bond was gone. I got my papers for deportation and my road ended because I thought a couple of more months and the nightmare is over. But I ended up being deported.Isabel: That's just like a series of people twisting and it does sound exactly like a nightmare. I'm so sorry that that happened.Angelo: Yeah.Isabel: I totally get what you're saying. Like, “If I'm here and I'm carrying my baby, if I was guilty, why in the world would I be here?” Like there's so many steps that I feel like for me so clearly indicate you not being guilty. I think it does kind of get back to problems with US authorities and the immigration services where it's like obviously you're undocumented, or they see that you're Mexican, they're going to assume and paint the picture they want even if you in no way fit that picture that they want. And it's so out of your hands because they have all the power in these situations.Angelo: Exactly.Isabel: I just really want to clarify your story for this, in the altercation with your girlfriend or wife, when the baby was on the bed and she was trying to leave with her. And you were saying, "Please don't, you're not leaving with my children." Like, when you said you're in a toxic relationship. Did it also get physical sometimes?Angelo: It got physical. It got physical because there were points where she would stand at the door and that's the only time it got physical because she would get hit by the door. I would try to pull the door and she literally stand there and, I insist, and pull the door even harder. There was one time where we were playing tug of war with the door, and I let the door go and out of nowhere I just see lights—I see lights. Yeah, she hit me, she hit me in my eye. And I grew up with my dad being an alcoholic, I grew up seeing that happen to my mom. Even to this day, I can't forgive my dad. Me and my dad, we can say we love each other, but I will never forget that.Angelo: So that was always in my mind. I have a sister, I have a mom, I'm never going to touch a woman. So whenever I saw lights, I was like, "Okay, that's going to make you feel better, go ahead." So at first, she started slapping me and then I saw lights because she punched me in my eye. As soon as she punched me in my eye, I was like, "Okay, okay, okay. it's not slaps anymore, you're out of control." I held her, she was facing the wall, she bit me. She bit me so hard that I literally I threw her, I literally let go and she hit the wall. She hit the wall and I think she said she bit her lip, I'm not sure what the police officer said, but she ended up spitting up blood because at that point she told me, “Get out of the house.”Angelo: And at that point, we were living by ourselves and I told her, “This is my house, I'm paying rent, there's no way I'm leaving. You can go to your room, I'll stay in the living room, I'm not going anywhere.” So she picked up the phone to call the police, at the same time I picked up the phone to call the police. And so we were both on the line with the police. I waited outside for the police, I waved them down. I literally waved them down and I told them, "Hey, you know what, this is what happened." They took pictures of my eye, they took pictures of the bite, and at the end of the day it was my fault because a woman got hurt. So that was the only point it ever got to a physical altercation.

      Time in the US, Relationships, Having Children, Complications, Break-ups, Domestic Abuse, Violence, Feelings, Despair, Tragedy, Arrests, False accusations

    1. Was there any domestic abuse in your family?Luisa: With my parents? My mother, yes. She doesn't like to talk about it. The older I get, the more she opens up, but it's not something that she likes to talk about. It was never in front of us, it was behind closed doors. I thank my father. He's a piece of shit, but I thank him for at least having the thought of not wanting to traumatize us. So yes, it was behind closed doors, but the more I get out of my mom, it was a lot of emotional abuse as well, a lot. I think there was some physical abuse. My mom's never touched upon it, but that's what happened.

      Time in the US, Migration from Mexico, Reasons, Domestic Violence

  30. May 2021
    1. her hand felt for his and gave it a fleeting squeeze. It could not have been ten seconds, and yet it seemed a long time that their hands were clasped together. He had time to learn every detail of her hand. He explored the long fingers, the shapely nails, the work-hardened palm with its row of callouses, the smooth flesh under the wrist. Merely from feeling it he would have known it by sight. In the same instant it occurred to him that he did not know what colour the girl's eyes were. They were probably brown, but people with dark hair sometimes had blue eyes. To turn his head and look at her would have been inconceivable folly. With hands locked together, invisible among the press of bodies, they stared steadily in front of them, and instead of the eyes of the girl, the eyes of the aged prisoner gazed mournfully at Winston out of nests of hair.
  31. Apr 2021
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  33. Feb 2021